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Chapter 36 - I command you

Yujun's POV

I made a big mistake.

I never should have let Jaehyun take so much of my attention the way he did. I never should have let him feed me hope like that. I never should have imagined something good would come for me.

If only I had stayed with who I am, with my family the way we are, I wouldn't feel the ache in my chest as strongly as I am feeling it right now.

I don't even have a name for it.

This strange feeling of missing someone I know I shouldn't, have I become like him too? Stupid and careless.

"Oppa" Yunah's voice calls and my hand shakes, spilling the hot coffee I was pouring from the kettle to the mug all over my hand. "Oppa!" She calls with concern.

I look up just in time to meet father's eyes and I school my expression to being blank and stoic, no alpha whines about scalding hot coffee spilling over their hand out of their own carelessness.

"I'm fine" I say to Yunah, lying through my teeth with a smile to quell her worry for me.

I want to scream.

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