Kai Langford - Feb 2116
Ugh... Why does my arm feel so numb?
I rub my eyes with my free hand, blinking until the haze softens into shapes. Faint bursts of light filter through the fabric above, and for a heartbeat, all I can see are the stars sketched across a blanket ceiling. For that brief moment, I have no idea where I am.
Then it hits me. Right, I'm in a makeshift fort.
Which can only mean one thing...
I turn my head, and there he is, 012. Or Ethan, I guess now. Fast asleep.
He's lying half on top of my arm, his head resting against my shoulder, one arm loosely draped over my chest. The blanket he'd thrown over us last night is pulled up over both of us, tucked just enough to keep the chill away. He must have done that after I'd fallen asleep. I don't remember the last time I slept so well.
I glance down at him. His breathing is steady, soft. A small curl has fallen across his closed eyes, and without thinking, I brush it away. My chest tightens.
I didn't think about it before, or maybe I just didn't let myself, but he really is… beautiful. Not just in the way he looks, but in the way he is.
It's ridiculous, really, how something as simple as a blanket fort could feel this calm, this quiet. How it could wrap around us like this, soft and safe, until the stillness itself felt almost overwhelming.
No one's ever done something like this for me before. No one's ever cared enough to. But Ethan did. He built this little sancutary just to make me smile, to give me a space where the world didn't feel so heavy.
Even after everything he's been through, he still smiles, still laughs, still finds light in places I thought were long gone. There's something about him, something I can't quite explain.
I've only known him for a small amount of time, yet somehow, he's managed to change everything. It's terrifying how someone can slip into your life so quietly, and before you realise it, they've become the very reason you enjoy wake up in the morning.
I feel mesmerised as I watch his face, as if I'm trying to memorise every detail before it fades. His light eyelashes rest gently against his skin, casting soft shadows in the dim light. His skin looks smooth, untouched by scars and there is a rare kind of peace about him that feels almost fragile. My gaze drifts lower, and before I can stop myself, it lingers on his lips.
And then it all comes rushing back.
The kiss.
A wave of heat creeps up my neck, flooding my cheeks until I can't take it anymore. I groan softly and cover my face with my free hand, as if that could somehow erase the embarrassment burning through me.
I can't believe I actually kissed him.
And right after he'd opened up to me, after he told me how he ended up here. What was I thinking? He was vulnerable, I was supposed to be there for him, not... take advantage of that moment. The thought twists in my chest, sour and guilty.
But when he had told me his name, it felt like he was giving me a piece of himself, something private and real that no one else had touched. It wasn't just a name, it was trust. And in that instant, before I could think, before I could even breathe, I wanted to show him what that meant to me.
Now, lying here beside him, hearing the quiet rhythm of his breathing, only one thought pops into my mind... God, I want to kiss him again. The memory of last night still lingers, soft, warm, and dizzying. It had felt too good.
While I'm lost in the thought, I feel a faint stir beside me. I freeze, and slowly lower my hand from my face. Ethan shifts, eyelids fluttering open as he blinks himself awake. His eyes, with that soft shade of green that always seems to catch the light, meets mine. A sleepy smile spreads across his face, and just like that, my heart forgets how to behave.
"Morning," he murmurs, his voice rough and quiet, still heavy with sleep.
It takes me a second to remember how to speak. My throat feels tight, my pulse loud in my ears, but somehow I manage a weak, "Morning."
He props himself up on one arm, leaning just enough to look down at me, his smile deepening. Suddenly, his hand reaches out to brush against my cheek, his thumb tracing lightly across where my scar is, every muscle in my body tenses. I swear he must be able to hear my heartbeat.
"Why are you so red?" he teases softly, the corners of his mouth lifting.
I can feel the heat rise all over again, my words tumbling somewhere between my chest and my throat. He must have noticed, because he laughs, quiet and breathy, before leaning closer, until I can feel his breath near my ear.
"Were you thinking something naughty" he whispers laced with tease.
A shiver runs straight down my spine and I turn away sharply, trying to hide the fact that I was. It's too much, too close, too easy to lose myself again.
I sit up abruptly, desperate for space, this is getting dangeorus. But Ethan catches my wrist before I can move. His grip is gentle yet firm, and in one smooth motion, he tugs me back down. I land against the blanket with a startled breath, and he pushes me down before climbing up on top of me. He leans close enough for me to see the faint blush colouring his cheeks.
