"…As always, it's a remarkable sight," Lavinia noted.
"Yeah. I bet it looks even crazier to an outsider," I agreed.
"Meat! I brought meat!" Rin chirped.
By the fifth day of our survival life, we had become remarkably efficient. With my detection skills, my ability to inflict status ailments, and Rin's overwhelming firepower, the monsters in this area stood almost no chance. My strategy was a brutal "Sacred Gear and Dragon" combo: I'd find the prey, approach silently under a veil of erased presence, and hurl a Ruin Javelin. While the enemy was stunned, Rin—returning to her original size—would charge in and deliver a killing blow to a vital spot.
Though Rin could shrink with demonic power, her appetite remained that of a full-grown dragon, meaning we had to hunt big game. As her Master, I couldn't bear to let my familiar go hungry. My sensing skills made finding high-aura targets easy, so my "Monster Hunter" skills had naturally leveled up, even if Rin did most of the actual killing.
To avoid attracting more predators with the scent of blood, I used my Partner to instantly "Erase" any spilled blood and perform a clean field dressing. Then, I'd stab the carcass with my spear to delete its weight and presence, making it easy to carry. Today's catch was a giant serpent. After I confused it with a status effect, Rin crushed its head. Even with its head smashed, the tail kept twitching for a while, which was... a bit much to handle.
Back at the rocky alcove we'd chosen as our base, Lavinia set up a barrier and used magic to make the space comfortable. A jubilant Rin circled around me as I laid the giant snake out on the ground. Rin would end up eating ninety percent of it, so as long as we kept a portion for ourselves, everyone was happy.
"Kanata, meat! Hurry!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm prepping it now, just wait. Honestly, Rin, humans are one thing, but you could probably just eat this raw."
"Snakes have too many bones! And the scales get stuck in my teeth! I hate it!"
Over these five days, Rin had developed a taste for processed meat. I might be spoiling her, but I found it hard to say no when she asked so nicely. Besides, I understood the feeling. I shrugged and got to work, using my Partner to strip the skin and erase the bones. I used Erasure to tenderize the tough muscle fibers and remove parasites or toxins. Then, after Lavinia created an ice platform, I had Rin wash her feet and "stomp" the snake meat to further soften it.
I used my Partner to sanitize the meat, turned ten percent of it into meatballs, and tossed them into a pot with wild herbs and seasonings I'd refined earlier. Rin took the softened meat and seared it to a perfect char with her own flames, devouring it happily. As the soup simmered, Lavinia and I finally let out a long breath and slumped against the rock wall.
***
"Finally... done," I groaned.
"Preparing meals in the Underworld is always such a labor," Lavinia said. "I am truly grateful for your Sacred Gear's abilities."
"I really feel how convenient this thing is at times like this," I muttered.
My Sacred Gear, Ruin Lorn Scarlet, was useful in combat, but honestly, I used it far more often in daily life. Poking food with a god-slaying spear had become second nature. My Partner didn't even bother sending me "consent" signals for cooking anymore; he'd basically given up and told me to do whatever I wanted. Sorry, Partner. But thanks for being the ultimate kitchen utensil.
"Well, my Partner has five years of experience as a cooking tool," I said. "He's a pro at speed and precision control now."
"…Five years?"
"Hahaha, yeah... I've always hated fish with lots of bones. The first time I poked a saury with my spear and erased the bones, I was genuinely moved. ...My Partner ignored me for a long time after that, though. I had to apologize frantically while washing him in the bath. Good times."
"Kanata... you've always been exactly who you are, haven't you?"
Wait, what does that mean? Is she praising me? I have a Gear that can selectively erase things. If there's a bony fish in front of me, obviously I'm going to use it. Granted, I probably offended his "Sacred Gear pride" back then, given the wave of pure mental fury he sent me.
Since then, it's been an endless loop: I ask for a favor, and he grumbles but eventually allows it. Looking back, I haven't learned my lesson at all. I guess that's why he gave up. It reminded me of how Issei eventually made Ddraig give up on his pride regarding "breast-related" incidents.
