Chapter 334: Small World
"Good morning, Ron! I swear, I'm going to write a complaint letter to Colgate. This toothpaste I bought has a weird taste today!"
The next morning, Sheldon woke up to find Ron already sitting on the apartment sofa. He wasn't surprised; Ron had been doing this almost every day since moving in, and he was used to it by now.
"Oh? Really? Weird how, exactly? Does the taste seem a little familiar?" Ron's expression was somewhere between amusement and mischief.
Sheldon paused to consider: "It really does! I remember even premium toothpaste occasionally having this odd flavor. It must be something wrong with their manufacturing equipment. Yes, that must be it! I'll write a complaint letter right now!"
As everyone knows, Sheldon hates change, so ever since he could remember, he's used the same brand of toothpaste.
And because of Mary's standing order of "Don't hit Sheldon," Ron would always grab Sheldon's toothbrush and scrub the toilet with it whenever Sheldon annoyed him.
Of course, this time was no different, which is why Sheldon found the taste in his mouth both familiar and strange.
Ron tried calling Caroline and Max several times, but as if they'd coordinated, neither of them answered.
"Please, God, for the sake of my mom's church donations, can you let me keep at least one of them?"
Ron prayed half-heartedly, but if Mrs. Mary knew her son was using her relationship with the Lord to pray like this, she'd want to strangle him.
Although Ron's calls went unanswered, Leonard's phone kept buzzing.
"Sheldon, can you believe it?" Leonard looked at his screen: "Phil got arrested by the cops for unpaid parking tickets."
"Oh, Phil!" Sheldon sighed: "He's my seventh friend, my favorite person at the comic book store besides you guys."
"Phil? Which Phil?" Ron asked, taking off his headphones when he heard the familiar name.
"Phil Dunphy, a friend we met at the comic book store Sheldon and I go to. He's a married realtor with a son and two daughters. He often brings his son to the comic shop; he's a really nice guy. If I ever decide to buy a house, I'll definitely go through him."
Ron stood up in surprise: "Sheldon, you actually know Phil? Phil Dunphy?!"
It's pretty common for people in America to share the same first name—about as common as sharing a last name would be elsewhere—but it's rare for both the first and last names to match.
Ron never expected that, even though he'd never introduced Sheldon to the Pritchett family, and Sheldon's impression of them was probably still limited to childhood memories, Sheldon would somehow know Phil.
But thinking about it, it wasn't that strange.
Both of them are nerds, but the difference in their intelligence has led to very different lives, and they both happen to love comics. Ron had even seen an entire bookcase full of graphic novels when he visited Claire's house last time.
"Should I be honored to know him? He's just an ordinary realtor," Sheldon muttered irritably. "I think he should be honored to know a brilliant scientist like me."
"Really? You still don't know who he is? He's your cousin Claire's husband! Remember that girl I brought to your lab last time? That's his daughter," Ron looked at Leonard. "What did you just say? What was he arrested for?"
"Unpaid parking tickets. He'll be released as soon as he pays the fine."
"I bet I'm about to get a call." Ron's words were barely out when his phone rang. He looked down and, sure enough, it was Claire. "Hey Claire, I bet you want me to pick Phil up for you, right? Even though just three hours ago you were trying to get me to teach Alex how to drive."
"Damn it! How did you know about Phil?"
"You'll have to ask Luke. He just posted on Instagram with the caption: 'My dad's in jail' and attached a picture of Phil being arrested," Ron glanced at Leonard's phone. "He and Sheldon happen to be friends on social media. I had no idea they'd met at the comic book store without knowing each other's identities and became friends."
"No, just acquaintances."
Ron selectively ignored Sheldon's correction.
"Okay, could you pick up Phil and Luke for me? Then we can all meet at my dad's house. Today is Joe's first birthday, you remember?"
Joe is the son of old man Pritchett and his younger wife Gloria. To prevent the little guy from showing any signs of his older brother's... tendencies, Jay even hired a male nanny to take care of him.
Hopefully this kid won't follow the same path as his brother. Although there's a lot of talk about being progressive in America these days, it's mostly performative. The upper class doesn't really care about it—they just pay lip service while focusing on the bottom line.
Pritchett's furniture store recently launched a special Pride collection of furniture.
"Of course I remember!" Ron emphasized.
Actually, he didn't remember. These past two days, because of the drama with Caroline and Max, Ron had been a mess and completely distracted. How could Ron hide his guilt from Claire?
"Okay, I knew you wouldn't remember anything. You go pick up Phil and Luke for me, and I'll take care of your gift for Joe, how about that?" Claire offered a deal, and Ron readily agreed.
At the Pritchett house, Manny, the stepson from Gloria's first marriage, sat on the stairs by the door, anxiously waiting for his crush to come pick up the jacket she'd left at his house yesterday.
However, Jay wasn't optimistic about his chances: "Gloria, I'm looking at Manny's yearbook, and I found several girls he might actually have a shot with."
"Hey! You really don't think he'll succeed? He just told me a really romantic plan, and I think his chances are better than you think."
"Ha!" Jay scoffed. "I really wish you had a picture of Manny's heart, so that after it breaks, you could help him piece it back together."
"Ding-dong~"
"I'll get it!" The doorbell rang, and Manny rushed over before Jay could even get up from his chair.
However, upon opening the door, instead of the beautiful classmate he was pining for, he was greeted by two even more beautiful... young women?
"Hello, we're from Max's Homemade Cupcakes, happy birthday~"
(End of Chapter)
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