I was around 16 our dad died with happiness on his face. He was a man filled with joy, someone that deserved living than most people out there. Mom died while giving birth to me but even after that he never blamed me. He worked every day even weekends just so that we can live. One day I asked him:
"Dad are you scared of future?"
He had a gentle smile on his face which was covered in oil, I was to blame for asking this when he just came back.
"Future isn't something to be scared about, things will always happen you just have to leave your regrets behind."
"But what if l make a mistake I can't just ignore?"
"Then cry all you want but remember that after every pain there will be a reward. Even the worst things have a beautiful side."
A few weeks later he got me a deck of tarot cards and told me that he got it in a bet with his friends. My divinations were sometimes right and sometimes wrong yet it felt nice having something to depend on.
I divined his future as well. It was the reversed sun. I had no idea what it meant yet it felt true, he was my sun that lit up my life.
Me and sister never had a pretty close relationship. She came and brushed my hair every day yet mos of the times we didn't see each other. I don't think she blamed me for what happened maybe she was just a silent person.
"Sis do you believe in divination? Would you like me to show you the future?"
She had a weird look on her face almost filled with anticipation. It made me feel so happy, it wasn't every day that l could see her smiling like that.
I did the divination and she asked for the card to be reversed. It was the star card.
After the divination before l could even explain it she took the card and thanked me with gratitude. I didn't want to say something it is not like my divinations will always be right.
I went to the church school of the brave heavenly sun for 8 years before graduating like most of us. I didn't go to university even though l was accepted to the Reichmon university. I wanted to study literature but dad was getting older and weaker, I didn't want to be a burden anymore. I started working in a factory making toys at the age of 14. I loved my job by any means, it was dirty and ugly yet at least I felt like my dad for the first time. It was as if I was paying my debt to him after years of leeching off him.
Hair of a doll is the most fun part, almost feels like sewing. Placing the cogs inside those princes feels nice as well. It is like a children's puzzle. Every cog has it's place like the society.
I met a boy called Alfonso there. Black short straight hair and brown eyes. He was a bit taller than me and always wore a white stained shirt that was too large for his body and sometimes a donkey jacket. We talked sometimes after our shifts and it was great having a friend. He always talked about how we were being used because of our dire situation and our age. I knew he was right yet this factory was the only one near my house that didn't require me to take the public millipede so l wasn't going to push my luck.
I divined him too. It was the reversed wheel of fortune. Why did you do it Alfonso it is all your fault not mine.
One day the boss learned that he talked to a rather popular author about the conditions we face and this author released a certain short story about us in the news.
They tied him up and tore his clothes apart before pulling the air compressor out. He was torn apart inside out. I just stood there unable to do anything as he took his last breathe. Blood dripped down from the table mixed with excrement.
They called his death a work accident.
Even then I couldn't speak up, I still blame myself because of how spineless I am. That is what l am as the cog after all.
I heard a few years later that sister got a job working for the church. This happened around when dad's sickness went from short coughs to ones leaving his hands covered in blood. Sis said if I talked with the priest of rhe church he might have a job for me that pays better than working in a factory like a slave in 14 hours shifts.
"So you must be her brother..."
It was an old man wearing a white robe with his hair tied in the back neatly. He had high cheekbones and a high nose bridge. His face wasn't reslly wrinkled even with the age and he seemed healthy by any means.
"Yes father....you must know our situation, dad is too sick to work now so I need money to take him to a doctor."
He looked at me with a sad emphatic look, it was as if he himself knew my responsibility better than me. He looked at me as if I was some kind of hero, a saint perhaps.
"I understand... you can start by helping me clean the church. We have volunteers but they are old as you can guess and can't work for long hours."
I started by helping him clean the church every day and the inner rooms every weekend. I learned a lot today especially their more secretive deeds.
Few months later dad died in his bed. This was something I knew would happen. Doctor told us that his sickness is far too deep now and there is no way to save him from this suffering. I bought him all types of different foods from other cities when l could.
