It didn't take long for Ben to realise, Daniel really wasn't joking. The guy had no fucking clue. He aggressively scrolled through YouTube, typing in "dances about desire" like that was a perfectly reasonable search term. He cycled through videos of close-contact, sultry choreography, frowning harder with every passing clip.
After about twenty minutes of grim research, he tossed his phone aside and flopped to the floor like a cat in distress.
"Why are these dances so weird?" he groaned. "Do they have to be glued to each other like that? It's not even dancing anymore, it's just porno with extra steps!"
Ben stared, a slow, uncomfortable suspicion creeping in.
"Hyung, please tell me you know what desire feels like."
Daniel bolted upright, gasping like Ben had just insulted his entire bloodline. "Of course I do!" he declared, puffing up like an indignant bullfrog. "My passion! My love! My deepest desire is—" He flung his arms open, chin lifted high like he was delivering the final monologue in a tragic musical.
"DANCE!"
Ben's eyes twitched. He immediately understood their choreography was doomed.
He looked at Daniel and asked carefully, "Have you ever felt desire for anything other than dance?"
Daniel scratched the back of his head, brow furrowed. "I never really thought about it."
Ben sighed.
Of course! Daniel had never given it a thought.
And if he'd never seriously considered desiring someone, that left Ben staring down a horrifying new possibility.
With dread crawling up his spine, he asked, "Wait, are–are you a virgin?"
Daniel blinked at him like he'd just asked whether the sky was blue. Without a single hint of embarrassment, he nodded. "Was that not obvious?"
Ben froze.
He stared at Daniel like he had just announced he was the crown prince of Atlantis.
"But you're TWENTY-ONE!!" he blurted out.
Daniel shot him a look, unimpressed. "Wow. Rude. Did you expect me to sleep around just because I'm legal?"
"No! I mean–" Ben shut his mouth before he said something truly stupid.
He wasn't expecting anything.
But still, twenty-one? Really?
Ben's mind flashed back to his first time, before even Mika, when he was sixteen, with a girl from his class who'd had a crush on him. It was a short-lived, awkward relationship, born from teenage hormones and curiosity. The experience had been exciting, charged with nervous energy and reckless confidence. They'd laughed about it afterwards. She'd transferred schools not long after, and that was the end of it.
But Daniel hadn't even crossed that line.
And suddenly, everything made sense.
All of Daniel's cluelessness. The way Daniel missed every signal thrown his way. His total oblivion to people fawning over him. His complete, almost comical misunderstanding of dating. The way he was so blind to Ben's feelings. It wasn't just that he was naive.
Daniel was genuinely innocent.
That made Ben feel worse, like some wolf circling an oblivious, wide-eyed lamb.
Daniel frowned at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Ben gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Nothing."
How was he supposed to feel, knowing this? He had imagined so many things with him that definitely weren't PG. And now he felt like he needed to do community service just to rebalance his karmic scale.
Daniel was popular, sure. But apparently too focused or too uninterested to ever let anyone in.
***
By the end of the day, Ben had arrived at one very tragic conclusion: their dance was doomed.
How were they supposed to perform a piece themed 'Desire' when one half of the duo didn't even grasp the theme?
All they had managed was sitting side by side on the wooden studio floor and watching duet dance videos with wildly varying levels of intensity and equally varying levels of panic (at least for Ben).
At one point, Daniel stood up abruptly. "This is getting us nowhere," he declared. "Let's just try something."
Ben nodded and got up too, though his brain was still scrambled from the parade of sensual choreographies they'd just watched. Naturally, that meant he completely missed the flashing neon sign that was Daniel's idea of 'trying'.
Because the next thing he knew, Daniel had his hands around his waist and was pulling him close for the start of some sensual choreography that made Ben's brain immediately eject itself from his skull. Before he could think, he shoved Daniel back with enough force to make the older boy stumble. Breath hitching, Ben muttered something vaguely resembling an apology.
Daniel blinked, utterly baffled. "What happened to you?" he asked, tilting his head like Ben had turned into a brand-new species of forest cryptid.
Ben, trying very hard not to scream into his hoodie, muttered, "Can we not practice today? Maybe we should think of the concept first?"
Daniel looked concerned. "Concept? I mean, you're not wrong, but…"
Of course, Daniel was concerned. Ben could already guess what the issue was. For someone who couldn't grasp the idea of wanting another person, how were they supposed to dance about it?
Ben's self-control was already frayed. The scent of Daniel's cologne, the warmth of his touch, the way he looked completely oblivious… it was like walking through a marijuana field and trying not to get high. The worst part was that Daniel wasn't even trying to be intoxicating.
With no resolution in sight, Ben decided to leave early. Daniel, still staring after him like a confused puppy, mumbled something about staying to practice more.
Of course, he would. Dance was his passion, his obsession, and his first love.
Ben loved dancing, too. But he also loved Daniel.
And that was the whole problem.