Noah Langford - Recount of October 2113
"Happy birthday, Master Noah," one of the servants says as I pull at my bow tie, already loosening it before they finish speaking.
I give a small, polite smile and nod in acknowledgment. The response is automatic like always.
I do not feel any particular attachment to the statement.
I am exhausted.
The evening has been long, structured, and predictable. The "party" functioned less as a celebration and more as a curated event. A gathering designed for observation, for introductions, for my father to present outcomes rather than celebrate a person.
I scan the room as the guests clear and the servants begin restoring order. Glasses are collected, conversations fade, and the atmosphere shifts from performance back to maintenance.
Kai is not here.
I have not seen him for several hours.
He was present at the beginning and after that he disappeared, which is consistent with his tolerance for these events.
I leave the room and head upstairs, moving through the corridor toward his bedroom. When I knock, there is only a brief delay before the door opens.
Kai stands there, hair still wet. He has likely just finished showering.
"Noah?" he says, stepping back slightly to let me in.
"I was wondering where you went" I reply, walking past him and sitting on the edge of his bed.
He remains standing for a moment, running a towel through his hair, unbothered by the silence.
"There was no reason for me to stay" he says.
"It is your birthday as well" I point out.
He scoffs lightly at that and tosses the towel onto a nearby chair.
"Yeah… sure," he mutters before stepping closer and briefly ruffling my hair. "Did you have fun?"
"The best..." I say flatly, rolling my eyes.
That earns a quiet laugh from him and I watch him for a moment.
I reach into my jacket pocket and take out an envelope, holding it out to him.
He looks at it without taking it immediately. "What is that?"
"Your birthday gift" I say.
"Noah," he replies, already sounding resistant.
"I am aware you do not like gifts. Open it anyway." I press the envelope into his hand.
He hesitates briefly, then gives in and opens it. The shift in his expression is immediate. Subtle, but unmistakable.
"What is this?" he asks, eyes moving over the contents again.
"You said you liked that band" I reply.
"I do, but…" He pauses, looking back at the tickets. "They sold out almost straight away. How did you get these?"
"That is not relevant" I say, allowing a small smile.
He continues to look at them, and although he says nothing further, the reaction is clear enough. The way his focus sharpens, the slight lift in his expression. It is sufficient confirmation.
"But I did not get you anything" he says after a moment.
"That was not the objective-"
His phone starts ringing before I finish.
He glances at the screen, and something in his expression shifts. It's small and controlled, but noticeable.
"Give me a second" he says, already turning toward the bathroom.
I remain where I am as he steps inside and closes the door partway.
I do not intend to listen. But I do.
"Cole," he says, his voice softer than before. "Why are you calling this late?"
I cannot hear the response, but I recognise the name.
Cole. A frequent presence. Someone Kai spends time with outside of this environment. Someone who seems to affect him in ways that are… noticeable.
Kai lets out a quiet laugh. "Thanks. You didn't need to call just for that."
A pause.
"What, next week?" he continues. "Yeah… I can come round."
The conversation continues briefly before ending. When Kai steps back out, he is still looking at his phone.
And he is smiling.
Outside the house he is always surrounded by others who choose to be around him. They talk to him, laugh with him, include him without it being arranged.
My time is structured differently. Study, expectation, repetition. Even when Kai attempts to involve me, it rarely succeeds. Father ensures otherwise.
"Who was that?" I ask, as if I have not already identified the answer.
Kai shrugs lightly as he sets his phone down on the desk. "Just Cole. He wanted to know if I'd stay over next weekend."
He says it simply, like it is nothing of consequence.
Then he drops back onto the bed beside me, stretching out and closing his eyes, one arm resting loosely across his forehead. I watch him without saying anything.
The smile is still there. Faint, but present. It lingers in a way I do not fully understand and I study it for a moment longer than necessary.
Is that what it is? The result of something as simple as… friendship?
