"You know… I don't usually have gym battles with criminals," Sabrina bit out, looking a bit wearily at me from across a battlefield, "Especially not criminals who took over the city I live in…"
"I'm not a Team Rocket member," I deadpanned at the woman again, sighing in annoyance as we stood across from each other inside the Saffron City gym, "You were there for the whole conversation, so you should know that!"
In front of me sat the battlefield for the Saffron City gym, which fit its slightly ominous, but still somewhat normal, theme. It was a large, rectangular arena with various square-shaped neon-lighted grounds between us. The entire battlefield looked like a grid, as each small square section was set alight with a bright blue light while the area surrounding the actual battlefield was pitch-black. As a result, Sabrina actually looked pretty intimidating right now, as she stood shrouded in darkness with only the bright floor illuminating her front.
"I-I couldn't keep track of that! I don't even know what I know anymore!" Sabrina groaned at my response, her head spinning as I swore I could see swirls in her eyes, "H-He was so convincing… I almost thought I had applied to Team Rocket for a bit…"
Or, she would've looked intimidating if she didn't look like she was about to have a midlife crisis, which really went to show the mental capacity of the average trainer. Sabrina, even if she was largely a fraud, was still one of the strongest gym leaders in this entire region - hell, going based on the games, she was one of the strongest gym leaders in this entire world. Despite that, Giovanni's gaslighting attempt had thrown her for a complete loop, to the point that she thought she really had applied for Team Rocket - even though Giovanni had been trying to convince me, not her!
Truly, I could see how Team Rocket was such a problem in this world. If every moronic trainer gave in to Giovanni's words and joined faster than he could even hand them a uniform, then I was worried about the future of this region. But, if it were that easy, maybe I should consider starting an organization? It would certainly make up for all the money I spent on pokeballs - dozens of which were still in my backpack, as Mewtwo had kindly been caught pretty quickly compared to the insane amount I had purchased.
"Can we just get on with the battle?" I called back to her, pulling her out of her confused stupor, "Let's make it quick, alright? I've been in this city for long enough. I'm ready to get the hell out of here!"
Saffron City was nice - well, it was nice if you ignored all the Team Rocket grunts who had been harassing me throughout my stay here - as far as cities went, but I wasn't eager to be here any longer. My badge-speedrun had been detoured a bit, both by catching Mewtwo and the events in this city, so I was eager to get the Marsh Badge, get out of Saffron City, and go back to grinding up badges. At this point, I'd spent more time here than the rest of my entire time in this world combined, and I was ready to leave.
"R-Right, let's go," Sabrina nodded firmly, her facial expression becoming dark again as she became deathly serious, "I have… seen your future… and you won't win-"
"Just throw out your pokemon, damn it!" I sighed, lashing out with my arm as I tossed my own pokeball forward. It slammed into the ground, cracking open as a small green creature popped out.
"Ivysaur!"
"R-Right! Go, Abra!" Sabrina answered, lashing out her arm and sending her pokeball to join the battlefield. It cracked open, and a small Abra popped out from it.
Usually, I would've waited for my opponent to send out their pokemon first, and then counter it with my own, but right now… I didn't really have a need to. Sabrina only had psychic-type pokemon, as while her teams in the games ranged anywhere from Alakazams to Venomoths, Sabrina had already revealed her pokemon to me prior to entering Silph Co. I had told her it was so we could better synergise in any battles we fought in, but that was only half the truth, as it also allowed me to come up with a plan for this gym battle.
Her entire team was psychic-types, which I had no way of countering with my current team, as psychic was the most broken typing in this region for a reason. The only counters to it were bug, dark, or ghost - none of which I had on my team right now. I could've gone and grabbed a bug-type specifically for this gym, but… I had some level of shame. I wasn't going to walk into this battle with a damn Caterpie!
And, I didn't need to either. I hadn't been certain what Sabrina's team would be, but after she revealed it to me, I was very happy with the outcome. It matched her team in Yellow, as it was simply the evolutionary line of Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam. The latter two of the three were very concerning and would be very difficult to take down, but the first? An Abra that could only teleport, and possibly use Flash?
She was practically begging me to set up on her. And, setting up was exactly what I would do.
"Growth," I called out simply to Ivysaur, and his body glowed as the return of Buffasaur, now simply Buffysaur after his evolution, began. His limbs became more defined, and his muscles pressed outwards as they bulged and expanded.
