After returning to the apartment and confirming there were no hidden listening devices I glared at a girl nestled amongst the pile pillows.
"And for the tenth time, Ruby, do not eat all the emergency rations! Or just stop buying those ridiculous chocolate chip cookies!"
Ruby, a girl with an appetite rivaling a small black hole, merely gave me a saccharine smile. "But they're so good, Sakuya-san! They make me happy!"
I sighed, already regretting the next sentence. "Oh yeah, Ruby. I will be going out again."
Her eyes lit up, immediately transitioning from innocent glutton to gossipy matchmaker. "Ooh, does Miss Sakuya have a date?"
My eye twitched. I felt the sudden urge to teleport her to an ice age. "No. It's more like… I have something I need to do."
"Sure~" she drawled, leaning back with a knowing smirk. "Tell yourself that."
Ignoring her was the best defense.
"Anyway, I have to go."
I stepped into the shadows of the room, my destination already locked: a certain high school where a certain boy named Shidou Itsuka was currently doing his best to survive.
The school rooftop was predictably desolate. Shidou Itsuka was conveniently leaning against the fence, perhaps contemplating the geometry of clouds.
I materialized a few feet behind him. "Hello there."
"Ah! Oh…" Shidou jumped, spinning around. The surprise melted into a slight flush. "S-sorry about that. Why are you here?"
Without answering, I closed the distance between us. My hand rose, and my fingertips gently cupped his cheek. His blush deepened instantly, coloring his ears.
"W-what are you doing?" he stammered, his voice tight with nervousness.
I didn't break eye contact as I used my thumb to locate the tiny, near-invisible ear piece stuck inside his ear canal. With a soft tug, I removed it, then crushed the small, high-tech device between my fingers, letting the fragments fall to the concrete.
"Our date," I stated simply.
Shidou stared at the ruined ear piece, then back at me. A moment of realization and perhaps a little resignation crossed his face. "Oh… Alright."
I grabbed his shoulder, the familiar blue light of a forced-teleportation enveloping us. "Let's go."
When the light faded, we were standing in the middle of a bustling, colorful amusement park. Shidou immediately stumbled, clutching his stomach and looking rather green.
"You okay?" I asked, perhaps a little too casually.
He managed a shaky thumbs-up, trying to steady his breathing.
"Hello Ze~ I am back, but don't tell the author, okay Ze~!"
"Also, there's going to be a crazy scene in the future, so look out for that, but don't tell the author, Ze~."
"Marisa, what are you doing!?"
"Oops! I have been caught! Got to go, reader, da ze~!" She flew away on a magical broomstick.
"MARISAAAA!!!"
Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Ruby was lounging on the sofa, mindlessly flipping through channels on the flat-screen TV.
"I want to go out, but Miss Sakuya won't let me," Ruby pouted.
Woof!
Zwei, a puppy, trotted over and began barking happily, pawing at her leg.
"Mhm… I mean, if you want to, I guess we can go out for a walk," Ruby conceded, her face brightening instantly.
Woof woof! Zwei barked with enthusiasm.
"Let's go!"
Ruby quickly snapped a leash onto Zwei's collar and headed for the door, remembering to lock up carefully on her way out.
Back at the park, Shidou had mostly recovered.
"So, uh… what would you like to eat?" he asked, trying to sound confident.
"Anything is fine," I replied.
'Okay, if a girl says anything is fine, then she wants something sweet,' Shidou thought, recalling a dating manual's advice. 'That's what the manual said!'
He promptly ran off toward a stall, leaving me alone.
Well, there are a lot of people watching, I mused, scanning the crowd.
It was true. My eyes caught a flash of white hair quickly taking cover behind a massive oak tree. Not far off, I felt the chilling presence of a clockwork spirit Kurumi observing us from a rooftop perch.
This date, if you can call it that…
"What are you thinking about?"
Shidou's voice interrupted my train of thought. He was back, holding a massive swirl of pink cotton candy.
"Thank you," I said, taking the cotton candy.
"Oh, would you like to check out the rides?" he asked, genuinely excited.
I agreed.
Back with Ruby, her peaceful walk was turning into a chase.
"Slow down, Zwei, you're too fast!" she yelped, trying to stop the energetic puppy from running off.
"Zwei, sit!"
The command worked. Zwei stopped instantly and sat, panting happily.
"We're just doing a walk, so we have to return before Miss Sakuya returns," Ruby lectured him, before continuing their stroll.
Woof! Woof woof!
Zwei suddenly stopped, sniffing the ground frantically, then barking excitedly toward an alley.
"Eh!? Zwei, what are you doing?"
Before Ruby could react, a strange blue light enveloped her. She disappeared in a flash, leaving Zwei alone, confused, and barking at thin air.
"That was fun, don't you think?" Shidou asked as the sun began to set, the park lights flickering on.
"It's alright. Anyway, I have to go home now," I said, starting to walk away.
"Wait!" he called out.
I stopped and turned. "Mhm?"
We met each other's eyes across the fading light.
"Next time… tomorrow?" he asked, a hopeful sincerity in his voice.
I chuckled softly. "Su—"
"This broadcasting is now being interrupted by Marisa!" She suddenly appeared, puffing out her chest mid-air.
"Marisa, get out!" I shouted, annoyed.
"Nope! Plus, as future " [Sakuya] " I will let you in on a secret! I will—"
A massive, shadowy hand the Author's shot down from the literal sky and grabbed Marisa mid-sentence, yeeting her across the void.
"WAAAAAAAA!!!"
"YEET!" a disembodied voice cheered.
"Perfect shot, Author-san," another voice the Narrator's complimented.
"Why, thank you," the Author's voice replied proudly. "Anyways, continue."
I turned back to Shidou, giving him a small, genuine smile. "Su—"
A small, frustrated sigh came from above. "But… we have to fix all the broken Fourth Walls first." The Narrator pointed at multiple, glaring cracks in the reality surrounding us.
"Huh? Hello?" a confused person from the broken wall looked in at the Author and Narrator.
"EH!?… MARISAAAAAAA!!!" the Author screamed in sheer panic.