Auto-save is the greatest invention in the world.
When Tami and Elsa finally fought their way through countless dangers and made it inside Sen's Fortress, they were warmly welcomed by the interior and promptly received a Game Over.
Then they made a shocking discovery.
When they revived, they were right outside the fortress gate.
Tami was so moved he nearly cried. Something disturbingly close to gratitude toward Sein began forming in his chest.
Was this Stockholm Syndrome?
He had already started the internal brainwashing:
"The trap design in Sen's Fortress is actually quite reasonable."
"If I can't get through, I'm simply not trying hard enough."
"Once I clear it, the sense of accomplishment will be extraordinary."
It couldn't be helped. In a hellish place like this, people needed something to hold onto.
Before clearing a Sein-area dungeon:
"This is garbage. A disgusting map designed purely to be difficult, made to satisfy the creator's twisted sense of humor with complete disregard for the people actually inside it."
After clearing a Sein-area dungeon:
"Another masterpiece, meticulously crafted. Through it, I felt an uplifting spirit and an indomitable will."
"Keep going! I can feel it — the light of victory is just ahead!"
Tami encouraged both himself and Elsa with equal conviction.
The difficulty, however, had multiplied upon entering the fortress proper.
The original traps were all still present — and they had been joined by new additions so absurd they bordered on comedic. Collapsing ceilings. Serpent-men hurling grenades from both sides of the path. Banana peels hidden along the walkway with what could only be described as malicious intent.
And the pathways had narrowed.
Before, there had been enough room to throw themselves flat on the ground if needed. Now, a single person could barely fit. Lean even slightly too far to one side and the abyss was waiting.
Then a new mechanic emerged.
Some traps were designed to wound rather than kill outright — but whenever one person took a hit, the other person's path narrowed in response. Avoid a trap successfully, and the other person's path widened. They were constantly being made responsible for each other, and one mistake didn't just hurt the person who made it. It could turn a manageable road into a tightrope for their companion.
Tami gave it everything he had. Mistakes were still unavoidable.
He apologized so many times his mouth went numb.
Just how long is this going to last?
If there were a feedback system, he would submit a single giant character for "MISERABLE," followed by:
[I want to leave. I really, genuinely want to leave.]
Pendulums, iron balls, spinning blades —
He was becoming numb to all of it.
He started wondering, idly and against his better judgment, whether there were any new traps still to come.
The moment that thought crossed his mind, something new appeared on the path ahead.
A plump white shape.
An onion?
No.
A person. Wearing armor that bore an uncanny resemblance to an onion. Sitting directly on the path, fast asleep.
By the time Tami registered any of this, he had already accelerated through a section of swinging blades and had absolutely no way to stop.
"Waaaah!"
"Ahhh—!"
They collided. Both cried out.
The difference was that Tami fell off the cliff.
The Onion Knight staggered, found his footing, and stood there perfectly fine.
"What kind of nonsense is this?!"
Death. Revival. Retry.
[Siegmeyer of Catarina apologizes for causing your fall. Please accept this gift as an expression of his regret.]
[Obtained: Tiny Life Ring]
"What is this supposed to be…"
Tami desperately wanted to lodge a formal complaint about whatever design philosophy had produced this armor. The onion shape wasn't ugly, exactly. It was even — somewhat against his will — kind of endearing. But he still couldn't fully accept it.
Though… I was the one who ran into him, and he's the one apologizing. Seems like a decent person.
After fighting his way through the traps once more and returning to the same spot, Tami found the Onion Knight on his feet this time. The moment Siegmeyer spotted him approaching, he came forward with genuine enthusiasm, his body sliding across the ground in that peculiar way.
"I am Siegmeyer of Catarina! Wahaha! It has been quite a long time since I've seen another soul. Let us travel together!"
"You see those iron balls rolling about over there? I am, as you may have noticed, rather plump — my reactions leave something to be desired. I would greatly appreciate a warning when danger is approaching."
A resonant narration filled the air:
[Siegmeyer of Catarina has joined the party. Guide him through the dangers ahead, and you will earn his gratitude.]
