The next morning we thanked Janosch again who had come by to check on Berta.
From a short conversation I learned that Lia was already feeling better and on the road to recovery. A warm cup of tea and going to bed early had apparently done her good. They would rest today and set out again the next day.
"I have also spoken with my friend the innkeeper. If you do not know where to go tonight you are free to use the stable" Janosch said with a warmhearted smile.
"Oh thank you very much. That is very kind. If needed we will come back to that" I thanked him.
It truly felt good to know that there were people like him and the innkeeper in the world.
After saying our goodbyes we made our way to the next stage of our journey.
We turned from a busier street into a noticeably quieter alley. The ground was uneven and full of potholes. There was no paving here. Weeds grew along the edges of the path and dirty water had collected in all the holes and irregularities. In some places there were so many puddles that we were forced to step into them. The alley was barely wide enough for two people to walk side by side which is why I walked ahead.
Far in the back I finally found what I had been looking for: a simple wooden door hanging slightly askew in its hinges. Above it was a sign with symbols that were barely decipherable anymore. The window next to it was small and covered in a thick layer of dust as if it had not seen water in years. Through the wooden door muted hammering could be heard as well as occasional scraping and squeaking.
"Do not tell me this is the place" Kiyan said grumpily.
My hand was already resting on the door handle as I answered:
"With a profession like this you cannot afford to draw attention to your cover business."
"Sure but still we have to be extremely careful" he countered and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"You can be at ease there is no danger. The man is harmless. However it is your decision. If you still want to accompany me you are welcome. But if you have changed your mind I will respect that" I said to the two of them.
Then they fell silent. With pale faces they seemed to think for a while. After a brief time Marcy furrowed her brow.
I took a deep breath and added:
"Unfortunately there is no other way. Anyone who has ever seen a map of our country should know that. And if there are other ways I am not aware of them. That is why we need someone who can bypass the strict harbor control."
"And this person is really a friend of your family?" Marcy asked me with a worried expression.
I nodded.
"I do not like to say it but even the last time I already thought that your family… well. I do not know if I would have let my children near someone like that" she murmured with a hint of guilt in her eyes. Then her gaze avoided mine entirely.
I let my eyes sweep over the alley to make sure no one was listening. No one else was in sight.
Then I explained to her:
"I know what you mean. Maybe I can tell you the story one day so that you can understand. But I can tell you this much to put you at ease. He does not ask for a high price only for what he absolutely needs. And he does not bring just anyone across the border but only people with a very good reason. For example when survival in their current country can no longer be guaranteed. Or to reunite families."
She raised one eyebrow.
Then I wanted to know from the two of them:
"So I am going in. Are you coming with me?"
For a moment their gazes met. Then Marcy nodded and we stepped inside.
No sooner had the door opened than the loud ringing of a bell pierced our ears announcing our entry. There seemed to be two rooms. The small square that formed the customer area and another room whose door was located behind the shop counter. On the counter lay a pair of shoes one missing its sole while the other seemed to have been patched several times. Next to the pair lay tools likely used to resole shoes. On one wall hung pliers files and hammers in almost every size. Wood shavings lay scattered across the floor and behind the counter stood a crooked shelf full of broken things such as a leather bag field tools shoes wooden handles and even parts of a horse harness. The whole shop smelled of resin and old leather.
No person was in sight but since the door behind the counter stood open I could hear the familiar sound of a hammer working on something.
I stepped up to the counter while Marcy and Kiyan stayed near the entrance. In the adjoining room I saw part of an uneven workbench that was covered with tools. An oil lamp was attached to it bathing everything in warm dim light. The rest of the room was just as cluttered with all sorts of things as the salesroom.
Carefully I spoke up:
"Hello? Artur are you here?"
I leaned forward against the counter to get a better view of the room. But I could not see anyone.
After my call the hammering stopped and a voice muttered something unintelligible. The floorboards creaked. Then a loud thud.
With heavy steps the man I knew as Artur entered the room. He looked older than I remembered but overall he had hardly changed. He was middle aged had stubble on his chin and black curly hair that stuck out in all directions. He wore a half moon shaped pair of glasses on his nose which made him look much older than he actually was.
He examined me first and then Kiyan and Marcy in the background with great precision before lowering his gaze again.
"Yes what is it. Who is asking for old Art?" he asked while twisting a metal piece in his hand.
