I had just left Jane's property and finally reached a place I could duck out of sight during the daylight hours. After the long trip around the United States, I was back in my borrowed home. Well, Martin's house… but it was mine now. I don't think he'd fight me for it. I still had the key, so I felt I still had a small claim on the place, even after so much time had passed since he offered it to me. I might want to check in with Martin, though. Just to let him know not to let anyone else come out this way. I wasn't sure how long I'd be staying.
I hoped it would be for a while. I felt a sense of… relief from the entity. I could feel that visions wouldn't be coming for a while. I couldn't explain, it… I just felt it.
I saw everything that happened at Cliff Cave, but I was just too late to help Bran. It was strange finding his body there, charred by the flames… I knew it was him, but he was almost unrecognizable. I put him aside for a few moments while I took care of things at the cave. I took some time and I finished dismembering that fucking bat. That thing was huge. I'd never seen anything like that in person… ever. I have to say that thing was weirder than me. My memory was a little fuzzy, but I think I might have seen a hand drawing of something like that, or something similar, in one of Carter's bestiaries. I made sure to rip it up into small enough pieces and shove it back down the dark entrance of the cave, and set it on fire. It burned quickly, almost like it was flammable itself. Once I was done, there wasn't a remnant left of the baby or the hulking mama-bat.
I finished cleaning the blood off myself in the river before taking Bran's body to his home. I knew they'd want to bury him. I didn't linger there long, only enough time to dig a small enough grave to keep the animals from getting what was left of him, but shallow enough that the other werewolves would smell him. They'd know it was Bran.
The fire had grown to massive proportions. I could smell the smoke from across town in the early morning hours after I left Bran and made my way to the safehouse. Emergency vehicles were making their way to Cliff Cave to deal with the spreading fire.
I knew the Chasses were smart, and it would only be a matter of time before they figured it out, or at least had an idea that it might have been me there. They'd realize it was me if Allen told them about the call he made. I had never told Allen or Eloise my name or who I was while I was with them. Yet, my methods were one of a kind and unmistakable. Not many things had my level of strength and brutality. Maybe he'd remain as silent as he had been, and they wouldn't figure it out. If they did, I'd let them have some time with their family before I put myself back into their lives. At least… that was my plan.
When I finally settled back at my borrowed home, I had showered and changed out of the rags of clothes that were left on me. I sprawled out across the slightly dusty bed and closed my eyes.
It had been a few days since I laid down, really cutting that groove into the mattress. The bat out of hell had been dealt with for about four days before I heard the sound of tires crunching around the corner of my road. The hum of the engine turning off the highway about a mile and a half up the road woke me from my slumber. The longer I listened to it, the more I realized that someone was coming to the safehouse.
Since I didn't think anyone would take me too seriously in the simple clothes I was wearing to sleep, I decided to put on the clothes I had stashed here before I started getting hammered with visions. They were coming up fast, and I didn't have time to pick out the cleanest set of clothes.
The large vehicle came to a crunchy stop right off the small road to what could be considered my driveway. I heard two sets of feet hop out, one only stepped forward toward my home a few feet, but the other shuffled around the vehicle to meet the other pair. Once together, they both walked up to my door without hesitation. The dirt and dried leaves crunched beneath the intruders. They paced up to the front door with calm but steadfast determination. Nothing was stopping them. A stern knock vibrated the front door ever so slightly. I curiously opened the door to this intruder like a trap door spider. The prey stood right outside of the predator's door, waiting to be snatched inside to their death.
When the door opened, the sunlight blasted into the darkened house, glaring behind the two figures on the porch. My eyes adjusted quickly to see very familiar and unexpected faces. It was Carter and Eleanor. There they stood on Martin's front porch. Eleanor looked at me happily, ready to close the distance for a hug, but I could tell she was trying to hold back… uncertain after so much time had passed. She had on a light black jacket with a hood hanging out of the back. Her clothes reminded me of how I usually skulked the shadows.
"Sam…" was all she said, with a joyful smile.
It was too unexpected. I wasn't ready for that quick event that woke me from my days-long nap. I froze for a moment; too many questions were invading my mind. How did they find me? What did they want? I think I started to look like a deer in headlights when I didn't say anything. I just stared at her for a few seconds.