I was never a good cook yet l tried my best. I sat next to his bed every day and fed him with my own hands. I took him to bathroom 5 times a day, washed him, changed his clothes. I knew he was ashamed to live this long knowing he was no more than a burden yet l never wanted him to die. He was my hero that gave me the power to face future without fear, man that become my reason of living.
When father died he was smiling. He had a simple, elegant, childish, genuine smile on his face. Not exaggerated, nothing fake. He died smiling like how he did that day. I felt a fire burning inside me, it reminded me of how everything I did all these times were for nothing. I wish l could make him smile again, my sun died.
We didn't have money to bury him so l was forced to cremate him. I poured most of his ash in beautiful places around the city and with the rest l bought some necklaces and filled them with his ash so that he can always be with us.
Sister and l became closer after dad died as if a new bond appeared between us. We started eating breakfasts together. We talked about books once in a while, I started working in other type of jobs for the church too after they learned that l was a soul user.
Instead of placing me in a unit they used me in supportive roles, using both my divinations which were enhanced with the help of God and my soul that saved captain and others multiple times.
One day father told me that he wanted me to check up on my sister because he had a slight suspicion that she wasn't taking her job seriously. He wrote an address on a yellowish parchment and l went there. It was an office with 4 floors, building looked rather new as well. It was in the lower segment of the city yet the street wasn't that bad. It seemed rather calm and lights were working too. I knocked on the door when a bald man in his early 40s he was pretty tall compared to me not that l am tall considering I am shorter than most of my colleagues. He was wearing a half buttoned shirt and loose trousers without a belt.
"I came here for my sister...I got her lunch with me....she is a secretary here you must know her."
The man stood silently for a while before sister came and told him that l am here brother. He suddenly changed after this, the serious face he had changed into one that had an almost forced, exaggerated smile. He is so bad at acting that l might have laughed if it wasn't for me holding back with all the power l had.
I gave sister her lunch and sat on the chair infront of her table. Inside looked rather beautiful, it was clean and even the paint on the walls was fresh. I could hear the faint sound of a fast jazz when he entered.
"It isn't raining am l right?"
I turned left as a door opened and he came in. Long hair long enough to reach his waist, wearing an aviator which was pretty expensive for people that didn't work in the army or in the air forced of a church. He had a weird tatoo under his eye which was simialr to that of the symbol of infinity but sideways.He walked in wearing nothing but trousers and his shoes. His torso was filled with scars, some obviously caused by fights and the rest being too clean to be caused by any weapon. He had a weird look on his face. Naive, childish, selfless, careless and higher than anything. He had the only thing l ever loved in this meaningless world.
He walked towards us while taking wider steps with the every step of his using his left leg. He looked at us and asked.
"So is this your brother you have been talking about?"
She stuttered for a bit trying to explain things and how she didn't talk badly behind me and that she just talked about general things.
"Don't listen to her, she was always like: my brother is so weird he waste all his time volunteering for people, he must value his youth too."
Sis was good at lying it seems, she told them that l volunteer at the church so that they won't get suspicious if they see her there.
He leaned towards the face of sis and placed his hand on her shoulder before talking in a dramatic voice.
"Don't worry l will take him out for today."
He straightened his back and looked at me with that beautiful smile.
"I will get ready wait for me here."
He returned after a few minutes wearing a wrinkled shirt with flower patterns on it. His weird look was that of one that would make anyone look back for a second time."
"Come on let's go!"
We went outside and started walking. There weren't many pedestrians so it went smoothly. He had a habit of bumping into me with every few steps unable to go straight. He broke the silent after some time.
"I eat 7 olives every morning."
"Pardon?"
"Every morning l eat 10 grains of rice and chew it throughly. Every afternoon l go out to eat ice cream. Expensive yes but l take pleasure from these things."
"What are you even trying to say?"
"Hmmm nothing to be honest. I do everything because l can not because they hold meanings. Let's go! We got a lot to see!"