My mind goes completely blanks.
When he speaks, his voice is quieter this time, softer around the edges.
"You were, weren't you?" a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"erm…" I manage, but the rest of the words slip away.
For a heartbeat, neither of us moves. The air feels charged, like something fragile and electric hangs between us. Then he smiles changes, smaller now, almost shy, and he lowers his head until our foreheads nearly touch.
"I'm glad you did," he says quietly.
And just like that, all the guilt, the confusion, and the noise fade. There's only the sound of his breathing and the steady rhythm of my heart trying to catch up.
He's so close, too close, and yet somehow still feels miles away. Every breath between us feels heavy, and I can't stop myself anymore.
Before I even realise it, my hand is on his cheek, fingers sliding into his hair just behind his ear. The moment I touch him, something in him shifts, like a thread pulled too tight finally giving way. And he closes the distance in an instant.
Our lips meet, and the world narrows to that single point of contact, the warmth of him, the unsteadiness of our breaths, the quiet urgency in the space between us. His hand finds its way to the side of my neck, slightly brushing the collar and holding me there as if afraid I'll disappear.
It's feels more than just a kiss; it's everything we've both been too afraid to say out loud. Every unspoken thought, every late-night glance, every moment of silence that somehow meant more.
My heart feels like it's trying to tear its way out of my chest, but I don't care. For once, I don't want to think, I just want to feel.
When we finally part, the air between us feels fragile. He looks at me, breath unsteady, eyes brighter than I've ever seen them.
I don't want to stop. Every part of me aches to close the space between us again, to get lost in that feeling just once more, but before I can move, a sharp click echoes through the room.
"Afternoon experiments will commence in one hour."
The announcement cuts through the air, cold and mechanical. We both freeze as reality slams back into place like a wall between us.
The silence that follows feels heavier than before, filled only by the sound of our breathing, shallow, uneven, still charged with everything that almost happened.
"They sure know how to ruin the fun," Ethan murmurs, his voice light but edged with something tired. A small smile tugs at his lips as he pulls away.
He sits back and stretches. "Come on, let's get lunch. I'm starving."
It takes me a moment to remember how to breathe properly. I push myself up, my head still spinning.
I must have been more exhausted than I thought if I slept through breakfast and the morning training session.
"Did you not get breakfast?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck.
He glances over his shoulder, that familiar grin returning. "How could I leave such a sleepy kitten behind?" A laugh escapes me before I can help it. A kitten, really? The word sounds ridiculous, but somehow, coming from him, it doesn't sting.
Then he pauses, tilting his head slightly. "But, uh… before we go, maybe you should sort yourself out first," he says, smirking.
It takes me a second to realise what he means, and when I do I look down. My entire face burns. "Oh... right," I stammer, immediately looking away, heat rushing to my ears.
He laughs softly, though when I glance back, I catch a hint of red colouring his own cheeks. The sight only makes my heart race faster.
I need to leave. I need to clear my head before I lose my mind. I start to crawl toward the edge of the fort, but before I can duck out, Ethan moves in front of me, blocking the way.
"What are-"
He doesn't let me finish. His hand cups my face, and before I can think, he presses a quick, soft kiss to my lips. It's fleeting, over almost before it begins, but it still leaves me breathless.
"Hurry up," he says, his voice quiet but playful. "lets eat"
I just stare at him for a moment, words caught in my throat. Then, with one last glance, feeling flustered, I push past the blanket flap and step out of the fort. The air outside feels cooler, grounding.
Still, as I make my way toward the showers, I can't stop the small, dazed smile that spreads across my face. No matter how hard I try, I can still feel the warmth of his touch lingering against my skin.
___________________________________
We both finish our lunches quicker than usual. The moment the trays hit the table, we're already digging in, and for a while, it's just the soft clatter of utensils and the warmth of food after a long morning.
When we finally slow down, Ethan leans back with a satisfied sigh. "I swear, this stuff tastes better when you're half-dead from hunger," he says, grinning.
I can't help the laugh that slips out, light, warm, and strangely fluttery in my chest. "If you were that hungry, you should've gone for breakfast then," I tease, trying to sound stern but failing completely.
He leans forward, eyes bright, and that mischief grin of his, spreading wide. "But I didn't want to wake you up just to make you come with me," he says, voice soft, almost intimate, and it hits me in a way that makes my stomach do a small flip.