"I hope this is alright," Carter said. "We were afraid that if we called, you wouldn't want to meet."
Carter was exactly like I remembered him to be up close. I had spent so much time away from all of them over the last ten months that I started to forget the little things about them. It was all coming back quickly, however.
"No, no, it's fine. I'm just… surprised, is all," I tried to adjust myself there in the door to act and seem more normal.
"Can we come in?" Eleanor asked seriously, motioning into the darkness of the safehouse.
I stepped to the side quickly, "Yeah, please come in," waving them inside.
Eleanor offered a thankful smile and walked right up to me at the door. She wrapped her arms around me quickly and unrestrained, "It's so good to see you again, Sam. It's been so long… I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see you again." She wasn't afraid of me at all. It was weird.
Carter, however, seemed more alert. His guard was up a little higher than Eleanor's. Yet, I could tell he wanted this to be a good meeting. I followed them in, walking into the familiar scent that lingered behind their backs. It was the aroma that filled their house, staining the fabric of their clothes. I loved it. It reminded me of a better time… of before everything happened and I fucked up at their house.
I closed the door behind me as I stepped away from the passageway. They were entirely alone with me, totally cut off from the world and any help it had to offer. I just looked at them for a moment as I tried to prepare myself for what they might say. How would I explain myself, the anger of that night, the unwillingness to help Eleanor, the outward flair of the monster creeping through, and my absolute absence from their lives for the past ten months? That was almost a full year.
Carter laughed, "Do you have any lights?"
"Oh, shit," I said under my breath as I reached for the switch by the door. "Sorry."
The room was lit up, and they could see me as much as I could already see them. Eleanor's dark hair flowed out from around her neck, swept over her left shoulder. She was still smiling at me softly. I could tell she had a lot she wanted to say.
"You don't need the lights to see, do you?" Carter asked curiously.
I stuttered in my response from all the years of hiding my true nature, "No… I can see in the dark just as well as in the light." I looked up, motioning towards the incandescent bulbs.
"What else can you do?" Eleanor asked innocently.
I wasn't sure how to start the list of monstrous capabilities, "A lot… unfortunately."
She nodded slowly like she was adding things to the list of oddities about me.
"This seems pretty different compared to your last place…" Carter noticed, looking around the lightly dusty and empty place. He had seen the filthy condemned factory where I used to live.
"Yeah, it is. It's nice to have somewhere to relax that isn't filthy and made of stone. Martin was pretty generous when he let me stay here," I said.
"No, he's not," Carter snorted. "If you saw where he actually lives, you'd think he's been holding out on you."
"Inside his bar?" I questioned.
"No," he shook his head informatively. "That's where he wants you to think he lives, just in case the wrong people come looking for him. His real place is much nicer than this. Not many people know about it."
I let out a smirk, "I see. Well, I guess I'm squatting now. It was a long time ago that he let me come out here. I haven't talked to him since I've been back in town."
We all stood in silence for a moment. I think they were trying to figure out what to say, or maybe just how to start. I think they were still trying to gauge my reaction.
"How did you find me?" I asked. "Allen?"
"Yeah," Carter answered, his eyebrows rising as he let out a sigh. "I knew where you were before. Once Allen told us he reached out to you, we figured you might still be around since you were staying here before. And also… Annabelle."
I realized that she had probably seen new voids in her sight around the city and helped Carter pinpoint my location.
Eleanor had a look on her face, as Carter spoke, that made me realize that not all had been made aware of my location or status when I was still here. She looked like she was still angry with him about it, but she hid it well. Carter must have been withholding information from everyone else, keeping tabs in secret to have as much information as possible, without raising any unwanted attention my way. I wonder if Annabelle knew, and if she did, why didn't she tell anyone where I was?
I wanted to thank him for that. I didn't want to see anyone during those few weeks before the visions took over. I wanted to be alone.
Eleanor stared right into my eyes, "I know what you did."
I nodded, expecting this to come from them eventually. It was only a matter of time before I spoke to at least one of them. "I'm glad I could help bring your family back together. Allen was caught up with some bad people over there."