At this point, this was usually where I'd be all like 'Sabrina's going to make this brilliant move, so I better be careful to counter it!' but, since I already knew that Sabrina was much less intimidating than she seemed, instead I didn't get any of my hopes up. And, I was proven to be correct by Sabrina's first move.
"Abra! Use Teleport!" Sabrina shouted, jutting her finger forward as she dramatically pointed at her Abra, "Get in close!"
Her Abra glowed bright for a moment, and then vanished, blurring out of existence as if he was Goku using Instant Transmission, and then appeared directly in front of Buffysaur. I had to be impressed, because Sabrina had a very limited amount of moves she could've made, and yet she ended up on what was potentially the worst possible result. She only had Flash and Teleport at her disposal, and yet, ordering Abra to teleport to close range was the worst possible move. If I weren't trying to set up here, then Buffysaur could just vine-whip the hell out of this Abra without fear of missing, and she'd be onto her next pokemon already.
"Growth, again!" I ordered quickly, and Buffysaur completely ignored the Abra sitting a few feet in front of him, and just glowed with a bright light. His muscles tensed, then twitched as they expanded again, and he reached +2 in both Attack and Special Attack.
"Alright, Abra! Teleport again! Get behind Ivysaur this time!" Sabrina 'countered' my move, and I just looked at her blandly. Why didn't she just do that in the first place? What was the point of teleporting in front of Buffysaur, and then behind him? She could've just ordered Abra to go behind from the start! This was a top-tier gym leader?!
"One last Growth!" I ordered in response, having no shame in taking advantage of her poor orders. However, I didn't plan to reach maximum Growth this time, because I wasn't actually aiming to sweep the whole battle with Buffysaur. Instead, he just needed to get through Abra and Kadabra, as Alakazam was a whole different monster.
No matter how incompetent Sabrina was, she was still one of the hardest gym leaders to defeat purely because of her team. It was hard to lose with an Alakazam, regardless of whether you were giving it terrible orders or not. That went doubly for this region, where there were very few counters, aside from weak Bug-types, for Psychic-types.
"Abra, use Flash!" Sabrina ordered this time, and I blinked, as I was actually a bit impressed. I shouldn't have been, as when her only other option was to use Teleport again, Flash was the obvious choice here. But, I'd been around trainers in this world enough to realize that the obvious choice wasn't always the one they took.
Abra's body glowed brightly, expanding out in a flash of bright light that made me have to raise my hand and cover my eyes. Luckily, the move only lowered accuracy by one stage, though that would be a bit annoying for my tactic against Alakzam. I'd need to get lucky-
I blinked away the light as it faded, and then mentally slapped myself as I stared at the result. Somehow, even when using the only useful move Abra had, Sabrina had managed to make it useless because… she just Flash'd me. As in, Abra had teleported behind Buffysaur, so the Ivysaur had his back turned to him. And, as a result, hadn't even seen the flash of light.
"O-Ow! My eyes!" Though as Jessie stumbled around behind me, rubbing at her eyes, the rest of us had definitely experienced the attack.
"I-Is she going to do that again? Red, let me get behind you!" I glanced over my shoulder blandly as Misty rose from the small, wooden bench that was seated a few feet behind me, and then crouched down right behind me to shield herself from the light.
"You can just close your eyes, you know?" I told her blandly, but then turned back to Buffysaur and gave my order, "Use Vine Whip!"
Now, the time to set up was over. I could've let Buffysaur reach max power, but I figured this was enough for Abra and Kadabra, as the latter had a pretty low Defense stat.
In response to my words, Buffysaur's vines shot out from his back and then slammed forward at Abra. They slammed into the small creature harshly, and I watched with a bit of pity as it was literally picked up off the ground and then flung through the air. I glanced upward, watching as the Abra soared over my head like a shooting star, before it slammed into the floor behind me head-first, and with a loud 'conk' sound, was knocked out.
"Oh, no! Abra!" Sabrina shouted, reaching down to grab a pokeball and recall Abra, "A-Ahem, I mean… the future shows you will regret that… Go, Kadabra!"
Well, if she hadn't messed up the line, that would've actually been a bit intimidating. But, her next pokemon actually was a bit intimidating, as she chucked forward a pokeball and the taller form of Kadabra appeared.
"Kadabra!" Damn, Kadabra has voice lines? I really needed to push my Ho-oh Weedle to evolve now, because he never said anything to me! Or, did he just not like me?
"Razor Leaf this time, Buff- ah, Ivysaur!" I caught myself before the inner thoughts came out, and Buffysaur just nodded as the plant of its back flexed, and then seemingly out of thin air, a flurry of glowing leaves shot forward at the Kadabra.
