I built my future out of hope, but my hands are made out of sand.
The two years after I graduated from high school were the most excruciating moments of my life.
Not because I failed to achieve anything, but because of the painful deterioration of the innocent hope I had held ever since I gained it.
"I will acquire an Ego and become a Hero!"
That was the foundation I built and religiously maintained throughout my childhood days—and up until the realization that I might never awaken my Ego.
I thought the blueprint of this castle was flawless, as ignorant as it was.
After all, it was because of that very mindset that I was able to plow through mental obstacles and stress to do my hardest everyday, to live like a decent and grateful human being.
I could never see a different future where I could not be one of the Heroes I admired so much.
But I only realized later that the castle I had been building was nothing but sand.
It slowly crumbled little by little as time went on.
And it became more apparent when a large wave crashed into it, the inevitable truth evermore.
Now that I look back at it, it was quite the silly dilemma.
Turns out I was nothing but a rhinestone, playing on the seashore.
"So, can you grasp the foundation of your Demonic Essence yet?"
After a total of twenty-one hours being submerged within that exotic concoction, I finally got fished out by her.
Koil did not waste any time.
She immediately told me to try stabilizing and comprehending the Demonic Essence blueprint that I had just acquired.
So without a moment of rest, she guided me to what appeared to be a magic circle. I sat in the middle and meditated as she ushered.
Well, the process was not easy, but it was not too difficult either.
Thanks to my demonized state, the process of cultivating Demonic Essences became somewhat a second nature to me.
And then after a mere five hours, a strange familiar energy that I encountered within the exotic pot began to emerge in my heart.
"Is that intentional by design?"
Koil seemed to be preparing some more ingredients for her alchemy. So she glanced over without stopping her work. "The heart of an entity is the core organ that has great length of influence while also having an identifiable distinction in function. You know, as the ark that revitalized the rest of the body. That makes it the ideal center to house a Demonic Essence~
"It is just like how it goes for Ego."
As a Non-Egoist, it was quite the common knowledge back in Athera that an Ego also builds over their lingering influence and power on the heart more than anything else.
And then the brain in some strange cases.
There seemed to be a strange scientific application that all kinds of supernatural energy tend to remain in the heart.
There was an article back then where a Hero gone through a surgery to have two hearts in the hope of expanding the container of their Ego, or maybe having another Ego.
But it still remain to be a mystery if that achieve anything significant
"You have essentially acquired the hypothetical blueprint of Demonic Essence that fits you the most." Koil said as she examined the powder in the vial she held. "That completely erases the second phase of nurturing unique Demonic Essence. Which leaves only the process where you need to cultivate the amount, density, and quality. And then you move up to the realm of expertise, which is evolution~"
"So it can evolve even further, huh."
Koil paused for a moment. "Lothair has already achieved the multiple stages of evolution of her Demonic Essence. She is currently starting her own personalized journey to strengthen her Demonic Essence further. In case you are curious."
I was not surprised when I heard that.
I saw Lothair as one of the most dangerous Demons I had encountered so far, and my gut-feeling had been screaming so much that I must never get on her bad side.
Which reminded me that she was the first person ever that I committed the deed with…
In the end, I got curious and asked Koil, "Are you also on the same level as Lothair?"
Before she could answer, someone opened the door to the lab.
I glanced over and found a tall figure of what appeared to be an anthropomorphic beast with the head of a wolf. Unlike some of the demons I met, he wore fancy clothing befitting that of a noble atop his darkened blue fur.
And there seemed to be a family crest on his chest with the symbol of a vertical eye with four squiggly tendrils surrounding it.
He casually and comfortably called out Koil.
"Koil, are you done with your business?"
I sensed a rather calm yet dignified Demonic Essence from him. So he strangely didn't feel dangerous to me.
Koil casually told that wolf man. "Prepare the teleportation scroll. I will be right there!"
"I will be waiting."
As she finished her preparation, Koil then gave a teleportation scroll to me.
"This scroll will send you back to somewhere near the territory of Lothair. You should know what to do with your Demonic Essence from now on. Now that you already have your own blueprint. So, go do that and make your teacher proud!"
She barely did the minimum.
I wanted to ask who the wolf person was, but I did not feel close enough to Koil. Nor was I comfortable enough to get into her personal matters.
"Can I contact you through Lothair in case of complications with the Demonic Essence?"
"You can do that. It is still part of my contract with Lothair to make you reach a certain point of mastery within the designated amount of time, after all."
"So your fate was somehow tied to my performance then."
"Yep! That's why I will take a huge chunk out of your flesh if you don't progress much!"
So much for being a teacher.
In the end, she stormed out of the lab, leaving me alone.
She really did not care whether or not I would do anything to her lab.
『 How is the whole lesson going? 』
I sighed "It is less of a lesson and more like a forced torture."
Albeit it is not awful enough to trigger my PTSD.
I felt great unease and panic when I was hung down at certain points of time due to my trauma, but thankfully I managed to stay calm throughout the whole thing.
In the end, I instinctively angrily lashed out at Eli because of her absence.
"Where the hell were you the whole time!?"
『 I apologize, my dear. I was trying to experiment something with my current state of being. 』
Huh, I could relate to that. If I found myself to be the lingering essence of what should be my original self, I also want to see if I could do anything else other than giving a dick to this human midget and talk inside her mind.
『 To put it simply, I was wondering if there is any kind of action that I can do other than being a personal guide and informant to Eisheth's inheritance. 』
Not that hard of a guess.
"How did that experiment go?"
『 While you can only hear my voice for a while now, apparently I have a rather unique spectral vessel conjoined to your soul. This allows me to just detach myself and explore the surroundings beyond your presence. Albeit the farthest I can go is only one hundred and fifty meters. 』
I could sense that was she was pouting on the last sentence.
Still, this was quite the finding.
Kinda a bummer though that she couldn't read my mind nor answer my call when she was away from me, which was weird since she mentioned that she was conjoined to my soul.
But in a way, I could send Eli to gather information or some sort. The fact that not even Koil and Lothair could sense her should be enough to prove that she was more worthy than the majority of Ego I knew back on Athera.
I should ask her to experiment more often.
"It is funny that the metric system exists long enough within the Demonic Realm for the so-called Cosmic Savant to know about it."
『 What do you mean by that? 』
"Forget about it… How do I use the teleportation scroll that Koil gave?"
『 Try connecting your Demonic Essence. You will know what to do after that. 』
"What."