He took me to an old building and knocked on the door a few times before pushing it open. It was an old house that was collapsed to some extend with some of the rooms completely destroyed. Inside the living room a man was painting with such speed that would make anyone jealous. His swings were perfect, you could see the whole piece slowly turn into a masterpiece with your own eyes.
"Please be silent, he hates it when there are people bothering him."
He went into the another room and left me alone with the skinny man. He was half naked wearing an onion suit covered in oily paint. It was obvious his hairline was receding and he seemed to be around 30s. He had a pretty pale skin like that of those sanguines in the novels.
I heard a loud noise coming from the other room so l rushed there. He was on the ground with one of his hands gripping his throat. He was missing one of his legs but rather it was on the ground. He looked at me with eyes filled with fear, he wasn't smiling.
"Sorry l am not used to it that's all...can you take the food inside? He will need it for sure."
I was going to help him but after hearing that l took the food inside which was just an overcooked slimy meatball a weird looking sauce that didn't look appetizing at all, such filth.
He came behind me after a while and placed a note next to the plate before going out so l followed him.
"Thank you for being silent. He gets irritated easily. I am kidding l am kidding he is deaf!"
He started laughing only to be stop and look at the sky.
"It feels bad when your joke doesn't reach the audience."
"That wasn't a joke! That was just unnecessary."
"Well yeah true but at least you saw something new. There will be a day where you won't be able to anymore, you will feel like a bird that lost it's wings."
He looked back at me with that usual smile and started walking forward again while still ranting.
"Blind people can still see but not with their eyes but with their heart. The true blind people are those that are ignorant, those who will never bite their ice-cream, those who will never bite candy apple stating that they are too old for it."
We were on the Kingsman bridge when he jumped on the railing with both of his arms open for balance. The wind struck him from the side causing him to turn his head to the right causing his aviator to fall to the river.
"I sound so weird right? I know but one day you will get me."
"Is that why you smile like that?"
"Smile? Well well was that all you wanted to ask? I took you here just because of your reaction when we first met, you weren't even breathing."
"Sorry it is just that..."
I couldn't say anything. What was l even supposed to say? There is a lot to say yet do l have the mouth to say everything? The embodiment of freedom stood infront of me, broken yet carrying that beautiful smile on his face.
"I always peel a pomegranate after dinner."
He spinned on his prosthetic leg before taking another step.
"I stuff my mouth with all of it l can as the sour taste fills me up."
He took another step before lowering his arm towards me.
"Don't you want to do things just because you can? Take that sad expression on your face and open your eyes."
I took his hand and got on the railing as well. I could hardly balance myself as he stepped forward with no care.
"Your sister is worried about you. She said she is scared that you will take your life especially after your father death."
He took a step after another, his body swayed from left to right yet he moved forward. I tried my best to follow him yet l was pretty slow compared to him.
"It is not like that... he died yes but he died as a happy man. We were really close yes yet it isn't something huge. People die every day."
"Yes they do, you are talking to one right now. I don't have much to live either. Well worry not before l go l will leave a lot to you! No everyone!"
He screamed out louder than anything l ever heard. His voice was filled with multiple emotions mixing into tears that fell from his eyes yet he kept that smile.
"Every day that you come to the office l will accompany you as long as we are not out for a job. Let's go drink some things next time. I hate hard drinks, they are just bitter so let's go light. Drinking is boring let's pour it on our faces! Let'sdo things cause we can!"
At that moment I heard a click sound as his ankle bent at the degree that shouldn't be possible. He fell down the bridge and landed back first.
"This wasn't on me you hear me! It is all because of the prosthetic! I got wings wider than what all those birds have!"
He looked around shocked before shouting.
"The leg fell!"
Day after day we met. The scars covered him more and more. It became he lost one more arm and his other let as well. Every time l saw him he looked worse and worse, pale and lifeless yet he always had that smile, I fell in love.