"I can't even begin to describe what it felt like to see him again. His being alive wasn't ever a thought in my mind. I never expected to have my boy back," Eleanor spoke with eyes that began to glisten. "We have a lot of questions about how you found him," she spoke from the heart, "but that's not what I meant."
"What?" I asked. "What do you mean?"
"I know what you did for me. I remember… everything," she stopped there, waiting for my response.
"Everything?" I asked. I felt a nervous tickle inside my stomach.
Eleanor just nodded. Then, she began to cry. She wrapped her arms around my neck so fast that I had no time to brace myself. She was squeezing my neck so hard that I thought she was trying to incapacitate me.
"I'm so sorry, Sam," Eleanor kept saying to me over and over again. "I'm so sorry."
Carter stepped closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He didn't show emotion like Eleanor, but I could sense what he felt. On the inside, he was just as torn up as his wife.
We were silent again while we thought about what to say. In that moment of quiet grief… I felt a speck of happiness. I felt like I had a family that cared for me, and what I was going through, even after all the visions and killing that kept me away and feeling far from human.
"You could have returned to your human life," Eleanor said. "Is that true?"
I only nodded. I couldn't speak the words.
"Your family before… Autumn said that you told her they thought you were dead. Is that true?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Why haven't you gone back to them?" Eleanor asked. Then she slowly added, "Is it because of your daughter?"
My jaw visibly clenched at the words. They knew my deepest, darkest secret. It was the one thing I had hoped to keep from the entire world, but they knew.
"Listen to me," I stepped forward to them. "No one can know about Caydee. I've stayed away this long so she can have a normal life… a family. I can't go back, and I have to keep her a secret. All of my family… they can't be tied to me. If the wrong person finds out about them, they'd be in danger," I urgently explained.
Once I stopped speaking, I realized that I had paced over to Eleanor and grabbed her by the arm slightly. She wasn't alarmed by my closeness, but I could tell she felt what I was feeling. Carter was subtly cautious but understanding of my worries. I wasn't grabbing Eleanor in a threatening way. I was pleading with them to keep my loved ones a secret.
"We'd never tell anyone," Eleanor honestly admitted. "You can trust us, Sam."
"I'm sorry," I said, letting go of her arm.
"If you think keeping them in the dark about you is best, then we won't say a word. We can keep them a secret if that is what you want," Carter said.
I took a deep breath, sitting down on the couch in the middle of the living room. Eleanor and Carter took a seat across the small living room from me.
"What about your wife?" Carter asked.
I was silent. I wanted just to tell the truth, but I felt the same urge of secrecy pinning me down like it always had since I began this life. However, my new circumstances won out, and it was for the better.
"What do you want to know about her?"
They were surprised at my openness.
"What's her name?" Eleanor asked.
"Vicky," I told her.
"Vicky," she paused, thinking about the name. "Do you ever think about going back to her?"
"I used to… in the very beginning… but there were obvious complications."
"She has no clue about you?" Carter asked.
"No. As soon as I realized what I was, I knew I couldn't stay. I had this moment," I paused at the shame. I stared at the floor, shaking my head at the memory.
"What is it?" Eleanor asked. "You can tell us."
I nodded, "I felt the urge to kill my whole family: Vicky, my parents, my sisters, even my twin brother. I could barely control myself… Once I broke myself free, I knew I had to leave. It was the only way I knew I could keep them safe."
They accepted my answer, staying silent again for a few more moments before speaking.
"You have a twin?" Eleanor asked, shocked again.
"Yeah… Seth."
"Seth," she thought about it. "Sam and Seth."
"I miss him," I openly spoke. "I miss them all. It's been hard… alone. I've just always been scared that when the time comes, I won't be able to stop myself."
"When the time comes?" Carter asked about my wording.
"When the need gets too strong, and I have to hunt."
"When you feed…" Carter nodded, thinking they understood. They must have all thought that I fed on my victims from before in a way that they had never seen. The bodies I left in my wake were mutilated but not fed on visibly. They must have thought I was still feeding in some way. Maybe they were right… or maybe I was just a killer. They were hunters, and they were always trying to understand creatures, especially new ones they had never seen.
