Chapter 581: Their Respective Resolves
The silence in the briefing room lasted for a moment, as if even the air had become viscous.
Shinji Ikari was the first to break the silence. His voice was faint, carrying a suppressed difficulty:
"War... Orks... Are they the same as the Angels?"
A deep, almost suffocating disgust permeated his eyes. His hands tightly gripped his knees, his knuckles turning white from the exertion.
"Not exactly the same," Ryo answered in an objective tone. "Angels often carry a certain specific purpose, while Orks... their destruction and warfare stem more from a near-instinctual, pure desire for violence and chaos."
"Their numbers are massive, and they do not fear death. Their weapons are crude but their destructive power cannot be underestimated. Wherever they pass, usually only ruins and death remain."
This description seemed to make Shinji even more uncomfortable. He lowered his head, his brows tightly locked. That expression was not fear; it was more like he had smelled something nauseating or heard some noise he deeply wished not to recall.
He thought of the destruction that inevitably accompanied the battlefield, thought of the innocent casualties that might occur—just like Toji Suzuhara—and thought of the unfamiliar faces that had faded away during the Angel attacks.
He did not want to see any more lives wither away before his eyes, regardless of the reason.
Fleeing to a peaceful world—this temptation was incomparably immense because it directly responded to his deepest inner desire: a world where fighting was no longer necessary, where no one would be injured or die because of combat.
Right at this moment, Asuka abruptly raised her head. Her voice carried a deliberate toughness, shattering the oppressive atmosphere: "Hey, Doctor! You've said so much, but what do you think yourself? How do you want us to choose?"
Ryo looked at her, his red eyes appearing profound beneath the shadow of the power armor's faceplate: "My personal desires should not influence your decision. This is a choice concerning your own futures. What I can do is provide options and respect your choice."
"Hmph, you make it sound so nice." Asuka turned her head away, but a complex light flickered in her eyes.
She did indeed long for peace; those few days on Corona VII provided a tranquility she had not experienced in a long time.
But on the other hand, Princeps Olaf's fiery gaze in the EVA-Titan hangar, the gradually changing, awe-filled looks of the Steel Hound Legion members on the training grounds, and Ryo's words—"This world is very large"—were all stirring within her heart.
Here, she felt an unprecedented sense of value of being needed and highly regarded, not merely as an ace card, but as an existence capable of influencing the tide of battle and being acknowledged by a powerful faction.
This sense of value, to a girl whose heart yearned for recognition, was an irresistible attraction.
Did escaping to a peaceful world mean giving up all this and reverting back to being an ordinary girl?
She wasn't sure if that was truly what she wanted.
Her heart swung violently back and forth between tranquility and value.
Meanwhile, Rei Ayanami quietly watched Shinji Ikari the entire time.
Her gaze was calm, yet it seemed able to pierce through Shinji's trembling exterior, seeing the subtle fluctuations deep within his heart that even he might not have noticed himself.
To her, the choice itself held no meaning; the meaning of existence lay in her connection with certain people. Beneath Shinji's fear, she saw that faint response to being needed, as well as a deep-seated dread of potentially losing again—he was afraid of losing this circle that had just accepted him again, even if this circle was fraught with danger.
Right at this moment, Shinji seemed to have made up his mind. He raised his head. His complexion was still poor, but his eyes held a determination mixed with disgust and a certain kind of despair.
He looked at Ryo, and although his voice was still strained, he spoke clearly: "...I... I choose to... go."
This decision took both Asuka and Ryo somewhat by surprise.
"Idiot Shinji, you..." Asuka looked at him in astonishment.
Shinji took a deep breath, as if trying to exhale the stagnant, foul air built up in his chest, and continued, "I... I really hate fighting. Really... I absolutely hate it... Just the thought of someone dying again makes me feel awful..."
"But, but Doctor, you said we need to become a unified entity as quickly as possible..."
"And, and if I don't go, and only Asuka and Rei go... I..."
He thought of the possibility of being left alone in a safe place again, while his companions were thrust into the battlefield he so despised, fraught with the risk of death.
He loathed fighting, but what he could endure even less was the possibility that his absence might lead his companions into danger, or that more innocents might die due to a lack of combat power.
This heavy pressure, based on responsibility and care for others, overwhelmed his personal, pure disgust for combat.
"I... I'll go too," Asuka said almost immediately after Shinji's words, her tone carrying a trace of relief and newly consolidated resolve.
Shinji's choice had, to some extent, helped her make her decision. She could not accept being outshined by that idiot Shinji, and she absolutely could not accept choosing to escape while letting Shinji and Rei Ayanami face danger.
Her pride, along with a deep-seated concern for her companions that even she was unwilling to admit, pushed her into making this choice.
Furthermore, although the option of a peaceful world was tempting, the thought of completely bidding farewell to the EVA-Titans and saying goodbye to this feeling of being valued and needed made her realize she was actually somewhat reluctant to let it go.
Finally, everyone's gaze landed on Rei Ayanami.
She did not respond immediately. Those red eyes first looked peacefully at Shinji, taking in all the struggle and resolve on his face, before shifting slightly, sweeping past Asuka's expression that mixed provocation with determination.
After a brief silence, she spoke calmly with that unique, flat voice: "If Ikari-kun and Asuka are both going, I will go too."
Her reason was simple and pure; it did not involve an understanding of war, nor did it contain any weighing of her own safety. It was based solely on the connection she recognized existing between herself and these two people.
The meaning of her existence seemed to be tethered to this.
Ryo quietly watched the three of them, clearly imprinting their reactions and final choices into his mind.
He saw Shinji's difficult trade-off between deep disgust and a certain sense of responsibility, saw Asuka's resolve intertwined with value recognition and the bonds of companionship, and also saw Rei Ayanami's near-absolute following based on pure connection.
"I understand," Ryo finally spoke, his voice returning to its usual steadiness, as if that solemn moment of granting them the right to choose had never happened.
"Since this is your collective decision, I will formally reply to the Steel Hound Legion that the EVA-Titan combat squad will participate in this operation on Verdant III."
He paused, his gaze sweeping over their young faces—faces that had already borne far too much—once again, and his tone turned unquestioningly explicit: "Preparation time is limited. Begin pre-war preparations immediately, focusing on familiarizing yourselves with the Ork tactical data transmitted by the Steel Hound Legion and the environmental briefing for Verdant III."
He deepened his tone slightly, emphasizing, "Remember, this time, it is no longer a simulation. It will be real combat."