Chapter 383: Playing Tricks on Leonard
At the window of Max's Cupcake Shop in Williamsburg, Max and Caroline clasped hands: "Please God, don't let us get murdered here, Amen~"
"Excuse me, did I disturb your prayers? That's your prayer? It's quite unique. How's business lately?" The window was pushed open, and Ron greeted them with a smile.
"With our fusion-style cupcakes, we can afford three-ply toilet paper now, so if you're asking how business is, I think it's pretty good. I didn't expect you to come at this time. What are you doing? Walking the apes at the zoo?" Max pointed at Leonard, who was following behind, and was as sarcastic as ever.
However, her analogy was quite apt, because Leonard's sweater was so suffocating that he kept scratching himself even while walking, looking exactly like a gorilla that had just escaped from the Bronx Zoo.
"That's Leonard. We're just about to return some DVDs." Ron pointed to the bicycle by the door. "Have you started your delivery service yet? Could you deliver twenty cupcakes to the physics department at Caltech tomorrow? I have a feeling something interesting will happen tomorrow."
"Max, that's a great idea! We can start a delivery service with that beat-up bicycle! Why don't we ever do delivery?"
"You're talking about yourself, aren't you? I've done 'door-to-door service' before." Max was referring to her and Ron's hookups.
"Seriously, Max, delivery service is big business! Nobody goes out these days, everyone's glued to their phones. Ron's idea is brilliant." Caroline's eyes lit up as she spoke.
"Indeed." Ron agreed. He had witnessed the booming development of the food delivery industry in his previous life. When the tech giants were competing, they almost monopolized the lunches of nearly 80% of office workers.
Although the situation in different countries varies, and the same model might not perfectly replicate, it doesn't mean that starting a food delivery service is a bad idea. In fact, Max had done this a few times before, but only for large corporate clients.
"Leonard, would you be interested in making me a mobile app that can optimize delivery routes based on orders?"
"Of course, but can we hurry up? I can't take it anymore." Leonard urged, scratching frantically inside his clothes.
No wonder Leonard was in such a rush; the yarn in that sweater was truly awful—coarse, stiff, and prickly, making it itchy and painful against his skin, like being swarmed by hundreds of fire ants.
"OK, OK, no problem. Goodbye, my beauties!" Ron blew kisses and waved goodbye to the two women, making Leonard incredibly envious.
But this envy was just wishful thinking; he barely had time for Penny, let alone other women.
However, poor Leonard couldn't fulfill his wish; the video rental store was closed.
So, until the next day, in the Caltech lab, Howard and Raj were still gossiping about Leonard's bizarre behavior.
"Ron, you're finally here! It's such a shame you weren't here this morning." Raj was the first to greet Ron as soon as he entered the office.
"Really? Did I miss something good?"
Raj's eyes were full of gossip. "All morning, Leonard was like a grizzly bear in the woods, rubbing his back against every pillar you could see on campus. Your two girlfriends just brought over some cupcakes, want one?"
They had already heard about Sheldon and Leonard's bet. If Leonard kept wearing that sweater until the DVDs were returned, Sheldon promised that no matter what happened afterward, he would never nitpick about anything with the group again.
Given Sheldon's reputation for keeping his word, no one would doubt that Sheldon would break his promise, which was a huge relief for the others who had suffered under his tyranny.
"Of course," Ron took a cupcake. "Maybe Yogi Bear just came out of hibernation and needed to stretch. What do you guys think of the taste?"
"Incredible!" Rajesh exclaimed excitedly. "I swear, this is the best cupcake I've ever eaten in my life, especially the base. Unlike other cupcakes that are soft and spongy, this one is crispy, with a croissant-like texture, but even richer!"
Ron glanced at the number of cupcakes left in the box. In just one morning, the four of them had almost finished twenty cupcakes. It seemed that this product was indeed very popular.
"If you like them, I'll have the cupcake shop send over a few more tomorrow. You can also share some with the other offices. Of course, if they like them, don't forget to remind them that these cupcakes are sold downtown not far away."
Ron was advertising for Max's shop.
Just then, the laboratory door was suddenly pushed open, and Leonard stormed in, his eyes immediately locking onto Sheldon, who was standing in front of the whiteboard, deep in thought.
"Sheldon! I spent the whole afternoon finally tracking down the owner of that video store, and I'm happy to announce that he died peacefully in his sleep—that is, he drowned in his own pool while drunk."
Leonard slammed a death certificate in front of Sheldon. "Anyway, there's nowhere to return this DVD now, so the problem is perfectly solved."
After saying that, Leonard ripped off his red sweater and threw it on the ground, revealing skin covered in angry red welts, whether from the sweater or from scratching himself. "But I want to make one thing clear: although this sweater was torture, I didn't use that as an excuse to complain to anyone around here."
"If the owner is dead, you can return it to his next of kin, right?" Ron suddenly interjected with a wicked grin.
"I already said, it's all over!"
"That sounds like a reasonable suggestion." Sheldon and Ron exchanged glances, the two brothers working together to torment Leonard once again.
"Oh my God!"
Leonard cried out in despair, but Ron thoughtfully picked up the sweater from the ground and handed it back to Leonard. "I think you dropped this, Leonard."
"FUCK." Leonard screamed in anguish again.
"Or, you can choose to give up and end this," Ron chuckled mischievously. "Of course, if you do that, you'll have to allow Sheldon to continue being a pain in the ass whenever something bothers him."
Leonard weighed the two options and could only put the sweater back on as if being tortured, sit down at the computer, and start searching for information about the shop owner's relatives.
"Come on, smile, Leonard." Ron chuckled and took a picture of his miserable expression.
