Gazing at the extravagant light fixtures characterized by elaborate metalwork, dazzling crystals, and lavish detailing, the Victorian chandeliers, he got immersed into deep thoughts.
He smiled while raising his hand, covering the shimmering lights of the Victorian chandeliers. His gaze shifted to his hand. His skin was so highly reflective it caught the light like a sheet of glass.
He whispered, knowing full well that his voice wouldn't even come out as a breath, "I'm so young."
He dropped his hand back onto the bed as if it had been thrown from the sky. He closed his eyes, remembering the moment he woke from his lucid dream.
After all that happened, he was finally able to get freedom and was transferred to another school.
The teacher was punished for his doings, which led him to be punished as well since he told them that he stole his test.
But what he was thinking about wasn't the fact that he managed to get revenge; it was the fact that he met his love partner. The woman he would sacrifice the world for.
Sū Lìyàn. That was her name. She tried to get along with people she considered useless before—more like brainless, or so she thought.
He was the first to tell her that she was under peer pressure. Not necessarily, but yeah, she was. No matter what the problem is, it's better to confront it right away than to hide behind someone else's back.
She thought of the one and only short sentence he said to her: "That's how we lose a great generation—peer pressure." She was so heartbroken by it.
Even though she had managed to act as if she wasn't, in reality, she was disturbed by it for days. She tried to find him in school. Unfortunately, at that time, Mr. Zhang, the ethics teacher, was already in court. Everything had ended, and Lǐ Wéi's transfer process as well.
She didn't know he got transferred. She kept searching for him on and on. She even went to Old Wang's Grocery Store (老王杂货店, Lǎo Wáng Záhuò Diàn).
But no use. In the end, he left the city with a heartbreaking past and a new aura to embrace. His life changed for the better. Of course, some major problems definitely happened, but that didn't stop him from continuing. He kept manipulating with dark psychology books.
He even read the banned webnovel 'Reverend Insanity' in China. As he expected, it awakened philosophical questions. Right and wrong, the why, and different perspectives.
For others, it was filled with dark themes. For him, it was the best teacher, more like a guideline in his life. As soon as he ended the novel, he felt detached from everything.
He once said to himself, "Why do I expect things from others? The fact that no matter what I do, I can never change someone to like me or hate me as it stands now. Doing hypnosis is not my thing. I don't care what others think; why should I even listen? It doesn't even matter to me. How can a reader teach the author? That's not possible. Life is like that; maybe once life will fade, but their story goes on throughout the readers. I'm an author of my life, and I write it the way I want because I was given the chance to write it the way I want. Others write their life the way they want, not the way humans want.
Well, a lot of people say God is in control. I never once doubted that; not once have I doubted that God is not in control.
My point here: whenever we try to take over our life, it simply slips out of God's hand. We eventually get back disdained or fall on the side of hell.
Half true. One thing I made a mistake is that I already have the ability to write what I want. God wrote for everyone the ability to write their own job. When something doesn't go the way we want, that means that's not what we should be wanting because God is preparing something more precious than that. Half the job is literally our creatures, like us, who use names and titles to cover for their downfall. They won't do it when it's time to rise up. You can't accept criticism nor deny it; we are nothing to each other. I don't care who is an obstacle or not, but they will be eliminated. If not, that only means they are not a major problem anymore, or it's all thanks to God for once that they're alive. Be obedient and stop acting like someone has everything figured out.
So humans live their life saying everything happens for a reason; you must be strong and continue striking forward. Only focus on your future because the past simply exists only in mere memory that we cannot show anyone else but us.
Humans are born, and everyone grows up. Some die here without even birth or still not even reaching their first year.
We all go to kindergarten and school stuff, and some of us die early because one is born with a rich family and wealth already, while the other is born with a burning passion for talent emerging in him/her. On the other side, there are people born with nothing but a name, and some are born with diseases already.
Yet, let's say we managed to reach high school.
We all play our roles as the nerd, the bully, the popular girl, the athletic, and the famous emo boy, so on...
Some fail to pass high school or not, while others might not even reach it, having the expectation they might suicide.
After all that, we go to college or get scholarships. So what else? Once we finished our school, others sit down on their family wealth, legs crossed, hands tied. While someone like me runs to get himself a real job.
After years of commitment to our job, we finally wanna decide to marry someone.
Not all of us manage to marry, but me personally, I was able to marry Sū Lìyàn.
Running here and there for our children, we are those called 'who are just living a boring routine for nothing but hard work for nothing but to make employers' dream of becoming a millionaire or billionaire come true.' While I just keep dreaming about it until one day I would have kids, then say, well, maybe one day my kids will make me a millionaire or even a billionaire. Who knows? They will become billionaires. Gradually, the more they grow up, the more they realize they had to make us filthy rich. We had been working day in and night for our children; that's it. That shit is the same cycle that will continue throughout their life as well... Such a cursed world; I hate it...
Even though I want to go back to family. After everything I had done, she and I married each other. She was pregnant, not to mention she must be worried, waiting for me to wake up in a coma. I'm sure I got into a coma. There is no way I will die because I just came here... at least I hope so...
I'm going to become a father. I wish so..."
"Chasing after my future self is much better than chasing someone chasing their future self where their dream lies in."