Tami hadn't expected to encounter a phantom-style event in this bizarre painted world. Even Elsa looked surprised.
Well then. I'll accept this quest.
He quickly discovered that the quest was considerably harder than it sounded.
Whenever traps appeared, he now had to react himself and simultaneously formulate clear instructions for Siegmeyer to perform the same actions. There was barely enough margin to keep himself alive through these traps, let alone shepherd an adorably clumsy Onion Knight through them at the same time.
Even so — whenever Siegmeyer made a mistake, he apologized immediately and without complaint. And when Tami failed, Siegmeyer never criticized him. He simply encouraged him and kept moving.
His presence changed something in the atmosphere.
Tami found himself growing fond of the round knight faster than he would have expected.
"Slow down ahead — slow down! Too late, crap—!"
Failure. Retry.
When they met again at the start, Tami and Siegmeyer simultaneously bowed their heads toward each other.
"Sorry! My directions weren't clear enough!"
"Sorry! I reacted far too slowly!"
"Pfft."
From her side of the abyss, Elsa watched the two of them and couldn't help it — she laughed.
Tami looked up and caught Siegmeyer's eye.
Neither of them burst out laughing.
They exchanged a fist bump.
Among men, a fist bump meant the friendship had leveled up.
In the brief windows between traps, the two talked. Siegmeyer described lands beyond Sen's Fortress — the Firelink Shrine, the Undead Burg, Catarina — and through his stories, those places gradually took on the texture of somewhere real. The history of the world stopped feeling distant and started feeling alive.
"Mr. Siegmeyer, do you know the story of this place?" Tami asked.
Sen's Fortress and Sein Dungeon sounded far too similar for coincidence, and it was the kind of question he couldn't leave unasked.
Siegmeyer thought for a moment.
"This place was built by the gods as a trial for the Undead. Only those who pass through it earn the right to advance further. Ah… personally, I have never been especially fond of places like this."
"A trial for the Undead…"
Tami murmured it quietly, half to himself.
Nobody could tell exactly what was running through his head. But judging by his increasingly bright eyes and the slight trembling that had begun working through his body, he had clearly started building elaborate theories — each one grander and more involved than the last.
He was, in short, overthinking things again.
Watching the two of them chatting with easy familiarity, Elsa pouted.
Since the Onion Knight had joined them, Tami's attention had been considerably less focused on her. She was not particularly happy about this.
Even so, something Siegmeyer said every so often would catch her completely off-guard and make her laugh in spite of herself. It was impossible to genuinely dislike the man.
For instance —
"Do you think we'd move faster if we rolled along the ground?" Siegmeyer asked, with the tone of someone raising a perfectly reasonable logistical question.
"I really don't think that's a good idea…"
Tami had come to understand that Siegmeyer occasionally produced questions so strange it was impossible to determine whether he was joking or entirely sincere. Cold sweat reliably followed. Whenever it happened, Siegmeyer would break into a rich, rolling laugh — clearly pleased with himself for having landed the reaction he was after.
Inside the Lord's Chamber, Wade observed the scene in quiet satisfaction.
Elsa and Tami were making solid progress. The fact that Elsa was pouting because the Onion Knight was drawing attention away from her was already a significant development.
He set the recording going and took a short nap.
When he woke up, three hours had passed.
He checked the screen.
The trio had reached the finish line. All three lay spread flat on the ground, panting, staring at nothing. Their eyes were completely empty.
"Thank you for your help. I, Siegmeyer of Catarina, offer you my sincere gratitude."
The Onion Knight rose with quiet solemnity and presented his reward.
[Force]
A famous miracle of Catarina that releases a shockwave forward.
The people of the land known for virtue and cheer are straightforward by nature. When they become angry, they do not endure it — they simply act.
"Oh…"
Tami accepted the scroll with whatever energy he had left. He wasn't even sure his Intelligence stat was high enough to use it. Beyond that, the rewards also included a [Piercing Shield], several Large Souls of the Undead, and a collection of beautiful gemstones that looked worth selling.
