I splash water on my face until the sink starts to look like a cheap waterfall feature. My stomach still twists. My hands won't stop shaking. I keep telling myself to breathe, but my lungs are acting like they forgot the manual.
I rinse my mouth again, wipe my face with my sleeve, and stare at my reflection. My eyes look glossy, like I've been crying, even though I haven't. Not exactly. Vomiting isn't that far from crying anyway.
I pull in one more breath. Then I walk out like nothing happened.
The living room looks the same as before. Quiet. A little too dim. Like the air is waiting for something embarrassing to happen.
I think I'm ready for disgust. For judgment. For someone to say I'm being dramatic.
Instead, Alice jumps to her feet.
"Oh good, you're alive," she says, marching toward me with the exact energy of someone about to fight a corporation. "People online are calling me your sugar mommy."
She throws her hands in the air.
"Do I look like someone who gives you allowance? I can't even afford my own lunch!"
I blink. "Um—"
"And before you ask, no, I'm not offended. I'm insulted. Because apparently people think I have money." She crosses her arms, chin lifting. "I do not. I have negative money!"
Her fire softens just a bit when she meets my eyes. Not pity. Not worry. Something stronger.
"I wonder what that bastard's gonna do next," she muttered. "Inform the income tax department probably?."
Something in my chest loosens. Barely, but enough to feel like air might start moving again.
She sits next to me, close enough that I feel her presence, not close enough to suffocate me. Her shoulder is this steady weight in my peripheral vision. I don't deserve it. I don't know what to do with it.
Josh is sprawled on the other couch, one foot tapping like he's trying to keep time with a song only he can hear.
"Sooo…"
He gestures vaguely.
"When does the next episode drop? Do I need to bring popcorn, or is this a binge-all-at-once situation?"
Alice throws a cushion at him. Josh doesn't even blink as it hits his chest and falls onto the floor.
I rub my palms together, trying to stop the shaking. "Sorry you both got dragged into this."
"You didn't drag us anywhere," Alice says. "Samuel did. And the internet. And probably society as a whole."
Josh snorts. "Yeah. This generation's talent for jumping to conclusions is elite. Olympic level."
I lean back, my head touching the wall. The room feels smaller, but less hostile than it did before. I half expect Alice to inch away from me. Or Josh to tell me I'm being stupid.
They don't.
Alice crosses her arms like a stubborn little fortress. "In case you're wondering, no, I don't hate you. And no, I don't care what strangers with cartoon profile pictures think."
Josh stretches, pretending to yawn. "Same. I'm just here for moral support and sarcastic commentary."
I look at him. "You don't have to stay."
"Well," he says quietly, eyes on the floor, "I'm not an adult yet so yeah, I'll have to go back to Mom anyway."
It lands heavily between us. Not a truce. Not a fix. But something like a thin bridge.
My throat tightens. I swallow it down.
I look at both of them. Alice being fierce without meaning to. Josh watching everything like he wants to step in but doesn't trust himself to.
They don't deserve any of this.
I can't let them get caught in the blowback. I can't keep reacting to Samuel.
I can't sit here and let this mess grow around all of us.
If I stay here, he wins. If I run, he wins. The only path left is straight through him.
And I need to take this.
⟡ ✧ ⟡
The room falls quiet for a moment. That kind of heavy, buzzing quiet where everyone can hear everyone else's heartbeat. Mine feels too loud inside my head.
Alice sits forward. Josh leans back. Both watching me like I'm a grenade deciding whether to explode.
I push myself off the couch.
Not slowly. Not gracefully. It's abrupt enough that the blanket on my lap slides to the floor.
"I'm done running," I say. "I'm going to Samuel."
Alice chokes on air. "Are you insane?"
Josh doesn't even blink. "Yes. Yes he is. This is the insane sibling. Congratulations, Alice, you're witnessing it live."
I ignore both of them.
"I don't care anymore," I say. "I'm ending this."
Alice shoots up, hands half-raised like she might physically restrain me. "Ash, listen to me. You're exhausted. You're overwhelmed. And Samuel is… whatever he is. A manipulative psychopath with too many followers."
I shake my head. "I can't sit here while he destroys everything. If I don't shut this down now, it's just going to get worse."
Josh exhales through his nose, the long suffering kind. "And what exactly is the plan? You walk into his house and he just… apologizes? Offers you tea?"
"He owes me answers," I say. My voice comes out tighter than I want. "He's trying to ruin my life and I don't even know why. I'm done playing defense."
Alice looks at me the way she did that first week we met, when she found me sitting on the kitchen floor after a panic attack. Sympathetic, worried, but with this stubborn glint in her eyes that says she will throw herself into traffic for people she cares about.
"Ash," she says, voice softer now, "you don't have to handle this alone."
"I know," I reply. "But I also can't drag you both down with me."
Josh shifts. Just a small movement. But I catch it. For him, that's basically shouting.
He rubs his forehead. "Look, man… I'm not saying don't go. I'm saying don't go charging in like you're in some hero movie."
"I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm trying to stop bleeding before I lose the last thing I have left."
Alice flinches at that.
No one speaks for a moment.
Then Josh scratches at the back of his neck. "You're really set on doing this, huh."
"Yeah."
He looks away. "Then… go. I guess." He throws his car keys on the table. "You can borrow my car. I was planning to stay here until you return anyway."
He won't look at me when he tosses the keys. That's how I know he's scared for me.
I was hesitant, but still took it. Samuel's house is a long way from here after all.
Alice stood up. "Then I'm comming too. I won't let you go alone there."
"No," I stayed firm. "It's between me and him. I'll have to face it on my own. Alice, please try to understand."
Alice lets out a long breath, defeated but understanding. "Fine. But if he stabs you, I'm haunting your corpse."
I almost smile.
I grab my jacket. My keys. My half-broken courage. My shaking hands betray me for a second, but I shove them into my pockets so no one notices.
Alice watches me like she wants to scream.
Josh watches me like he's preparing for impact.
Neither of them moves to stop me.
Not because they don't care.
Because they know this isn't me falling apart.
This is me choosing something.
A turning point.
I open the door. The hallway light spills into the living room, pale and cold.
I step out anyway.
Fear behind me.
Anger beside me.
Clarity in front of me.
Whatever waits at Samuel's house, I'll face it.
I'm done running.
This ends with me.
This time… I'm not backing down.