We talked about poets and idealogy, novels and childish stories. We met twice a week and had fun like children with our eyes open.
I asked him one time:
"Why do you have that tatoo? What does it mean?"
"I saw it all that is all. The meaning of life and death. I saw the bloody path of us all."
His smile dissappeared and he whispered something to himself which l couldn't hear properly.
Wish my sister never smiled. His hands were inside her torso. His missing arm was back and the same went for his rest. His muscles were overstimulated, contracted to their limit like a beast trying to look huge. I could hear him breathing deeply and sis whispering something as the beast ripped her apart.
She was split in half with ease, the beasts dug into her again and again pulling her insides out. Blood covered the beast as it turned to me.
I saw sis smiling with a smile that l never saw from her, so naive and beautiful as if she was unbound by it all.
He looked at me with two fluffy antennas on his head and 4 wide wings covered in small scales. Those eyes that looked as if they were made out of billion different cells.
The childish smile was gone. He was tainted! The thing I fell in love with was gone! All of it is gone now what will l do? Tell me sister what should l do? What must l do? Tell me something!
"Kill the beast that took the only thing you wanted from you."
"Yeah I am not to blame...he is the one at fault! I will rip that head off so that the smile will be with me until it rots!"
Before him was the beast. Dark blood covered his body yet there wasn't a wound on his body. He had a naive smile on his face as if he is unbound by everything.
The boy looked at the beast with tears in his eyes. This was the first time he felt true disgust, this being infront of him was still smiling naively as if it wanted to mock him, to crush his broken soul once more.
Beasts eyes never moved as if that smile was carved into the time unable to change. It just stood there as if waiting for something to happen.
Boy lifted the deck up to the sky and shouted with his soul burning with a fire no one could imagine.
"Let us burn together leaving nothing but ashes behind you f**king beast!"
First card on the deck revealed itself to be the number 14 temperance. He didn't want to discard the card even if it meant that there is a chance that he will get a card with actual destructive power that is comparable to star that was able to put that beast down once.
As the temperance showed it's face the figure of his sister coming from the effect of the star card dissappeared.
"Reverse! Temperance is an angel of balance. She lived her whole life in complete balance yet now she is blind. Blood is gushing out from those empty sockets."
Reality warped and a bloody rag appeared out of nothing and covered the beasts eyes before a crown appeared on top of it's head.
Both of the cards returned to the deck as the boy charged forward while taking his revolver out from the holster under his coat.
Before he could shoot the beast it charged forward wildly. It's arms were open and it's steps too wide and unbalanced. It's face didn't even change as it lifted one of it's arms ready to slam it down on the skull of the boy.
The boy had a wide smile on his face. He pushed forward towards the wild beast and got as close as possible. The arm slammed in his shoulder with the hand unable to reach him and the whole slam causing nothing but shaking him a bit. He lifted the revolver to the beasts neck and pulled the trigger.
Blood splattered on him as the beast fell on the ground as it's spine got pierced. It stayed silent for a while before a bloody rush of strings game out from the wound covering his neck before disappearing. The beast got up again completely healed. It had the same smile carved into time.
Boy pulled out another card from the deck that was floating in the sky next to him. Without even looking at it he fired his revolver again and again going for both of it's knees and then it's chest until he could only hear the click sound. Hollow points expanded inside the body, with each impact making the beasts body swayed as it opened it's mouth and screamed in agony.
He looked left to see the card and it was number 8 strength. He knew this would be enough to overpower it yet it was lacking the firepower he desired.
"Strength is a warrior that killed all that crossed his path but now he knows it. Power comes from both inside and outside, his heart is ablaze like his body ready to clear the path he takes."
His muscle grew at an abnormal rate as he reached and ripped apart his coat thinking it would slow it down. Veins popped out all around his arm as walked towards the sidewalk before lowering himself and grabbing the carriage that was there well before the confrontation happened. It was one of the new ones, it wasn't a millipede carriage but rather a steam carriage. It was bulky and covered in metal plates all around with even the drivers seat being inside the huge metal box.