I think I'm starting to understand Issei's perspective, I thought. I didn't have any lewd events or "Breast Power," but the dependency was the same. I couldn't imagine a daily life without my Partner's convenience. I was a weak-willed host, but I needed him. Physically, mentally, and biologically.
"You awakened your Gear five years ago, right?" Lavinia asked.
"Yeah. I was a second-grader. I shouted 'Dragon Burst!' and a spear just popped out. It scared the life out of me."
"Kanata, can you fire a Dragon Beam?" Rin asked, looking up from her meat.
"No. It's like when you shout 'Milky Magical' at the TV."
"I see! So Kanata was just like me!"
Wait... back then, I had my previous life's memories, even if they were suppressed. Does that mean my mental age was on par with a dragon hatchling? I felt a sudden pang of psychic damage and decided to stop thinking about it.
"…Were you not afraid when you first touched it?" Lavinia asked quietly.
"Afraid? Of the Gear?"
"Yes. You were just a normal person who knew nothing of the other side, weren't you?"
We sat against the rock, watching the flickering campfire. I kept an eye on the soup as I pondered her question. Lavinia was staring into the flames, her expression unreadable. Rin had finished her meal and was currently curled up, letting out a massive yawn.
A normal person who knew nothing... Normally, that would be true. But I had meta-knowledge. I knew what a Sacred Gear was. I knew this power was shaped by the user's will and that it was meant to help me. It wasn't a curse designed to harm me. So, my primary emotion hadn't been fear—it had been confusion. And anxiety about what came next.
I might have viewed it as a nuisance at first, but I never saw it as an enemy. If anything, it was the only ally I had in a world that had suddenly become terrifying.
"I think I clung to it more than I feared it," I answered.
"Clung to it?"
"Even as a kid, I knew I couldn't use this power in public. I didn't tell my family or anyone else. Being able to erase things gave me a sense of security, but I was always anxious. I wondered what I was supposed to do with this power. I trained every day just to control it, but that was my whole life back then."
I'd given Mephisto and Azazel the summary, but this was the first time I was discussing the details of my "isolation." Back then, I was terrified that my normal life would shatter. Even with four years of peace, I only focused on physical conditioning and ability control. As a child, I didn't have the stamina to use the Gear like I do now. I was obsessed with mastering it alone.
"I remember when I was finally getting used to the power. I had this dumb idea: 'If I erase my own gravity, can I fly?'"
"The flight method you use now? That started as a whim?"
"Yeah. But I had zero control back then. I just floated up and then fell right back down. A lot."
"Oh dear..."
Lavinia looked worried, but I just laughed. I'd be stuck in the air, unable to balance, and hit the ground hard. I got stubborn about it; I told myself that even if I couldn't fly, I'd at least learn to hover. I was just a kid who wanted a "fantasy experience." I failed constantly.
"During one of those practice sessions, I messed up the output. I was falling toward the ground head-first."
"Kanata...!"
"By the time I realized I was in trouble, it was too late. I panicked. I thought I was dead. But then... my Partner saved me."
I stirred the snake soup, a small smile on my face. "He sensed my danger and took over the control. One second I was plummeting, the next I was just... bobbing in mid-air, upside down. He filled in the gaps where my control failed. It shocked me."
Back then, my Partner only sent "Yes" or "No" pings. Even though I knew "Dialogue" was possible from the books, I was skeptical. That incident changed everything.
The Gear had saved me when I was helpless. In a secret life where I had no one to talk to, he had protected me. He wasn't just a tool; he was a presence.
"After that, I started talking to him constantly. I'd consult him before using a power and thank him afterward. Azazel is right; I don't have much natural talent. When I realized I couldn't do it alone, I asked him for help. Eventually, he started helping me with the gravity control. I can handle the basics on my own now, but back then, he carried me."
I have a Partner. Because I have this Gear, I'm not alone in this world. Once I realized he was my other half—a lifelong companion I could rely on—my heart felt so much lighter. Ruin Lorn Scarlet was the anchor for my sanity.