They launched forward, crossing the gap between Buffysaur and Kadabra quickly, and then slammed into the spoon-wielding pokemon. Luckily, despite Razor Leaf being pretty low-power, Kadabra had a low Defense stat, and as a result, stumbled backwards in pain from the blow. For a second, I thought that one attack would be enough, but it quickly reoriented itself.
I clicked my tongue in annoyance, as it seemed I should've had Buffysaur use one more Growth - though, even then, with the level difference, I wasn't sure if Buffysaur could get the 1-hit KO - but it wouldn't matter much in the end. While Kadabra had a huge Special Attack stat, it probably wouldn't be enough to one-shot Buffysaur, so my plan was still intact.
"Kadabra! See into the future, and heed my command!" Sabrina shouted out dramatically, and I just looked at her blandly. What the hell kind of order was that? She didn't even say a move!
But my eyes widened as Kadabra's body glowed, and then a wall of pink light appeared in front of him. Did he just use Reflect?! Was this Kadabara actually better on his own than with Sabrina, so he used a good move when she said a bunch of nothing?! This Kadabra was damn smart!
Either way, it wouldn't matter right now. But it could make taking down her next pokemon, Alakazam, more difficult, even if it wouldn't help Kadabra much, as Reflect cut the damage of physical Attack moves in half.
"Use Razor Leaf again!" I ordered quickly, and another barrage of sharp leaves shot forward, which slammed into Kadabra and finished him off. Even with the damage being reduced, the Razor Leaf was too much for the Kadabra to handle, and he fell onto his back with swirls in his eyes.
"Hah… my visions of you were not false, Red," Sabrina muttered ominously as she recalled Kadabra, and I just gave her a dry look, "You are a brilliant challenger…"
"I know you can't see the future, remember? You don't have to keep up the act," I deadpanned, and her face became tinged red as she grabbed another pokeball.
"S-Shush! Show him that his loss is already set in stone, Alakazam!" She shouted dramatically, launching forward another pokeball as she did, and this time, an Alakazam popped out of it.
"Sleep Powder!" I ordered before Sabrina could say another word, as it was time to put my true plan in motion.
Now, Buffysaur just needed to survive long enough to land some status moves. Sleep Powder was a pretty low-accuracy move, so there was a good chance this missed, in which case I'd have to improvise. If Buffysaur survived an attack, then I could try again, but if he couldn't, then it would be time to continue with plan B. Unfortunately, he didn't learn any Special Defense or Defense boosting moves yet, so this part was completely up to luck.
Luckily for me, Buffysaur seemed to have the Clutch Gene in his DNA, as a cloud of powder shot from the plant on his muscular back and made direct contact with the Alakazam. The opposing double-spoon-wielding pokemon blinked a few times, its arms starting to go limp, before it slumped forward. It fell to the ground, and in an instant, the extremely powerful pokemon was put to sleep.
"Good work, now, for the next part," I grinned widely, pointing forward dramatically, "Ivysaur, use-"
"Good job, Red!" I blinked, being cut off as a large pair of breasts pushed into my back, "You won! You really beat her with just one pokemon!"
Alright, I know my companions are a bit dumb, but this dumb?
"The battle isn't over yet!" I hissed back at Misty, but looked over confusedly as Sabrina raised a pokeball and recalled her Alakazam.
"Ah, you beat me fair and square, Red," Sabrina sighed, a lot of respect in her eyes as she headed towards me, "I don't lose often… your future looks very bright… a-and I'm not just saying that this time!"
I blinked, looking confusedly at Sabrina, as I was genuinely taken aback, "W-What are you doing? The battle isn't over yet!"
"Huh? What do you mean?" Sabrina tilted her head at me curiously, holding up the Marsh Badge as she did, "Alakazam was my last pokemon, so you won."
"B-But, he wasn't knocked out! He was just asleep!" I pushed back, silently wondering why I wasn't just taking the victory, but the overwhelming sense of anticlimax and disappointment was outweighing my desire to take the badge.
"When a pokemon is unable to battle, then he's out," Sabrina just responded simply, tilting her head at me, "So… you won."
Seriously? But, he wasn't unable to battle! He was just asleep! He'd wake up in a few turns… er, there weren't really actual turns in this world, but he'd wake up soon, right?
"...No, I didn't," I groaned, already feeling a headache coming on, "I had so much more planned! It can't end like that! You're telling me I can win any battle by just using a sleep move?!"