"Just little old me" I replied with a smile.
When Artur heard my voice he looked up with raised eyebrows which made his forehead look incredibly wrinkled then scratched the back of his head and said:
"Am I supposed to know you?"
I tilted my head and answered:
"Uhh… well… do you not remember me?"
Before I could say my name he suddenly exclaimed:
"Oh that head tilt. That could only be Nova!"
He dropped the metal piece onto the counter and hobbled around it with arms spread wide. A broad grin lay on his face.
For a heartbeat he paused looked at me and then remarked:
"How tall you have grown. I almost did not recognize you. How old were you the last time I saw you? Ten?"
"Eleven" I corrected him with a smile.
He took my hand and squeezed it briefly. His hands felt rough and at the same time greasy. I gave him a warm smile.
"Eleven… yes yes that is right. How old are you now if one may ask?" he inquired. His gaze was directed at his counter but he did not seem to be focusing on anything.
As I began to speak he looked up again and braced his arms on the counter:
"Twenty. But I unfortunately do not have time to reminisce. I need your help. My father said I should come to you. Because of… you know."
He narrowed his eyes and scratched the back of his head again as if he had to think very hard:
"Your father?"
I gave him a brief moment to think then answered:
"Yes… Eoghan."
"Oh Eoghan. Yes yes. I understand. Great man. I have known him for ages" he said and nodded several times in approval while wiping his dirty hands on his leather apron.
Thank you for doing that just now.
He furrowed his brow and his eyes fixed once more on my two travel companions.
Just as I inhaled to say something Artur said:
"Nova I understand what you are trying to say. But if you want to talk to me about this then only in private. No strangers. That is not negotiable."
I turned my head toward the entrance.
Marcy and Kiyan were still standing in the same place holding back uncertainly as if they did not know whether to step inside or turn back.
I faced Artur again who now pointed at the two and said in a serious tone:
"So send them away. Immediately. Then we will talk."
"It is fine they are with me. Besides it concerns them just as much" I tried to explain to him.
I was getting nervous which made my stomach twist.
Artur however did not seem interested in my words and simply shook his head. He picked up the metallic object again turned it between his fingers and murmured coolly:
"Yes yes. Then the conversation is over. Send your father my regards."
He turned around to disappear back into the other room as if he had something far more important to do there. More important than our lives.
Now my heart was racing so fast that I felt dizzy. If Artur rejected us here I had no idea how we were supposed to continue. The more time passed the more preparations the kingdom could make to move against us. It was only a matter of time.
Wait!" I replied in panic "If you turn us away we will not survive this! Then there will be nothing left I could ever pass on to him again!"
Artur stopped in the doorway.
I hurried around the counter. Marcy took a step forward lifted her chin and looked Artur straight in the eyes before she said in a calm firm voice:
"Nova has been through a lot and has risked her life several times. The least you can do as a friend of the family is hear her out. But this is also about our future so we should not be excluded."
Kiyan and I looked at her almost at the same time. While my mouth hung open in astonishment Kiyan's eyebrows shot upward.
The Marcy I had gotten to know over the past days had always been reserved. Seeing her suddenly take action like this was unusual for me.
Artur for his part had listened to her attentively yet he gave her no answer and instead turned to me:
"If they are your friends they will have to understand. One single foolish mistake puts me in trouble. No matter how many people are involved. I will talk to you but not to them."
I sighed so quietly that it was barely audible then turned to Marcy and Kiyan:
"Would you please wait outside for a moment?"
"No. That is not an option" Kiyan refused immediately without even thinking about it.
"But—" I began to say yet Kiyan's firm shake of the head caused a lump in my throat that kept me from finishing the sentence.
Frustration and anger spread through me. Something had been building up inside me for over a week. Again and again I had been questioned. Again and again I had been rejected even though I only wanted to help. I had always been patient and forgiving and I had accepted that my boundaries had been pushed several times. Did they not understand that we depended on Artur's help?
"Artur would you please make an exception for me just this once?" I tried again my voice filled with desperation.
"No I must be careful too and if you do not wish to follow my rules then my door is no longer open to you. Your father always respected them yes yes. I ask you to leave" he answered sternly.
They really were testing my last nerve. I took a deep breath and put a hand to my forehead. Feverishly I tried to think of a way to salvage this conversation. But no solution came to mind. If no one was willing to meet the other halfway we would get nowhere.
