The door clicked shut behind me. Two and a half hours in there and I still felt better than fine. The paper had gone just as planned and three hundred and ten Outers had formed a group. That was worth more than the exam itself.
I was halfway down the corridor already thinking ahead when I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I turned. The villainess herself was in front of me.
Her face was just as beautiful as I remembered and yet she wasn't glaring. She wasn't smirking. Her lips moved and what came out nearly made me laugh in her face.
"I'm sorry."
I blinked at her. No, really, I just blinked like she'd told me the sky was green.
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry."
That time it landed harder.
I actually chuckled. I couldn't help it. My sister, the manipulative, untouchable, all-powerful Xaessiarerich was apologizing? I tilted my head, leaned in slightly, and let the laugh curl in my throat.
"Did I hear that right? You... you're saying sorry to me? To me? Since when do you do that?"
Her expression flickered just for a second, but I caught it. I muttered, shaking my head as if she'd just told me the worst joke of the century.
"Unbelievable. Come on. You don't even believe you're wrong. You never do. So what are you apologizing for? What, did you think if you whispered a little 'sorry,' I'd just crawl back like the dog I used to be because you showered me with a little bit of emotion that I wanted back then?"
Her silence said more than words ever could.
"Ah. That's it, isn't it? You thought I'd beg for scraps again. You thought the old, desperate big brother was still here, his tail wagging and waiting for a pat on the head. Cute. Really cute."
I scoffed and waved my hand, brushing her words away like smoke.
"Keep it. I don't take your apology. You don't even know what you're apologizing for. You're not sorry. You just want me where you can see me. And you know what? I don't blame you. You're good at that. Manipulation's your art form. But me? I'm done with it. Even I got limits to how much I'll suffer for you."
For the first time, she looked what? Speechless? That was new. And if I didn't know better, I'd almost say her eyes looked… confused?
"Was this caused by Verdamona?"
I laughed again. I tapped my own chest with a finger.
"No. Not Verdamona. This was me. My decision. You could crush me in seconds but I won't bend anymore, even if you win."
And it was true. The thought had been sitting in me for a while, and now it was true. If she tried to subdue me by sheer force, pin me down, chain me up and drag me back to the shadow I used to live in, I'd rather give up this whole life than go back. I turned on my heel, already moving, leaving her standing there in the corridor. My hand lifted lazily in a wave without looking back.
"Goodbye, sister."
The air outside the corridor hit different, like I'd finally shrugged off something that had been latched to me for years. But it left me sighing, too, because I knew exactly what I was dealing with.
Xaessiarerich was dangerous and if she really wanted to, she could end me. The only reason I was still breathing free air right now was because, for some reason, she hadn't pulled the trigger. And also I was the heir of the House. Why let me walk away though? Why not crush me the second I mouthed off? I didn't know, and maybe I never would but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to waste brain cycles on her anymore.
I had work to do.
This was the part of MoDS where knowledge was everything, and I had more of it than most. The real race had already started and I wasn't about to lose it because I got tangled in my sister's games. I shoved my hands in my pockets a smirk tugging at my lips.
"Alright, time to see what I can snatch before the others get their grubby hands on it. Let's hope the bracelet club hasn't looted it all yet."
°°°°°°
I circled the quad for what felt like the hundredth time, trying to decide whether I wanted to be bold and confront the bracelet students head-on or clever and watch them from a distance until they showed their teeth. The university was one of those places designed to make you feel small and important at the same time with colonnades, trimmed hedges and benches artfully placed beneath trees to catch the light.
Honestly, it's the perfect university.
I hadn't been hiding for long before I saw Verdamona sitting alone on a bench. Three second-year girls clustered around her. One of them had a poster with that smug little logo of an eye ringed by vines. Their smiles were the kind you practiced in front of the mirror until no one could see the practice anymore. I slid behind a tree and pretended to admire the texture of the bark while I listened.
The tallest one with glossy hair and a confident posture was doing the lead pitch. Her voice was sweet as honey and practiced like a speech.
"The Premonition Club is where the best minds gather. We do advanced Flux theory workshops, pattern analyses of large-scale flux incidents and we host visiting scholars. We mentor promising first-years and we have partnership programs. If you want internships or a serious foot into the outside world, this is the place to be."
The second one who's a wiry girl with a fast smile, cut in.
"We meet twice a week. Our mentorship program pairs you with seniors who have actually gone on practical missions. There's a real safety net. When you're dealing with dangerous Flvium research or sensitive diplomatic projects, you don't want to be alone. The Club protects its own."
The third quiet student added.
"And we have shared resources too. Notes, experimental data, field logs, you name it. You can't always trust a textbook. Sometimes you need people who have been in the trenches."
She looked at Verdamona with that haloed hope like she expected the heroine to accept and change the world with her mere nod. It was a recruiting speech dressed as altruism. I could smell the graft from where I stood. "Mentorship," "safety net," "access to external funding", these weren't the words of ordinary club members. Those were the terms of network consolidation. If you could gather a protagonist and cloak her inside a club, you would control the neat little ladders of the story.
When the girls left, leaving a glossy poster on the bench as if it were a calling card, I stepped out and did the most satisfying thing I could think of.
I crept up and yelled "boo" from behind her.
She yelped hard enough to nearly spill the coffee she was holding. She jumped to her feet and spun so fast I would have laughed if she hadn't been so obviously startled. She pouted at me and it was kind of cute.
"Don't do that!"
"Sorry. Couldn't resist."
The look on her face softened from frightened to annoyed to amused in the space of a breath. We had reached that stage where small annoyances slid into something comfortable and familiar, which was dangerous in its own peaceful way.
"You should join."
"Why would I join that club?"
"Because they're suspicious. They waited until you finished the exam to come over. They showed up with a guided pitch, a mentorship program and a glossy poster. Two of them had bracelets."
I watched her process the word bracelet like it might do something to her if she looked at it wrong.
"That's exactly why I don't want to join. If they want me for leverage, I'm not giving them that."
"It's worse if you avoid them. Without evidence, reporting does nothing. Clubs are a gray area. If you stay out, you'll be an attractive, unguarded target. If you go in, you can gain information as to why they're bothering you. I'm sure they're the ones trying to talk to you since you came here."
She opened her mouth as if to argue and then shut it again.
"I don't want to act alone. If I go, I want someone with me."
"Fine," I said, quicker than I expected. "I'll go with you. But let's do it next semester. I don't want to be involved in that chaos."
She blinked in genuine surprise this time. "You will?"
"Yeah. I'm being circled as well. Girls keep orbiting around me like I'm a vending machine. It's creepy. Besides, someone has to watch the watchers."
"Alright. I won't go alone then. I'm not getting dragged into something without you."
We made an agreement. We would attend the Premonition Club next semester. Why? Because after summer, Act II is going to need a lot of information.