She looked annoyed.
And flustered.
And very, very red.
I wasn't supposed to look this embarrassed.
It wasn't even that cold outside, but my face felt like it was boiling.
"Miki, stop talking," I muttered, tugging my hood up even though we were still inside.
Miki gasped dramatically. "NEVER. Not when I've DISCOVERED something."
Haruka crossed her arms, giving her the "don't exaggerate" stare. "Miki, calm down. Aya's embarrassed."
"Yes," Miki whispered loudly, leaning close to my ear. "Because she was WALKED HOME… BY SOMEONE SPECIAL."
I pressed my palms to my face. "It wasn't special."
"It WAS!" she insisted. "Haruka, back me up."
Haruka nodded calmly. "Statistically speaking, Aya has never accepted an umbrella from anyone. Ever."
I groaned, sliding down the wall a little. "Stop keeping statistics on me."
"I don't," she said. "You're just predictable."
That somehow made it worse.
Miki poked my cheek again — a dangerous habit. "Ayaaa, your cheeks are SO red. Is Rei that pretty in person?"
I choked on my own breath.
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT."
"But you thought it!" Miki declared triumphantly.
"I didn't!"
My voice cracked. Haruka raised an eyebrow. Miki gasped like she'd just witnessed a miracle.
"Oh my god. You did think it."
"No— I— That's not—" I sputtered.
Why was my face burning?
Why couldn't I breathe right?
Why did last night keep replaying in my mind like a video I couldn't pause?
Rei holding the umbrella…
The soft look in her eyes…
The way she said Goodnight, Aya like she meant it.
Ugh.
I crouched down, covering my face with my sketchbook. "I hate both of you."
"You love us," Miki sang.
Haruka nodded. "It's true."
"I DON'T," I snapped.
"You do," they responded in unison.
I dropped my head onto my knees.
Miki wouldn't shut up.
"So, Aya," she said, kneeling to be eye-level, "when Rei smiled at you, did you—"
"NO."
"You don't even know the question yet."
"It's NO."
Haruka tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know… Rei is popular. Kind. Smart. Pretty. Talks to everyone. Smiles a lot."
"She… does," I muttered before catching myself.
Both girls froze.
Haruka's eyebrows lifted.
Miki inhaled sharply like she was about to scream.
I slapped my hand over her mouth immediately.
"DON'T. YOU. DARE."
"mmph—mph—mmph!"
(She was absolutely trying to scream anyway.)
Haruka tilted her head. "Aya."
"No."
"Aya."
"No."
"Aya."
I exhaled sharply. "…What."
"Do you like her?"
I went completely still.
Then I said, too quickly, too loudly, too pathetically:
"NO."
Haruka stared at me.
Miki stared at me.
Even the pigeons in the courtyard were probably staring at me.
I swallowed hard. "I mean— I don't— I barely know her."
"She walked you home," Haruka said.
"She held the umbrella over you," Miki added.
"And you drew her," Haruka continued.
I curled into myself. "Shut up… shut UP."
My face was on fire. My heartbeat wouldn't calm down. I didn't know what this feeling was supposed to be — irritation? Embarrassment? Something worse?
Rei's smile flashed in my head again.
And my chest tightened.
"Ughhhhh," I groaned, covering my entire face with my sketchbook.
Miki gently patted my back like I was a suffering animal. "Aya, sweetie… it's okay to like someone."
"I DON'T," I yelled into my book.
"Yes," Haruka said calmly, "that is exactly what someone who likes someone would say."
"STOP."
Miki giggled. "You're so cute when you panic."
"I'M NOT PANICKING."
"You absolutely are."
I slammed my head lightly into the wall.
I wished the rain would come back and drown me.
Then Haruka nudged Miki and pointed toward the opposite side of the courtyard.
"Aya," she said softly.
"Don't look too obviously, but… someone's looking at you."
My entire body froze.
Someone?
No—
Not someone.
Her.
Rei.
Standing by the windows of 2-A.
Watching.
Her friends were talking to her, but she wasn't watching them.
She was… watching me.
My heart stopped.
Miki whispered, "She's staring HARD."
"Shut up."
"She's walking toward the window now—"
"Shut UP."
"Aya, she's literally smiling—"
"SHUT. UP. MIKI."
I pulled my hood over my head, hid behind my sketchbook, and marched straight back into the hallway so fast it looked like I was fleeing for my life.
Because I was.
Because my face was too hot.
Because my heart was beating too fast.
Because Rei looking at me felt—
Too much.
Way too much.
I hated it.
I didn't hate it.
I hated that I didn't hate it.
I hated—
…whatever this was.