Boy lifted car up with ease and threw it with all the power he has. The carriage went in a straight line but something was strange. The beast lowered it's posture getting ready for something. Boy knows something was off but he already accelerated the power of the strength to an extend that made it near impossible to charge in for a follow up before the car reached it.
At that moment he saw a detail he missed before, the strings. The entire street was covered with black strings covered in blood, a creation of the beasts soul. As the car touched the strings it wasn't stopped or slowed but rather something unexpected happened.
Beast threw itself up to the sky before landing again. Before it could even hit the buildings behind with both of it's hands it pulled it back using the strings like tendrils before jumping again with the car going back at the boy that smiled wildly against the mass of metal.
"The strings can't help you now!"
The boy was already beyond the limits of a human, he reached out with his arm and caught the carriage with ease as if it was no more than a crumbled piece of paper. The car crushed as it smashed into the boys left palm. He knew his body was reaching his limits and he had to switch to the next card yet he wasn't gonna let this chance go. He pulled his arm back and threw the carriage back to the beast that was still in the air.
All the windows shattered as the tank inside the car exploded when it hit the beast. Tainted black blood rained down as rubble and the beast fell down. Beast flew a few meters back before crashing down and laying on the ground like a sack.
An exaggerated smile appeared on his face yet he knew the beast was still alive. He went for the next card while still trying to understand the reason of it's mindless state.
He looked up to the deck only to see the emperor smiling. It was the number 7 chariot.
"The day emperors eyes saw those lands that was forbidden to him they became his. He ordered his army to die so that their brother and sisters can live peacefully on those lands, beautiful yet forgotten lands."
"It hurts?"
Beast touched it's torso, it was laying on the ground impaled by a long metal piece. At that moment it let out a cry filled with agony.
"Sis! It really hurts l am sorry sis... I will never stay up late l promise. I will never lie to you again, l am sorry...l am sorry!"
With a childish cry tears fell down it's face. His crumbled face returned to the smile once more as it pulled itself up using the strings that were released and stuck to the buildings around at the moment of impact.
He knew the reason of it's act, to know that he wasn't just losing control but rather losing his sense of self because of foolishness was absurd to him.
"Long live the imperator they shouted! Our blood shall pave your path!"
A bronze gladius appeared in his hand as he lowered his stance. The crown of golden petals found it's place on his head.
The beast straightened it's body and looked at the boy with the same selfless smile. The smile fell on the ground alongside the rest of the beast. Slice after slice every part of the beast fell on the ground as the sword that went past him faster than light could ever.
He stood behind the beast with his entire body covered in the filthy blood of the beast. He turned back with the black crown on his head and the wide smile on his face. He lifted his arms and let out a war cry.
Strings gushed out like water from the pieces on the ground and pulled everything together. The beast got up again as if all this never happened. The strings were weaker, it was obvious it's soul was about to hit the threshold of losing control.
"I will cut you down until that soul of yours burns out! Come back all you can l don't want this to end ever!"
From every cut that was slowly healing black strings came out and spread around the whole street like the web of a spider. By themselves they were just fragile but the speed he moved at turned each of these thin, weak strings into death traps.
Boy charged forward but then realized that the strings would cut him into pieces if we didn't get rid of them. He sliced all of the ones in his path before getting struck by something hard and losing consciousness.
"You knew that it would end like this brother, you divined it yourself."
"I know."
"Then why? Why did you go ahead and attack? You could have just stayed back or even attacked a different time and just succeed, why now?"
"My stars were unlucky that's all. All the divinations l did were mine all along. Today is the end, I will die. I will die stuck in the past unable to move forward, I will die filled with despair with the wounds in my soul still open and... and.."
"There is one more card brother. Pull it out and let the father give you the strength you need. Stand tall against the fate and move forward."