"You do know you can eat without me, right?" I say, still teasing.
He tilts his head, then shakes it with easy certainty. "I'd rather starve," he says, as if the idea of being without me is too terrible to even imagine.
I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face. He notices and leans closer, hands brushing mine. "You're so dramatic" I laugh, shaking my head, but my words are half-lost under the sudden thrum of my own heartbeat.
"I know," he says, eyes sparkling.
Lunch continues like it usually does, with small jokes, quiet conversations, and the occasional teasing glance, but something about it feels different today. Everything feels different.
Maybe it's the way his smile keeps finding me across the table, or the way his knee brushes mine under it, barely noticeable but impossible to ignore. The butterflies won't stop. They're loud, restless, fluttering in my chest like they've been waiting for this moment just as long as I have.
For the first time in longer than I can remember, I actually feel… happy. Completely, genuinely happy. Like the walls don't exist, like the experiments, the fear, the numbers, none of it matters. Not while he's looking at me like that.
But reality never gives us much time.
The sound of boots echoes down the corridor, heavy and cold, and two guards appear at the door, expressionless as always, their presence slicing through the quiet. Lunch is over.
We stand, and the spell breaks. The guards gesture for us to follow them to our separate experimentation rooms, but before we part ways, Ethan reaches out and catches my hand. His grip is warm, grounding, but I can feel the tension in it, the hesitation.
"Don't push yourself today, okay?" he says quietly, worry etched deep into his voice. His brows pull together, and I can tell he's remembering the state I came back in yesterday, barely able to stand and half-conscious.
The thought makes my stomach twist, but I force a small smile. "Don't worry. I'll see you at dinner, alright?" I squeeze his hand gently, hoping it's enough to ease the worry in his eyes, but he doesn't let go right away. His thumb brushes against the back of my hand, a small, almost unconscious motion, before he nods.
"Just make sure you don't push yourself either," I add softly.
He smiles again, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I won't" he says, though we both know it's not really up to him.
For a moment, neither of us moves. The guards don't say anything, but their presence looms, impatient. Ethan finally lets go, and the warmth of his touch fades too quickly.
As we're led down separate corridors, I glance back one last time, and he's already looking at me, with that same faint smile still on his face.
And as we round the corner, a thought sneaks into my mind, sharp and unwelcome.
If this place ever takes him from me, I don't know what I'll do...
My thoughts are so tangled with Ethan, so much that I didn't even realise where the guard is taking me. Not until the familiar, cold corridor comes into view and my stomach sinks.
We're not heading toward the experimentation room, but instead we're heading to my father's office.
A chill runs through me... Did he find out? Does he know about me and Ethan?
I stop outside the door, frozen for a moment, my pulse hammering in my ears. I take in a deep breath and step inside.
He's there, like always, seated neatly behind his desk, posture straight, expression unreadable. The air feels heavier in here, sterile and controlled, like even the walls are listening.
"Kai," he says as the door shuts behind me, his voice clipped and calm. "It's come to my attention there have been distractions while I was away at the lab."
The words hit like a knife to the gut.
He knows.
Shit. He knows.
My mind starts racing. I can't let him take Ethan from me. I need to think, fast. What would Noah do? He always knew how to handle Father, how to say the right thing, how to survive these conversations.
But before I can form a plan, my father's voice cuts through my panic.
"I think you're ready to join Special Operation Division."
The words hang in the air.
Special Division Operation. The very thing I've been working so hard toward, the one goal that's kept me going for a chance to finally see Noah again. And for a heartbeat, hope flickers within me. But that hope is crushed almost instantly by the weight of another thought.
Ethan.
If I leave… what happens to him?
I hesitate, my mind scrambling to process everything that's happened since last night, and that hesitation is all it takes.
My father's gaze sharpens, a flicker of disappointment flashing across his eyes. The air seems to thickens, almost suffocating, and suddenly everything moves too fast.
"Emotions only hinder progress," he murmurs, his voice low, deliberate. "You must learn to set them aside."
Before I can respond, the door slams open behind me and heavy footsteps pound against the floor, each one echoing in my chest.
What is going on? but before I can ask, I feel a sudden pressure presses against my neck, cold and firm. A sharp sting follows, and a warmth spreads through my veins, heavy and disorienting. My limbs grow sluggish, my thoughts wobble, and the edges of the room begin to blur.
