"Actually, it tastes pretty good."
Ian genuinely thought so.
However.
"Heh, you'll find out tonight." Ririm had a schadenfreude look on his face, making the Little Wizard get a bad feeling. He subconsciously patted his own stomach.
"Will I get diarrhea?"
Ian figured maybe he'd been a bit careless at lunch.
He'd eaten quite a few "creative dishes."
"Have you ever seen a wriggling, rainbow-colored Oliger? I bet you haven't, but you'll get to see one tonight. Everybody better pray Hogwarts' sewers are tough enough."
Ririm replied gleefully, confirming Ian's suspicion.
"A prophecy?"
Ian had his very own toilet, so he wasn't really worried about the sewer exploding. He was more curious why Ririm could be so sure.
"Just life experience."
Ririm chuckled and lowered his head to look at his book again—he loved reading just like most Ravenclaws, but all he read were weird random novels.
Like this one with the words "Muggle Princess and Seven Little Goblins" printed on the cover.
From the name, it sounded like a fairy tale.
This piqued Ian's curiosity, as his own experiences had made him start paying attention to fairy tales.
"Is that book any good?"
He took the initiative to ask Ririm.
"Mm."
Ririm didn't look up, but nodded, "Even though it's a bit regretful that the Muggle Princess ditched the seven little Goblins who took care of her, and ended up living with the Giant, really, it's understandable. I mean, how can Goblins compare with a Giant? If I were the Princess, I'd pick the big ol' Giant too."
He was probably making some innuendo.
But Ian couldn't catch him in the act.
"..."
These weird and twisted fairy tales really blew the Little Wizard's mind.
And Ririm wasn't done talking yet.
"If you're into this sort of book, I recommend reading Snow White. Now that's the kind of fairy tale a Wizard should appreciate. The seven little black Dwarves together—they're not necessarily inferior to the Giant either."
"And obviously, the Prince's obsession with a corpse is just amazing too." It's hard to imagine an eleven-year-old Little Wizard reviewing these stories so enthusiastically and matter-of-factly.
"?????" For a second Ian couldn't tell if this was the truth behind fairy tales, or just some freaky retelling by later generations for shock value.
He still remembered that Snow White had something to do with his hand-me-down senior.
The more he thought about it, the more terrifying it felt.
"You don't like it?"
Ririm looked up and noticed Ian's weird expression, his own face turning even more mischievous. "If you don't like this style, I've got a story about the Prince Frog."
Maybe that was an even more Cthulhu-ish version than the Black Fairy Tales.
Ian didn't want Ririm to shatter his childhood memories.
So.
"Actually, Prince Frog's not bad, I've always liked Prince Frog. After all, frogs are so tiny, but Prince Frog's different! Eat just one regular frog, still hungry; but if you kiss Prince Frog and he turns into a real prince, well, that's enough food to last you for weeks!"
He resolved to destroy his own childhood first and leave Ririm, this evil classmate, at a loss for words.
Not gonna lie...
The Little Wizard's strategy was actually pretty good.
Ririm was totally stunned by what he had just said.
"???????"
The blond kid who had been so snarky a second ago now had more question marks on his face than Ian had earlier—just straight-up dumbfounded.
"When it comes to weirdness, I've never lost."
Ian patted the golden hair on his own head, slightly messy with random thoughts, very satisfied as he went back to sit beside Aurora, sorted his books, and got ready for the first class of the term.
"I heard frogs lay 500 to 2,000 eggs at a time. Why not make Prince Frog have more kids? Then you'd have an unlimited supply of Prince Frogs to eat!"
Aurora suddenly chimed in at this moment, apparently having overheard Ian and Ririm's conversation, and started thinking about things normal people definitely wouldn't.
"!?"
Guess there really is always someone tougher out there.
Faced with the German Girl's imagination, Ian was truly shocked this time.
"Is it possible that male frogs can't have babies?" He honestly had no idea how to respond, so he could only drag the topic toward the limitations of male frogs.
Yet.
"I know a spell that can make people hermaphrodites." Aurora answered completely seriously, even about to copy down the spell for Ian.
"!!??"
What else could Ian say at this point?
He could only choose silence.
And accept that his language system had crashed. Luckily, before Aurora could open up any more mind-blowing cans of worms, the bustling Snape strode into the classroom.
This classroom was even colder and damper than other spots in the castle, with a faint, underlying chill in the air—probably because Nicolas Flamel's "castle-wide air conditioning" had gone a little overboard in here.
The aim was most likely to better store all those Magic Potion Materials—Ian had caught a peek before, and guessed that his good uncle had worked all summer just to refill the potion closet here.
Next to the cabinet weren't just several layers of Restriction Spells—he'd even swapped out the locks for the highest security ones on the market…but with Ian's Unlocking Spell, they probably wouldn't hold long anyway.
"Today, we're going to be making a very, very ordinary Magic Potion. In my opinion, it's quite worthless—the Weed Remover Potion." Snape must have sensed what the Little Wizard was thinking. He glanced uneasily and worriedly at Ian first, then finally strolled up to the lectern to begin class ever-so-leisurely.