CHAPTER 15Age Always Mattered
ARI
Perhaps the best decision at that moment was for me to die, because then I would stop feeling pain and everyone would forget me.
And even at that age, I understood that no one would help me.
"Go on, go and shut that girl up, she won't stop crying," he said.
While I twisted in pain trying to stand up. I could see the floor stained with blood because of me, but I couldn't even look down.
I was afraid to see myself.
The only thing I could do was close my legs and cover myself with my dress.
It was something that changed from one moment to the next, because I really loved wearing dresses; they reminded me of my mother when she used to dress me. But that memory I loved so much was stained.
By them.
While I was still lying there, they simply brought another girl like me, and I felt so useless, so small. And I was, because how could I save her if I couldn't even save myself?
I looked up to see him standing in front of me, while I cried uncontrollably because I knew what he would do to me, and the only thing I could do was look at him.
Because I knew I couldn't do anything. Because even if I wished I had more strength to fight, I knew it wouldn't happen, because that's just how things were.
I was just a child.
"Do you want to go with your parents?" he asked while offering me his hand, and I froze. I didn't want to touch him. I didn't want him to touch me.
"Yes," I said dryly.
I heard one of them laugh behind me, but I didn't look.
"Then I'll take you to them," he said as he came closer to me, and I bumped into the wall trying to avoid him. Then he grabbed me hard.
"No, no, no, no—" I began struggling in his arms and started to lose my breath. My vision blurred. I couldn't stand. He let me go the moment my breathing started failing.
"Stay away from my little sister," said Sebastián's high-pitched voice, the one he still had back then.
I saw him running toward me, while the others looked worried when they saw him enter. The one who was with the other girl quickly stepped away and tossed her onto one of the couches easily.
Sebastián hugged me and I didn't reject his touch because he was the only one I trusted, because he was my older brother and because he was what I had left of my father.
Because he made me feel protected, just like he used to.
But it was too selfish to believe he could do something, because he was just like me. He was only a child in our uncles' eyes, and he was also just a child to me.
That's why it wasn't his fault. Because I had placed my hopes on him. Because I knew we were alone in this world.
"Is she VIP?" one of them asked, looking at my brother. "Did you bring one of the VIPs' daughters? Are you an idiot or what?" He wasn't looking at us, but at the boy in front of us, while Sebastián used himself as a shield.
"How did you bring one of theirs, you idiot?" the other one asked aggressively, getting closer.
I saw the stress on his face and felt Sebastián's hand near mine, taking it tightly. So I held on. I always would.
Then he turned to me, grabbed my shoulders, lifted me, and ran toward the door. But one of them blocked it. I hid my face in his neck.
"Let us go or you'll deal with our parents," Sebastián said. "My father is Gabriel."
I heard a loud punch and shuddered, but I lifted my head to look back. They were fighting among themselves.
"You're an idiot, look at the fucking mess you got us into," one told the other, shaking his hand, probably because it hurt too. "Fix this now, Roi."
The one blocking the door was named Santiago. I heard someone call him that, when… when—
"We have to call someone before letting them go," Santiago said, putting his phone to his ear. "Yes? Sorry to bother you, but could you come to VIP room 23? Roi made a mistake. He brought one of our partners' daughters."
They didn't take long to arrive. Everyone rushed into the room at once.
And that's when I saw my uncles—my parents? I called them that, but they never really were. Still, for a moment it felt nice to think they were worried about me. I wish I could have stayed with that thought.
Fabiola rushed to me to see how I was. Sebastián put me down and I started crying like never before. She saw my legs and covered her face with her hands, then hugged me.
"You better do something," she said while crouching to my height to pick me up. That comment was aimed at Gabriel.
I couldn't look at any of them.
"Come here," said an older man with a slightly gray beard. He grabbed Roi by the hair and whispered something to him. "I always have to fix your fucking disasters."
"It was Roi's fault."
"Shut up, Milo. I've even had to clean up your fucking diapers in your damn rooms."
"Gabriel?" Fabiola asked. She was scared, and that made me realize she never really knew what he was involved in.
"Don't talk," he answered.
