"Obsessions and Fears
The noise from the brief drift hadn't fazed the person standing there at all.
It seemed the hard brake didn't impress him in the slightest.
The car window rolled down, and now Jin's face appeared.
"Leo why are you still standing there like a statue? Come on, get in," he said, flashing an ironic smile.
Leo rolled his eyes and opened the door, speaking as he got in:
"Where the hell are you taking us at this hour? Are you out of your mind?
Do we have some score to settle with someone and I don't know about it?
You should've told me earlier so I could've been prepared!"
"And when did you start drifting again?"
Jin laughed sarcastically and stepped on the gas.
"Why aren't you with Ren today?"
"Excuse me—do I have to sleep with Ren every night?"
Leo raised his hand in front of Jin's face.
"Do you see any sign of marriage on my hand? I don't think so.
That means I have my own life and my own space.
I can't stay clingy to him all day, right?"
"Tell me—are you clingy with Smart?"
Before Jin can answer, he is answering himself:
"I don't think so. Right?"
"So it's completely normal for us to breathe in our own space, to have time for ourselves.
To have space—do you get it?"
Leo is out of breath, talking with his hands and feet.
"Shit, you're talking too much!
If this were another situation, I swear I would stop the car and throw you out.
I asked you one simple question, and you're drowning me in a hundred unnecessary things."
Jin paused, then added with a crooked smile,
"And yes, I'd love to stay clingy to Smart all day,
but we haven't reached that stage yet.
Once we do, I swear I won't let him breathe—
he'll breathe only for me."
Leo looked at him with a twisted expression, a look that clearly said:
You're more than insane.
"So where do you think Ren is right now?"
Leo answered with complete confidence, as if he'd stake his hand on it.
"I talked to him a little while ago. "He said he was home.
And at this hour… where else could he be?
He's probably asleep.
He's a good guy."
He smiled, looking ridiculously in love.
Jin didn't say a word. He just gave a faint smile, leaving Leo with a strange, uneasy feeling.
His silence shouted louder than words: Idiot. Ren isn't home.
Leo's eyes widened as realization hit him.
"Jin? Where the hell are they?"
"That's where we're headed," Jin said in a cold voice.
With the road almost empty, he pressed the gas, enjoying the speed and pulling off another controlled drift.
Leo felt the adrenaline and smiled faintly.
"So tell me… when did you start drifting again? Or was it that night?"
Jin pretended not to understand and stayed silent.
His breathing was tense, full of excitement.
"Then let me figure it out myself," Leo continued, pretending to think.
"Is there someone behind this?"
"Just felt like it today," Jin said, keeping his eyes on the road.
Leo raised an eyebrow and looked at him again.
"Hmmm… just felt like it?
Or was it Smart who sparked the idea?"
Jin stayed silent again, continuing to drive quickly but controlled.
"Are you going to tell me? Don't leave me guessing and tiring my brain.
You're probably planning some scheme for Smart, otherwise it doesn't make sense!
Why didn't the urge come earlier, but exactly after that night?"
"Leo, let me ask you something," Jin said, his voice turning serious.
"Hmmm… go ahead," Leo replied in a low voice.
"Who do you think drove the car toward the hill that night?"
"So… you ended up exactly where I thought? As if I knew!" Leo said, sounding like he'd made some discovery.
"Stop acting so clever and just speak," Jin said, giving him a sidelong glance, as if warning him.
This had been weighing heavily on Jin for days.
All week, he had spent almost all his time with Smart and hadn't had a chance to go out and discuss this with Leo.
This part worried him the most, especially seeing Smart's real skills.
He couldn't wait to hear Leo's opinion, hoping it would put his mind at ease a little.
They always discussed everything together, even the most basic things.
Leo paused for a few seconds, thinking carefully.
In the end, Jin was his closest friend, and there was no reason to hide his thoughts.
"To be honest, Ren is very skilled behind the wheel,
but I've never seen him take big risks.
They got there really fast.
"Whoever it was, he was very skilled."
"Ren could have done it, but I'm not completely sure."
I asked him! And he confirmed it was him, but then I didn't press further because Ren didn't give me any space to—well, you can imagine for yourself!
Jin couldn't keep that expression off his face and spoke:
"So… are you telling me you two…?"
Leo lit a cigarette, took a small drag, and let the smoke curl near Jin's face.
"Hmmm… not yet!"