The implications for that were insane! What was even the point of battling if I could just spam Sleep Powder?!
"I think it's stupid too, Red, but you should just take the badge," Joy muttered as she stepped up to my side, giving me an unhelpful shrug, "A win is a win, right?"
"B-But… my plan… I was gonna use Poison Powder next… and then you would be all like 'what?! You can't use two status moves at once like that!'" I fumbled out, looking incredulously at Sabrina, "Then, I'd be all like, 'who's gonna stop me? I just did!' T-Then, I'd whittle down Alakazam, and if he woke up, I had this whole strategy with Pikachu! But, now, the battle was so boring! Alakazam didn't even use a move!"
"Yeah, that's never happened to me before… I lost so quickly… you're really amazing, Red," Sabrina nodded, her eyes filled with a bit of awe as she blushed, and then glanced away, "Y-You're really great…"
Seriously? Out of all I said, she was only going to focus on the last part?! Even if it wouldn't be a good battle, I still wanted a semi-good gym battle, damn it! Even if Sabrina sucked, her pokemon were strong, so I thought it'd be at least a little bit tough!
"A-Actually, I know I was against it at first, but after seeing how smart and cool you were today…" Sabrina blushed deeper, not meeting my eyes as she glanced away, "I-I think I could learn a lot from you…"
I stared at her blankly, knowing where this was going, "Hell no-"
"Oooh, I'm following Red around to learn from him too, Sabrina! You should totally join!" Misty butted in, giving Sabrina a big grin, and my headache just got worse.
"W-Well, I already took a few weeks off from taking challengers, so I don't think a few more would hurt…" Sabrina trailed off, blushing deeper, and I groaned.
Somehow, I had gained another stalker.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, um… got a favorite sports team?"
"Charmeleon!"
"Oh, you've never seen any? Me too! In this world, at least. I'll take you to see one sometime."
"Charmeleon!"
"You… can you actually understand him?" I was pulled out of my conversation with Charmeleon as Misty spoke doubtfully behind me, watching our conversation with a strange expression on her face.
"Eh, kind of," I shrugged, as while it wasn't like my Charmeleon, still named Charmander, was speaking English, I could somewhat understand his intentions. There were universal expressions for emotions like happiness, so when Charmeleon was all like, "CHARMELEON!" then I knew he was happy. By comparison, if he was all like, "charmeleon…" then I could pretty safely assume he wasn't all that happy with what I was saying.
But, in this situation, I didn't need to use his vocal inflections, because I already knew the answer to the question before I asked it. Charmander had just been inside a pokeball in Professor Oak's lab up until he was given to me, so how would he be watching Pokesports?
Right now, as I was trying to 'talk' with Charmander, we were inside the Saffron City police station, and inside a pretty ordinary room with just a few chairs and a carpet. After Giovanni's seemingly abrupt exit from the city, which the guards were already attributing to him fearing their 'hydrated power' after they found another bottle of water, myself, Misty, Joy, Jessie, and Sabrina had come to the police station to speak with Officer Jenny. Or, more specifically, so I could get a reward from her!
Even if I hadn't done any battling at all in the process, something which still annoyed me even now, I had done all the work to get Giovanni to leave Saffron City. Of course, when explaining this to Officer Jenny, I definitely wasn't going to tell her about the sanity-breaking conversation I'd had with the man, or what I'd discussed with Lusamine, which had led to him leaving. Instead, I'd spice it up a bit, talk about beating him in a pokemon battle or something, and demand proper compensation! Compensation that would be, preferably, in the form of massive amounts of cash!
"W-Woah, really?" Misty muttered in response, her eyes going wide with awe, "Y-You're really amazing, Red! I knew you were a great trainer, but to have such a strong bond with your pokemon that you can even understand them?! I-I've never heard of that!"
At Misty's words, I looked over a bit awkwardly at Charmander, who was still staring at me with an excited expression. A bond strong enough that I could understand him?
I definitely wouldn't say that, as the whole reason I was talking with Charmander at the moment was to grow our bond. Up until this point, I hadn't really spent much time speaking with my pokemon, because… they couldn't talk back. Luckily, they were all pretty chill as far as Pokemon Go, and we were naturally pretty in sync.