The world seems to tilt and sounds stretch and warp. My knees buckle. And then… darkness swallows me whole.
_______________________________
Everything is dark. My head feels heavy, my thoughts slow and scattered. There's something wet on my face, sweat, maybe, and the world spins whenever I try to move. I can barely force my eyes open.
Where… am I?
A voice cuts through the fog, distant but sharp enough to pierce the darkness."Dr. Langford… he's at his limit. We need to stop."
The sound stirs something inside me, but my body won't respond. I'm trapped somewhere between waking and nothingness, until a scream tears through the air, raw and agonising. It rips straight through the fog in my head.
Ethan.
The sound of his voice drags me back to myself. My hands twitch, muscles trembling as I fight against the restraints. The sedative is wearing off, barely, but enough to make me feel the cold bite of the metal around my wrists.
"Wh… what…" The words stumble out of me, slurred and broken, but it's enough. Ethan's head snaps up, blood streaking down his face.
"Kai! You're okay!" he gasps, breathless, voice ragged with relief.
That sound, my name in his voice, it's like a spark in the dark. I blink, fighting the heaviness clouding my vision, until I can see him properly.
"Ethan?" I manage, my voice shaking. Confusion, relief, and something else twist together until it's almost too much.
He gives me a weak smile, one that doesn't reach his eyes. Blood drips from his nose and eyes, painting his face red. "I thought… you were going to die…"
My stomach twists. I take in the sight of him, trembling, bleeding, barely holding himself up, and something inside me snaps.
"What happened to you?" My voice cracks as I yank against the restraints. The metal digs deep into my wrists, but I don't care. I have to reach him. I have to.
Panic burns through me, fast and wild, and before I can think, my shadows respond. They coil around my arms like living smoke, tightening, straining against the bonds. One of the restraints gives way with a sharp metallic snap.
I can feel it, the pull of my power, dark and alive, rising in my chest.
The lights flicker once, and then the shadows move. They burst from my hand before I can think, fast, heavy, a wave of black slamming outward. The guards are too slow to react and I lash out.
Panic twists into anger when I catch sight of 012, gasping for air. The shadows keep spreading, crawling over the floor and up the walls, pulsing in time with my heartbeat. Every breath seems to feed them, make them stronger.
Someone's shouting, orders, maybe, but it's distant, muffled, like I'm hearing it through water.
"Stand down, 004!"
The voice barely reaches me before the shadows lash out again on their own, as if they were trying to protect me. Darkness slowly floods the room, swallowing the lights one by one.
Stripped of everything but one thought, one purpose. Protect Ethan. Nothing else exists. Nothing else matters.
"Stop him now!" someone shouts above me, their voice cold and commanding.
Then it hits. A searing, electric pain explodes from the collar at my neck, flooding through every nerve in my body. My muscles seize, my back arches, the pain steals the breath right out of me.
The world starts to fade again, colours bleeding into black. My body goes slack, the fight draining from me. My chest heaves, the air thick and bitter.
Through the blur, I find Ethan one last time. His face, blood from his eyes, his nose, his expression twisted in pain and fear.
And then it hits me, heavier than the pain ever could.
I couldn't protect him.
That thought is the last thing I remember before everything goes dark again.
_____________________________
"Wake up, Kai."
The voice cuts through the haze, calm, commanding, and then a sharp sting pierces my neck. My eyes snap open.
I gasp for air, chest heaving, sweat dripping from my face onto the cold floor beneath me. Every breath feels too loud in the silence. My head is pounding, a dull, rhythmic ache that makes the room tilt when I try to move.
I shift my arms, only to hear the clatter of metal. My hands are encased in reinforced restraints, thick, mechanical cuffs bolted to the wall by chains that hum faintly with energy. I test them once and they don't budge.
The room feels unbearably hot, the air thick enough to choke on. My body feels heavy, as though gravity has doubled. I blink hard, trying to focus, but my mind is a blur of static and my memories feel scattered.
"Kai."
The voice again, closer this time. I try to find it, but the world keeps slipping sideways. Shapes blur together and I can't tell what's real.
My head drops forward, too heavy to hold up, but then a hand grips my chin, forcing it upward. The light burns my eyes; I squint against it, trying to make sense of the silhouette in front of me.