Damn it!
You still can't get used to the idea of being the bottom, right?
Leo just nodded, unable to get a single word out.
"I honestly wonder how Ren manages to hold back without having you in his hands yet.
That kind of patience deserves some credit."," Jin said, winking at Leo to light a cigarette for him.
Leo put the cigarette to his lips and lit it.
"Honestly, I don't know! But what scares me even more is myself!
I feel like I'm about to surrender into his hands!"
Jin took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.
We both know the reason why you're worried, don't we?
But let me tell you, not everyone is a jerk like that bastard!
And even if they are, you know I would never let anyone hurt you!
I'd do the same thing I did back then, without a second thought."
Leo immediately turned his head toward him and chewed on his words lightly.
"Jin! Why have you never told me what happened with him?"
Jin exhaled the cigarette smoke, and with it came a calm but sharp voice.
"There's nothing to tell!"
At the corner of his lips appeared just a half-smile, hinting at a quiet satisfaction.
I think now is the moment for you to truly experience your feelings—just as they are, without holding yourself back.
The fact that Ren is enduring so much and waiting until you're ready speaks for itself.
Those actions say everything.
They show that he genuinely cares about your feelings, your mental state, and that he's giving you all the time you need.
Don't think of being a bottom as the end of the world.
Think of it as being a bottom for the person you love.
Leo stared at him, cigarette frozen in his mouth, eyes wide.
"Are you really Jin? No way… can those words actually come from you?"
"I don't know… I don't know what Smart has done to you," Leo replied, "but you've got to hand it to him."
He started clapping slowly, deliberately.
Jin watched him from the corner of his eye, glare sharp and teasing.
"Then don't keep Ren waiting—go on, lay yourself under him. Do it," he said, smirking as he laughed.
That's all the kindness and sweet words we got from you.
Now you're back to your old self, Jin—harsh, sharp, and fierce," Leo said, shaking his head as he exhaled the cigarette smoke.
"Alright, let's get back on topic since we've wandered off so much," Leo continued, firing the questions.
"Tell me… why are you so obsessed with Smart and the fact that he can handle a car perfectly?
Isn't it a bit… over the top to make such a big deal out of it?"
Jin let out a soft chuckle.
"You know speed is dangerous!
Remember those races back in school?
You know exactly what happens when speed takes over and control slips away!
Smart is still young and can't handle those emotions yet.
We've been there at his age, and I don't even need to remind you of the stupid things we did and the consequences we faced."
Leo took a deep breath, momentarily lost in memories of the past.
"Hmm, I know very well, and you're right to care about him.
But don't forget, even at his age, nothing could really stop us either
We had to grow up a bit, experience the consequences, and only then learn to let go."
"That night, I wanted to mess with Smart," Jin slowed down a bit so they could talk more calmly.
"I pushed the car harder, even threw in a few drifts, but he didn't bite.
Instead… he asked me to teach him how to drift."
Leo chuckled lightly, thinking about how clever Smart could be.
"And you just gave in that easily?"
"Actually, I held back at first.
But then he said if I didn't teach him, he'd just go find someone else.
I nearly lost it right there.
I forgot everything—and promised him."
Leo smiled faintly.
"Hmmm… a dangerously jealous streak, huh?"
I felt a surge of nerves I couldn't hold back.
"I can't stand the thought of him being with someone else—or me not being able to keep him safe," Jin said, tilting his head toward Leo, locking eyes with him.
"And over these past few days, while teaching Smart to drift, I've noticed moves that clearly don't belong to a beginner."
"I can't shake the thought that maybe he was the one driving that night."
Thinking about the speed he could handle… it drives me insane.
I can't let him risk his life like that.
You know exactly what it's like to get completely consumed by that kind of speed.
It takes over you, swallows you whole, and hooks you—just like it did to us years ago!
"Don't worry.
I know exactly how you feel, and I understand you.
You're doing the right thing by trying to keep Smart safe."
Jin let out a deep, tense breath, like something heavy was pressing on his chest.
"Smart really has the reflexes of someone way beyond capable behind the wheel.
What gets to me is how much he keeps from me.
He's not fully open—doesn't feel free to spill everything."
"Don't stress about that. It's just the beginning—I've told you before.
"Once he's comfortable with you, I'm sure he'll let it all out.
He's trying to show you his best side to win you over,
without even realizing that the other side is already driving you crazy."