Maybe having the Gear is why I remembered my past life. But if I had remembered being in the world of High School DxD without a Gear to protect me, I probably would have snapped from the pressure. Without him, I wouldn't be here.
"I trust him... but I'm also dependent on him. As a normal person who didn't know the future, I clung to the one thing beside me. He made me feel like I wasn't alone."
"Because you had a Gear, you weren't alone..." Lavinia repeated softly.
Reincarnated or not, I'm just a human. I couldn't stand being alone in the dark forever. When I first shared the fear of this world with Megumi, I was secretly overjoyed. When I finally got to talk about the "Surface" and the "Under-world" with Lavinia, it was the best feeling in the world.
My consciousness is the "me" of this life, but those past memories influenced me deeply. They gave me the perspective to look at myself objectively. I looked at Rin, who was now snoring with a snot bubble, and shrugged. I ladled the soup into two bowls and handed one to Lavinia.
***
"…Were you afraid, Lavinia?"
In the quiet of the Underworld night, punctuated only by the sound of sipping soup, I asked the question I'd been holding back. I'd shared my past because I felt she needed to hear it. This wasn't small talk; it was a reach for her essence.
'Kanata, YOU were a normal person who knew nothing too, weren't you?'
Lavinia's only friends were in the Grau Zauberer. Most of them were born into the supernatural or had been in the business a long time. Finding another "Former Normal Person" who was also a "Sacred Gear Possessor" was rare. I was her only point of reference.
If the person she was describing—the "Normal Person who feared the Gear"—was actually herself... then I needed to know. I wanted to know the emotion born when a truly ignorant child discovers a God-Slayer.
"I was terrified," she whispered. "And... perhaps I still am."
"…I see."
"I was born in a small seaside town in Italy. My Papa and Mama were normal people. they worked at the same place; that's where they met."
"So your parents worked too."
"Yes. I spent a lot of time waiting for them to come home from work."
Lavinia began to smile, a look of bittersweet longing in her eyes. She described the beauty of her town and the kind of people her parents were. Everything was in the past tense. I felt my grip on my soup bowl tighten as I listened in silence.
"——But I was the only one who was different."
"Because of the Gear?"
"Yes. Since before I can remember, I could see the Ice Princess. Whenever I showed strong emotion, she would appear beside me or behind me. She wouldn't move. She just... stood there."
"That sounds genuinely frightening."
"It was. I would talk to her, scream at her, but she never replied."
I couldn't help my reaction. If I were in her shoes, I'd be terrified too. This was the Absolute Demise. Even as an adult, seeing that doll—with its six eyes, thorn-covered face, and four asymmetrical arms—inspired awe and dread. To have that appear silently behind a child...
Little Lavinia had told her parents, but they hadn't taken her seriously. She had called it the "Ice Ghost," living her life in a state of constant, complicated dread. A presence that wouldn't speak or react, just watch. I realized then that for a young girl, that was a specialized kind of psychological torture.
I suspect Lavinia hadn't fully awakened her Gear back then. She couldn't use the abilities or interfere with the construct; it manifested purely as a response to her internal emotions—the fuel for a Sacred Gear. It was likely similar to Ddraig appearing in Issei's dreams. Little Lavinia lacked the power to manifest the Princess in reality, creating a "ghost-like" state.
In the books, Ddraig mentioned he'd been talking to Issei for a long time, but Issei was too weak to hear him. During the fight with Raynare, the Red Dragon Emperor hadn't fully awakened yet; he only had access to the "shell" of the power. I didn't know if the Ice Princess could talk or think like Ddraig, so I wasn't sure if the comparison held. Azazel taught us that Independent Manifestation types have their own wills, but treating a Longinus like a standard Gear was a dangerous assumption.
In a way, her talent was her misfortune. Lavinia was a genius. That's why she could perceive Absolute Demise before her mind was ready to handle it. But despite her talent, she was just a child in a normal family. She lacked the framework to accept what she was seeing.
