Zhu Hao, utilizing the stealth of his newly acquired Five Elements Divine Escape, tunneled swiftly beneath the sacred earth of Luojia Mountain. He emerged in the center of Guanyin's lotus pond, a paradise of shimmering water and radiant spiritual flora.
"Lord Pig, what are you doing here?"
Just as he reached for a perfect, enormous spiritual lotus leaf, the familiar, booming voice of the terrifying golden carp sounded directly below him. It swam up, its golden eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"Ah, my dear Golden Brother!" Zhu Hao greeted him smoothly, his expression utterly tranquil. "I am simply gathering materials. I'll pick this one lotus leaf to collect some Pure Dew of Enlightenment for Sister Guanyin's personal consumption."
He spoke with such practiced confidence, such a lack of visible distress, that the carp hesitated.
"Does the Bodhisattva truly need lotus leaves to hold her water?" The carp's golden eyes blinked slowly, trying to reconcile the piglet's statement with its millennia of observing the Bodhisattva's boundless power. You are truly rubbing this humble fish's intelligence into the very bottom of the pond!
However, the carp remembered the piglet's previous vague but terrifying claims—"Chaos Pig Bear"—and the fact that he was currently sitting comfortably on Guanyin's mountain, a privilege the carp itself only held as a favored pet. It decided to err on the side of extreme caution. While a spiritual lotus leaf was priceless, offending a powerful backing was not worth it.
"One lotus leaf is surely enough," the carp warned, trying to place a boundary without causing offense. "Do not be greedy, lest you incur the wrath of the divine."
"Worry not, my friend! Who is Lord Pig to lie to a fellow guardian?" Zhu Hao patted his chest, projecting an aura of trustworthiness that was entirely undeserved. "You'll be delighted to know that Lord Pig shall treat you to the most delicious Seven Treasures Chicken butt later on!"
With a wink, he snatched the lotus leaf, executing the Five Elements Divine Escape and disappearing into the earth before the carp could formulate a response.
The golden carp was left floating, perplexed. "The most delicious chicken butt? Are there any ordinary chickens on Luojia Mountain? Could he possibly have—he wouldn't dare!—eaten one of the Bodhisattva's Seven Treasures Chickens?"
A wave of fear and shock rolled through the carp. The Seven Treasures Chicken was extremely precious—a peerless tonic for healing, detoxification, and even eternal beauty. Its flavor was legendary, and only a few dozen existed in the entire preserve.
If that insane piglet has eaten one, the mountain is in for a storm! The carp mentally retreated to the deepest part of the pond, hoping its association with the fugitive pig would be forgotten.
Meanwhile, Zhu Hao emerged far from the pond, finding a secluded sun-drenched patch of rock. He happily wrapped the plump Seven Treasures Chicken with the stolen spiritual lotus leaf, encased the whole bundle in a thick layer of wet mud, and began grilling it with a careful, low-flame technique.
Soon, the fragrant steam began to escape the hardened mud casing. When Zhu Hao cracked the shell, a cloud of irresistible, enticing aroma wafted out, making his own mouth water and his appetite surge with primal urgency.
"Wow, it smells like pure enlightenment!"
He quickly opened the lotus leaf. The chicken inside was perfectly tender and golden, the meat glistening with fat and juice.
Slurp!
He tore off a piece with his little claws and placed it into his mouth. The meat was so incredibly tender and juicy that the flavor—amplified by the spiritual lotus leaf wrapper—flooded his taste buds. He felt a sudden, profound, and spiritual warmth surge through his entire body. It was an experience beyond mere eating; it was a blissful, complete spiritual absorption.
Slurp! Slurp!
His two little paws worked furiously, his face glistening with oil. The sensation of comfort and warmth was utterly overwhelming.
"Is it delicious?" Suddenly, a cold, utterly indifferent voice resonated right behind him.
"TASTY!" Zhu Hao instinctively exclaimed, too lost in the ecstasy of the Beggar's Chicken to process the context. He licked his lips, completely intoxicated.
The word left his mouth, and then, a chill colder than a thousand winters shot straight from his feet to the top of his head. He recognized the voice.
"S-Sister Guanyin! It's you! You arrived just in time!" Zhu Hao's brain executed an emergency sequence. He seized the largest, most fragrant piece of the remaining chicken—a glorious leg—and jumped onto the nearby lotus platform. His mouth still shiny with grease, he offered the leg to the Bodhisattva, his big eyes wide, innocent, and perfectly flawless. "Lord Pig specially saved this massive chicken drumstick for you! I couldn't bear to eat it myself!"
"So, I should thank you for sharing my stolen, extremely valuable spiritual poultry?" Guanyin's beautiful eyes were frozen, dangerously cold. She truly wanted to smack the impudent creature into the next dimension. Why, oh why, did I bring this tiny menace to my peaceful Taoist Temple?
"No, no! It's my ultimate honor to serve you, my beautiful, majestic Sister!" Zhu Hao patted his greasy, distended belly, adopting the posture of a saint who helps others without thought of reward.
"You are just being slick and begging for a golden hoop!" Guanyin tried to sound angry, but a faint, almost imperceptible tremor of suppressed laughter touched her lips. She hadn't been this entertained in tens of thousands of years. She reached out and tapped Zhu Hao's head, a gesture of exasperated affection.
