When I opened my eyes, I groggily took in my surroundings as my brain entered autopilot mode to prepare for another day of grind at work.
But, as I tried to move my arm to reach for my phone next to my pillow.
I felt nothing.
It's not that I couldn't grasp my phone with my hand but I felt the absence of my arm itself as if I have none to begin with.
"Huh?!"
The thought of missing an arm immediately sobered up my mind as I struggled to open my eyes wide.
"Damn. Why is it so dark?"
I mutter as I felt odd for my surroundings to be this dark when usually even without turning on the light, it shouldn't be pitch black like this.
"Wait! Could it be…"
I tried to suck in a sharp breath from the unsettling thought brewing in my mind. But at that very moment, I also felt the lack of sensation from my lungs breathing in air.
At this point, my mind had gone into full panic mode.
Countless possibilities appeared in my mind like I had been kidnapped by human traffickers to become a victim of an organ harvesting organisation and I'm at the verge of death as the anaesthetic wore off.
As I was panicking, a foreign voice suddenly appeared in my mind and answered my confusion.
"Worry not. You aren't kidnapped or at the verge of death. Instead, you have died and are in the process of rebirth." The voice replied in a matter of fact voice and emotionlessly like a machine.
All my previous spiraling thoughts ceased instantly and replaced with silence.
An uncomfortably long silence before I replied with a, "Huh?"
———
A long and lengthy discussion later.
"So, basically… I fucked an Outer God last night while being pissed drunk and it killed me to conceive me as it's child because it was curious about joy of child brith for some reason…?"
"Not the exact truth. But close enough." The voice replied flatly as if tired of my endless questions.
"To be exact, she consumed your body to obtain your genetic material and later implanted your soul into the newly conceived vessel."
"As for its purpose. It simply wishes to understand the joy from a human's standpoint as a species. Humans anchor their joy in continuation—of blood, memory, and presence. By creating successors, they deny finality."
"As for you. You are just a victim caught in the circumstance."
Speechless. I stared into the void while imagining myself staring at the being conversing with me in my mind as I pondered on something more important than whatever that had happened.
"Right."
"So, now what?"
"Am I supposed to just exist here forever staring into the void?"
I question the being in my mind while shivering at the prospect of dying from literal boredom staring at nothing because I'm not even capable of sensation. I have neither a body nor a form. I can't see or touch.
At least give me something to alleviate my boredom.
For some reason, I suddenly feel the being in my mind feeling disappointed in me.
Must be my delusion.
"Actually. No, it's not your delusion because I can read your mind and no. I am not a System." The voice replied in anticipation of my own question.
Instantly, I looked disappointed because I thought I got a System.
Still, if this voice is not from a System. Then, where did this voice come from?
The voice didn't disappoint and immediately provided the answer.
It replied flatly, "I am you."
"Huh?"
A surprised pikachu face replaced my mental expression.
"To be exact, a part of you. More specifically, I am your Ego which gained autonomy and separate consciousness as a side effect of a certain racial ability that you have gained."
"Huh! Autonomy? Separate consciousness?"
The answer left me speechless and baffled as countless possibilities flashed through my mind as in such tropes of a separate consciousness gaining autonomy is usually followed by the separate consciousness trying to kick out the original soul and seize control.
If the Ego had a mental projection, it would face palm at my wild thoughts. Although my fear isn't unfounded.
"Anyway, enough of getting sidetracked again." The voice cut off my wild thoughts and pulled the conversation back on track.
"While you are indeed an Outer God. Your race is more of a burden than help in your present state. You are pitifully weak like a freshly made character in a game." The voice continues its previously interrupted explanation.
Indeed as the voice said, being an Outer God sounds great. Which really is great since it has plenty of benefits. But similarly, benefits come with drawbacks too.
The prime benefits of being an Outer God is my simultaneous existence across many dimensions and beyond which made me virtually unkillable unless the force is capable of annihilating all my projections across dimensions and my true body in the beyond.
This benefit also translates to omnipresence as my simultaneous existence across dimensions means I have access to different perspectives across these dimensions.
The next benefit is power. Power in a broad sense.
As an Outer God, my will alone is enough to physically influence my surroundings. Coupled with access across many dimensions, I am literally capable of many godlike feats like manipulating space, time, etc.
But! There is a big disclaimer here.
All this power can only be fully exerted outside of the material planes, aka, outside a material universe simply because any world is too fragile to withstand the full might of an Outer God.
In a matter of fact, the material universe itself is incapable of hosting an Outer God's descent. Much less the aftermath of their power.
Thus, to even enter a material universe. I must descend as a weaker avatar this material universe could withstand.
At the end of the day, after I descend in an avatar body. I doubt I could even exert a fraction of my original power.
While even a fraction of an Outer God power is still strong by any world's standard. It wouldn't be at the pinnacle of a world's power level ceiling but at the very least, he would be above average level.
Even if I cannot travel across any world unchallenged with that power level. At the very least if I ever meet an opponent I cannot defeat, flipping the table by descending with my true body to nuke the universe into ether is an option I can consider.
Anyway, after gathering my thoughts. I turned back to the voice which had turned silent.
"By the way, those isekai stories are real right?"
"I mean, those fictional worlds that exist in games and stories?"
"Yes." The voice dutifully answered impassionately.
"Good." I said before silently nodding to myself mentally.
…
…
…
"By the way, how much longer will this rebirth take?"
"Another hundred billions of years."
"Huh?!"
—————