The idea sits oddly in my mind, unfamiliar in practice, even if I understand it in theory. I have observed it often enough. The way people gravitate towards each other without structure or obligation.
Kai exists within that naturally... I do not.
There is a brief pause as the thought settles, then shifts. And then something aligns.
"Kai," I say.
"Mm?" he responds, not opening his eyes.
"I have identified an appropriate birthday gift."
That gets his attention.
He opens his eyes and turns his head slightly to look at me, suspicion already forming, subtle but immediate.
I meet it with a small, controlled smile.
_______________________________
"This is a bad idea, Noah. A stupid one, actually" Kai says as he works through my hair, his movements more forceful than necessary.
I stay still and let him finish. "It is only for one day," I reply.
Kai doesn't answer straight away. I can see his expression shift in the mirror, the concern not even slightly hidden.
For my birthday gift, I asked for one thing. Not something material. Not something useful.
Just… this.
To spend one day in his place. To understand what it is like to move through a space where people choose to be around you. Where interaction is not scheduled or required.
Even if it is artificial.
Even if it is temporary.
Kai refused at first. Repeatedly. The answer did not change no matter how I approached it. Until eventually, persistence outweighed resistance.
Now we are here.
He had made me sit down earlier and explained everything in detail. Who to speak to, who to avoid, what to say, what not to say. Even how to adjust my tone so it aligns more closely with his.
And still, he keeps trying to stop this.
Kai steps back slightly once he finishes, his hands pausing for a second before dropping to his sides. "You can still change your mind, he says.
"I will not" I answer.
I look into the mirror properly as he moves to stand beside me.
For a moment, the distinction disappears.
Our faces have always been the same, but the differences made it easy to tell us apart. Our Hair colour, our presentation our expression.
Now those variables are gone.
My hair is black. Styled the way he usually wears it.
I am wearing his uniform.
And Kai-
Kai pulls a woollen hat down over his own hair, covering the one thing that would immediately give him away, and adjusts my uniform onto himself with clear reluctance.
We stand side by side and I allow a small smile to form as I study the reflection.
Kai doesn't.
"This is stupid" he says again, quieter this time, like repeating it might still change the outcome.
____________________________
We manage to leave the house without being seen. That is entirely Kai's doing.
He moves through the corridors with quiet precision, checking before turning corners, listening before opening doors. I follow without question.
Now we stand outside his school.
Students move past us in loose groups, conversations overlapping, movement unstructured but natural. There is no system to it, no visible order, and yet everyone seems to know where they belong.
Kai turns to me, his expression still tight. "Call me straight away if anything happens. Got it?"
"I understand" I reply, giving a small nod.
Before I can say anything further, an arm suddenly wraps around my neck and pulls me sideways.
The force is abrupt but not hostile and I am pulled into something that resembles a half-embrace, half-restraint.
"Kai, mate," the boy says, grinning, "I heard it was your birthday at the weekend."
I look up at him, registering details quickly, then glance back at Kai.
He is watching. Trying to appear neutral, but failing slightly. I search through memory until I find a match.
Dylan.
"Hi, Dylan," I say, attempting to mirror Kai's usual tone.
He laughs immediately. "Hi Dylan? Where's the usual 'get off me'?"
I pause.
That was an incorrect response, but before the silence stretches too far, Kai steps in.
"I'll be heading off" he says, already shifting back.
Dylan looks over at him. "Oh, this is your brother, right? Noah?"
Kai nods, now playing my role. The bell rings before anything else can be said, cutting through the moment.
Dylan groans lightly. "We should probably get inside before we get told off again."
He doesn't wait for agreement. His arm tightens slightly as he starts pulling me toward the building, like this is routine.
I turn my head slightly, looking back.
Kai is still standing where I left him... Watching looking unsure. But it's too late to go back now.
_____________________
The lessons pass without much difficulty. I speak when necessary, but not often. That, I realise quickly, works in my favour.