"The 'Ice Ghost' never answered. She looked like an exquisite doll, yet I felt like I was the puppet, being moved by invisible strings attached to her. I hated it."
"Yeah..."
"But when I cried at night because I was scared, Mama would sleep in the bed beside me. Papa would hold me tight and tell me it was okay. So I..."
Her hands had stopped moving. No tears fell, but her voice was growing smaller. I thought about telling her she didn't have to continue, but her eyes held a fierce resolve. To stop her now would be to run away. As her partner, I had to hear her out.
The Underworld night was growing cold, even in summer. Lavinia's barrier helped, but I felt a phantom chill. Maybe her Gear was reacting to her grief. Her shoulders looked smaller than usual.
I stood up, holding my bowl. Lavinia blinked in surprise at the noise. I gestured for her to shift her position away from the rock wall. When she did, I sat down directly against her back, our spines pressing together.
"K-Kanata?"
"When it's cold, you huddle up," I said. "There's only two of us, so this is the best we can do. The rock was getting chilly. This way we can keep each other warm."
"…Okay."
If her mother had held her from the side and her father from the front, then I would cover her back. I felt a bit embarrassed—sitting this close to a girl was a bold move for me—but sitting back-to-back meant I didn't have to look at her blushing face. Or let her see mine.
We sat in silence for a while. I felt the vibration of a deep breath against my back. The trembling in her shoulders vanished. When she spoke again, her voice was steady.
"…A few years ago, there was an explosion. The cause was never found... but my parents were caught in it. I couldn't accept it. I lost sight of everything. I was consumed by grief."
I'd expected as much. I closed my eyes in a silent prayer for her loss.
"I wanted to run from reality. I wanted a reason for the unfairness... so I chose to hate the only thing I could. I blamed the 'Ice Ghost.' I convinced myself it was her fault. I was just a child; the details of the 'accident' were hidden from me. I screamed at a ghost no one else could see. No one wanted to take in a girl who was constantly rampaging and talking to thin air. I was alone, filled with fear and sadness... I don't remember much of that time. It's all a blur."
"…You don't have to remember the painful parts," I whispered.
"…Thank you."
Her voice shook, but she finished the story. The accident was only a few years ago. It was natural that she hadn't fully processed it. I was amazed she could even look back on it this clearly. I remembered Azazel saying she needed an "anchor."
She was strong, yes. But her strength wasn't for herself; it was born of her feelings for others. If that core broke, she would retreat into a shell of ice to protect herself. That was her fragility.
But now, she had a new core. That was why she was so steady. It was "Her" (the mentor), and now, it was me too.
"But I remember one thing clearly," Lavinia continued. "I was walking in our garden when I felt a strange presence. Suddenly, I was in a forest. There was a wooden house like something out of a fairytale, and a kind old woman was there. That was my first meeting with Glinda."
"The 'Her' everyone mentioned... Glinda?"
"Yes. Glinda told me I was safe. She took me in. She taught me magic, and she taught me how to use the 'Ice Ghost'... Absolute Demise."
"Wait, she taught you about the Gear too?"
"Yes. Glinda was a researcher of Sacred Gears."
I'd assumed Azazel was her only mentor for the Gear. I guess I was wrong; Glinda was the one who first helped her bloom. Mephisto likely called in Azazel because he knew Lavinia's specific temperament and Gear type required a different kind of expertise. Or perhaps they were sharing data. It was a complicated network of professionals.
But Glinda... a magician researching Sacred Gears was rare. She must have cherished Lavinia. I could hear the warmth in Lavinia's voice when she spoke the name.
"The reason I couldn't go back to Glinda's house... was because of that research."
"…Was it because of my Gear?"
"Yes. I told Glinda I had found a friend. I told her I wanted to stay here to support that friend. But I never told her about the nature of your Gear. That was my promise to Mephisto."
"But she's your mentor! And she's a magician—isn't she in the same organization?"
"…She is not part of the Grau Zauberer. But she is not an enemy either. Her position is... complicated. And mine is as well. I am a member of the Association to train and interact with others, but my bond with her remains."
