Chapter 33: Matsuzaka Satou
"If you jump and have bad luck, hitting the water face-first will be very painful. At this height, you won't die immediately either. You'll not only endure intense pain but also swallow plenty of seawater and suffer from suffocation. Have you considered going to the subway station instead? Getting run over by a train is easier than jumping into the river—you'll turn into a jigsaw puzzle and meat paste in an instant."
Unable to stand by and watch, Ren spoke up as the other person climbed over the railing.
".....?"
Even though Matsuzaka Satou's heart had withered to the point where life felt meaningless, she couldn't help but look at Ren after hearing his words. Was this really how you were supposed to talk someone out of suicide?
But what did pain matter? Nothing mattered anymore...
If suffering could bring her release, she was willing to endure it.
"If you've been wronged, wouldn't escaping like this let those who hurt you off too easily? Even if you jump, they might just laugh at your cowardice when they find out."
Seeing her reaction, Ren continued, deliberately provoking Satou with calculated words. Talking about how wonderful the world was would clearly be useless now—if life were truly beautiful, would she be trying to kill herself?
So he had to take the opposite approach. Rather than stimulating any desire to live, it was better to ignite whatever lingering anger for revenge might remain in her heart. That way, she might at least choose to stay alive. Whether she could actually get revenge didn't matter—surviving was what counted.
"..."
Satou remained silent. She probably hadn't suffered any major injustice or bullying—her situation was more complicated.
She was someone severely deprived of love, having lived alone for years, even through the emotionally turbulent period of adolescence.
She had just turned sixteen. Years of isolated, empty solitude had calcified her heart, leaving her without hope or any emotional anchor. She couldn't even be bothered to attend school, cutting off all communication with others, sealing herself away both physically and emotionally.
Finding everything meaningless, she wanted to end her life. There was nothing left in this world worth holding onto.
Not bullying? Then could it be family-related?
Seeing she remained unmoved, Ren ruled out bullying and began suspecting family pressure instead. After all, there were plenty of unreasonable parents—the kind who would rage and even resort to physical punishment over a drop from 95 to 92 or 93 on an exam.
It would be normal to crack under that kind of pressure, so he continued along this line: "If your parents are putting too much pressure on you, you can always just stop trying. Forget what people say about it ruining your future—if you don't even want to live now, what future is there? And though angry parents might seem scary, watching them rage helplessly can be pretty entertaining sometimes, don't you think?"
"?"
Satou felt like Ren might be a good person, but also maybe not. He was trying to talk her out of suicide, yet everything he said seemed somewhat inappropriate.
Unfortunately, Ren didn't know her circumstances. Her situation had nothing to do with any of his guesses—she simply had no emotional anchor left. It might not sound severe enough to warrant suicide, right?
But a life without any support or hope is painful. Even street thugs have to think about how to fill their stomachs tomorrow, yet she didn't even want to consider such things. Her heart was completely empty.
She just felt sorry for disappointing Ren's concern. After she jumped, he would probably feel somewhat annoyed, right? Could this count as someone in the world remembering him?
Matsuzaka Satou's heart rippled slightly. For the first time, her closed-off heart had received concern from another person. Though it sounded somewhat awkward, the feelings contained within were sincere, which moistened her hollow heart a little.
But it wasn't enough to make her give up on seeking death. So without waiting for Ren to continue, she closed her eyes, spread her arms, leaned forward, and prepared to welcome death.
Strong wind brushed past her cheeks, but the falling motion abruptly stopped. The death Satou anticipated didn't arrive. Instead, a strong sense of restraint came—the conflict between her clothes being grabbed and her body leaning forward.
Someone had grabbed her by the collar. And because her clothes were of good quality and she wasn't heavy enough to tear them, she didn't break free with a rustle and fall down.
"This is the last time. Why do you want to die?"
Ren, who had rushed behind her the moment she jumped and grabbed her collar to pull her back onto the bridge, looked at her somewhat helplessly.
He had both advised and saved her. If Satou still wanted to seek death, then he could only respect her fate. Not everyone is willing to do thankless tasks—his goodwill was almost exhausted.
"You saved me... No, my second life belongs to you..."
Satou's voice was as sweet as her appearance. She didn't look like someone with inner problems, yet she wanted to commit suicide.
After being saved, Satou stared blankly at Ren. Her empty heart burst with extremely strong emotions because of Ren's actions.
Even though they were strangers, Ren had still saved her. If it weren't for Ren, she would probably be close to death by now. Did this mean that Ren needed her?
No—she needed Ren.
Having walked through the gates of death, Matsuzaka Satou found her reason to live. When she was most helpless and nihilistic, Ren had extended a helping hand to her.
This was her lifeline, and also the spiritual support she was willing to devote everything to.
Someone needed her, and she had found someone she could rely on.
That person was Ren.
The light gradually returned to Satou's eyes, and her pale complexion became rosy. She looked at Ren excitedly.
Like a traveler seeing an oasis in the desert, she threw herself at Ren and hugged him, showing the intimacy and dependence of someone who had found their support.
"...?"
This surprised Ren, but he didn't push Satou away. He thought it was due to her emotional excitement after seeking death and being revived—hugging him was just her way of venting emotions.
Sure enough, after a while, Satou seemed fine again. She just lay in Ren's arms, looking at him shyly and timidly yet filled with affection.
"My name is Matsuzaka Satou. What's yours?"
"Ren Watanabe. You look much better now."
Ren said as he pushed Satou away, but she instead clung to his arm.
"I won't commit suicide anymore, because I've found a reason to live. Ren, thank you for saving me. I like you. Let's be together!"
A sweet, innocent smile spread across Satou's face, but her words left Ren stunned.
Was this confession right after a suicide attempt caused by the suspension bridge effect?
"I think you might need to calm down, and besides, I already have a girlfriend."
"Eh?"
Satou's eyes shattered once more. Her completely lifeless pupils fixed intently on Ren.
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