"Ouch, Lord Pig is dead!" Zhu Hao quickly swallowed the chicken leg whole, threw himself onto Guanyin's serene, white silk robes, and held on tightly with his little paws, pretending to be nothing more than a lifeless, heavy decoration.
"Go away!" Guanyin demanded, though her voice lacked conviction.
Zhu Hao did not move, maintaining his pose of profound, post-chicken death.
Guanyin was left helpless. She reached out to gently grasp Zhu Hao's neck, intending to pick him up and throw him back to his grounded spot. However, Zhu Hao was ready, tightening his little claws, refusing to budge.
"Let go, you little rascal!" Guanyin commanded, trying to apply just enough force to move him without harming him.
"Don't let go, don't let go!" Zhu Hao thought fiercely, clinging to her like a tiny, furry barnacle.
Guanyin applied a tiny, minuscule burst of spiritual force.
"Belch!" Zhu Hao's eyelids fluttered, his tongue lolled out dramatically, and his head tilted. "Lord Pig is dead, long live Lord Pig!"
Seeing the pig's ridiculous performance, Guanyin smiled slightly and gave up. Instead, she reached out and gently rubbed Zhu Hao's back and head.
It's surprisingly soft and comforting.
She rubbed him again, finding the sensation quite soothing and amusing.
Experience +200Experience +200
"Is she playing with Lord Pig like a bouncy ball now?" Zhu Hao complained internally, but seeing the steady stream of experience points, he endured the humiliation, continuing his play-dead charade.
"Lord Pig is perfectly content to be a divine football for now!"
He lowered his head, breathing in the faint, spiritual fragrance of her robes, his mind drifting into a blissful, highly productive trance.
After an unknown period of time, a new voice broke the tranquil scene.
"I, the humble monk Kasyapa, greet the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara!"
Zhu Hao snapped his head up. A solemn monk, bald and wearing simple robes, stood nearby, hands clasped, bowing respectfully.
"I wonder what important matter brings you here, Your Excellency?" Guanyin inquired gently, still absently rubbing Zhu Hao's back with one hand.
"In compliance with the command of the Buddha's teachings, I humbly invite the Great Master to visit the Great Leiyin Temple in the Western Paradise!" Kasyapa announced respectfully.
"Please inform the Buddha that I shall arrive shortly," Guanyin confirmed.
"Yes, Bodhisattva. Kasyapa bids you farewell." The monk bowed again and quickly disappeared.
Guanyin looked down at the pig in her lap, her smile fading. "Little pig, you are so incredibly naughty, what should I do with you?" she mused aloud. "If I leave you here with no one to watch over you, are you going to dismantle my entire Luojia Mountain?"
"Sister Guanyin," Zhu Hao asked, trying to buy time, "who exactly is the Buddha? Is he the fat one with the big bump on his head, the one they worship in the temples?"
Guanyin couldn't help but genuinely laugh. "What nonsense! Is there anyone else who would dare describe the Supreme Being like that?"
Her laughter subsided, and her eyes grew serious. "I think if I put this golden hoop on you, you will behave yourself."
A shimmering golden hoop, crackling with ancient, terrifying power and mysterious patterns, appeared in Guanyin's hand. It was clearly not an item to be trifled with.
"NO! Sister Guanyin, Lord Pig is honest, he is cute, and he is obedient! And you, Sister Guanyin, are so beautiful, your voice is lovely, and your mind is so broad, so utterly magnanimous and majestic! Surely, you would not force Lord Pig to wear that ugly hoop, would you?"
Zhu Hao let out a high-pitched, desperate whine, looking at her with the most pitiful eyes he could muster. Internally, he was ready to bolt.
I will not wear a brace! I will not wear one for the rest of my life!
Guanyin reached out and rubbed his head again, considering.
"I don't wear a hoop!" Zhu Hao screamed, his patience finally snapping. In a flash of pure, terrified defiance, he lashed out and bit Guanyin's jade-white palm.
At the exact same instant, he screamed the command internally:
"Travel to the nearest world!"
"HISS! If you don't want to wear it, then don't! And you bite people, you terrible little creature!" Guanyin snatched her hand back in astonishment, revealing two perfect rows of tiny, bloody teeth marks imprinted on her divine skin. She was genuinely wounded, shocked and furious.
In truth, she had only been teasing. Zhu Hao's company was a bizarre pleasure, and she had never intended to actually use the golden hoop on him. She simply wanted to scare the rogue piglet into better behavior before her trip. But she never expected him to lash out and bite a deity.
"Sister Guanyin, Lord Pig shall return! Don't you dare scare Lord Pig with that nasty golden hoop again, or Lord Pig will never play with you again!"
An invisible, sudden purple light enveloped Zhu Hao. He vanished instantly from Guanyin's sight. Only a strange, lingering echo of his arrogant voice remained, fading between the bamboo stalks and the mountain peaks.
"What in the realm was that power?"
Guanyin watched the empty space with a look of profound, solemn doubt. Even with her supreme cultivation, she couldn't detect how Zhu Hao had left, nor could she sense the power that had facilitated his escape. The shock was absolute.
"Hmph! Who wants to play with a biting pig!" Guanyin huffed, but as the image of the furious, furry, and utterly defiant piglet flashed through her mind, she couldn't help but smile slightly. His presence had broken the monotony of her eternal existence.
"I will certainly deal with you when you return! You bit me!"
Looking at the two tiny rows of seals on her hand, Guanyin snorted one last time, then urged her lotus platform westward, toward the Great Leiyin Temple.