I remembered her saying she couldn't explain the relationship between the Association and Glinda yet. Maybe I wasn't high-rank enough. Or maybe it was a secret they didn't want a "normal" human like me to carry. If it involved Lavinia, I was interested, but as Mephisto's subordinate, I knew where to draw the line. I didn't need to know right now.
I realized then how I had "set her path." Lavinia had a choice: become a formal witch of the Association or succeed Glinda in her own organization. She was a Longinus possessor and a master magician; she was an asset to both.
And she chose to become a witch of the Grau Zauberer just to stay with me. In the original series, she was a member of the Association, but the "why" was never explained. I looked down, lost in thought.
"…Five days ago, when you talked to Azazel. You swore to become a witch of the Association."
"Yes. I decided."
"You did that for me, didn't you? Lavinia, this is your life. I'm a mess, I'm an airhead, and I'm weak... you don't have to carry my weight too."
"…Kanata, you were my first friend. And I was the one who brought you into this world. Because you met me, you lost your chance at a normal life. I am the one who defined your future."
Ah... I see. She carried the guilt of "corrupting" my life. I leaned my weight against her back and let out a long sigh. I knew her actions weren't just born of responsibility, but I realized she had become stubborn because she felt she had to protect the boy she'd dragged into the shadows.
"If I hadn't been there, you wouldn't have been in danger. You could have stayed 'normal'..."
"Stop right there," I cut her off. "Who was it that told me: 'I enjoyed talking with you, so don't you dare say I shouldn't have been there'? Do you remember that?"
"…I remember."
"Good. Because that made me happy. And that was the day I chose my own path anyway."
I set my empty bowl aside and ruffled my own hair. I remembered Azazel's warning. I needed to say this now.
My job wasn't to comfort her about her past—Glinda had already done that. And telling her she didn't have to feel responsible for me wouldn't work; she'd made her choice after serious thought. Dismissing her resolve was just me trying to avoid the weight of her feelings.
Rejecting her now wouldn't be for her sake—it would be for mine. I'd be running away from the responsibility of walking beside her.
'By chance, you possess the one thing she wanted most, and the one thing she lacks. To her, you are incredibly "bright." So bright it's almost blinding.'
I understood what Azazel meant now. What she wanted most was time with a family. What she lacked was the ability to trust the "Ice Ghost"—the Partner who would be with her forever. For a year, she had watched me—a normal person with a normal family who looked at his Gear without a shred of fear.
She felt responsible because she saw the path I could have had—the life she wanted. Living with my mentor was a foot in the door, but meeting Lavinia was what pushed my whole body through the entrance of the Under-world. Meeting her was the turning point of my life.
It was natural for her to see me as "bright." I have what she lost. Maybe by protecting me, she felt she could fulfill her own childhood dreams. Maybe she just didn't want me to feel the same loneliness she had.
Lavinia had her wishes. And I had mine.
"Lavinia... you're going to stay with me, right?"
"…Is it a nuisance?"
"No way. I'm happy you're here. I'm relieved. I'm incredibly grateful you chose me. …So, from now on, I'm going to move for your sake too."
"Eh?"
If she had chosen Glinda over me, she wouldn't be here. And that would be incredibly lonely. She was the friend I wanted to be with. Regardless of my guilt toward Glinda or the "path" I'd set for her, I was happy she chose me. That feeling was 100% real.
If she was going to carry my future, I'd carry hers. I'm a guy—if I can't shoulder the weight of one girl's heart, I have no business calling myself a warrior. If she protects me, I'll protect her. We'll support each other. If she can only move for others, then I'll be the one to fill in what she's missing. We'll be even.
"Come visit my house when we have time," I said. "My mom, dad, and sister are all waiting for you. They treat you like a new sister. My sister is already begging for you to help her study for the next round of tests. Honestly, it's a bit pathetic."
"Manami... she didn't do well on her finals, did she?"
"She got too hyped for the Hawaii trip and forgot to study. By the time she realized it, she was cooked. Mom turned into an ogre."
