Asuma Sarutobi was just about to scold the kids for their antics when Ito Hirofumi suddenly popped up right in front of him.
"Ito Hirofumi, huh?" Asuma said, crossing his arms. "You kids are still young. Drinking's one thing, but smoking? Isn't that a bit much for your age?"
Ito waved him off like it was no big deal. "Asuma-sensei, now's not the time for that. If I'm not mistaken, you've got a thing for Kurenai-sensei, don't you? But come on, man, chasing a girl like that? You're never gonna win her over at this rate!"
Ito's blunt words hit like a kunai, and Asuma's face turned beet red. Kurenai, sitting nearby, blushed too, shooting Asuma a quick glare.
This kid has no filter! she thought, mortified. Getting called out like this in front of her students? So embarrassing!
Asuma, meanwhile, was squirming. He'd never told anyone about his feelings for Kurenai. How the heck did this kid know? Did he just… figure it out?
Ito took a swig of sake and a drag from his cigarette, looking like some seasoned romance guru. "Asuma-sensei, if you wanna win the lady's heart, you've gotta nail three key things."
Asuma's curiosity piqued. Did this kid actually have some secret dating tips? "Alright, what are the three things?"
"First one's easy—persistence!" Ito declared.
Asuma nodded. "Makes sense. What's the second?"
"Second? Shamelessness!" Ito grinned. "Sensei, you're way too shy. Blushing just from sneaking a glance at Kurenai-sensei? You'll never get the girl like that!"
Asuma coughed, caught off guard. This kid saw me sneaking a look? "Uh… okay, what's the third?"
"Third's the simplest of all!" Ito said, leaning in. "Keep being shameless!"
Asuma blinked, muttering to himself. "Persistence… shamelessness… persistent shamelessness… Huh. That actually kinda makes sense?"
WHAM! Ito slammed his hand on the table, startling everyone. "Asuma-sensei, since you're treating us to dinner, I'm gonna do you a solid. I'll teach you a song! Learn this, and I guarantee you'll win Kurenai-sensei's heart. Plus, you can sing it together with the woman you love!"
Asuma's heart started racing. A duet with Kurenai? Now that's something! "What's the song?" he asked, barely containing his excitement.
Ito cleared his throat dramatically. "This is a song we all know. Get ready, everyone—we're giving Asuma-sensei a full-on group performance!"
The Konoha 12 snapped to attention, grabbing their bowls and chopsticks to bang out a rhythm. Ito stood up, radiating confidence like he was about to lead an army into battle.
"Alright, everybody! You ready?!"
"YEAH!" the kids shouted back.
Ito chugged another gulp of sake, tossed the bottle onto the table, and belted out, "Who~~~ is my groom~~~?!"
The Konoha 12 jumped in, banging out a lively, upbeat rhythm. Naruto Uzumaki took the next line, grinning ear to ear. "No more looking left and right!"
Sasuke Uchiha followed, cool as ever. "No more guessing every night!"
Naruto again: "Who is my groom?"
Sasuke, perfectly in sync: "I'm your groom!"
Naruto: "Who is my bride?!"
Sasuke: "I'm your bride!!"
"Hey, hey, hey~~~ come back to my side~~~!"
After Naruto and Sasuke's round, Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi took over for the second verse. Then Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame kept the vibe going for the third. Finally, Neji Hyuga and Rock Lee closed it out with flair.
For the grand finale, all twelve shouted in unison: "Hey, hey, hey~~~ let's go meet our parents today~~~!"
Asuma, Kurenai, and Might Guy sat there, utterly dumbfounded, jaws on the floor, eyes practically popping out of their heads.
The entire summoning space was in the same state—everyone was floored.
Minato Namikaze, cheeks a little red, glanced at his wife, Kushina Uzumaki. "Hey, honey… this song's kinda catchy. Wanna learn it together?"
Kushina rolled her eyes but smirked. "It is pretty good, I'll give you that."
Fugaku Uchiha looked at his wife, Mikoto. "What do you say, love? Should we give it a go?"
Mikoto blushed but nodded shyly.
Then, Hashirama Senju couldn't hold back anymore. He shot to his feet, eyes sparkling. Mito Uzumaki watched him with a warm smile, thinking, This big goof… he's still got a romantic side. Singing something this bold after all these years as husband and wife? A little embarrassing, but if it's his idea, I'm in.
But to Mito's shock, Hashirama didn't walk toward her. Under everyone's bewildered stares, he strode straight to… Madara Uchiha.
"Madara~~~!" Hashirama sang out. "Let's do a duet! Who~~~ is my groom~~~?! Madara, your turn!"
Madara's eyelids twitched like crazy. "Sing with you?! Get lost, you idiot! Meteor Shower Jutsu!"
BOOM! Hashirama went flying.
"Madara~~~ I'm soaring again~~~!" Hashirama wailed mid-air. "Will we ever meet again~~~? I've prayed at the Buddha's feet for a thousand years~~~!"
Suddenly, a chilling wave of killing intent swept through the room. Mito's iconic hair buns were undone, her fiery red locks shooting skyward like a Super Saiyan's. Her chakra erupted in a massive, terrifying aura.
"Hashirama! Senju!" she roared. "Today, I'm making you kneel before the Buddha for a thousand years!"
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