"Johanna?" Alec called to the unconscious girl. "Johanna can you hear me?"
Johanna grumbled as she tried to open her eyes.
"Well she's not dead, that's a good thing right?" A strange voice asked.
"Where am I?" Johanna asked groggily.
"The infirmary." Alec answered. "Isabelle and Magnus are here." He warned, willing her not to speak of her angelic predicament.
"The Magnus?" Johanna asked hoarsely.
"I think she's a bit delusional as well." Alec growled.
"You're delusional." Johanna retorted, trying to no avail to prop herself onto her elbows.
"Maybe it was just wishful thinking." Alec mumbled.
"Jeesh what are you guys, 12?" Isabelle asked rolling her eyes.
It was then that Johanna finally noticed Magnus, standing silently as the two shadowhunters quarreled with one another. She could see why Alec liked him, at least from a physical stand point. The guy was stunning, albeit a bit feminine looking. His eyes were what caught Johanna's attention first, golden, almost like Ithuriel's, not as vibrant but just as beautiful, like a cat's, with specks of green that almost made them sparkle. His skin was brown, but like the color of caramel, soft and even, giving Johanna the impression he was of Asian descent.
"Well she looks fine to me." Magnus finally spoke. "You do realize I am the high warlock of Brooklyn right? Not a doctor and I usually don't make house calls, at least not any you all can afford."
"I'm sorry," Isabelle began. "I didn't know what else to do, she was bleeding everywhere and unconscious when Alec brought her in here and I just panicked."
Johanna could feel her stomach forming knots once again, causing a shooting pain to radiate throughout her body, and she knew she was going to be sick. Quickly she heaved herself over the bedside, making it just in time.
Johanna stared down at the pool of blood on the floor as she wiped the rest off her mouth. This is bad, she thought. Really bad.
"It's finally happening." Ithuriel spoke solemnly. "Your body is becoming too weak to contain me. I'm afraid there's not much time left."
Great. Johanna replied silently.
"That doesn't look fine to me!" Isabelle gasped, running over to Johanna's bedside and gently rubbing her back.
Magnus pursed his lips for a moment, taking in the siblings' worried faces.
"Fine, I'll see what I can do." He finally replied.
"Isabelle, go find Jace, tell him what's happening." Alec ordered.
"But I-"
"Just go Izzy, please."
Isabelle frowned at her brother for a moment as if she were going to retort, but instead gave Johanna one last rub on the back, and walked out of the room begrudgingly.
"Johanna." Alec said gently, taking a seat on the bed next to her. "I know what's happening, and Magnus, he may be able to help."
The pain in Johanna's stomach had now made its way to her head, throbbing so uncontrollably, it was hard to make out anything Ithuriel may have been saying to her.
"What's going on here?" Magnus asked.
"Do you trust me?" Alec asked, ignoring Magnus' question. "Do you trust me that I trust him?"
The pain became so unbearable for Johanna, making it too difficult for her to overthink this. She barely knew, well actually, didn't know this Magnus at all, but she trusted Alec, and if Alec trusted him, then so would she, end of story.
"Yes." She managed to say.
Alec jumped up from the bed to face Magnus, what was he supposed to say? Where would he even begin?
"She's an angel." Alec said, deciding to go with short and sweet.
"Well if you say so, I on the other hand would have to get to know her a little better before-"
"An actual angel Magnus." Alec sighed, rolling his eyes.
"You're kidding right?" Magnus smiled slyly.
"Do you think I would kid under these circumstances?" Alec replied, his face hard as stone.
"And you expect me to believe that?"
"Yes! I expect you to believe that, I expect you to believe me. I wouldn't lie to you."
Magnus studied Alec's face for a moment before saying, "Fine, what do I need to do? What's happening to her?"
"The angel's name is Ithuriel, Johanna isn't really him, she's a vessel or something, but they're bound together, and he's beginning to weaken her."
Magnus' gaze fell on Johanna, who was now curled into a small ball a top the bed, her head clasped tightly in her hands. Slowly he walked up to the bed and hovered his hand hesitantly over her.
"There's so much power radiating off her." Magnus mumbled to himself, his hand beginning to shake nervously as he gently placed it onto Johanna's head.
As soon as the contact was made Magnus could feel the rush of energy explode throughout his body causing him to let out a sharp gasp. Suddenly memories began to flash into his mind, memories that were not his own, but that of the girl's. He could see her as a small girl, scared and alone, could see as she descended down the steps of the dark passageway. He could feel her heart beating rapidly, fear consuming every part of her small body.
And then Magnus saw him. He was bound in a circle of runes, beaten and broken, and so thin it seemed almost impossible, yet still so beautiful. His heart tightened in his chest as an overwhelming sadness enveloped him, and felt as the tears began streaming down the young girls face.
"Leave now." The angel spoke to her. "Leave now child before he finds you here."
