Tsunade dragged her exhausted body through the doorway, her shoulders slumped and her steps heavy.
She deeply regretted her earlier decision. Why had she volunteered to help at the hospital? She had sacrificed her precious rest time for nothing. If she had known it would be this tiring, she would have followed Orochimaru all the way to the Land of Tides instead.
"Orochimaru… we're going shopping. Why don't you stay home and rest?" Orochimaru asked gently when he saw how tired she looked.
"Tired? Who's tired? I'm not tired at all!"
In an instant, Tsunade straightened her back, forcing herself to appear energetic.
There was no way she would allow Uchiha Hikari and Hyuga Mio to take Orochimaru shopping without her. No matter how exhausted she was, she couldn't show weakness at a time like this.
"Don't push yourself too hard," Orochimaru said calmly.
"Orochimaru, are you trying to stop me from going with you?" Tsunade put her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
"If you insist, don't regret it later," Orochimaru replied helplessly. He had meant well, but she clearly misunderstood his concern.
Regret?
She regretted it immensely.
Now standing on the bustling street, clutching a large grocery bag to her chest, Tsunade felt her arms trembling. If she had known they were only buying groceries, she would have stayed home, watched television, and rested properly.
"You regret it now, don't you?" Orochimaru asked with a faint smile.
"No…" Tsunade answered reflexively, though her face betrayed her.
Orochimaru quietly took the heavy bags from her arms.
"Were there many patients today?"
"Yes," Tsunade replied with a sigh. "Most of them were members of the Akimichi Clan who took the Red Pepper Pill from the Tricolor Pills during battle."
She recalled how those normally plump Akimichi warriors had become thin and frail after the pill's effects wore off. Although Orochimaru had modified the pills to reduce their lethality, the side effects remained severe. Once the Red Pepper Pill's power faded, the user temporarily lost the ability to fight.
Many of the rescued shinobi were injured and completely incapacitated after the pill's effect ended.
"Ah! Brother Orochimaru!"
A cheerful voice interrupted them.
Nawaki came running toward them, waving excitedly.
"Nawaki, your sister is right here!" Tsunade complained. Why had he greeted Orochimaru first instead of her?
Not this kid again… Uchiha Hikari frowned slightly, clearly displeased by Nawaki's constant attachment to Orochimaru.
"Grandma Mito," Hyuga Mio greeted politely as Uzumaki Mito approached with calm, measured steps.
"Sister, I saw you too," Nawaki said with a mischievous grin.
"Grandma Mito, Nawaki, I'll prepare a wonderful dinner tonight," Tsunade announced.
"That sounds lovely," Mito replied with a gentle smile. "A few drinks wouldn't hurt, would they?"
A subtle glint appeared in her eyes.
Grandma Mito's Unusual Plan
At the dinner table, Uzumaki Mito kept refilling Tsunade's sake cup.
"Tsunade, you've grown up without me noticing…" she said warmly.
Grandma… are you trying to get me drunk?
A hint of suspicion flickered in Tsunade's eyes, but she dismissed it. It was rare to see her grandmother in such high spirits. Refusing would only dampen the mood.
Orochimaru, however, noticed something strange. The sake bottle in Mito's hand seemed unusual. From one side, clear water poured out. From the other, actual sake.
An absurd thought crossed his mind.
Impossible… surely not.
"Brother Orochimaru," Nawaki said eagerly, "our teacher asked us about our dreams today!"
His expression practically screamed, Ask me what mine is!
"Really? What's your dream, Nawaki?" Orochimaru asked with a small smile.
"When I grow up, I want to become Hokage like my grandfather!"
Nawaki declared loudly, his cheeks slightly flushed from excitement.
Hokage…
That was the last thing Orochimaru desired.
Uchiha Hikari's eyes flickered with faint disdain at Nawaki's bold declaration. Since Orochimaru did not care for the title, neither did she.
"Sister Hikari, don't you think I can become Hokage?" Nawaki asked, noticing her look.
