The absolute devastation of London had reached its zenith. Down on the blood-soaked streets, Alucard summoned his vast legion, eradicating every single living soul that dared stand in his path.
"Ergh! Send in the reinforcements!" Enrico Maxwell's voice cracked with soaring panic. "Send in the Mexican Inquisition!"
DON DIEFO DELA VEGA wiped sweat from his brow, his hands trembling against the hilt of his weapon. "They expected us... they expected all of us!"
"Send in the Salvation Army!" Maxwell shrieked into his communicator.
ABBOT PUISER slouched against a crumbling ruin, utterly defeated. "Holy fuck, bros. This is what we get for sticking our necks out."
"Send in the forces of the temple Beth Zion!" Maxwell ordered desperately.
A random foot soldier piped up from behind a barricade. "They fucked off before the battle EVEN STARTED!"
Standing on a ridge overlooking the carnage, BARTIOMIEJ JELENIAK burst out into a loud, obnoxious snort. "Seriously, I can't believe they thought that we're going to help them," he said, laughing in Privileged. "That's for the Rhineland Massacres, you schmuck!"
"JEWWWWWWWWWWS!!" Maxwell roared at the sky, his sanity rapidly deteriorating.
Watching the spectacle unfold through a monitor, THE MAJOR chuckled softly. "It's hilarious in a mundane way, isn't it?"
"NO NO NO NO NO!" Maxwell screamed into his receiver.
THE DOCTOR blinked, adjusting his monocle. "What is, Herr Major?"
"NO NO NO NO NO!" Maxwell kept chanting in complete denial.
"That none of these... of this waffle muncher has never put it together that Alucard backwards is—" THE MAJOR began.
"DRACULAAAAAA!" Maxwell wailed.
THE DOCTOR scratched his chin awkwardly. "To be fair, how long did it take for us to figure that out?"
"A fair point," THE MAJOR conceded. "But we were very busy planning World War Three..."
"True..." THE DOCTOR nodded, scanning the live feed. "Also, I believe our forces are being quite literally slaughtered."
"HA! Who gives a shit? They're Nazis!" THE MAJOR scoffed dismissively.
Maxwell turned to his surviving honor guard, voice pitchy with terror. "All remaining forces! Fall back and protect your neo-Pope!" He scrambled inside his reinforced bulletproof glass enclosure. "Stupid demon zombies, claw away all you want! The only thing that can pierce my holy Pope box is the will of God himse—"
CLANG!
"Mhehahaha..."
Maxwell went pale as paper. "ANDERSON! FORGIVE!"
Father Alexander Anderson stepped through the shattered glass, blades drawn. "It is the sacred duty of the Iscariot organization to punish the demon, the heretic, and the false god."
Maxwell slumped to the floor, gasping for air. "ANDERSON, ANDERSON! I DON'T DESERVE THIS!"
"Also, you're a daft cunt," Anderson added dryly. "Sinners will be allowed no quarter. Kill them all, and let God sort them out."
He plunged his bayonet straight down. Gargle gargle...
Amidst the distant commotion of dying men, Seras Victoria watched the tide of shadow and crimson consuming the city.
"So... This is Restraint Level Zero, huh?" Seras asked quietly.
Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing took a drag from her cigar, staring into the dark abyss. "These are five hundred years' worth of souls that Alucard has consumed. After a while, he stopped actually killing people himself and started hanging around battlefields, letting others do it for him."
"How many souls has he—"
"Chowed down on?" Integra finished the thought. "Oh, two million. Oh, two million-ish. He calls it his... egh... #lifehack."
Seras let out a heavy, weary sigh. "He would."
Integra exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Sigh... ffff-- let's go welcome him back!"
Meanwhile, completely detached from the absolute hellscape in London...
Sakuya, Flandre, and Remilia were sitting comfortably off to the side.
"You know, this is nice," Remilia said, lifting a delicate porcelain cup and taking a sip of tea. "We are not actually doing anything, just sitting in the background. And if some jerk wants to fight us, Flandre got a new toy to play with. Not before long, our mission will be complete."
"Sister! I found this cat moving around!" Flandre piped up enthusiastically, trotting over while clutching a stray cat in her arms.
"Good for you," Remilia replied smoothly.
Sakuya turned her head slightly. "So we just wait here?"
