What should he even say? Should he tell them the truth — that he'd just been wondering why Vivi's skin was so much fairer than Nami's?
But since he had already put on airs, how was he supposed to smooth things over now?
"Cough, cough…" Sandy adjusted his posture, then looked off into the distance with a profound expression.
"The Dao that can be told is not the eternal Dao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name…"
Luffy and Usopp didn't understand a single word of what Sandy was saying — but somehow, they still felt a sense of awe.
"Hiss… amazing…"
"And? And? Keep going!" Usopp urged.
Sandy's face twitched. Back when he was in school, that was literally the only line he remembered about the Dao.
How did the rest of it go again?
Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck him.
"Cough cough." Sandy cleared his throat and continued, "Actually, if I speak too deeply, you wouldn't understand — so I'll simplify it.
Sitting here, I can feel the subtle changes in the world around me, and through that, comprehend the laws governing all things…"
At that moment, Sanji came over, cigarette dangling from his lips, and laughed.
"What you just said sounds deep, but it's basically nonsense, right?"
Damn it, this cook is forcing me to use my ultimate move!
Sandy leaned back against the railing, bit a cigarette just like Sanji, and said slowly, "Absolute motion and relative stillness prove that motion can't be reversed. Time itself is just a concept derived from motion. In other words… going back to the past—"
He froze.
He'd been about to say "is impossible," but then remembered — wasn't there a Time-Time Devil Fruit in this world?
That made his statement sound incredibly stupid.
When he stopped talking, Zoro frowned and asked, "And then?"
Sandy coughed. "What else could there be? Living in the present is what really matters. Everything else is just fleeting clouds."
Everyone fell silent.
"…That's it?"
"That's it?!"
Everyone rolled their eyes and walked away in disgust.
Just as they did, the [Pheromone System] chimed in:
[Ding! Congratulations, host — you have achieved a personal realization about universal laws. Backpack Space is now unlocked! Only the host may freely enter and exit this space.]
"Free entry and exit?" Sandy repeated. "A space for desperate escape?"
"Talking nonsense again…"
He was so overjoyed that he leaned back — and promptly fell off the railing.
"Damn it!!"
Splash!
Everyone turned at the sound.
Luffy blinked. "That scream just now — was that Sandy?"
Sanji exhaled a puff of smoke. "Don't tell me he jumped in 'cause we mocked him…"
Usopp frowned. "Sandy's not that fragile, right?"
Zoro sighed. "Stop talking and go check if he's okay."
Meanwhile, in the sea, a few fish were biting the bait left hanging from Sandy's fishing rod.
The problem? Their tormentor had fallen into the water.
Recognizing their chance for revenge, the school of fish swam straight toward him, tails flapping.
That's right — when Sandy had been "fishing," he'd actually been practicing his Observation Haki, teasing the poor fish by yanking the bait away at the last second.
Now, seeing the fish charge him, Sandy raised his middle finger.
The fish didn't understand the gesture, but they sure understood the insult.
With furious bubbles, they rushed in to attack!
Luckily, Sandy was a reformed man — no more random killing. He changed his mindset instantly and instead made a ridiculous face at them.
That only made them angrier.
On the snowy sea beside the Going Merry, a lone man was swimming for his life — chased by an entire school of fish.
From the deck, Luffy's eyes gleamed. "Whoa! I wanna swim with Sandy! But I can't swim... Hey, everyone, let's play this game too!"
"Are you insane, you bastard?!" Sanji kicked Luffy across the deck. Then he turned to Zoro. "What the hell is that idiot doing?"
Zoro deadpanned, "What does it look like? He's being chased by fish."
Usopp nodded wisely. "That's Sandy for you. Sometimes he causes more chaos than Luffy. Even fish want to beat him up!"
Luffy leaned over the railing, laughing. "Stupid fish! You'll never catch Sandy! Hahaha!"
Still swimming, Sandy looked back and shouted, "Of course not! I'm a swimming champion! Come on, smelly fish — chase me if you dare!"
Below the surface, the fish fumed.
"This human is so annoying!"
"Why can't we swim faster than him? Is he a Fish-Man?"
"No! He doesn't look like one! Whatever, just catch him already!"
On the ship, Zoro heard the word champion and began stripping off his shirt to dive in.
Sanji immediately grabbed him by the collar, "Are you crazy too? Stay put! I swear, one day you'll both drive me insane…"
After being chased for a while, Sandy finally used his Space Fruit ability to teleport back onto the ship.
Leaning over the railing, he saw the same angry school of fish still glaring up at him.
So, naturally, he started mocking them — singing and dancing like an idiot.
"La la la~ Demacia~ la la la~ lu a lu a~!"
Luffy and Usopp immediately joined in, singing and dancing with him.
Sanji and Zoro could only stare, their faces twitching in disbelief.
After a while, Sandy suddenly unzipped his pants and started peeing toward the fish.
Below, the fish panicked.
"What is he doing?!"
"I don't know—wait, what's that?"
"Is that… a gun?!"
"Scatter! Scatter!!"
At that moment, Vivi happened to walk by. She caught sight of the scene — and screamed.
Startled, Sandy lost his balance again and fell back into the sea.
Fortunately, his Space ability came to the rescue, and he instantly reappeared on deck. Vivi rushed over, face bright red.
"Sandy! Are you alright?"
He waved dismissively. "What could possibly be wrong with me?"
Feeling the water dripping down his face, he casually reached for Vivi's skirt to wipe himself off.
Vivi shrieked and clutched her skirt. Sanji immediately transformed into a furious beast beside her.
Sandy frowned. "Vivi, as a princess, shouldn't you be calm and composed? You really need to stop screaming so much."
Vivi, blushing furiously, snapped, "Aren't you cold wearing short sleeves? It's snowing!"
At her words, Luffy and Usopp both suddenly shivered.
"Hiss… it's so cold!" they said in unison.
Sanji groaned. "You're just now realizing that?!"
Sandy blinked, rubbing his arms. "Cold? Huh, yeah — it is kinda chilly."
Sanji spun around, yelling, "You too?! You just noticed?!"
As Sandy took a few steps toward the railing, he suddenly remembered something.
"Wait — where'd those smelly fish go? Hey! Don't run off! I'm not done playing yet!"
Sanji's voice echoed behind him. "Are you a total idiot?!"