"Damn it… he's really driving me crazy, I swear." Jin tilted his head toward Leo, locking eyes with him.
"You thought you were dealing with someone who was just cute and pretty—and look how that turned out.
You thought a first kiss would be enough to get him in bed, and that would be it.
But now you're seeing a Smart who's not just cute, but stubborn, strong-willed, and full of character."
"So… how does that make you feel?" Leo asked, clearly curious.
Jin slowly licked his lip, as if caught in a wave of excitement.
"Fuck… how do I feel?
I feel like he's devouring me completely— and damn it, I adore him even more."
Leo shifted in his seat, visibly excited.
"Just admit it—you're insanely in love with him."
Jin just smiled and gave Leo a knowing look toward the seat behind them.
Leo turned his head and saw a beanie and two pairs of dark sunglasses on the seat.
He immediately looked back at Jin.
"Weren't you the one who mocked me back then for the disguise I used?"
Jin shot him a sideways glance.
"Grab your stuff and don't drag this out."
"Okay, okay," Leo said, pulling the beanie over his head.
He put on the sunglasses, then took out his phone and snapped a few photos of himself.
Leo stayed fairly calm. He knew very well that Ren was just accompanying Smart, and the reason Ren hadn't mentioned it was simply that he didn't want Jin to find out.
Leo picked up the second pair of sunglasses and handed them to Jin.
"Wait—let me take a few pictures of you too.
We need to remember this moment."
Jin gave him a sharp glare, so intense that Leo could feel it even through the lenses.
"Alright, alright," Leo said, lowering his phone.
"But tell me—how did you figure out where they are?"
A slight, almost mischievous smile appeared at the corner of Jin's lips,
reminding him of the moment he had discovered it.
Jin remembered clearly how it had happened:
Back when they were together, teaching Smart how to drift,
there came a moment when Smart went to the bathroom, leaving his phone in the car.
Right then, a notification popped up on Smart's phone.
Jin grabbed the phone and managed to read the message from the screen:
✉️ "You're the special guest at Beat Pub tonight.
We look forward to seeing you."
At that moment, Jin stepped out of the car, making sure Smart wouldn't notice that he might have seen the message.
When Smart returned, he picked up the phone and read the SMS, smiling.
"—Who's this?" Jin asked, pretending he knew nothing.
"Ah… Zoi. She wants me to come home earlier," he replied.
Jin's expression darkened. His hands clenched into fists, but there was nothing he could do.
He turned his attention back to his conversation with Leo.
"Nothing ever gets past me. You know that, right?" he said, giving a sly glance.
Leo looked at him with a face that seemed to say:
"Ha! Nothing escapes you, huh?"
Leo paused for a moment, then turned back to Jin, surprised.
"Don't tell me you've planted people to follow Smart?
Tell me you haven't… this is too much!"
Jin listened in silence.
"Damn it, answer me!" Leo continued, not stopping until he got a reaction from Jin.
Jin stopped the car, pulled his hoodie over his head, put on his sunglasses, and said,
"Relax, you're overwhelming me! I haven't placed anyone to follow Smart yet…
I'm handling this myself! If I want, I'll follow him on my own!"
"Wow… damn, you're heading straight for madness," Leo muttered to himself.
"How far are you willing to go?"
"Jin, why are you making this relationship so complicated?
Why not just sit down and talk openly?
Wouldn't that be more honest?
I think Smart doesn't tell you because he's afraid you'll try to control everything.
Just my two cents!"
Jin lowered his sunglasses to look Leo straight in the eyes.
*If that's how he feels, and his fear is justified…
because I can't stand the thought of him working as a waiter,
I can't stand him coming to this place,
I can't stand him getting close to anyone but me…
And now that I think about it, maybe he's right to keep these things from me for now.
If he told me, I might lose it.
At this stage of our relationship, he still has the power to walk away and live his life…
That's why I can't react.*
I can't interfere directly.
So I'll move in silence, waiting for the perfect moment.
He may try to deceive me—I'll pretend to believe, but I'll be watching every move.
Not a single step outside my control will go unnoticed.
Leo watched him, unable to believe the intensity of his obsession.
He was on an extreme level of fixation—completely consumed.
"Jin… be careful with what you're doing!
One day you might get hurt…"
Jin laughed.
"Let's see when that day comes.
For now, I just want to have that person all to myself!"
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