Chapter 123
Ciel
Eventually, I calm down.
Forcefully.
My hands stop trembling before my heartbeat does. I sit at the small kitchen table, elbows on my knees, head hanging. The plastic bag lies crumpled on the floor beside me like some defeated creature that barely survived the storm in my chest.
Nolan hovers near the doorway—close enough to reach me if I fall apart, far enough to give me space if I need to pretend I'm fine.
"I'm okay," I say, even though my voice betrays me with a crack.
He doesn't believe me. He sits across from me with Lanny on his lap, patting our son's back in slow circles. Lanny is quiet now, watching me with big, wet eyes—eyes too perceptive for a child.
Guilt slices straight through me.
I force myself upright.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
Nolan shakes his head. "Don't do that. Don't apologize."
