Some days had passed since the Lullaby Incident. The guild had finally calmed down — well, as much as Fairy Tail ever could calm down.
Makarov was buried in paperwork. Erza was terrorizing Natsu and Gray into "training discipline." Lucy was trying to drink in peace while a table fight raged three meters away. And in one peaceful corner of the hall, three mages sat quietly, nursing their drinks like extras who had accidentally wandered onto the main set.
One of them was Cid. The other two were so spectacularly mob-like that their names barely deserved existence.
Some might ask: "Why don't these characters have names?"
Cid, if asked, would answer sagely:
"Someone with a name is already a side character. A true mob is a talking piece of furniture — sometimes referred to by their clothes, a distinctive haircut, a physical symbol, or not referred to at all."
But for the sake of narrative convenience, we'll refer to them as Jaga and Hyoro.
Cid sipped his juice, expression perfectly neutral. The very picture of an unimportant background extra blending into the environment.
"Ah, I wish I'd been there to see it!" Hyoro groaned, slumping dramatically over the table. "That Shadow guy appearing out of nowhere, destroying a demon in one hit — can you imagine the coolness? The aura? The silence before the strike?!"
Jaga leaned in, eyes shining like a kid hearing a ghost story. "Yeah, yeah! The atmosphere must have been crazy — dark clouds, tension in the air, everyone's mouths hanging open! That's peak coolness, man!"
Cid nodded along casually, keeping his face as blank as possible. Internally, he was glowing. (Yes… yes, continue. Glorify the legend. Let the myth spread. This is how you build a perfect legacy from the shadows…)
Jaga tilted his head. "Hey, Cid — what do you think this Shadow Garden is, anyway? Natsu said there was one guy and four women with him. You think it's, like… the Garden of Shadow? His personal harem?"
He snickered, elbowing Hyoro.
Hyoro's eyes widened, and he pressed his cheek dramatically against Jaga's shoulder. "Wait, wait… are you talking about the legendary harem? The one where the protagonist enjoys the love of multiple women at the same time!?"
Jaga nodded with mock solemnity. "Exactly. The holy grail of every shōnen hero's dream."
Cid sighed softly into his juice.
(Typical mob conversation. Utter nonsense… but perfect camouflage. I've truly mastered the art of mob-blending.)
He leaned back, adopting the tone of a humble background character who didn't know better. "I don't think so, though. Someone that strong probably just spends his time training, right? Keeping his mind sharp, body refined… you know, ascetic lifestyle and all that."
Hyoro waved him off, puffing his cheeks. "Nah, you don't get it, Cid. That's exactly why you don't have a girlfriend!"
Jaga nodded vigorously beside him. "Yeah, totally. You gotta live a little, man. Power's nothing without romance!"
Cid stared at them, deadpan. "…You don't have girlfriends either."
The two exchanged glances, their expressions briefly flickering between realization and denial.
Jaga coughed. "A-Anyway! Speaking of legends, did you ever hear about Fairy Tail's Gildarts?"
Hyoro's eyes widened. "Wait — you mean the legendary lecherous monster?!"
"The very same." Jaga grinned conspiratorially. "It's said he's the strongest in the guild. Stronger than even Master Makarov!"
"No way!" Hyoro gasped. "But he hasn't shown up in, like… what, three years?"
Jaga leaned closer, lowering his voice dramatically. "Exactly. And do you know why?"
Hyoro's pupils dilated. "…Don't tell me?"
Jaga nodded solemnly, as though revealing a dark truth. "That's right. He's been too busy visiting all his girlfriends' houses to come back to the guild!"
Hyoro gasped, clutching his head. "A man so powerful, his schedule is entirely booked by love itself!"
Cid blinked. "…That's not even remotely how that works."
But the two were already spiraling deeper into their theory.
"Wait, wait!" Hyoro said, snapping his fingers. "What if—just what if—Gildarts is actually Shadow?"
The table went quiet for one blessed second.
Then Jaga slammed his hands down, eyes sparkling with delusion. "YES! It all makes sense! The timing, the power, the mystery! Maybe he just wanted to make a cool entrance for his comeback!"
Cid set his glass down carefully, suppressing the urge to facepalm.
"Think about it," Hyoro continued, counting on his fingers. "Number one, both are stupidly strong. Number two, both are mysterious. Number three, both are men of culture."
Jaga nodded. "Exactly. It's the perfect cover story. Pretend to be wandering, but actually—secretly running an organization of beautiful women in black cloaks!"
Cid closed his eyes, exhaling deeply.
He stood up quietly, finishing his drink in one last calm sip.
"Well," he said, with all the gravitas of a man who had heard enough stupidity for one lifetime, "I'll… leave you two to your theories."
Hyoro looked up. "Where are you going, Cid?"
Cid waved lazily over his shoulder, walking off. "I'm going to the toilet..."
"Ah," Jaga said, nodding seriously. "Good idea. Never hold it in, it's bad for your magic flow."
Hyoro chimed in, equally earnest. "Yeah, one of my cousins did that once — couldn't cast spells straight for a week."
Cid paused mid-step.
(What kind of cousin does he have…?)
Jaga leaned closer to Hyoro, whispering, "You think he's gonna be long?"
Hyoro shrugged. "Depends. If he's reading the newspaper on the throne, we'll never see him again."
Jaga nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah… poor guy. May the spirits of plumbing guide him safely back."
There was a brief moment of silence between them — the kind that only true idiots could share in perfect harmony.
Then, as naturally as breathing, Jaga leaned forward again, eyes sparkling. "Anyway! Back to what really matters."
Hyoro straightened, immediately back in full gossip mode. "Right! I'm telling you, Shadow has to be Gildarts! Or maybe Gildarts is just Shadow's day job!"
Their voices blended into the usual Fairy Tail chaos — clinking glasses, laughter, brawls, and the distant sound of Natsu getting punched through a wall.
Cid slipped through it all like smoke, hands in his pockets, expression calm and utterly average.
(Now that's the perfect mob move — making an exit so ordinary it becomes invisible.)
(Mob-ility… complete.)