I think it had something to do with the fact that most of them were, to be blunt, little shitheads - which I meant endearingly, because they fit perfectly with me! I hadn't forgotten the way my Squirtle, now Wartortle, had shamelessly slammed a Water Gun into the gut of a Team Rocket member in Mt. Moon, and purposely misunderstood my orders for him in the process. The thumbs-up and shit-eating grin the turtle had given me confirmed that he had, in fact, not been trying to just put out the flames covering the man's body.
Wartortle, Charmelon, Ivysaur, and Pikachu all gave off that similar mischievous vibe, which definitely made me think it had something to do with Professor Oak's lab. Beyond that, Abra didn't say much in general, because… he just kind of didn't speak. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if he had any thoughts, because he usually just stared at me blankly and teleported around. If I wanted to grow any type of bond with him, I would need to evolve him first, so I could at least communicate with him.
The final member of my permanent team was Gyarados, who wasn't all too different from the four starters. I wouldn't forget the way he constantly dragged me entirely under the water inside Cerulean Cave, when he very easily could've just not dived down into. He didn't even know Dive - he just wanted to fuck with me!
As for the other potential team members: Mewtwo, who was going batshit-crazy and trying to murder me whenever I sent him out, Growlithe, and Lapras. The last two had me reconsidering if the pokemon were the problem, or if it was my fault that they were all mischievous little bastards, because both Growlithe and Lapras were pretty normal. Growlithe was pretty much a dog that breathed fire, as he would preen under my touch whenever I attempted to pet him - which wasn't often, not because I was a dick, but because if I pressed down too hard even slightly I'd end up burning myself - and was all around an excited little creature. Lapras was much the same, as while I had only sent them out a few times over the past day since battling Giovanni, they seemed pretty normal.
"I've been telling you about how amazing Red is," Joy intervened, smirking smugly at Misty's impressed words, "But you're too late! Red's my boyfriend, so you'll have to settle for someone who's not the legendary super-trainer!"
The 'legendary super-trainer?' Did they have a version of Dragon Ball in this world?
"Red's the Legendary Super-Trainer? I think I read about that somewhere…" Sabrina muttered, her eyes wide with awe as she looked at me, and I resisted facepalming.
"S-Shut up! I-I was just admiring him! I'm not into him or anything!" Misty hissed back, but her face blushed as she glanced away shyly, "E-Even if he is kind, a-and a bit handsome, and maybe really cool, and smart, and a really good trainer, and- E-Even if he is all those things, he's totally not my type, alright?"
I looked at Misty blandly, because who was she trying to convince right now? Even if she wasn't following me around like a stalker, there wasn't a less convincing way she could've said that!
"...Right," I said dryly as she pointed a finger dramatically at me, and that only seemed to set her off more.
"D-Don't look at me like that! I'm serious, alright?! I'm serious!" She huffed, not meeting my eyes as I smirked lightly, deciding to tease the woman a bit. She was the one following me around all the time, so a bit of revenge was justified, right?
"Really? That's too bad, because…" I stood up abruptly, turning around as I locked eyes with her, and then leaned forward so my face was closer to hers, "I really like you, Misty."
"W-What? You do?" Misty stuttered back, her face instantly turning beet-red.
"Yup. I mean, how could I not? You're beautiful, kind, s-smart," I couldn't resist the urge to stutter as I said the last part, which was definitely not true, at least pokemon-battle-wise, as I leaned forward and my face was dangerously close to hers, "You're really great, y'know?"
"W-What are, you, I, b-but, she, you," Misty's brain short-circuited as she stuttered, her face going redder than a tomato as I could practically see the smoke coming out of her brain, "Y-You, w-what are you, s-saying-"
"But, you don't like me, right? You just said so! So, it's whatever," I promptly ripped any tension from the air as I shrugged, turning back to Charmeleon as I grabbed his pokeball, and then recalled him. This was the part where Misty would go back on the defensive, blushing up a storm as she fervently agreed with my words and defended her earlier words. It was just a bit of teasing, and no harm was-
"W-Wait! I-I, um… m-maybe, you're, um, not that bad…" Misty said behind me, her face blushing heavily as she glanced away cutely, "M-Maybe, I, um, l-like you… just a bit…"
I turned back to her, blinking slightly as she confessed instead of huffing defensively. For a moment, I wasn't sure what to say, but luckily, Joy spoke for me.
"Nu-uh! You don't get to jump in now!" She huffed, puffing out her cheeks cutely at the other woman, "If I'm going to share Red with anyone, it'll be someone admirable! Like, Champion Cynthia or something! Not with someone who walks around with their ass out!"
