Cana felt her chest tighten.
Kazu turned toward her again. "You've seen both sides. What's your call?"
Her thoughts scattered instantly.
'I can't.'
The answer came too fast.
Cana lowered her cards. "I'm not making that decision."
Erza stared at her. "Cana—"
"No," Cana said, firmer now. "I won't."
Kazu studied her, surprised. "Why?"
She laughed once, short and humourless. "Because choosing means owning the consequences."
Her grip tightened on the cards. "I've been here before. It's not the first time we have faced such a situation. Remember the Anne mission or just the recent Halphas mission. People died. Sometimes, because someone chose. Sometimes, because no one could choose."
Her eyes flicked to Kazu.
"And every time," she continued, "you stood there and took it. The blame. The looks. Like it was just… part of the job."
Her voice wavered. "I don't know how you do that. And I'm not pretending I can take such responsibility."
Kazu's eyes widened. 'Responsibility?...' His internal turmoil, that was caused by the realisation of his indifference, subsided.
'That's right. I can take responsibility.'
Though either in Anne's or Halphas' mission, Kazu wasn't held liable directly for the many deaths due to the helpless situation, that certainly wasn't the case for other missions he had done previously.
He had taken wrong decisions before and had caused multiple deaths of innocents.
He had also faced the families of those people.
'This world is not a rose-tinted world like Cannon, where nobody dies. People do die, pretty frequently, due to the actions of mages. Many in the guild have faced such a situation. Being naive would one day break them.
Though veterans aren't naive, most of the newbies, including my generation, are like that. Previously master generally used to allocate the missions, so if something goes wrong, the master generally takes responsibility, especially for those newbies, so that the guilt won't consume them for their actions.'
5 years ago, Kazu still had some form of emotions for people unrelated to him.
However, after countless missions, getting multiple innocents killed, he had faced multiple types of consequences—
Be it the venomous words of those family members or physical assaults, Kazu had remained unmoved, maintaining his indifferent expression.
Behind his expression, he once felt something. But, over the years, it started fading, until 5 years later—
he was left only with his indifferent expression.
'I would bear the responsibility. The master couldn't bear it forever. It's my way of repaying him and the guild.' Kazu resolved in his heart.
Erza's expression softened, conflicted. "So you'd rather freeze."
"I'd rather not lie to myself," Cana replied. "If I choose, then every death after that is mine. And I don't know how to carry that."
'If I went along with Erza's plan, what if the people of the town die? How would I face their family members? If I agree with Kazu, then how would I face the parents whose kids would die?' Cana's heart was beating fast, conflicted beyond measure.
Taking such a decision means bearing responsibility for her actions. She would rather not make such decisions. She might be able to somehow face the families of other people, but what about facing herself? Could she live with such a scar if things went wrong?
This was also the reason, despite countless lives being lost in Halphas' incident, she remained mostly indifferent to it.
Not only was she powerless to make such a decision then, but even if she had the power to make such a decision, she would rather not.
'Kazu's right. If I do make a move, then there's a high chance that both kids and the city people would be injured, instead of just the former.' Erza clutched the hilt of her sword tightly.
The situation was hopeless. She was powerless to save those children. She remembered the praises she got when she became the S-rank. However, now those praises just seem mocking.
What S-rank? She lacked the power to save those children.
The barrier rang again, louder now.
That was when a crowd reached them.
A woman clutching a child's torn sleeve, knuckles white. A man standing too still, eyes hollow. Another who spoke too fast, words breaking apart under their own weight.
"They took them—"
"My son, please—"
"You're Fairy Tail, right. The strongest guild—"
Cana felt her throat close. Erza's grip on the hilt of the sword tightened further. Veins popped on the back of her hand.
This wasn't a theory anymore. These were people close enough that she could smell sweat and dust, see how hope clung to the parents despite everything.
"Please don't worry, everyone. We will do our best to save your kids." Kazu faced them before speaking up with a calm, indifferent expression.
The mob slightly calmed down.
"Wait, isn't it Kazu Sukehiro?"