"No." The girl sobbed in return. "You are too beautiful to be trapped here in the darkness."
The girl reached out and gently placed her small hand upon the angel's disfigured face.
"Let me help you." She whispered.
Magnus was suddenly pulled back to the present, sadness still aching in his heart. Never had he seen something so incredible in his life. The girl had thought the angel to be beautiful, yet Magnus saw the true beauty was within the girl, so innocent, so pure. Magnus had lived for quite a long time but never had he seen such beauty packed within such a small child. How could a girl so small know the meaning of such sacrifice? The questions swirled relentlessly through his head.
Suddenly Magnus realized the tears that he had felt running down his face wasn't just the girl's but also his own.
"Magnus?" Alec questioned. "Are you okay? Can you do it?"
Magnus wiped the tears roughly from his face and tried to push whatever emotions the angel stirred within him away in order to concentrate on the task at hand. Without answering Alec's question, Magnus placed a shaky hand a top the girl once again, hoping this time another freaky, angelic vision wouldn't invade his mind, and it didn't, the angel must have wanted Magnus to see the truth, and now, he must want him to save the girl just as bad as Alec did, which if he was being totally honest with himself did incite a twinge of jealousy knowing that Alec cared enough about the girl to be so frantic about her health, but that was just utterly ridiculous thinking, especially at a time like this.
Pushing away the distracting thoughts once again, Magnus conjured up his healing spell with as much power as possible, and watched as it coursed through every limb of Johanna's body.
Johanna's breathing grew quieter as the pain slowly began to subside. Finally able to remove her hands from her once throbbing head, Johanna let out a long sigh of relief.
"You did it." She exhaled.
"Don't count your blessings just yet my dear." Said Magnus.
"What do you mean?" Alec asked, crossing his arms over his taut leather jacket. "She looks healed to me."
"I merely cured the symptoms, not the problem I'm afraid."
Alec shot Johanna a worried look as he took in Magnus' words, which Johanna returned with a dumb, lopsided smile, that reminded Magnus of a face Jace had probably made once or twice.
"What do we do then?" Alec asked, returning his gaze back to Magnus.
"I will go back to my place and try to find whatever I can on this, you," He said, turning to Johanna. "Try to take it easy."
"Alec, Johanna!" Jace called as he burst through the infirmary door with Clary and Isabelle not far behind.
"About time." Alec mumbled.
"Hey you." Jace said, walking up to Johanna's bedside. "How you feeling?"
"Feeling great, thanks to Magnus." She said, throwing a brilliant smile in Magnus' direction.
Jace shot Alec a nervous glare which Alec returned with a reassuring nod.
"Well, if you'll excuse me I think my work here is done." Magnus said as he began to take his leave.
"I'll uh, walk you out." Alec called, jogging in behind him as he exited the room.
"I think I'm aware of all of the exits." Magnus smiled wryly.
"I-uh-I wanted the thank you, for helping us." Said Alec as he stuffed his hands into his pocket.
The twinge of jealousy that Magnus felt earlier managed to wriggle its way back into his chest. Help 'us'? He thought. Of course he knew he was being tremendously absurd and he was much too old for such petty jealousy, but something about the way Alec protected the girl, the way he looked at her, gave Magnus a feeling he hadn't felt in centuries.
"And here I was thinking I had only helped the girl." He said, not able to contain the harsh feelings that had managed to somehow consume him.
"Excuse me?" Alec said. Magnus could see the confusion evident in his beautiful face, just looking into those piercing blue eyes was enough to make Magnus melt, but the other part of him wanted to make Alec break, make him admit whatever feelings were beginning to blossom for his angel girl.
"Well, you said thanks for helping 'us', and I just wasn't aware you two came in a package."
"We don't." Alec said coolly.
"I'm just going to cut to the chase here Alec, you care for her."
Alec scoffed. "What are you talking about Magnus? Where is this even coming from, that I asked you to save her?"
"I just want you to admit it to me."
"Of course I care about her, she's my friend." Alec almost chocked out the last word. If Johanna would have heard him say that she was his friend, he didn't know if she'd ever let him live it down.
Magnus gave him a small smile as he cupped Alec's face gently into his hand. "They say that love is blind, and that may be true, but an even truer statement is sometimes, we are blind to love."
And with that, made his way down the long corridor to make his exit.
"Magnus!" Alec called. "Magnus wait!"
"Don't worry." Magnus called back, "Her secret is safe with me."
And then he was gone, leaving Alec confused, and a tad bit hurt, standing in the dark hallway alone.
Alec lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with Magnus' words still swirling in his head. He didn't understand what made him think such things about himself and Johanna. Of course Alec cared about her, felt responsible for her even, but Alec felt responsible for everyone at the institute.
Not Clary. A voice rang out in his head. No, you don't feel responsible for Clary, in fact you down right despise her. He thought to himself, but that was only because of his feelings for Jace and nothing more. Or was it? The voice questioned again. Here you are, without those feelings, supposedly, and yet, you still don't like her.