"I can't I just can't... I saw all of you as no more than cards. Forced all of you into this fake belief of mine and... and those smiles l fell in love with was just the smile of someone outside my belief. I fell in love with the thing that I could never have, the freedom."
"It is alright, worry not brother. I am your sister as you know. How can l be mad at my brother? It was my fault for not being with you, not saving you with my own hands. Now please stand up and walk in your own path. Reversed sun said it all, go beyond the freedom it told you. Let the father guide you to the thing you always desired.
With tears in his eyes he ran forward. His hands embraced the star that died long ago. Their tears mixed into nothingness as he awakened.
The beast was standing still, covered in strings with it's all it's wounds covered by them. It turned back with the same smile that was now worthless, fake, disgusting. Before him stood a true human. Selfish and worthless yet he awakened. His soul burned so hot it could melt anything and everything. His desire and purpose was fulfilled and now he was well above a normal human, he has transcended. Blood dripped down from where his left arm was supposed to be yet he smiled with a newborn determination, he was reborn.
The beast looked down at it's hand which was holding the arm of his. It lifted it up before taking another bite from the muscular arm. It threw the arm away before lowering it's stance.
"The sun!"
His soul has ascended to a new level allowing him to call forth any major arcana he wanted, he was beyond the jail of fate.
The sun revealed itself before him as the world started crumbling.
"Sun is a broken man that works day and night for his children. He never stops working yet he always wears that selfless smile. He moves forward into destruction so that his children can grow up to live their own life, because his love is eternal!"
Reality shattered as both of them opened their eyes in a new world, world of eternal love. They were standing on molten magma yet he stood with no pain. They were breathing poisonous gasses yet he wasn't effected. The beast cried in pain but knew the reason of it's pain, it got ready to attack as long as it meant that this suffering will end. Pus leaked out from all over his body as strings came out once more covering it's body.
"His love is truly eternal, it is so warm and smells so nice. Can you feel the love? You can't? That is sad but l can feel it and that is all that matters."
The figure of the man appeared out of flames. He looked up with a smile of his own and their eyes met after all the years. He could see it, he was smiling just like himself. He opened his arm and embraced his father's burning passion and love. Flame cauterized the wound as they became one.
An uniform appeared on his body shining brighter than all there is. Flashy, made out of stars. Colorful like the wheel of fortune. Filled with passion like the sun. The uniform of a Nutcracker doll appeared on his body.
"Eternal love shall burn it all and leave nothing but ashes behind!"
The beast charged forward faster than the light itself. It's hands dug into the magma to push itself further and further towards It's end.
He lifted his sabre to the sky and with one swing all ended.
The universe created by eternal love ended the same way, love burned all there is until nothingness was left. The beast burned with the fire of passion that will never extinguish as long as he lives.
"Again!"
Fire recreated it all as the sabre slashed the reality itself, becoming the end again.
"Again! Again! Again! Again!"
Again and again nothingness became everything. The beasts screamed with agony as each strike tore it apart. In the end they were on the same street. Before him stood the beast torn into million pieces with each trying to hold itself together with the bloody strings. With another cry it launched itself to on of the houses on the street while using it's torn apart body similar to tendrils.
The beast went from house to house killing all it sees trying to extinguish the fire with their blood. He ripped them apart, bit into their bowels, clawed them open yet the fire burned as bright as ever. Again and again he kicked down the walls with ease and continued it's rampage.
"It is not use fiend! Let's end this once and for all!"
Sabre dissappeared from existence as a bolt action rifle appeared out of nothing. It was made from billions of stars. The maiden made of stars hugged him from behind and put her hand over his finger that held the trigger as he slowly lifted the barrel with his only arm towards the beast.
"Let's set all the stars ablaze!"
"Our bullet shall pierce it all until the end of reality!"
With the power of all the stars that will ever exist the bullet was fired.
....
He looked down
The muscular arm was holding his heart and with one fast move it came the same way it pierced.
He looked behind with pure pain carved on his face.
"You..."