"No."
he said.
"Please, Yamamoto, you've gotta help me out!"
"There is NO way I'm going on a date with you."
"Bro, you don't understand," I said, grabbing his sleeve like my life depended on it. "I don't know how to date. If she asks me out, it'll be awkward, I'll mess it up, and then she'll break up with me!"
"She doesn't want you anyway," he said, completely unfazed.
"That's where you're wrong," I shot back instantly. "We've already been over this. I'm right, you're wrong. She wants me. End of story. Now don't be a baka and help your bro out. Pleaseee."
Yamamoto stared at me for a long second.
Then he slowly pulled his sleeve out of my grip like I had just tried to infect him with something.
"Kudo," he said, calm but deadly, "you just asked me on a date."
"It's not a real date!" I snapped. "It's a practice date."
"That's still a date."
"It's a simulation."
"A simulation," he repeated flatly.
"Yes."
"With me."
"Yes."
He blinked once. Twice.
"…You're actually serious."
"I've never been more serious in my life."
He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face.
"I should've stayed home today."
"Yamamoto."
"No."
"Yamamoto."
"No."
"Yamamo-"
"Stop saying my name like that."
"Then stop saying no."
"I will stop saying no when you stop asking me insane things."
"This isn't insane," I said. "This is preparation."
"For what? Your imaginary relationship?"
"It's not imaginary," I said, offended. "It's official."
He looked at me like he was reconsidering every life choice that led to this moment.
"Listen," I continued, lowering my voice like I was explaining a master plan. "Think about it logically. If I practice, I won't mess up. If I don't mess up, she won't lose interest. If she doesn't lose interest, I win."
"That's not how any of this works."
"That's exactly how this works."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it-" He stopped, exhaled, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're exhausting."
"That's because I'm right."
"You're not right."
"I am."
"You're not."
"I am."
He stared at me.
I stared back.
This was a battle of wills now.
Finally, he clicked his tongue.
"…What exactly would this 'practice date' even involve?"
I straightened up instantly.
"So basically," I said, "we meet after school…"
"Okay…"
"…we walk together…"
"…Okay…"
"…maybe get something to eat…"
"….Okay…"
"…and then we hold hand-"
"No."
"You didn't even let me finish."
"I don't need to."
"You don't even know the full plan."
"I know enough."
I crossed my arms. "Hmph"
"You're being difficult on purpose." I pouted
"You're asking me to go on a date with you."
"It's not a date."
"You keep saying that like it changes anything."
"It does change everything."
"It changes nothing."
We stared at each other again.
Then Yamamoto sighed. Again.
"…If… and this is a massive if. I agreed to this," he said slowly, "what do I get out of it?"
I paused.
"…You get to help your best friend succeed in life."
He gave me the most unimpressed look I had ever seen.
"Try again."
"…You get free food."
His expression didn't change.
"…I'll do your homework for a week."
A slight pause.
"…Two weeks?"
He looked away, thinking.
I leaned in.
"Three…?"
He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time.
"…You're unbelievable."
"And yet, I'm still your friend." I grinned.
"Unfortunately."
"So?"
He looked at me.
Really looked at me.
Then he shook his head slightly, like he was accepting defeat.
"…One hour."
My eyes lit up.
"What?"
"One hour," he repeated. "After school. That's it. I'm not holding your hand, I'm not pretending to like you, and if anyone I know sees us, I'm denying everything."
I grabbed his shoulders.
"YAMAMOTO I LOVE YOU—"
"Don't say that so loudly!!"
"THIS IS WHY YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND."
"I regret everything already."
Step one of the plan… complete.
Now all I had to do was learn how to date.
How hard could it be?
We met after school.
Yamamoto showed up exactly on time. Of course he did.
"You look nervous," he said.
"I'm not nervous," I replied.
"You're fixing your hair using your phone screen."
"…It's called preparation."
He sighed. "Let's just get this over with."
"Right. Training."
"Yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
We started walking.
For a few seconds, it was normal.
Then my brain kicked in.
Step length. Hand position. Eye direction. Breathing pattern.
"Kudo."
"Yeah?"
"Why did you just switch walking styles?"
"I didn't."
"You went from normal to NPC."
"I'm trying to be natural."
"You were natural five seconds ago."
"Oh."
I reset.
"Okay. Talking. I need to practice conversation."
"You've talked before."
"Not like this."
"There is no 'like this.'"
"There is."
"Fine. Talk."
I thought for a second.
Then.
"So… how was your day?"
Yamamoto looked at me.
"…You're asking me that?"
"Yes."
"We were in the same class."
"Answer the question."
He stared at me, then gave up.
"It was normal."
"Good, good," I nodded. "Follow-up question."
He rubbed his face.
"Why am I doing this…"
"What do you like to do in your free time?"
"…You know what I like to do."
"This is practice."
"Eating. Sleeping. Not going on dates with you."