Generously rewarded, all things considered.
Watching Siegmeyer prepare to leave, Tami asked:
"Where are you headed next, Mr. Siegmeyer?"
"Anor Londo, most likely. The city of the gods — you may have heard of it. Perhaps we'll cross paths there someday. Hahaha!"
Anor Londo.
A thought stirred. Could that be a hint about a future area in Sein Dungeon?
"…Forget it. I'm too tired to think."
He dropped back onto the ground and watched Siegmeyer walk toward the end of the fortress. The Onion Knight pushed open the sealed gate. Blinding sunlight poured through the gap, cutting into the fortress's darkness, and a familiar teleportation effect shimmered into view.
At long last, they could leave this painted hellscape.
[Obtained Items: Goddess's Blessing ×2, Candle Headpiece ×2, Titanite Shard, Large Titanite Shard]
The rewards stopped registering.
All he wanted was sleep.
Before drifting off into what he could only describe as an onion-shaped slumber, one final thought surfaced:
I wonder how the captain and the others are doing right now…
On the other side of the Catacombs of Carthus, Luluwo's group had made their own progress.
They had taken a completely different route from Tami's party and yet arrived at the same destination, entering the darkness-shrouded lower region through their own path. That made three confirmed routes leading to the lower level of the Catacombs — though only Tami's route had passed through the Pinwheel and unlocked the secret Flame-Kindling Ritual.
"That's enough for today. Let's rest and head back," Luluwo said, rolling her shoulders. "Once we're out, we find the people who got separated. No more accidents."
The Group settled into a well-earned rest.
Then an uninvited guest arrived.
[Invaded by "IDontLikeRosemary"]
An invader.
Most people would have been immediately on guard.
The Group couldn't quite manage the energy to stand up.
The invader materialized with murder in his eyes — a pair of poison-coated daggers, a repeating crossbow at his hip, throwing knives loaded and ready. Repeating crossbows had become standard equipment among the invader community lately, and the premium setup even included sleep-inducing bolts. There was no reading this person as anything other than a genuine threat.
The moment he spotted Luluwo, his eyes sharpened and he moved toward her with purpose.
Luluwo watched him approach without any particular expression.
Closer.
Still closer.
Then —
Thump.
The invader dropped to both knees in front of her.
"Boss Luluwo! I've been looking for you all day!" he cried, sounding genuinely pitiful. "I got killed multiple times just trying to find you!"
"Skip the dramatics. Why were you looking for me?"
Luluwo crossed her arms. Her expression was about as warm as a stone wall — which was fitting, since people who knew her history tended to forget that the great invasion era of Bedford City had begun with her own hand. She no longer worked as an invader herself, but her influence within that community had never faded. She had effectively retired, which meant only the veterans remembered — and those veterans had once been helped by her and reliably passed important information her way ever since.
Her network was vast. That was consistently how she compiled strategy guides before anyone else. Dungeon exploration wasn't purely about strength. It was about connections.
The invader wasn't discouraged by her coldness.
If anything, he looked more excited.
"Someone put out a bounty — they want us to invade your group and slow down your progress. They were watching me the whole time during the invasion. I played along just so I could come warn you." He grinned. "Want to guess who it was?"
"The Mercenary Corps."
"How did you know?! As expected!"
He laughed, unable to help himself, and licked the blade of his dagger out of sheer habit.
"Everyone's already heard about it. The whole community is planning to give those mercenaries a lesson they won't forget. We've got disguises ready to go, hundreds of sleep bolts stockpiled, and the newly developed Bloodhound's Step and Ironjar Aromatic on hand. Want in?"
The members of the Group reacted according to their natures.
Berto shook his head with a quiet sigh.
Mira clapped her hands together and laughed.
Ais looked extremely interested.
Luluwo smiled.
She reached out and patted the invader on the shoulder.
"One thing," she said, with complete sincerity.
"There's poison on your dagger."
"Huh?"
[Invader Has Died!]