"Good luck, Nova" Artur finally wished me and left us alone in the room. It did not take long before the dull sound of the hammer striking something metallic echoed again.
I leaned my head through the door and found him working in a corner at a second workbench. I called his name several times to regain his attention but he either ignored me or gestured briefly for me to leave.
My hands clawed into the old wood of the doorframe. Was Artur really planning to leave us out in the rain like this? He had known my father and me for so long so why would he not meet me halfway?
And why could Kiyan not give in to me just this one time?
Before anyone could say anything I stormed past the two of them and shoved the door open in anger to step outside. Marcy had stepped aside just in time so I did not have to bump into anyone to reach the door.
With long quick strides I headed toward the busier street we had come from.
"Wait!" I heard Marcy call.
Then I heard the sound of boots running quickly over the dirt ground. In between it went splash splash splash.
Right before the cross street someone grabbed my cloak. When I turned around angrily Marcy stood in front of me.
"Nova are you alright? You are acting completely different today than we know you" she asked with a worried expression and a soft voice.
Kiyan walked up to us. Every one of his movements looked tense.
I threw my hands in the air in frustration and answered:
"No of course I am not alright! For days I have been running into walls trying to pull you along and trying to find the best possible solution. But you are putting too much pressure on me and Kiyan questions every single decision I make."
Marcy blinked rapidly and replied:
"I am sorry that was not my intention. I did not know you felt that way."
The drawer in which I had stuffed all my feelings in the past days had burst open because it was overflowing. And now that it was open I did not know how to close it again.
"You were the ones who joined me and not the other way around. If I can I like to help. Truly. But like this…" The rest got stuck in my throat because the pent-up frustration tightened my voice.
She stood in front of me her face growing paler while she watched me with concern. Since I had cut off my last sentence she waited patiently for the rest.
I sighed.
"So we are simply not getting anywhere. I appreciate that you helped me a little, but what I would have preferred is that you two had met me halfway with Artur. I do not understand why you are working against me," I burst out.
I felt awful for unloading my frustration on her like that.
In the meantime Kiyan had caught up with us again. He stepped behind Marcy but did not join the conversation. I was not sure how much he had heard.
Marcy drew a sharp breath before she replied:
"We did not want to stab you in the back or seem ungrateful. But we cannot afford any mistakes."
I felt heat gather in my face. Did she really think I was taking everything lightly? Admittedly I had taken certain risks, like when I had spoken to the traveler to get information. Or when I had accepted Janosch's offer. But since our first meeting I had not thrown myself senselessly into danger again. Every risk I had taken after that had been absolutely necessary. I had always moved carefully.
I inhaled deeply, straightened up and then addressed both of them at once:
"I think you do not know what you want. You do not trust me, or at least not fully. That is the problem."
"We know exactly what we want," Kiyan huffed indignantly and for a heartbeat a shadow crossed his face before he continued in a cool voice, "but you do not know our enemy as well as I do, trust me. With the methods they use… anyone could suddenly become an enemy. I have witnessed that up close. Just because you trust someone does not mean that applies to us."
His answer left me speechless for a while. Of course he was not wrong in what he said. I was well aware that we could be in serious danger at any time. But that was exactly why I had turned to someone I knew. Someone who knew my family and who had helped me across the border more than once in the past. I was certain that if I could trust anyone who did not belong to my closest family, it was Artur.
At the same time my anger was threatening to boil over. It had been building in me for far too long. I wanted nothing more than to scream at the two of them. With all my strength I forced myself to stay as calm as possible.
"He was our— no, my only chance to leave the country. Who knows if Artur will ever speak to me again! What is the point of fleeing together if we cannot stick together? Maybe… maybe I really should reconsider all of this," I said quietly but with a trembling voice.
No sooner had the last sentence left my lips than I regretted it on the spot. All of it. From beginning to end. Damn it. Why had I said that out loud?
Marcy flinched. Her blue eyes shimmered for a moment as she asked:
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Kiyan did not move a muscle. I avoided looking at him directly, afraid my anger and frustration might take over. Saying even more thoughtless things would not help us.
"No idea. But I need to think. I will come back to the stable later," I muttered, staring at my boots before turning around and leaving them behind without a single glance back.
Later I realized that I should never have left. Because that was when everything started to spiral out of control.