"Oh My Gawd! Somebody call 911!" I hear the rare sound of a woman's voice, but for some reason it feels far away.
"Ugh what's happening? I groan and roll to the side.
"It's okay, I'm a doctor." Some dude gently grabs my arm. "Are you okay sir?" My eyes flutter and I see a handsome, blonde foreigner looking at me with concern.
"Is there…" I weakly grab his face.
"What is it?" He brushes the rain slicked hair out of my eyes.
"Is there a girl doctor?" I mumble as my vision fades once more.
—-
"Mr. Kobayashi, can you hear me?"
"Eugh." I open my eyes and are immediately blinded by a bright light.
"He's awake! Call Doctor Yoshida!"
My eyes began to focus and I'm met face to face with a pink haired dude wearing a sexy nursing outfit… like one people wear for Halloween. What is this BM doing?! He should at least be dressed appropriately in the workplace.
Wait… why am I at the hospital?
"Nurse Ito, what are you wearing?!" A tall man with dark hair and glasses enters the room, and yes, he is very handsome, as are all the doctors in this hospital I assume. Though, there may be one pervy old one that Ito's TM has to save him from. Especially if he goes around dressed like a pornstar all day.
"I thought this was the uniform sir, it's my first day." He blushes and looks at the ground.
Did he not go to nursing school? Has he never worn scrubs before?! Was this guy even qualified??? How could he think a Halloween costume was his uniform?!
"No shot." My mouth drops open, and they both look at me confused. "Uh… I mean, no! I don't like shots! Don't give me one!" Best to act like a wimp rather than let them know my true thoughts. That can be dangerous in this BL world.
Unfortunately, my quick thinking seems to backfire, as I see Doctor Yoshida get a concerning sparkle in his eyes. EUGH.
He blushes and pushes his glasses up with his index finger. "Nurse Ito, please fetch a tetanus shot for him, he must have one after being struck by lightning."
"Of fucking course I was struck by lighting," I burry my head in my hands. I had brought this on myself by taunting the BL Gods with my umbrella. Next time I guess I should just go without one, though that leaves me vulnerable to someone trying to share theirs with me, or drag me into a love hotel against my will so we can stay dry together. I shudder, just thinking about that gives me the creeps.
The doctor smirks and walks closer to my hospital bed. "What's wrong little Yuto, you need to have a big injection so you don't get sick."
"Huuuhhh?" Who is Yuto?! Also, I'm pretty sure he was talking about his dick when he said injection. Yuck. And also, "HUUUUHHH?!" WHO THE HELL IS YUTO?!
"Uhh, doctor," I ask, my voice wavers a bit. "Why are you calling me Yuto?"
"Is this not Yuto Kobayashi, age 16, one of the young men brought in that were suddenly struck by lightning?" He checks his clipboard and pushes glasses back up on his face. He should really get those things tightened, but I guess he wouldn't look as smart and cool if he wasn't touching them all the time.
"No. This is Satoshi Masuda, a 22 year old university student." Maybe he got the wrong room? It was hard to tell in this BL world. Also… isn't that a crime to be all pervy with me if he thought I was 16?! Eww! Some of these TM's need to be arrested.
He looks at me with concern. "Mr. Masuda is down the hall. He hasn't woken up yet, but we have confirmation that it's him."
"What?!" I screech.
Don't tell me I'm stuck in a body swapping trope?! I read a few BL's just like this (for research, obviously), but I didn't think it happened in reality. I mean, I guess it could be worse, I could have amnesia or something and have some guy start pretending to be my lover, or get transported to a weird fantasy world. Both of which would put my chastity at risk.
I imagined a beast man trying to have his way with me. "Eugh." Yeah, it could definitely be much worse. At least I'm actually in control of this body and live in a world with, you know, laws, though, swapping bodies with a high schooler is 100% NOT ideal!
"Doctor, I know it's not your job, but could you go get me some water?" I bat my eyelashes cutely. I need him out of the room ASAP so I can go confirm this horror for myself. My current theory is too weird to fully accept without concrete evidence.
"He is so cute and innocent~" Doctor Yoshida loudly mumbles to himself.
"Thank you so much Doctor!" I give him a fake smile and wait until he exits before sitting up and ripping out my IV. It hurts like a mother, but I get it out in one yank. Thankfully, it doesn't bleed too much.
I carefully peer into the hallway and check both ways for that nurse or pervy doctor, but thankfully it seems like the coast is clear. Despite this, I gingerly take a step out. You can't be too careful. I'm sure there are many TM's lining up to eat me while I'm in this weakened state. Afterall, if the doctor was acting like that then this Yuto guy must be pretty cute.
"Yuto, you're awake!" A larger boy pulls me into an embrace. "Why are you out of bed?!" He grasps my wrist with concern. "Doctor!"
"Shh…" I place my hand over his mouth and hurriedly check over my shoulder to see if the doctor is coming.
"Yuto, what's wrong?" He carefully pulls my hand off his mouth.
"I'm sorry… uhh," crap I don't know his name. "Babe?"
"Yuto! I didn't know you felt the same!" His eyes water and he hugs me tightly.
I messed up. It appears this Yuto boy is the I hate you, but I secretly love you type with an obsessive TM that has been secretly (blatantly) pining for him. What is that called… Hmm. Ah, now I remember. He's a tsundere! I just need to act like I hate this guy, which definitely wouldn't be too hard of a task.
"Tsk! Get… get off of me you idiot. I… I thought you were someone else." I roughly shove him away. "I'm going to the bathroom, so don't follow me."
"Yuto! You can't go by yourself! You're hurt!" He grabs my arm so we can have a dramatic hallway moment, and I easily free myself from his grasp.
"Watch me." I flip him off and storm down the hallway, glancing back to make sure he's not following before turning down the corner.
"Heh, this acting job's not too hard." I rub my nose, feeling proud of myself for how I handled that situation. It seems all my efforts avoiding BL's had trained me into a grade A actor, which is good, because now I had to pretend to be a doctor.
I sneak into the storage closet.
"Doctor House, you're so tight~"
"Wils… AHH~"
To my horror, I walk in on a not too surprising, but still disgusting sight! Next to the coat rack are two old men going at it like animals. I think one of them was crippled too! What kind of hospital allowed this behavior?! Shaking my head, I grab one of the discarded lab coats and gently shut the door.
They probably wouldn't have noticed me even if I opened the door loudly with the way they were going at each other, but I opened it carefully just in case an incident like this was ensuing. Truth be told, I half expected to walk in on that nurse taking it from the pervy doctor, though I'm sure they were just rendezvousing in a different location, unfortunately.
"Eww, this reeks." I put on the stolen lab coat fish around in the pockets for a clue as to where they were keeping my body, but the only thing I found was a crumbled up piece of paper and some white pills.
Meet me in the storage close for some medical malpractice <3 ~
"Ugh," I throw the note on the floor, those guys need to be fired.