I saw her reaction—the one you have when you realize you don't truly know who you married.
Then he looked at me, stroked my hair, and kissed my forehead.
"I'm sorry, Ari," he said softly under Fabiola's voice. "Forgive me for not being a good mother to you."
"Tell them to leave. One of our doctors is outside. She'll treat your daughter," the man said to Gabriel, then looked at us.
While she carried me, I felt her trembling.
"Leave. I need to negotiate," he said.
"Negotiate? This has to be negotiated? The raped what the hell is wrong with you?" Fabiola said with anger I had never seen before.
Gabriel's eyes widened. He stepped closer to answer her.
"Now you care about what we do? You never complained about where the money came from. Remember you are where you are because of me," he told her, and I saw a tear slide down Fabiola's face as she quickly wiped it away with her hand. "Now leave and take care of Ari."
She nodded. I could feel their eyes on me, so I turned away to avoid them.
We left the room, and there was a woman a little older than Fabiola. She greeted us politely. I looked at her, afraid she might hurt me. She took us far from the rooms and we entered another space. It looked more like an office.
"Please, help my sister, doctor," Sebastián said, and she nodded with a smile.
"She…" Fabiola tried to say.
"You don't need to say it, really, I already know," she told her, and it wasn't to silence her, but to empathize with her. "It truly hurts me, but this is different. She's alive."
My mother brought her hand back to her face, walked toward the wall to steady herself, because if she lost her balance, I would fall with her.
"Do they do this for money?" she asked the doctor.
"No. They do this for pleasure."
"Who did I marry?" she asked into the air.
She carried me to the couch and sat me down. Sebastián immediately sat beside me, took off his jacket, and placed it over my legs. I had stopped bleeding, but it was still stained.
I knew it wasn't menstruation because I was still too young to have it. It hurt to sit down, but I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes burned.
I felt a hand over mine.
"I didn't get there in time," Sebastián told me, and I leaned against him.
No, you didn't. No one did.
"We have to examine you," the doctor said. She knelt and placed what looked like her medical kit. She was at the height of my legs to look at them, and I leaned back.
The doctor looked at Sebastián, and I looked at him too, shaking my head no.
I started kicking.
"Please, don't touch me," I said almost screaming, my voice breaking because I could barely speak. "I don't want to feel pain again."
I looked at Fabiola and she had turned away so she wouldn't see me.
"Mom, Mom, tell them no," I said while Sebastián held me tightly, pulling me back to stop me from resisting.
Fabiola looked at me, because there were few times I called her that.
"Forgive me, Ari, I can't," she said, her makeup a mess, crying nonstop while looking at me.
"Liam," the doctor called out, and a boy came out from the door beside the shelf. I was sure he wasn't much older than me, but he was very tall for his age. "Come, help me."
Even though I said I wouldn't cry, I was, and my eyes burned like never before. He looked at me without understanding the situation, then at his mother.
"Mommy needs you to help with her patient."
He nodded without saying anything. He watched me carefully, then her.
"I need you to hold her leg and turn around. You absolutely cannot look, because that would be very wrong, understand?" she told him, and he nodded again.
Before I could kick him, he held me firmly and turned away. He didn't even glance sideways. He just held me, and I couldn't lift my leg. I barely processed his touch on me.
"You'll feel uncomfortable, but I'm going to heal you, understand? So it stops hurting."
I pressed myself against the back of the couch and Sebastián held me tighter, hugging me to stop my hands from moving.
I knew they wanted to help me, but the force they used reminded me why what happened to me had happened… because I wasn't strong enough.
I saw her lift my dress and I started breathing harder. I whimpered, and I knew it was loud.
"Calm down, Ari. I need you to cooperate so I can help you."
"It hurts," I told her while I felt her touch.
"I know, little one," she said, while I turned toward Sebastián.
"I want my parents… I want my parents."
And without realizing it, Sebastián was crying with me.
Because he was still just a child too.
I felt immense pain for ten minutes, but now I didn't fight like I did with them.
I gave up.
I gave up at ten years old.
