I couldn't stay in that pathetic state for long. I needed to get out, to move, to breathe—
to think without drowning in myself.
A little walk around the Dark City.
Yeah. Just… a little walk.
I stepped out of my home, still invisible beneath the Starlight Cloak, its light bending around me. I stayed hidden until I was far enough in the Dark City that no one would bother trying to stop me.
"Gluttony. Release some blood."
Not a request.
An order.
"Alucard… I don't think this is a good idea."
Gluttony knew what I intended on this walk.
Knew it was a horrible idea.
"Gluttony. Release the damn blood."
I didn't have the energy to argue.
With clear reluctance, Gluttony obeyed. Something slithered under my skin—then tore outward, a red-black slurry bleeding through my pores. Blood followed. More than anyone should ever see.
"Alucard, listen—"
I muted him. If he had something valuable to say, he could save it for later. Right now, I needed silence.
---
Alucard walked.
Across the streets of the Dark City.
Covered head-to-toe in blood.
He didn't look human.
He didn't even look undead.
He looked like a monster wearing a corpse's skin.
The Starlight Cloak, once pure white, now dripped in dark crimson—no trace of elegance left. The same with his armor. Blood clung to the metal like it wanted to drown it. His face… that was the worst. No smile. No frown. No anger. No sadness.
Just an empty expression.
A face that had forgotten what emotions were supposed to feel like.
A face belonging to something that no longer saw people as people. They were ants. Worthless. Fragile. Beneath him. Their lives had no meaning, no weight. Why would a monster mourn stepping on an ant? Why would a monster feel betrayed by one?
A monster kills because it can.
A monster punishes because it wants to.
And that was the thought echoing in Alucard's mind as he massacred through the Dark City. He walked calmly, peacefully, cutting down anything that dared to exist in his presence.
Another ant caught his eye—running away. Fleeing. How dare it? The audacity. It should be kneeling. Begging for a painless death. Not insulting him with the idea of escape.
Blood lashed out like a whip, snaring the creature. With a single thought, flames erupted—crimson fire vaporizing corpse, ground, stone.
Alucard didn't check what it was.
Didn't care.
An ant was an ant.
He walked.
Killed.
Walked.
Then he sensed another creature. Time to unmute Gluttony.
"STOP KILLING, ALUCARD, DAMN YOU!"
Gluttony's rasp tore through his mind.
"Shut up and give me my blood."
Alucard's voice held no emotion.
"No. At this rate, Alucard—wherever you go, a path of corpses follows. And at the end of that path the only thing you'll find is your own damn corpse—"
"Give me my blood, Gluttony."
Still empty.
Still hollow.
"It's not too late!" Gluttony shouted. "You can still go back. Eat. Sleep. Cry. Be depressed like a normal person! Stop acting like you're some monster who can't be reasoned with!"
"And what am I then," Alucard whispered, "if not a monster?"
"I don't KNOW! But think of your family. What would your mother say if she saw you like this? What about Rain? Yuki? Sara? Effie? Kai? Hell—Seishan! You have people to fight for! So stop trying to kill yourself over NOTHING!"
"Nothing…?"
Alucard's voice cracked, a tremor of rage beneath it.
"You're telling me everything I've endured is NOTHING? I have so much trauma I forget half of it! Since the infection my life has been hell! Every time I care about something, it gets ripped away! I'm at my breaking point! And who are YOU to lecture me? You're just my pet—a glorified storage memory who grew morals! I thought you'd ENJOY this slaughter! Look at all this blood I got for you!"
His voice dropped, cold and painful.
"Why do you even care about me? Just shut up and give me my goddamn blood."
Silence.
Thick, suffocating silence.
Then:
"…Here. Take all the fucking blood. And mute me while you're at it. I'm done trying to reason with you."
A surge of red burst over Alucard's body, coating him in a new layer of gore. Gluttony emptied every drop he had. Blood rained from his skin like a waterfall, forming a lake beneath him.
Alucard walked.
Consumed it.
Killed more.
Finally, he sensed humans.
He remembered his plan—bribing people with food and soul shards.
He pulled out a storage memory containing most of his shards, grabbed a nearby nightmare corpse, and approached.
"Hello."
His voice was ragged. Broken. Barely recognizable as human.
Three awakened stood before him. Two women. One man. All older than him—though you wouldn't guess it looking at him now.
"R-run… quickly… it's the Butcher…"
The women sprinted away. The man tried—then slipped in the blood, collapsing at Alucard's feet.
"Why did you run?"
Alucard tilted his head. "I'm friendly. I just came to give you food and soul shards."
He tried to smile.
It wasn't friendly.
It wasn't even sane.
It was a smile too wide, with red-stained teeth and blood dripping from his chin. A smile that could make atheists pray—and then abandon their gods for allowing such a creature to exist.
"P-please… don't hurt me…" the man sobbed, trembling. "Please…"
"Why? I never hurt you. Why are you scared?"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Butcher! I have a wife—please don't kill me—!"
"I never said I'd kill you."
But the man didn't hear him.
He scrambled up and ran.
A voice rang I his ear
Gluttony's voice
It slithered back in. Alucard must have unmuted him by accident
"See? This is why you'll NEVER be accepted. They fear you now. And they'll always fear you. Just because of your past."
"What? Why are you talking—?"
"Your plan would've worked if you were a hero, Alucard."
A cruel rasp.
"But you're not a hero. You're the villain. A monster."
"Wait—no—what are you saying—?"
"Oh, Alucard… you were ALWAYS meant to be a monster. Always meant to be the villain. So why fight it? If they won't obey you out of respect—make them slaves. If Seishan doesn't love you—who cares? USE her. Her feelings don't matter. You decide when someone loves you. How DARE she throw you away? You should've broken her—made her obedient—made her—"
"NO! STOP! I WOULD NEVER—STOP—PLEASE—"
Alucard slammed against a wall, clutching his head. The pain in his skull was blinding. Gluttony writhed beneath his skin like something trying to escape.
"If no one will ever love you again, why love them?"
Gluttony's voice twisted, venomous.
"No one remembers heroes. But everyone FEARS villains. Leave your mark on this world—scar every human alive. That way, every time they look at their scars… they'll remember YOU."
"STOP—PLEASE STOP—"
Alucard's voice broke.
He couldn't take anymore.
He was shattering.
Then—
HEAT.
A surge of burning pain tore across his body, cutting through the mental storm like a knife. Fire in his veins. Agony. Clarity.
For the first time in hours—he could breathe.
Gluttony's voice softened to a whisper.
"Fine… lie to yourself, then. Pretend you're not a monster. It won't last. The end is coming, Alucard. Very soon."
Then—
Silence.
No whispers.
No thoughts not his own.
Just the sound of his footsteps as he limped back toward the outskirts. Toward home. Toward exhaustion.
Whatever caused that pain—
whatever saved him from breaking—
he was grateful.
Even if he didn't know what it was.