Howard asked curiously, "Ron, why are you taking a picture?"
"To send it to Princeton University, of course, to get back the tuition he wasted."
"WHY?" Rajesh sensed something was amiss.
Ron glanced at Sheldon and shrugged. "Come on, Leonard, use your brilliant mind as a world-class physicist to think about this. Since when has Sheldon, with his OCD, been able to remain so calm about a DVD that hasn't been returned on time?"
"Isn't it because of that bet he made with Leonard?" Rajesh asked doubtfully.
Sheldon didn't even look up, continuing his calculations: "That's what I wanted you to think."
"What?!" Leonard finally realized something was off, but he still couldn't figure out what it was.
Okay, these nerds~
Ron sighed: "Leonard, let me ask you, what if that shop owner didn't have any relatives, or if his relatives were all in war-torn or hostile areas like Syria, Iraq, or North Korea? What were you going to do? Continue wearing that ridiculous sweater and fly there to return the DVD?"
"I'm not going to Syria or Iraq to return a Super Mario Bros. DVD!" Mentioning this made Leonard go into a frenzy again, scratching his skin, which was burning from the sweater, as he stormed up to Sheldon.
"Why do you seem so indifferent to this?! Doesn't it bother you? This was borrowed with your card, it could ruin your credit score, why isn't this driving you crazy?"
"Leonard, I have something to say to you." Sheldon finally put down his marker and turned around: "But I want you to promise me, like I just did, you won't freak out."
"What is it?"
Sheldon asked calmly: "Three years ago, when I discovered the DVD wasn't returned on time, I paid to buy it outright."
"What?!" The three of them exclaimed in unison, except for Ron, because he was the one who drove Sheldon to handle it.
"I was going to tell you then, but Ron told me that maybe one day this could teach you a valuable lesson."
"Damn it... ）￥#@&" Leonard angrily threw his sweater on the ground again, rushed to the lab's mini fridge, grabbed two ice packs, and pressed them against himself, finally letting out a sigh of relief:
"Sheldon, are you even human?! And you, Ron, I've never done anything to you, why did you join Sheldon in screwing with me?"
"Really? Do I need to remind you?" Ron stood up and looked down at Leonard with a sinister smirk, making Leonard involuntarily take a step back. "It was about three years ago, when I first moved here. One night, Sheldon thought he was sick and asked you to take a throat culture for him. I happened to be there.
You lied to me and said that the cookies I ate were made by you using the container Sheldon used to collect urine samples, which made me throw up all night. But actually, they were homemade cookies that Penny had just brought back from Nebraska. Do you remember that? (See Chapter 84)"
"I..." Ron's reminder brought back a flood of memories for Leonard. "I thought you had forgotten."
"How could I? We Coopers are always the most vengeful. Now we're even, hahaha The way you were scratching yourself in that sweater was hilarious. I'm going to send a copy to Penny too, hahaha"
Ron laughed and headed out.
After he'd been gone for a while, Howard cautiously glanced at the door to make sure Ron wouldn't return before muttering to Raj with lingering fear, "My God, Ron was terrifying. Luckily, I haven't offended him. Rajesh, have you offended Ron?"
"No, I don't think so," Rajesh thought for a moment and said smugly, "Even if I had, considering I helped him propose last time, Ron definitely wouldn't dare prank me. He'd be thanking me constantly!"
Thankfully, Ron was already gone and hadn't heard Rajesh's foolish words, otherwise he would have definitely repaid him on the spot.
Heaven knows how much trouble Ron caused because of that proposal.
Don't think that parents in Western countries don't pressure their children to get married; in reality, it's just a matter of degree. When it comes to marriage pressure, parents all over the world are the same. He went to great lengths to finally get Mrs. Cooper to agree to get engaged within a year, and then discuss marriage after Collins graduates.
There was still plenty of time for Ron to figure things out.
At the entrance of Caltech, Hobbs had been waiting for a while. "Ron, you're finally out."
"I couldn't help it, it's a show I've been waiting for, you had to let me see it through," Ron hugged Hobbs. "If I remember correctly, I just cleaned up the mess for your CIA in Europe, and the nukes have already been handed over. The money from selling those nuclear devices was my personal income, and I absolutely will not give it to you."
Ron stared warily at the muscular man in front of him.
"No, no, no, you misunderstood, I didn't intend to ask you for that money." Hobbs quickly waved his hand. "I came to see you for something else."
"A new problem?" Ron asked tentatively, and Hobbs nodded.
"I knew it, but you should also know that the IRS and CIA are not subordinate to each other, so I don't have to take your orders."
"I know, but this is a special operation, and I want to hire you to participate in it in my personal capacity."
Ron thought about his increasingly thin wallet and decisively agreed: "That's fine, but the price..."
"We're willing to offer ten million!" Hobbs quickly said, afraid that Ron would change his mind if he waited any longer.
"Ding~"
Ron's eyes immediately turned into dollar signs, and Hobbs seemed to hear the crisp sound of a cash register.
"Okay, what's the problem? Tell me?"
"This is the mission brief," Hobbs handed over the folder he had already taken in his hand: "Not long ago, an unknown biological weapon that could forever alter the fate of mankind was lost during a transport mission by MI6, and all the escort team members were killed..."
"Stop, stop, stop!" Ron suddenly interrupted Hobbs: "What did you just say?"
"Not long ago..."
"Stop, not that part, the part before that." Ron interrupted Hobbs again.
Hobbs tentatively asked, "We're willing to pay ten million?"
"Yes, that's it," Ron shook his head helplessly, "This job sounds way too dangerous, ten million won't be enough, we'll have to negotiate."
(End of Chapter)
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