Aren chuckled quietly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well, I can't blame her. Remember when we were kids? You kissed Eva right in front of her and then told Kate that she was too boyish for someone to ever fall in love with her."
Kael's eyes widened as the memory came flooding back, and he had to stifle a laugh. "Oh gods, I did say that, didn't I? She was what, fourteen? And I was probably eleven or twelve?"
"You were brutal," Aren grinned. "The poor girl turned bright red and ran off crying."
"Well, what can I say," Kael whispered back, the memories still vivid in his mind. "She really was boyish back then. Always trying to act tougher than the boys."
"Well, I don't know what she ate over the years, but look at her now," Aren said, stealing another glance at Kate.
Kael followed his gaze and had to admit his friend had a point. Kate had indeed grown into an attractive young woman, even if her personality remained as prickly as ever. The features that had seemed harsh in childhood had refined into something more striking, and she had certainly developed in ways that made it impossible to call her boyish anymore.
"Yes, she is one heck of a girl alright," Aren continued with appreciation. "Perfect everywhere it matters, if you ask me."
"Boys, sleep!" Tanya's sharp whisper cut through their conversation. She was lying on a mat nearby, clearly trying to get some rest despite the circumstances.
Aren grinned and leaned closer to Kael, lowering his voice even more. "Want to rate the village women while we're stuck here with nothing to do?"
Kael raised an eyebrow. Even in the middle of a crisis, Aren was still Aren—always ready to find distraction in the most inappropriate topics.
"Seriously? Now?" Kael whispered back.
"When else are we going to get the chance? Besides, it'll keep our minds off..." Aren glanced toward the door, where they could hear Arthur's voice giving instructions to the guards. "...other things."
Kael had to admit, a silly distraction might be exactly what they needed to stay sane after everything they'd witnessed.
"Alright, let's go then," he whispered back with a grin. "But quietly."
Aren's eyes lit up with mischief as he shifted closer. "Obviously. So... where do we start?"
"How about... Mrs. Helena from the bakery?" Kael suggested, thinking of the mature, cheerful woman who always gave them extra bread.
"Kind face, but built like a flour sack," Aren whispered with a barely suppressed chuckle. "Maybe a four out of ten? She makes great bread though."
"Fair assessment. What about... oh, the merchant's daughter? Clara?"
"Clara..." Aren considered. "Pretty eyes, nice smile, but she has got that nervous energy. Always in her own world. Maybe a six? Seven on a good day?"
They continued their whispered conversation, moving through various village women - the blacksmith's wife ("Strong arms, but intimidating"), the tavern keeper's daughter ("Sweet, but too young to really judge"), and several others.
"The lady knight," Kael whispered eventually. "The one stationed here."
Aren's expression grew more serious, though still playful. "Dame Elara? Now that's a woman. Strong, confident, knows how to handle a "sword"... definitely an eight. Maybe higher if you're into the warrior type."
"Which you are," Kael teased.
"Guilty as charged. There's something about a woman who could probably kick my ass that's... appealing."
They eventually worked their way to Eva and Kate.
"Eva's easy," Aren said with genuine appreciation. "Beautiful, kind, that awakening today just made her glow even more. Solid eight, maybe nine."
"And Kate?"
Aren glanced over at Eva's sister, who was now lying with her back to them. "Objectively? She's gorgeous. That whole stubborn, masculine thing she does... some guys would find that attractive. Seven, maybe eight if she ever smiled."
"Too bad about the personality," Kael muttered.
"Your fault for traumatizing her as a kid."
They moved on to the Village Head's wife, Meredith.
"Now we're talking," Aren whispered, his voice taking on a more appreciative tone. "There's something about an older woman who knows exactly who she is..."
"You have a thing for older women, don't you?" Kael observed with amusement.
"Guilty. There's just... experience there, you know? Confidence. A woman like Meredith has lived, raised children, managed a household. She knows things." Aren's voice carried genuine admiration. "Easy eight, maybe nine."
"I have to agree," Kael admitted quietly. "There's something really attractive about that kind of... maturity."
"Right? Like, she could probably teach you things you didn't even know you wanted to learn."
They both fell quiet for a moment, lost in their respective thoughts about the appeal of experienced women.
"Speaking of which..." Aren's voice dropped even lower. "Arthur's wife."
Kael felt his pulse quicken slightly just thinking about Seraphina. "She's..."
"Incredible," Aren finished. "I mean, objectively speaking, she's probably the most beautiful woman in the village. Maybe the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"That figure," Kael whispered, remembering how her dress had hugged her curves. "And those eyes..."
"The way she moves," Aren added. "Like she's dancing even when she's just walking. And that voice..."
"Definitely a ten," Kael concluded.
"Easy ten. Maybe beyond the scale entirely." Aren paused. "Though there's something about her... I can't put my finger on it."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Something in the way she looks at people. Like she's seeing more than she's letting on. Could be nothing, could be... something."
Kael nodded thoughtfully. Given everything they had learned about Arthur, maybe Aren's instincts about his wife weren't entirely misplaced.
"Boys!" Tanya's voice carried a sharper edge of warning this time. "I can hear you whispering. Go to sleep!"
They both immediately went quiet, grinning at each other in the darkness like schoolboys who'd been caught passing notes.
But despite the playful distraction, Kael's mind kept drifting back to more serious concerns.
Still, for just a few minutes, rating village women with his best friend had almost made things feel normal again.
Almost.