"Hehe."
Lavinia chuckled at the thought of my sister. For the record, I'm a model student in middle school. My sister yelled at me to "suffer a little more like a normal kid," but she doesn't see the "Under-world" side of my life. I have plenty of suffering there; on the surface, I just want peace.
Plus, I have to show my report card to Mephisto. I can't afford bad grades. And Professor Azazel somehow gets my results too—if my grades drop, he'll tease me forever. I have some pride, after all.
"We'll train our Gears together," I promised. "If you're scared of looking into the Abyss of the Ice Princess, I'll be there. If you're about to be swallowed, my Partner and I will pull you back. Guaranteed."
"Kanata..."
"We can do it. I believe in us."
I felt a mental wave of
I leaned my weight back against Lavinia. She tilted forward in surprise, then pushed back against me with her own weight. Once we were balanced again, I smiled.
"See? That's how we do it. We balance each other. If one side is falling, the other pulls. If one side pushes too hard, the other pushes back."
"…Is that enough for you, Kanata?"
"It's exactly what I want. I want to be that kind of partner. So, help me when I'm struggling. And I'll help you. We'll look forward together. As the Professor said, we're heading in the same direction. And if we can't handle it alone... we have Mephisto, Azazel, Tannin, Cleria, Masaomi... we have a lot of people we can ask for help."
"Won't we be a nuisance?"
"Then we'll just pay them back together!"
There are limits to what one person can do. Being reckless is one thing, but being suicidal is another. Life is hard enough for normal humans; in a world of monsters, we have even fewer options.
That's why we connect. Connection creates new paths. Some lead to light, some to shadow, but I'll always choose the path where we can laugh together.
"Lavinia, give me your hand."
"Like... like this?"
She reached her hand back tentatively. I reached back and gripped it firmly. After hearing her story, I realized she was afraid to rely on others. The parents she relied on vanished. No one helped her until Glinda reached out. But even then, Lavinia had never been the one to reach out first. She couldn't even say "Help me."
I wanted her to realize that was her childhood self—she was different now. My role was to support her future.
"If things get hard again, Lavinia... reach out like this. Ask for help. You have so many people around you who will take your hand."
"Reach out..."
"Yeah. Ideally, I'll be the one to catch it first. But if you're too shy to ask, I'll just scream for help on your behalf. It's called 'right person, right place,' remember?"
"That... that sounds like we are going to owe people a lot of favors..."
"Sorry about that. But when I can handle it myself, I'll work my hardest."
"That also sounds like it will lead to trouble..."
Hey! What is that supposed to mean, Lavinia? Lately, she's been losing her reservations with me, just like my Partner.
I grumbled a bit, and she giggled, whispering that as my partner, she had to be the responsible one. Excuse me? I'm the 'normal' one here! I thought. Partner, stop sending me the 'you're both the same' thoughts! I'm the straight man of this comedy troupe!
I pouted, but I could feel her golden hair brushing against my back as she laughed. I tried to let go of her hand, but she squeezed back, so I just relaxed. I wanted to be her friend, her family, her partner. Maybe a best friend or an older brother figure too. I'd be happy with any of it.
If she needed an anchor, she had me, Glinda, Mephisto, and the rest. We'd expand her world one step at a time. She'd make more friends. And if anyone ever hurt her, I'd use my entire network to make them regret it.
"Anyway, summary: I'm counting on you as my partner, now and forever."
"Yes. I am counting on you as well... Kanata."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for being here."
"Same to you."
I gave a short, embarrassed reply. I felt her head rest on my shoulder. She leaned her weight into me, and soon, I heard the soft, steady rhythm of her breathing.
For an eleven-year-old, sharing that past must have taken immense courage. Good night, Lavinia, I thought, carefully laying her down without waking her. I covered her with a blanket and efficiently cleaned up the dishes with my Partner's help.
Day five of the Underworld hunt was over. I looked up at the starless sky for a moment, closed my eyes, and resolved to keep pushing forward tomorrow.
***
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