"I'm not feeding," I assured. "I don't feed on anyone I hunt. I find them… and I kill them. I'm not a monster that hunts and kills to survive. I hunt and kill. I do it because I feel a pull inside of myself, from the beast… I'm not sure where one ends and the other begins anymore. But I have to kill… It's only a matter of time."
Carter's body language changed to a more defensive pose as I spoke. Eleanor pulled a leg up into her chest as she sat back on the couch across from me, her arms wrapped around her knee.
My statements threw off their questioning. I don't know if they were fully ready for that much honesty yet, but they needed to hear it.
"Those men you killed a while back, the night with that van full of missing people. They were human," Carter remembered.
"Yeah. I've killed humans a lot longer than I've killed monsters," I said.
Carter nodded, accepting my words, "But, they were monsters."
I cocked my head to the side, unsure at his words.
"You forget a lot, don't you?" he smirked. "Monsters come in all different forms. It's not your existence that determines what you are; it's your actions."
"I remember," I said, recalling the very same words that Autumn had spoken to me all those months ago.
"Those men that night were monsters. Some of my family might disagree with your methods, but we can all agree that there are human beings in this world who are far more evil than the monsters we hunt. I don't want to just let humans off the hook because they're not supernatural. Martin and Jane would never do anything like what those three men were doing, but if they did, we'd hunt them with no question. If you hadn't stepped in that night, then those people might not have survived." Carter seemed to have thought about it before.
"So, you're okay with what I am… with what I do?" I asked them both. If either of them said yes, then I'd think that they were either drunk or crazy.
Neither answered right away. Eleanor looked down at the floor. She didn't move a muscle as she finally spoke, "That thing we saw you turn into, that night at the Wicklow's, was the scariest and most dreadful thing I've ever seen. Just hearing you on the other side of that hill, killing that monster the other night at the cave… I can't explain or understand it, but you're something different… something haunting. None of us knows how to categorize you," Eleanor said, motioning towards Carter. "Your other half is… uniquely terrifying."
"So, where does that leave us?" I asked, cutting to the chase.
"We can't act like you don't scare the shit out of us, because you do. But… we want you close to us," she said. "Your actions show us who you are: you saved Autumn that night from those vampires, you saved me…" she couldn't put into words everything he was feeling, "and now you've brought Allen back to us. You've done things for me, and my family, that wouldn't have been possible for anyone else. I can't ignore that," she said, checking the boxes in her mind as she explained. She sounded like she had said these things to herself before. "I cannot speak for everyone, not even Carter," Eleanor looked back to her husband again, "but I need you close. I feel this connection to you… It's hard to explain. I feel like you're another one of my kids that I need to protect…" She shook her head as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "I know you don't need my protection, but I know what you have had to give up… and I don't want you to have to give up anything else. You don't have to stay alone like this."
"I agree," Carter added. "I know all you've done for us, and I know that you've never done anything to directly hurt the family. I still consider you just as much a part of us as I ever have."
I nodded, trying to push the knot in my throat back down before I spoke.
"But you have questions," I recognized.
"Yes." Carter added, "We all do. I think mine are much simpler, though."
"Ask away," I offered.
"What you and Autumn had, did you ever actually feel it, or was that just part of the cover?" Eleanor was almost wincing as she asked.
I was shocked and a little hurt that they could think I'd do that. But I could see how it was a prominent question for them. Autumn was their daughter, and I had kept secrets from them. They just wanted to know the full truth.
"I didn't fake anything for her. I only hid what I was and where I came from. I never meant to get that close… it just kind of happened… with all of you." It was awkward talking about Autumn to her parents, especially since I hadn't been a part of her life in roughly a year.
"Why have you stayed away for so long?" Eleanor asked.
"It's complicated. I didn't necessarily want to be away… but I had… things to do."
"Do you have to go away again?" Eleanor asked.
I looked up, and her eyes were sharply trained on me.
"I don't want to have to leave you guys again… but… things may come up. I might have to go take care of things… if the… entity calls."
"We don't want you to either," she agreed. "So, stay… here with us. I'll be here for you whenever you're ready to talk. If he calls, we'll deal with it together." Eleanor was really trying to make me understand that she considered me family, no questions asked.