It's because she's reckless, headstrong, and terrible at following the rules, yet, so is Johanna, they are sisters. So why are you partial to Johanna? He thought. Could Magnus be right? Could Alec be developing feelings for her? No. No Magnus can't be right. He's never had feelings for a girl in his life, and besides, he liked Magnus, he wanted to be with Magnus.
Suddenly a knock came at the door and he instantly knew who it was. It was finally clear to Alec how creepy it was that he was able to sense her presence. Alec momentarily contemplated not answering. With everything that Magnus had planted in his head today, he wasn't sure if he could even face Johanna. But was it fear of acting strange in front of her, or fear of what he might feel if he did see her?
"Alec." Her voice came from behind the door, so softly that he wasn't sure he even heard anything.
Letting out a long whistled sigh, he pulled himself off of his bed and made his way sluggishly to the door.
"What is it?" He asked opening the door, causing Johanna to jump slightly from her crouched position.
"Were you trying to look through my keyhole?" Alec asked, surprised.
"No." She retorted quickly. "Why would I do that? That would be weird."
Alec rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here, other than spying on me?"
Johanna scratched her head nervously. "I-um, couldn't sleep." She finally replied.
"And that's my problem why?" Alec replied dryly.
"It's not, but, I mean you weren't asleep either so I just thought-"
"And how exactly could you have known that?" Alec questioned suspiciously.
"Because,"
"Because you were spying."
"Because Ithuriel told me!" She sighed.
"That seems like an unfair advantage." Alec said, furrowing his brow.
"It is what it is." Johanna smiled, pushing herself into his room.
"So," She said taking a seat in the plush leather chair near Alec's bed. "Why can't you sleep?"
Alec let out a long defeated sigh before shutting the door and returning to his spot on the bed.
"Right now you." He huffed.
"Oh ha ha, just answer the question." She pried.
Alec sighed. "It's Magnus, something he said."
"What did he say?" Johanna insisted, resting her chin on her knees as she looked on expectantly.
"He-he thinks I have feelings for…for…" The last words wouldn't come out he realized as he stared blanklessly at the same spot in the ceiling as earlier.
"For Jace?" She finished.
"Sure, yeah, for Jace." He decided to say.
"Well don't you?" She asked, remembering their earlier conversation.
Alec contemplated her words for a moment, of course she didn't really know that they were actually talking about her, and not Jace but still he had no idea how to answer her.
"I thought I didn't, since Magnus came along he's all I've ever thought about but then today he mentioned it, he was so persistent about it."
"I hate to say it but, if you really didn't have feelings for Jace anymore, then it wouldn't be bothering you so much."
Anger bubbled up in Alec's stomach because he knew her words were true, but he hated it, he hated that her words were true because that meant he really didn't know who he was. He had been so confused for so long, so tormented by the fears of not knowing who he truly was inside, Jace had been the very first person he had developed feelings for, and that made it that much worse. How was he to know those feelings were real when he couldn't act on them out of fear, fear of losing his friend and fear of losing his family. He knew Clave law, he knew what they thought about people like him, so he tried to fight it, tried to fight who he thought he was for so long that he just became even more lost.
Years of self-hatred, not able to look at himself in the mirror, and then Magnus came along and taught him that it was okay to be different, that being different didn't mean you were a monster, finally got him to accept himself for what he was, gay, a word that Alec chocked on so many times before, and now, now all of a sudden she comes along and throws all of Alec's progress out the window. He's back at square one again, just like he was when he was in love with Jace, terrified, confused, and most of all angry, angry at her, angry at the world, and most of all angry at himself for being so screwed up in the first place.
"Just get out." He managed to say, in the least hostile tone he could manage, because as angry as he was at the moment he still didn't want to hurt her, which made him even more angry.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Please Johanna, just go." Alec said, clenching his jaw.
"Alec what's wrong?" She questioned, concern evident in her deep blue eyes.
"Johanna!" Alec finally snapped. "I'm tired, and I've had enough of you today already, so will you please just leave and let me sleep!"
"Oh." She said hoarsely, causing Alec to glance in her direction, which he regretted as soon as his eyes met hers. She was hurt obviously. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes, causing them to ripple like the tides of the ocean. Her hands were knotted into fists at her side, and her face was flushed, something Jace's face would do when Alec scolded him, meaning she was hurt and angry, even if she was trying to hide how hurt she really was, which made Alec feel instantly guilty.
"Sorry, I keep forgetting how we aren't friends." She finally said, making her way to his door.
Alec didn't say a word as the door slammed behind her. He knew he had hurt her, even if he didn't want too. She wasn't the person he hated, it was himself he hated, and it seemed the only way to hurt himself was to hurt the people he cared about. It was for their own good anyway.