Ethan... his familiar smirk, that teasing glint in his eyes. For a moment, relief cuts through the fog. He's safe. He found me.
But the image wavers. The smile falters. Blood begins to run from his eyes, down his nose, dripping from his chin. I blink hard, heart hammering, and when my vision clears.
It isn't Ethan at all...
It's my father.
His grip tightens on my jaw, steady and unyielding. There's no warmth in his eyes, just calculation.
"You've made quite a mess" he says quietly, almost to himself. "Let's see if you understand the consequences of your actions."
The room hums around me, machines coming to life, restraints tightening as my pulse spikes. The shadows stir faintly under my skin, but I'm too weak to call them.
All I can do is stare back at him, the edges of my vision blurring again.
"Where's Ethan?" I croak, my voice brittle, barely rising above a whisper. It feels wrong even to speak, like my own body is betraying me.
My father releases his grip on my chin, shoving my face away with a practiced motion, and rises to his full height. He exhales slowly, deliberately, like he's savouring the weight of what he's about to say.
"012 failed to complete the task assigned to him during his last experimentation session," he says, his tone flat, clinical. Each word hits me like a hammer. My chest tightens. My pulse hammers against my ribs, erratic and wild.
I try to breathe, but it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room.
"As a result, 012 burned out, and died during the test."
The words hang in the air, solid and cold and my mind seizes. The room spins, the walls narrowing, and every instinct screams that this cannot be real. He died? No…
My body trembles. I want to lunge, to scream, to shake him until he tells me it's a lie, but I'm trapped. Chains bite into my skin, my muscles weak, my mind scrambling for something, anything, that makes sense.
My chest tightens until it's impossible to draw a proper breath.
I clutch at the air, trying to grasp a memory, a reason, a miracle that could undo this. But all I feel is the emptiness of loss, sharp and unrelenting.
"He's gone," my father continues, calm, unyielding, as if stating a fact about the weather. "Kai, you should realise by now that everything you touch seems to either brake or get destoryed."
The words don't just sting, they pierce, split me from the inside out. Rage, grief, fear, helplessness, all fused into a pulse of heat beneath my skin. The shadows under it all stir faintly, whispering, waiting, wanting to lash out.
Why does this keep happening to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I didn't ask for any of it. So why am I the one who always ends up here, trapped, bleeding, breaking?
The thought barely forms before my voice follows it, small and cracked."Then just let me die…" I whisper. "Why can't you just terminate me, like you do to all the others?"
The words spill out, raw, trembling between anger and despair. My throat tightens halfway through, but I force them out anyway. Maybe he'll finally listen. Maybe he'll see that I can't take any more.
My father exhales sharply, the sound colder than any answer. "We've had this conversation before, Kai."
Of course we have. He says it like that makes it less cruel.
"You must get stronger, for your brother's sake."
Noah. The name hits me like a wound reopening. I close my eyes, trying to hold onto the image of him, the rare softness in his expression, the quiet steadiness in his voice. He's never knew what to say, he was never good with comfort, but when he's near, the noise in my head goes quiet. The world stops spinning.
I wish he were here now. Just… here. I wouldn't need words. I'd just need to know that someone still sees me as human.
I would do anything for Noah, but I just can't take it anymore. I lower my head, staring at the floor blurred by sweat and tears. "I'm tired," I whisper, more to myself than to him. "I don't want to be strong anymore."
He doesn't answer right away, but when he finally speaks, his voice is detached.
"You don't have a choice, Kai." His words final as he turns and leaves the room.
And that's when it breaks me, the certainty in his tone, the cold finality of it. Because he's right. I don't.
Something inside me splinters. A quiet fracture, invisible but complete, that spreads through my chest and settles in my bones. And the tears pour out, each drop hitting the floor.
My heart feels hollow, my mind numb. Anger and despair twist together in a tangle so tight it leaves me gasping, clawing at the chains that hold me as if the metal could somehow loosen under my grief.
I close my eyes, letting my head hang. Every hope, every spark of resistance I ever had seems to drain away with my breath. I can't fight. I can't run. I can't even die.
And in that stillness, I stop hoping. Not just for freedom, or for mercy, or even for survival, I stop hoping for anything at all.
All that's left is a hollow ache, a quiet, endless surrender that coils itself around me, heavy and suffocating. I am here. I am broken. And no one is coming to save me.