I nodded without speaking.
"The more time started to pass, the more Autumn started forcing herself to move on. We all started thinking you weren't coming back, and we'd never see you again…" Eleanor was getting emotional at the thought of the loss she felt for me back then. "I just wanted to talk to you after everything happened, but you left…" She shook her head with tears in her eyes. "I think Autumn did what she felt she had to do to just survive emotionally, after everything happened. I can't tell you what she'll be like now, but I know things won't be the same… for any of us. But… you can't leave again."
Carter piped up unexpectedly, "We worried about you every night since we last saw you. I had Martin keep an eye out for you to make sure we'd know when you came back. We weren't sure what was happening with you, but we wanted to give you space. Then… we never saw you again."
"I don't want to just stay away again," I promised. "I'll try to answer your questions, but there might be some things I don't know, or I can't tell you…" I warned them, hoping they'd take that well.
"Why are there things you can't tell us?" Carter was confused.
"The others, I think they were meant to help me. But I still don't fully trust them, or what they said. They said that I could tell those closest to me about my true nature, but it might be better to keep them in the dark. To keep them safe."
Eleanor's eyes were a mix of intrigue and fear. "Is that something you'll tell us?"
I sat across from her in that chair, begging for a reason to pop into my mind. Yet, the words kept coming out. I just hoped I wouldn't come to regret this.
"The things he sends me for… sometimes… I see things in images. The entity gives visions and the name of the one the visions are about. It's a target… someone that needs to be killed. When that happens, it's like… I want to do it. I can feel how evil and wrong the person is. I can't tell if it's actually me feeling these things, or the one who is putting these thoughts in my mind. Long story short, if I get a name… they're dead."
Carter and Eleanor were quiet for a good minute or two, scared to ask anything else. I think he thought I was being controlled by someone else, and it was only a matter of time before I was sent for his own family for some fucked up reason.
"If it's any consolation, that's the main reason I've been gone. I had only ever gotten two before I disappeared. They were both witches who were nothing but pure evil; Mucia and her servant, Charlotte Gunderson. They killed innocent people to prolong their own lives and give them more power. They were the definition of evil," I explained it pretty one-sided, hoping they'd have the same thoughts I did. I felt like I was getting them back, and I didn't want to lose them again. "Then, one night at Martin's, a vision hit me out of nowhere. I left town, and when it was done, I got another, then another. It just kept going."
"Did Jon get these visions, too?"
"Jon was…" I gathered myself, "he was a monster like me. He was kind of preparing me, I guess. He was teaching me, but the visions don't come from him."
"Then where?" Carter asked.
"There's another… person in that place. I've never really gotten a good look at them up close, but they've been around me since the night I was killed. They've been behind everything that has happened to me since I became this… thing," I relived my time around the Being. "I have absolutely no idea who or what he is, but he's more powerful than anyone else I've met."
"Hmm…" Carter was perplexed. Obvious questions went unasked in his mind.
No one said anything right after, breaking the pace of our conversation.
"If this is too much… I'll understand if you want me to leave. I won't argue it," I offered.
Eleanor's eyes glanced up at me after I spoke, squinting at me like she thought I couldn't understand something.
"You think you can scare us off that easily?" she joked.
Carter joined with a laugh, "You have more to your story than I think either of us realized," he motioned to Eleanor, "but we're not going anywhere. We want to know whatever you'll tell us."
I felt relief pass across my stressed mind. This was going much better than I had ever imagined it would. Then I remembered something I needed to do.
"I'm sorry for before," I apologized to them. "When I snapped at you in your house. I wasn't feeling myself that night, but I'm okay now. I'm not really sure what was going on with me."
"I'm sorry too. I felt like I had something glazed over my mind ever since we came back from that other place, and I couldn't remember anything. That's why we had so many questions. It cleared the night I remembered everything," Eleanor told me.
"Seems like it was just… a tough time for us all. We don't want that to be how things end between us, Sam. We want you here… like we've said. We want you with us," Carter said openly.
Their demeanors looked like they were ready for more information, but since I couldn't answer this question, I started into more of my past history. I wanted to tell them about my life, and the hand I had been dealt over the last few years.