"Oh come on!"
We sat down at a fast food restaurant.
Yamamoto looked around like he was making sure no one from school could see him.
"I don't think a girl wants to be taken on her first date to a place like this," he said.
"Why not?" I replied, grabbing a tray. "This food is sugoi."
"This food is what?"
"Sugoi."
He stared at me.
"I'll pretend I know what that means."
"It means amazing."
"…You think this is amazing?"
"Yes."
He looked down at his burger.
Then back at me.
"…You're not ready for a relationship."
"That's exactly why we're here."
"That's not going to fix it."
I ignored him and sat down.
"Alright," I said. "Scenario: we're on a real date. You're Sakura."
"I refuse."
"You already agreed to this."
"I agreed to one hour. Not identity theft."
"Close enough. Just sit there and look… approachable."
"I'm not changing how I look."
"Fine. Just don't look like you hate me."
"I do hate this."
"Work with me."
He sighed and leaned back.
"This is a mistake."
"Focus," I said. "I sit down, and I say something normal."
"Try."
I cleared my throat.
"…So, uh… do you like burgers?"
Yamamoto blinked.
"That's your opening line?"
"It's relevant. We're eating."
"That's the best you could come up with?"
"It's natural."
"It's boring."
"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Sakura, I have been thinking about you under the moonlight'?"
"…Honestly, that would at least be memorable."
I frowned.
"Okay, fine. Again."
I reset.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound relaxed. "I'm glad you came."
Yamamoto looked at me for a second.
"…Better…"
I nodded.
"See? I can do it!" I made up a fist.
The date ended faster than I expected.
One hour.
That's all Yamamoto gave me.
One hour of "training," and somehow I felt even less prepared than before.
We walked out of the restaurant in silence.
"Well," I said, trying to sound confident, "that was productive."
"It wasn't," Yamamoto replied instantly.
"I improved."
"You didn't."
"I did."
"You asked me if I come here often while we were already sitting there."
"…That's a classic line."
"It's a terrible line."
I crossed my arms.
"You just don't understand my strategy."
"You don't have a strategy."
"I do."
"You don't."
We stopped at the corner where we usually split.
He looked at me for a second.
"…Just don't be weird," he said.
"That's not helpful."
"That's the only advice you need."
I frowned.
"I'm not weird."
He stared at me.
"…Good luck," he said, turning away.
"Wait," I called out.
He glanced back.
"…Thanks."
He didn't say anything.
But he gave a small nod before walking off.
Later that night, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
My phone rested on my chest.
Still nothing.
No message.
No "goodnight."
…Strange.
Because logically speaking, couples say goodnight to each other.
That's just a fact.
I've seen it. Multiple times. In different anime. Consistently.
Maybe she fell asleep early.
Yeah.
That had to be it.
I grabbed my phone and opened my account.
After a few seconds of thinking, I typed:
'Taking a break for a while. Real life comes first now.'
I stared at it.
Then hit post.
That's it.
A new chapter of my life had begun.
No more wasting time online.
No more pointless debates.
I had responsibilities now.
A relationship.
Soon… a job.
A future.
A family.
Yes.
This was my path.
This was what I was destined for.
And Sakura…
was my partner.
Morning came way too fast.
I barely slept.
Not because I was nervous.
No.
Because I was thinking.
Planning.
Strategizing.
Today was important.
I grabbed my phone.
Still nothing.
No message.
No "good morning." again…
By the time I got to class, she was already there.
Sakura sat by the window, sunlight hitting her hair like always.
Why does she always look like that?
Is that even fair?
I took a deep breath.
This was it.
Post-training.
New me.
Confident me.
I walked up to her desk.
"S-s-s-s-so S-Sakura…"
I froze.
No.
That wasn't confident.
Reset.
Before I could recover-
"Oh! Good morning, Kudo! How are you?" she said, smiling like nothing in the world was wrong.
My brain shut down.
"I-I'm g-g-good! Um…"
Why am I stuttering MORE?
Training was a scam.
"I'm glad," she said. "Oh, by the way, about the project. Let's meet up at like 5, okie dokie?"
I blinked.
"…What?"
"The project?" she tilted her head slightly. She looks so cute I swear.
"Yes. Yes, the project," I said quickly. "Y-y-yeah, okay."
She smiled.
"Great! See you then."
"See you…"
I stood there for a second.
Then slowly walked back to my seat.
My heart was racing again.
Yamamoto looked at me.
"Well?" he asked.
I sat down.
"…It's confirmed."
"What is?"
"We're meeting at 5."
"For the project."
I looked at him.
"…Yeah."
He stared back.
"…You're still delusional."
I crossed my arms.
"No," I said confidently.
"This is just the beginning."
He sighed.
"You're going to embarrass yourself."
"We'll see."
"No," he said. "We really won't."
I leaned back in my chair.
5 PM.
Her dorm.
Just the two of us.