"Yes," Remilia nodded.
Sakuya stepped forward to refill her mistress's tea.
[ Mission Accomplished ]
[ Reward: Reisen Udongein Inaba, Flandre Scarlet, Remilia Scarlet ]
"Well, that was quick," Remilia remarked.
Before anyone could say another word, a dimensional gap ripped open directly beneath them. Out from the void tumbled Hatsune Miku, immediately reaching her arms out, tackling Sakuya into a tight hug.
"I missed you so much!" Miku exclaimed with a playful smirk.
"Right..." Sakuya deadpanned, her face completely flat as everyone in the vicinity burst into laughter at her expense.
"With that being said..." Sakuya muttered, utilizing her speed to instantly teleport directly out of Miku's tight grip. "So what have you guys been doing?"
"Nothing much, we just helped Marisa with some things," Ruby chimed in.
[ Mission Updated ]
[ Sending user to DxD world ]
Sakuya felt the spatial pull anchor onto her soul. "Ugh... No rest for me?"
Flash!
She vanished into thin air.
Remilia stared at the empty space where her head maid had just been standing, looking immensely disappointed. "...I have lost my maid..."
Location: Kuoh Academy — School Grounds
"Sigh..."
I looked around the high school courtyard, feeling the weird shift in energy. Not wanting to deal with high school drama right now, I decided to teleport out of there, reappearing in front of a bustling fast-food restaurant down the street.
"I haven't eaten anything edible since arriving at that Hellsing world," I muttered under my breath.
My stomach growled. Acting quickly, I activated time stop, casually borrowed some local currency out of a passing passerby's wallet, and then resumed time.
Stepping up to the counter, I looked at the menu.
"Hello miss, what can I get for you?" the employee asked politely.
"Give me a Number 1 large, a Number 2 with extra fries, and a large cola," I said.
"That will be 1,500 yen."
"Here you are," I replied, handing over the stolen cash.
"Your order will arrive in 10 minutes," he said, handing me a receipt and a number.
I scanned the lobby, found an empty table in the corner, and sat down to wait.
'I am still in my Vampire Hunter form...' I thought to myself, adjusting my coat. Deciding it was too much of a hassle to change clothes right now, I stayed as I was.
Moments later, the waitress arrived and dropped off the heavy tray of food on my table.
"Thank you," I said smoothly.
"Eh!?" The waitress blinked, looking thoroughly confused.
"Oh," I realized my mistake immediately I had reflexively spoken in plain English. I cleared my throat and quickly switched to Japanese. "Thank you."
"Y-You're welcome!" she stammered, blushing slightly before scurrying off.
'I have been in Britain for too long. Luckily I still managed to order my food without completely slipping up,' I thought, picking up a burger and digging in.
However, I immediately sensed multiple gazes locking onto my position. Whispers echoed around the dining area.
"Wow... That lady is eating so beautifully," a guy two tables over whispered to his friend.
"Do you think she's single?" another murmured.
"Look at her clothes... Do you think she's cosplaying, or is she an actress?"
I ignored them and finished every last bite. Leaving a generous tip on the table, I stood up and walked out into the afternoon air.
I barely took three steps onto the sidewalk when a sudden pair of arms wrapped tightly around my waist from behind.
"Don't you think you can escape me!" Miku giggled, a mischievous grin plastered on her face.
"Scheiße!" I blurted out in pure surprise.
Miku gasped dramatically. "Hey! I can speak German and I won't have any of that language!" She leaned in close, pulling my head towards hers with a dangerous, playful smirk. "Unless... if you want some... roleplay~"
"Nope!" I shouted, bracing myself to stop time or teleport.
Before I could trigger my power, a uniform-clad officer stepped up, tapping his baton against his hand.
"Ma'am, this is a no-yuri sidewalk. Please go to the other side if you want to continue," the policeman said sternly.
"Eh!?" Both Miku and I yelled simultaneously.
Meanwhile, back inside the restaurant, a group of guys were watching the drama through the glass window.
"Damn it! Yuri!" one man sobbed into his napkin.
"At least it's hot," another guy said solemnly.
The entire restaurant turned and stared dead at him.
The guy crossed his arms defensively. "What! I like it! Hmph!"
I rubbed the back of my neck as the policeman kept glaring at us. 'What a weird world...'
A/n: miss me?