"I don't know," Hikari replied calmly. "Whether you can become Hokage depends on your own effort."
She truly did not care.
"If Nawaki wants to become Hokage, he'll need to work much harder," Orochimaru said gently, patting the boy's head.
"I will! I'll definitely become Hokage!" Nawaki raised his fist with firm determination.
"That's the spirit!" Tsunade cheered, slightly drunk.
Hyuga Mio finally understood.
Grandma Mito was deliberately trying to recreate the circumstances of Tsunade's previous drunken confession.
The Uzumaki women were frighteningly proactive when they set their minds to something.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it," Hyuga Mio said, standing up.
When she opened the door, she saw a red toad wearing glasses.
"Are you Jiraiya's summoned toad?"
"Greetings. I am Gama Kosuke. This is a letter Jiraiya asked me to deliver to Orochimaru."
The toad tossed the letter into her hands, waved casually, and vanished in a puff of smoke.
On the Battlefield
Elsewhere, Jiraiya sat in a trench covered in a protective gel-like barrier that blocked Earth Release attacks from Suna shinobi.
He stared at the soldier pill in his hand with visible reluctance. No matter how many flavors they created, eating too many made them unbearable. He longed for real food.
Lighting a fire to cook would reveal his position. Even sensor ninjas could not maintain constant vigilance without rest.
"I wonder if Gama Kosuke delivered my message…"
He leaned back, staring at the stars and moon. As usual, his imagination drifted toward certain… curvaceous inspirations.
"Hehehe…"
A soft sound interrupted him.
"Just as I expected. The skirmishes should be ending around now."
Orochimaru's figure appeared at the edge of the trench.
"OROCHIMARU!"
Jiraiya nearly leapt up in excitement.
Orochimaru silently unpacked several containers of food.
"If the stalemate with Iwagakure continues, you won't have to remain on the battlefield indefinitely," Orochimaru said.
Rotations would be arranged. Shinobi needed rest. Without it, even the strongest would deteriorate.
"Thank you!" Jiraiya exclaimed, eyes shining as he devoured the meal.
At this moment, even the most beautiful woman walking past would not distract him.
"By the way," Jiraiya said between mouthfuls, "how does the village plan to handle the jinchūriki situation?"
"We're waiting for Sunagakure's response," Orochimaru answered. "They haven't harmed Konoha's intelligence agents. That suggests they may be considering peace talks."
Sunagakure's behavior was ambiguous. They eliminated some foreign intelligence operatives, but not Konoha's.
"Do you think they'll send an envoy?" Jiraiya asked.
"Very likely. The jinchūriki are secondary. The Tailed Beasts are invaluable to them."
Meanwhile, far away in Sunagakure, the Third Kazekage sat before an untouched meal.
He could not decipher Konoha's intentions. Sunagakure could not afford a prolonged war. Their resources were strained, and even the Wind Country's Daimyō was considering budget reductions.
They had no choice but to consider negotiation.
Back at Home
"Orochimaru… why does it feel like Grandma is trying to get me drunk? Hic…"
Tsunade sat on a small stool, swaying slightly as Orochimaru gently washed her hair.
"It's obvious she wants to recreate the last time you got drunk," he replied calmly.
He lathered shampoo through her hair with careful movements.
He truly had not expected Grandma Mito's methods to be so bold. To advance their relationship by secretly switching sake with water…
The Uzumaki women were indeed formidable.
"What do you mean? We're already progressing too fast!" Tsunade protested, cheeks flushed.
They had already kissed many times.
Far more than Mio and Hikari.
Orochimaru simply sighed softly.
Tonight, the household was lively. On the battlefield, tension simmered. In distant villages, leaders calculated their next moves.
The world was shifting.
And at the center of it all stood Konoha—balancing war, diplomacy, ambition, and… a slightly drunk Tsunade swaying under the careful hands of a patient Orochimaru.
Advance Chapters avilable on patreon (Obito_uchiha)