People tend to gather around Kai, but they do not expect constant conversation from him. His presence alone seems to be enough.
Throughout the day, I am called over again and again. Invited to sit with different groups, pulled into conversations I am not entirely prepared for. It is… unexpected.
I also notice how often girls approach him. Their attention is direct, but not overwhelming. Still, each interaction requires careful thought. I have to consider tone, expression, timing. What would Kai say? How would he respond?
Several of them comment on it.
"You seem different today."
But none of them question it deeply enough to expose me. By the time the final bell rings, I am invited to go to the arcade with them. To go with... friends.
The thought lingers longer than it should.
It has been… enjoyable, experiencing this. Being included without structure or obligation. People choosing to spend time with you.
I don't think I have smiled this much in a single day and that realisation settles into something quieter. Something heavier.
Kai has this every day and I have none of it. Even Finn… Finn is only connected to me because of Kai.
I finish packing my things when I hear his name called again.
"Kai."
I look up.
Cole is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching me with a small, familiar smile.
I recognise him immediately.
I walk over, adjusting my bag slightly on my shoulder. "Hi" I say, keeping my tone even.
He doesn't respond straight away. Instead, he studies me, his eyes narrowing slightly, like something isn't aligning.
"Hey Cole," a girl steps up beside me. "We're heading to the arcade. You coming?"
Cole glances between us, then nods. "Yeah, I'll come. Just need Kai for a second. We'll meet you there."
She doesn't question it. "See you there" she says before leaving.
I turn back to him. "What do you need help with?"
Cole lets out a quiet breath, almost amused. "Come on" he says, turning away. "Follow me."
I hesitate for only a moment before doing so.
We move through the corridors, further away from the main flow of students, until the noise fades. He leads me into a part of the school that is no longer used. One of the empty classrooms.
Dust settles over everything. The desks are unused and there are books that have been left behind.
I glance around, confusion settling in.
"What do you-" I start, turning back to him.
He steps closer, too quickly.
The shift is immediate. The distance between us disappears before I can process it properly and my thoughts stall as his lips find mine.
This is not what I expected.
One of his hands drifts to the edge of my belt as he keeps kissing me, like this is something familiar.
My thoughts stall, then surge all at once, trying to make sense of it.
Why is he... Why with Kai?
Nothing aligns fast enough.
I try to push back, to create some distance, but the moment his hand moves lower, a sudden, unfamiliar warmth shoots through me and my body freezes in place, caught somewhere between reaction and confusion.
"What's with you today, Kai?" Cole murmurs against me. "You're usually the one who can't hold back."
The words don't register properly at first.
Can't… hold back?
I turn my head sharply, breaking the contact, trying to get a clear breath, to think, to understand what is happening and what I am supposed to do.
But before I can fully pull away, he's already moved, his attention shifting, not noticing the hesitation, the mismatch.
"Wait" I say, more urgently this time.
But he doesn't stop.
Then suddenly Cole is pulled away from me so abruptly that I stumble back against one of the desks, the impact knocking the air from my lungs.
I look up, disoriented.
Cole is on the floor, one hand pressed to his cheek, shock written across his face.
"What the fuck -" he starts.
And then I see him.
Kai.
The real Kai.
He stands between us, his posture rigid, his expression sharper than I have ever seen it. His hat is gone, his hair visible again, and there is no attempt to hide the anger on his face.
"Kai?" Cole says, confusion cutting through his voice as he looks between the two of us. "What the hell is going on?"
Kai doesn't answer him.
He throws his hat toward me without even turning. "Put that on," he says, his voice controlled but edged with something unmistakably sharp. "And go outside, Noah."
I freeze for half a second. Not because I don't understand but because of the tone.
Then I move. I do exactly as he says, stepping past them and out into the corridor without looking back.
The door closes behind me.
I stand there, the quiet of the hallway pressing in as I try to steady my breathing.
And only then do I start to process what just happened.