She finished her words by reaching forward and tugging on the edge of Misty's much-too-short shorts, which constantly showcased the bottom of her ultra-thick ass to the world. There was a tinge of jealousy in her words, as while Joy was definitely packing in the thickness department, Misty was on a whole different level and was unafraid to show it.
"W-What? D-Don't be jealous just because mine is bigger!" Misty huffed, turning her attention away from her confession to glaring at Joy in a split second, "Besides, you don't get to decide that! Red does!"
"As Red's first girlfriend, I have more say in it than anyone else!" Joy shot back, crossing her arms under her large breasts as she didn't back down, "And I'm not sharing with you!"
"You can't decide that! Red says he likes me too, so what you think doesn't matter!" I suddenly felt like I might've gone too far as Misty stepped forward, wrapping her arms protectively around my head, and then smushing my face into her breasts, "Right, Red?!"
"No way! Red doesn't even know what he wants! He didn't know he wanted me until a few days ago!" Joy still refused to give in, and my head was suddenly yanked out of Misty's breasts and into Joy's large rack. "You don't want this stupid trainer! Right, Red?!"
"Yes, he does! You're just upset because Red likes my body more than yours!" Misty countered, and I was pulled back into her massive pair as she unknowingly admitted to being stupid.
"He does not! Tell her, Red, about what you were doing with my body last night!" Joy responded, and suddenly I was back face-first in her boobs.
"L-Last night? Just because you got a head start doesn't mean you're better! Right, Red?!" I was yanked out of Joy's tits again, and for the next few minutes, I discovered what it felt like to be a harem protagonist. I had no idea what kind of problem would arise from my simple teasing.
But, as far as problems went, having two sexy women fighting over me was definitely a damn good one to have.
However, I was stripped of my problem as a door at the edge of the room swung open, and the sound of footsteps rang out. I pulled my face out of Joy's breasts, looking over to see Officer Jenny, whose face was red as she saw my position with Joy.
"A-Ahem, I came here to question you about what took place inside the Silph Co. headquarters," Jenny cleared her throat, glancing away from our compromising position as I pulled away from Joy, "I heard that you played a role in getting Team Rocket to leave the city."
"'Played a role?'" I echoed her words, looking at her incredulously, "If by that, you mean I did everything to make them leave, then yeah, we definitely played a role in getting them to leave."
Now, it was time to lay it on pretty thick. I was definitely annoyed that the law enforcement in this city was so incompetent that a rookie trainer had to do their job for them, but with how incompetent everyone in this world was, I wasn't actually that upset about it. It was expected. But Officer Jenny didn't know that, and if I wanted to milk out all the rewards I could from Saffron City's taxes, then I needed to go a bit over the top here.
"Ah, right. Thank you for your assistance," Jenny nodded curtly at my words, raising a clipboard and pen that were in her hands, "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to make a report of what happened."
"Of course, I would be glad to! I'll be pretty detailed, so make sure to write down everything, okay?" I smiled sweetly at her, and she nodded again as I continued, "First, because the Saffron City police department is so incredibly useless, to the point where they can't even stop the grunts mugging people on the streets, I had to take matters into my own hands. We took down probably around… fifty grunts, before even entering the building."
Fifty grunts? That wasn't even close to the true number, as I'd defeated around ten, maybe twenty at most, grunts throughout my time in Saffron City. But Officer Jenny didn't know that, and she never would-
"Fifty? Was it really that many? I think it was only around-" Jessie started to question, but then was cut off as I quickly clamped a hand over her mouth.
"You got all of that, right? Make sure to put down 'useless' in italics," I told Officer Jenny, who shot me a shaky, blushed glance in return.
"A-Ah, well, I'm not sure if I should write down all of that… I-I'll just put that you defeated all the grunts," Jenny said as her smile became very strained.
"Sure, sure. Ah, then be sure to include that, because the police in Saffron City have no respect for businesses in the area, the Silph Co. building had been invaded by around… two hundred and fifty elite Team Rocket members," I nodded sagely, and Jenny's eyes went wide at my words.
"T-Two hundred and fifty elite members?!" She sputtered, and I simply nodded again.
"Were there really that many-" I pushed my hand over Jessie's mouth again as I nodded quicker.
"Two hundred and fifty. Luckily, with some help from Gym Leader Sabrina, I managed to defeat all the elites, and at the top of the building, took down their leader," I continued, pushing past Jessie's words, "It was a tough battle, as he had four powerful, legendary pokemon on his team, but I managed to overcome him. Right, Sabrina?"
