"Grandma Zaza, please help me."
Bowing my head on the floor, I knelt in front of Grandma Zaza.
Once we arrived at Ilyas' apartment, I requested to meet her and promised to tell Ilyas everything that happened later.
"Raise your head kid. I already know you will find me sooner or later anyway."
Grandma Zaza walked past me, rummaging through something from her drawer and handed it to me.
"You see this wooden doll? I will craft dolls like this every time someone is blessed by me. It represents their state of soul, and this one is yours."
"A half-cracked doll?"
The upper half of the doll's body was cracked while the bottom part was completely fine.
"It means your half has already been corrupted by the universe."
"I don't understand. Didn't you already give me protection?"
"I protect you from outside harm, not the inside."
Grandma Zaza picked up the doll from my hand, "You have something inside you that the universe could use against. Their influence might be smaller, but their gaze never left you, even now the universe is observing every word that comes out of your mouth."
The revelation rendered me speechless. From the moment the original Ethan's soul was consumed, the author had been listening to everything I said?
"Is there… a way to cut the connection?"
"No, there's nothing I could do if it comes from the inside. The half that gets corrupted is already a part of your soul. If I cut it off, you will look less like a human and more like a half-dead corpse instead."
Despair overcame me, with the connection not severed, sooner or later my soul would be consumed whole and be replaced by 'Ethan'. I would be forced to live as someone else, losing myself in the process. If that happened, the current 'me' was as good as dead.
"You feel it don't you? The effect of its influence on your body? That's its way of fixing things to the way it was, and it will keep following you no matter how many times I put protection on you. The universe has trapped your soul in its net."
"Can I ever be released from its grasp?"
Grandma Zaza stayed silent, crushing my hope of escape.
A helpless laugh came out of my mouth. I didn't know the author was so relentless in setting their world straight.
"Tsk, the person Ilyas chose just happened to be a troublesome kid like you. Because of that, I need to give it my all to save you."
"Huh?"
Grandma Zaza pulled out a piece of paper from her drawer and wrote something on it. Characters and symbolism I didn't know were painted in red. Then she recited prayers on it, blessing the paper.
'Is there still some hope left?'
"You don't know who your medium is so it's a bit of a gamble. When you feel the moment is right, tear it."
"When the moment is right…?"
"Do you know the cycle of life? Birth, aging, sick and die, that's it. But do you know what happened in afterlife? There are countless souls chained in the human realm, some of the lucky ones ascend to the higher realm but most fall to the depths of hell. This paper could help stabilize your soul when passing through the reincarnation gate, but I don't know which realm you're going to end up in and I can't guarantee you could go back to your world. That's why it's a gamble."
"My soul? But I'm still alive-"
Even at my question, Grandma Zaza's gaze was unwavering. Based on her reaction, I could guess what she meant.
She was saying to use this paper when I was about to die.
Death.
That's the only way to escape the grasp of the author.
I clutched the paper in my hand. This was the best chance I had to live a life untangled from the author's influence. Even if in this life my body and soul were controlled by the author, at least the next wouldn't.
"Thank you, I don't know how to repay this."
"You're one brave kid, people don't usually accept news of their death that calmly."
"Haha, having a strong mind is one of my good points."
I tried to laugh it off. After all, lamenting about it would bring me more harm than good. Grandma Zaza observed the expression on my face then turned her head away. She coughed awkwardly before walking toward the door.
'Did she just smile?'
In the split second of her turning away, her lips curved upward.
"Take care of Ilyas for me, you are planning on telling him everything, right?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then go, tell him everything you're ready to tell."
I nodded resolutely. It's time to tell Ilyas everything.
Knocking on his door, I touched my tie as I fell into a thought.
Honestly, I was a little scared. This information might be too hard for Ilyas to believe. What if he didn't trust what I say and denied my existence?
If that happened, my heart would definitely break.
"Come in Ethan."
Ilyas opened the door, his slightly damp hair and the smell of soap caught my attention. His appearance somehow made the tension in my body dissipate.
"Did you just take a shower?"
"Mhm, have you finished talking with my grandma?"
"Yeah, I need to tell you something too."
Ilyas nodded and moved slightly to let me enter. Having the permission from the room's owner, I walked in confidently.
Standing in the center, I engraved every piece of furniture in this room into my mind.
The tidy one-person bed, the guitar displayed in the center, the messy corner full of spiritualism books – all in this room reflected everything about Ilyas. Which I didn't know how many times I could see it again before the author decided to twist my string of fate.
"What is it? It's not the first time you walk into my room." Ilyas chuckled which made me smile.
"I'm just checking if my precious guide is keeping his room tidy. I don't want you to get sick from dust and trash piling up."
Ilyas smirked at my teasing, "Oh really? My esper is quite attentive, isn't he?"
"As I should."
I said with my nose high which made Ilyas laugh blithely. The sight of Ilyas' joyful face made a smile bloom on my lips.
Checking the time on my watch, I decided it was time.
4:47 P.M.
We sat down on the bed and faced each other.
And I said my first word.
"Ilyas you might not believe this, but I'm actually a transmigrator-"