My stomach drops so fast I swear I hear it hit the floor.
I swipe the lock screen.
Alice: Ash where are you.
Alice: You didn't come home.
Alice: Answer me.
Alice: I'm seriously worried.
Alice: Are you hurt?
Alice: I'm going to the police if you don't answer in the next 10 minutes.
Alice: Ash, please. Please just tell me you're okay.
Every message feels like someone pressing a thumb into a bruise.
The guilt hits instantly, sharp and nauseating. My throat tightens. "Damn it…"
Josh looks up from his phone. "What? Did your girlfriend dump you again?"
"She's not—" I stop, rubbing my forehead. "It's Alice."
He blinks. "Who the hell is Alice?"
"My… friend." I hesitate. "Roommate. We share the apartment."
Josh's face does a full theatrical transformation:
annoyed → suspicious → offended on my behalf → offended on Lena's behalf → confused → annoyed again.
"So she's the one that Samuel creep said you were sleeping with?"
"Yes, but… no Josh! It's not like that."
Josh leans back, arms crossed, expression flat. "Good. Because I'd hate to explain to your future children how their dad died in a hotel room after cheating in five different directions."
I glare at him. "That's not funny."
"Oh, I'm hilarious. You're just too hungover to appreciate my genius."
I turn away, heart pounding, and type:
Ash: On my way. I'm so sorry.
The moment I hit send, the guilt gets worse.
Because I can feel her pacing the apartment.
I can hear her panicked breaths.
I can see her stubbornly checking every corner like she could somehow drag me out of thin air.
Josh watches me with that annoying little-brother perceptiveness he pretends he doesn't have.
"So," he says casually, "this Alice girl."
"What about her?"
"Is she important?"
I shrug, throat tight. "She's… been kind. A good friend. She helped me when I had nothing."
Josh's brows lift, just a fraction. "Okay."
Then he looks away, like he's filing that information somewhere he'll never admit exists.
I stand slowly, legs still shaky.
Josh huffs. "Don't pass out again. I'm not dragging you anywhere twice in one day."
Despite everything, I almost smile.
Almost.
But it fades the moment I picture Alice's worried texts.
And Lena's one message sitting unanswered.
And Samuel's lies crawling through the internet like toxic vines.
My chest tightens.
I grab my bag.
"I have to go," I say.
Josh jingles the car keys like he's doing me a favor he deeply regrets.
"Fine," he mutters, "I'll drop you. But only because I don't want to read your obituary tomorrow."
"That's… very caring of you," I mumble.
"Don't get used to it."
But the truth is written all over him, in the way he walks half a step ahead like a shield, in the way he double-checks if I'm steady enough to get down the hotel stairs, in the way he casually unlocks the car door and tries to pretend he didn't just flinch when I swayed.
We drive in a strange, awkward silence. The kind where the radio feels too loud and the world outside looks washed-out.
Josh's fingers drum the steering wheel. He's pretending he's unaffected.
I'm pretending I believe that.
When he pulls up in front of my building, I unbuckle slowly.
"You don't have to come up," I say.
He scoffs. "Relax. I'm not here for emotional bonding. I just want to make sure you don't faceplant on the stairs."
Which, honestly, is fair.
⟡ ✧ ⟡
We walk up to the apartment door, and I raise my hand to knock.
I never get the chance.
Because the second my knuckles are close, the door slams open so forcefully it rattles the frame.
Alice stands there.
Hair messy. Eyes wide. Phone in her hand like she was about to call every emergency service in the city.
She looks half furious, half ready to sob.
"Ash," she says, voice cracking, "you didn't pick up! You didn't tell me where you were! I thought something happened to you!"
I flinch.
Not because she's yelling, but because she cares.
Too much.
More than I deserve.
"I'm sorry," I say, quietly. "I should've called. I… wasn't thinking."
"You weren't THINKING?" she snaps. "No kidding! Do you know what it's like to live with someone who disappears without warning? I almost filed a missing person report!"
Josh whistles low under his breath. "Damn."
Alice shoots him the side-eye of someone who could kill a man with a single look.
I rub my forehead. "Alice. I'm really, really sorry."
Her shoulders drop, the anger slipping just enough to reveal the exhaustion underneath.
"Do it again," she says, poking my chest with one sharp finger,
"and I will drag you home by your hair. Got it?"
A laugh escapes me. Weak, but real.
"Got it."
Josh raises both eyebrows to the ceiling.
His face says: So she's the roommate, huh?
I'm not sure if I want to punch him or hug him.
Alice crosses her arms and finally notices him properly.
"And who's this?"
I clear my throat. "Alice, this is my brother. Josh."
She blinks. "Oh. OH."
Her entire posture changes. Less feral cat, more startled puppy. "Right. Okay. Hi. Sorry you had to witness… that."
Josh smirks, extending a hand. "No worries. I learned a lot. Mostly that my brother is incapable of basic communication."
"Same," Alice says dryly, shaking his hand.
The unspoken understanding between them is immediate:
Ash is a disaster.
And they are now united in keeping him alive.
"Come in," she says, stepping aside.
And just like that, Josh enters my world after a long time. Curious, cautious, and completely judging the chaos of my life as he crosses the threshold.
⟡ ✧ ⟡
After Josh wanders into the kitchen, sniffing around like a starving raccoon, I finally sink onto the couch. My body still feels like someone wrung me out and left me on a sidewalk to dry.
I open my phone.
Notifications explode onto the screen; memes from group chats, spam, a reminder to pay rent. But my thumb hesitates over the one name I'm terrified to look at.
Lena.