"...The future and the past are but a line," Sabrina responded wisely, and I looked at her blandly, but luckily, Jenny seemed to have completely bought all of it.
"T-Two hundred fifty grunts, and then a team with legendary pokemon? That's incredible!" She breathed out, looking at me with awe in her eyes, "I-If you hadn't come here, then we would've never been able to get through that! They could've taken over the entire city with that much firepower!"
"Yup. If you think about it, I saved the entire city, didn't I?" I nodded sagely, stroking my own ego as I played up my actions, "It's a pretty big deal, right?"
"Indeed! It's a huge deal!" Officer Jenny nodded rapidly, her hair bouncing around as her eyes were still filled with awe, "You saved the whole city! You're an amazing trainer!"
Good, she was buying all of it! Now, it was time for the finishing blow.
"Yup, a massive deal. And, for doing the city such a huge service when the police failed to do so… I think there should be something done in return, y'know?" I grinned at Jenny, holding up my hand as I created a circle with my fingers for the 'money symbol,' "If you get what I'm saying?"
"Y-Yes, you're exactly right," Jenny nodded at my words, her back going stiff, and her face turning a bit… sad? She was about to misunderstand what I was asking for, wasn't she?
"As an Officer of Saffron City, I'm ashamed that we had to rely on an unaligned, rookie trainer to save the city! I'm not fit to protect this city any longer!" Officer Jenny said loudly, reaching up as she snatched the hat off her head, "You're right about something needing to be done! I'll resign right now!"
I stared at the woman blandly, instantly regretting trying to be coy with my request, and not just outright asking for money.
"That wasn't what I meant," I deadpanned at her, deciding that I needed to clear this up before it went too far, "I meant I need something. As in, for saving the city, I need something in return! Not that you need to quit!"
"Ah, yes, you're completely right. Quitting right now wouldn't be the right move. Instead of admitting to my failures and giving up, I need to make up for them!" Jenny's tune changed instantly, her eyes becoming alight with a passionate fire.
I sighed in relief at her words, as it seemed like the misunderstanding was cleared up pretty quickly. Now, I would ask for my money, and then get the hell out of Saffron-
"As a reward for your brave actions, Red, I'll give you a personal police escort for the rest of your journey!" Jenny shouted dramatically, pointing her finger at my chest as she did, "I'll escort you until you finish the gym challenges, and all the way up until you challenge the Elite Four! W-Wait, in fact, that's not enough! I'll escort you all the way until Team Rocket is dealt with for good!"
I stared at Jenny blankly for a moment, wondering how this situation had come crashing down on me again. I felt like I had planned it out pretty well, and then executed that plan just as well. I bigged myself up, exaggerating my actions while also shitting on the law enforcement in Saffron City, and put myself in a prime position to be rewarded. This was a situation where I should've had a ton of leverage, and yet, as Jenny looked at me determinedly, I felt like I didn't have any at all.
"...Right, but, think with me here, what if, instead, you didn't do any of that?" I asked as nicely as I could, a very strained grin covering my face, "Y'know, what I did wasn't really that great now that I think about it. Instead of a police escort, I think a cash reward would be fine."
"A cash reward? After all the money you got from defeating so many Team Rocket members, any amount we could offer you wouldn't be satisfactory!" Jenny shot back, shaking her head as she was suddenly dead-set on being fair to me, "I'll ensure you get your proper reward, Red!"
"W-Well, you could at least tell me the number, and we can see if I think it's enough or not," I tried again, my grin becoming even more strained as my eyebrow twitched in annoyance, "Now that I think about it, I think I used up all the money I got from Team Rocket already, so whatever you can offer me will be fine."
"You used it all up already?" Jenny blinked, raising an eyebrow at me doubtfully, and then leaning forward as her eyes became passionate again, "You didn't get robbed, did you?! The Hero of Saffron City getting robbed is unacceptable! I'll set someone to look into it, but this is all the more reason why you need an escort! Criminals love preying on talented rookie trainers like you, Red! And, with your history of defeating Team Rocket, I'm sure they'll target you!"
"Robbed? No, no, not at all. I never have to worry about that. In fact, I feel super safe and secure, no matter where I am, and definitely don't need a police escort," I tried again, my eyebrow twitching more as Jenny wouldn't back down, "I just used it up celebrating at the bar earlier."
"You went to the bar without me? You weren't hitting on other women there, were you?!" Joy hissed behind me, and I had to hit her with the 'are you fucking kidding me?' stare before she backed down, realizing that I was lying.
