"If you reply now, you'll regret it tomorrow morning after you wake up… Let's just sleep, things will be fine" That was the internal pep talk I gave myself.
After that day, I didn't see the Chinese boy again.Days melted into a routine: waking up early, taking the university bus, attending classes, tutoring my students, returning home at night, doing homework,studying Chinese. I became almost obsessive, determined to excel and be Teacher Wang's favorite student. I grew greedy; I had to do everything perfectly in front of him. After weeks of exhaustion, I just lived for Friday, the day I could stare at him for two straight hours. I even knew exactly where the small moles were on his face and hands.
A few days later, Teacher Wang announced the upcoming Spring Festival Ceremony. It was the day they would give prizes and certificates to the calligraphy winners. They needed volunteers, so Alif applied.The night before the ceremony, Alif messaged me after helping the teachers prepare: "Do you know? Today I was helping Teacher Wang all day! We talked a lot. He really has such a great personality."
I felt a little spike of annoyance. My brain immediately decided: I saw him first, so he is only my teacher. I simply replied, "That's good."
The next day, the festival day, I rushed to Sayma's house early. When it came to makeup, she was the only one I trusted to get me absolutely perfect. I could feel it that day—I looked great.As Sayma and I were on our way to the university, I saw a text from Teacher Wang in the group chat: "Benny, why aren't you arrived yet?"
Alif replied, "She will come soon."
Then came Teacher Wang's reply to her, which hurt a little: "If anyone doesn't arrive on time to take the certificate, prepare someone to replace his or her position when the host calls out the winner's name."
"Teacher could directly text me, why did he say it like that?" I muttered, feeling wounded.
As soon as Sayma and I reached the university, we were waiting for the elevator when Teacher Wang stepped out.
"Oh,you are here!" he said.
"Teacher, I'm sorry I'm late," I replied.
He smiled."No problem, it hasn't started yet. Do you know where the program is being held?" I said no. "Come with me," he said.
I followed his lead, and Sayma immediately started pushing me. "Walk next to him! I'll take a picture of you with your teacher!" she whispered.
That made me laugh so hard that Teacher Wang looked back at us and asked what was so funny. "Nothing, nothing!" I replied, quickly walking faster so I could walk right beside him.
As we walked together, he told me many details about the festival. When we reached the spot, I saw Alif and the other volunteers standing in front of the gaming stalls, giving instructions. We said hello to her and took a picture of her from afar.
Sayma and I sat down on a nearby bench. A moment later, Teacher Wang came over and handed me two packets of cake, saying, "Share with your friend."
As soon as he turned away, I spun around to Sayma and started jumping, thrilled that he had given me the cakes. Sayma gave me an awkward, signaling laugh, urging me to look behind me. I turned back and saw Teacher Wang still standing there, staring right at me.
I was so embarrassed I wanted to run and hide. Instead, I forced myself to thank him again for the cakes and turned back to Sayma with a dramatic, mock-crying look.
We settled back onto the bench, and I took a picture of the cakes before eating. While I was eating, I was swaying my leg and dancing a little. I suddenly caught Teacher Wang's gaze. I immediately choked on my food.
Seeing me coughing so hard, Sayma quickly pulled out her water bottle. As I was drinking, someone's hand tapped my back. My brain immediately registered: It was Teacher Wang.
But after I finished drinking and wiped my mouth, I looked back. It wasn't him.