"Fiore's youngest S-rank? Isn't that redhead the newest S-rank from the guild?"
If normal mages could be considered rare for the common populace, then S-rankers are legendary.
"With 2 S-ranks, they would definitely save the kids."
The mob finally calmed down.
"Yes, everyone. We will do our best to save the kids, so please now follow the evacuation procedure of the city." Kazu said again with a light smile, reassuring the crowd.
His words caused the crowd to feel relief, but to the two behind them, those words felt like a knife passing through their heart.
They knew that Kazu was just saying that to calm them down. He hadn't even lied, saying 'they will do their best'. The crowd didn't know that the two S-rankers they were highly talking about were just as powerless as they were in this situation.
Suddenly, Cana remembered one of the conversations she had with her father once.
--
Cana lay sprawled across her bed, one leg hanging off the side, staring at the ceiling blankly. Empty bottles were stacked neatly near the wall, such that one gentle pressure on any of the bottles would cause all of them to crash.
Gildarts had claimed the couch, boots still on, arms folded behind his head. He was thinking of the next mission he would be leaving for soon.
'I want to take on that 100-year quest, but I can't just leave Cana alone, at least not leave with how she is now... I wonder when she will grow up.'
"Kazu's already S-rank level," Cana said suddenly. "He's what—nearly fourteen? Same age as me."
She clicked her tongue. "Stupid, right?"
Gildarts snorted. "Stupidly strong, yeah."
She turned her head toward him. "At this rate, next year either Erza or Mira will pass the trial."
A pause.
"…Guess Fairy Tail's just broken."
Gildarts chuckled, but it didn't last. "Those three are strong," he agreed. "No doubt about that."
Then his tone shifted.
"But passing the S-rank trial," he continued, "and actually realising you're S-rank—those are two very different things."
Cana frowned and rolled onto her side. "What's that supposed to mean?"
He didn't answer immediately. The couch creaked as he adjusted, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
"The difference," Gildarts said slowly, "is that the latter understands how powerless they really are."
Cana blinked. "…Powerless?"
She pushed herself up on one elbow. "Wait. S-ranks are supposed to be the top, right? The monsters. The ones who don't lose, unless it's another S-rank."
"They lose. Even without having their opponents as S-rank." Gildarts said flatly.
Cana stared. "They… aren't invincible?"
He shook his head once. "Not even close."
Then, almost casually, he added, "Forget S-rank. You, kids, aren't even proper mages yet."
"Oi," Cana protested. "That's rude."
"It's accurate," he shot back. "Those three have been through hell since they were kids. Real fights. Real losses."
He recalled the details he had read in their file.
"And they still think strength means control."
Cana didn't respond. She just listened.
"In my head," Gildarts went on, "Erza's strength comes from discipline. Mira's power is innate. Both of them still believe there's a 'right' way things should turn out if they are strong enough."
He exhaled through his nose.
"Kazu's different."
That caught her attention.
"He already got rid of that naivety," Gildarts said. "Old man complains about him all the time. Says the kid's extreme. Cold, sometimes."
A faint smile tugged at his lips.
"But he's not wrong. Kazu understands something early."
Cana swallowed. "What?"
"That he can't save everybody."
A beat.
"And that someone always pays."
The room went quiet.
Cana stared at the floor, fingers tightening slightly in the sheets.
"So what," she muttered, "we're all just idiots until we break? Can't you just become so strong that one day you can save everybody?"
Gildarts turned his head toward her then. His gaze was sharp, but not unkind.
"No," he said. "You're idiots until you choose not to be. Even if you one day become the strongest, the path there would be paved with many corpses. The choice is whether you want to reach there with your sanity or not."
He sat up, resting his elbows on his knees.
"Cana," he said, voice lower now, "you should grow up."
She didn't answer.
She lay back down, eyes on the ceiling again, but this time she wasn't relaxed.
''Grow up,'' echoed in her head.
--
***
A/n: With this chapter, we have surpassed 200k words of this story. After TCE, this is my longest fic.
Cheers.
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