"Still! Just money won't be enough," Jenny crossed her arms under her sizable breasts, pushing them upwards as she shook her head sternly, "You saved the entire city, Red! Even a statue wouldn't be enough! So, I'll personally ensure you get a police escort for the rest of your journey."
I looked at her dryly, and it became impossible to hold any type of polite smile on my face, even a strained one. Was she seriously not going to back down about this? I didn't need another woman following me around! I just wanted some money, damn it! It was time to backpedal a bit.
"Ah, well, now that I think about it again, I think there were a lot fewer Team Rocket members than I said," I started, nodding sagely as I did, "Actually, I think there were only, like, twenty or so. So, what I did wasn't really that impressive. Right, guys?"
I glanced back to my companions for assistance, and instantly regretted it as Joy gave me an exaggerated wink.
"Oh, Red! You're always so humble!" She said loudly, her words sounding clearly fake as she shook her head rapidly, "Officer Jenny, he's always downplaying himself like this! It wasn't even just 250 Team Rocket members - it was over a thousand!"
"O-Over a thousand?!" Jenny's eyes went wide, staring at me in awe again as I groaned, and Joy just nodded rapidly.
"Yup! So, personally, I think you should give Red the police escort, and a cash reward!" Joy nodded sagely as she finished, as if she thought long and hard to come to that conclusion, "For over a thousand Team Rocket members, that's the least you guys can do, right?"
"What the hell are you doing?" I looked at Joy blandly, not even trying to hide my words from Jenny, as I gave Joy an incredulous stare.
"What? I thought we were lying to get more rewards!" Joy whisper-shouted back, raising an eyebrow at my look, "Isn't that why you looked at me like that earlier? Because I messed up the story by asking about the bar?"
For a moment, I just looked at Joy blandly, as she was technically right. I had been playing up the story big-time to get more rewards, but now I was getting too many rewards! But I couldn't be mad at her for not realizing that, as in her eyes, a police escort probably sounded pretty nice. I figured she would get along great with Jenny, since they were both from families that shared the 'everyone looks similar' trait, and as a former stalker herself, I was sure Joy could relate to Jenny's motivations.
"Yeah, well, now we're getting too much," I sighed, turning back to Jenny, "Seriously, you don't need to do all this, alright? At this point, I don't even want a reward!"
Stacks of cash would certainly be nice, but at the expense of having another woman follow me around everywhere? I had already gained Sabrina as a follower in Saffron City! Preferably, I don't go around picking up women from every city, but if I really had to, couldn't we at least limit it to one per city? Two was definitely too much!
"Red, you saved the city, so I won't let you leave without a reward! That's final!" Jenny shot back, stamping her foot on the ground as her eyes were still alight with passion, "I'll go submit this report right now, and then get everything ready!"
"Wait, you really don't need to…" I trailed off as Jenny completely ignored me, promptly stomping out of the room determinedly with the clipboard still in her hands, "Damn it. If we leave now, do you think we can get far enough before she realizes?"
"With her Arcanine? I doubt it," Joy replied simply, but gave me a strange look, "But this is a good thing, Red! Now, if those Team Rocket guys bother us again, we'll have an officer with us!"
"An officer who couldn't even arrest one grunt," I deadpanned.
"W-Well, that might be true, but we're still getting a cash reward, right?" Misty butted in, her lips curving up into a slightly greedy grin, "Hehe… I hope it's big, because I could use some more clothes!"
I looked at her blandly, looking up and down her standard outfit, which she always wore. New clothes? Was she just going to buy more of the same outfit?
My shoulders slumped as I realized that a good portion of the reward was going to, in fact, be spent on useless clothes.
"Oh, me too! I think white suits me better, but I needed to get promoted to get that outfit!" Jessie nodded rapidly, glancing down at her Team Rocket grunt uniform, which she was still consistently wearing, "Now I can just buy it!"
My shoulders slumped further, but just when I thought it couldn't get worse, Joy spoke up.
"Hmm… I've been needing a new apron as well," She nodded sagely, and even Sabrina piped in.
"I could also go for a new skirt!"
On that day, I learned that my challenges in this world would never come from pokemon battles.
Instead, they would come from the increasingly large number of women around me. And, soon, I would learn that I had an even bigger problem coming my way. What could be the only thing harder to navigate than a group of women following me around?
Fame.
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AN: Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be posted in 1-2 weeks!
Or, this story is updated twice as often on Patreon.com/Koyon ! Up to chapter 26 is posted on there!