When I finally felt peace and they let me go, she cleaned my legs, leaving them clean and without any trace of blood. Sebastián still hadn't let me go, and honestly, I didn't want him to.
Fabiola came over and brushed my hair back behind my ears.
"Are you a little better?" she asked while wiping my cheeks with her hands. "Sorry… I don't even know what I'm asking."
"It's okay," I told her, and she lowered her head, avoiding me, then turned toward the doctor.
They stepped aside and began speaking quietly. Liam watched us shyly but never came closer.
Then my attention went back to them. The door opened with Gabriel's presence, and Fabiola looked at him.
"Are you going to put them in jail?" she asked.
"You already know that won't happen."
At his answer, I froze.
He never wanted to help me. He never even tried.
He came closer and knelt down to my height.
"Are you an idiot?" my mother asked him, and he turned angrily.
"We'll talk at home, not here."
He turned back to me.
"They will never come near you again, I promise," he said while looking into my eyes, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't believe his words. "But you can't say anything, understand?"
He would definitely never be my father.
Because I would know how mine would have done it.
"Do you understand?"
I stayed silent while looking at him.
I was a child, but I wasn't stupid.
I wouldn't forget anything.
Definitely not.
Especially his words.
Why did I expect so much from him?
"You shouldn't talk to her about that. It's recent. It's not good for her," the doctor commented, and Gabriel stood up and left me. There wasn't anything on his face—not even the slightest bit of importance toward me.
"Now I understand why my father never loved you," Sebastián said, and Gabriel stepped toward him.
"Don't you dare touch him," Fabiola said, and Gabriel turned to her. "Just leave."
"What are you saying?"
"Stop pretending you care," she added.
"Now you have morals?" he asked, stepping closer to her.
He gave me the same feeling of fear as they did.
"Don't compare me. I didn't know what you were doing, and I regret it."
"You better shut up," he said, pointing at her.
"I'm divorcing you, and I'm keeping custody of the kids."
I opened my eyes and looked at Sebastián. We looked at each other at the same time.
"Stop talking nonsense. You're not leaving me and you're not taking anyone, because I'm the one who has the blood relation."
"One day I'll be able to do it and give my children peace."
When she said that, a knot formed in my throat. Everything bad I thought about her disappeared, and everything good about him vanished too.
"Don't be a hypocrite. You never wanted kids."
"Yes, I know. But they appeared, and even if I wasn't always perfect, I do love them. And this hurts me. I'm going to protect them from anyone—from you and from anyone who tries to hurt them."
Yes.
You could see it in people.
And somehow, it made me feel happy.
I felt happy to have her as my new mom, and I was sure my first mom had sent her.
"How will you take care of them? With what money?" he asked, knowing she didn't work.
"One day I'll earn money and take them far away," she answered almost shouting, and he got fed up.
"You know what? Do whatever you want. But you and I both know that will never happen," Gabriel said finally, slamming the door on his way out.
I looked to the side and Liam had moved closer to me. He was standing beside the couch and placed his hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything. He just did it.
"You should leave. She needs to rest," the doctor said, looking at my mom.
She nodded, touching her head, exhausted.
"I know you'll protect her, especially her. So whether you're with him or not, love her with all your heart. And don't leave him aside either… the three of you need each other."
"Thank you," my mother whispered.
"She won't get pregnant. She hasn't had her first period yet, so it's almost impossible. She just needs to take the pain medication and this too," she added, handing her a sheet.
Fabiola took it and nodded again.
If women menstruated from the time they were babies, there would be pregnant girls who don't even know who they are.
And even then… someone would have already touched them.
"Is he your son, right?" my mother asked.
"Yes. He's twelve, but he grows too fast because of his father," the doctor answered with a small smile.
She turned to look at him.
So did I.
And he was looking at me.
"Could you check on her every week? While she heals…" my mother asked.
"Of course, ma'am."
And then, without realizing it, they became my safe place.
The day I met the woman who healed me with such gentleness, I found a mother I could trust.
Sebastián's protection.
And Liam… who began to grow with me, as if his only mission was to never leave me alone.
I had lost something important in my life.
But I knew I would never again stay lying on the floor.