So my story is pretty funny and sad, but funnier, I think. You be the judge.
My name is David, a pretty common name around these parts, and I'm not supposed to be in St. Hubert! That is pretty much the whole summary, but there have to be reasons, right?
Well, the reason was pretty simple. GES and WAEC were less powerful than my Father. The senior high school I was assigned was Kumasi Anglican Senior High School (KASS), but Father had other plans for me. And those plans were to send me to St. Hubert!
The reason was kinda stupid, not insulting my Dad. I will never do that shit! I'd rather stay a virgin all my life, probably. Anyway, the reason was that my senior brothers all completed St. Hubert!
I'm the fourth born. The firstborn never came to St. Hubert. The second born, Samuel aka Sambobo (what kind of nickname is that?), completed St. Hubert with flying colors. Yay! Like hell I care!
The third born, Daniel aka Sambobo (it seems he also took on Samuel's legacy...), was currently in his second year. I pray I don't take up that sickening nickname. I have my own!
Lucius, Magnus, or Bane. Amazing right?
So yeah, that's the whole matter. I could've talked my way out of it, but living in a house where Mother is the only female is torturous. If Father tells you to sleep, the older ones back him up, and you will have to sleep against your will!
So you can imagine how it went when he said, "David, you won't be going to KASS. You will be going to St. Hubert."
"Nigga, you say what?" I asked that in my head, though. I'm too young to die. But still... Dude! I wanna see them ladies and their big asses and all that!
I've lived with guys all my life. Just let me experience girls for once! Okay, that sounded someway but still...
Well, I couldn't say all those aloud. Say it and risk meeting your maker ahead of your time, and it will be a one-way ticket too. So, I didn't say it. All I could muster was, "But..."
"No buts!" Yeah, so that was it. Case closed!
"Chill up, bro! It is not as bad as you think," Samuel said with a smirk. I could sense something interesting in those eyes of his. "Daniel, tell him,"
"Tell me what?" I asked. Damn, I hate suspense!
"Have you watched Harry Potter before?" Daniel asked, turning serious all of a sudden.
"Yeah. What has that got to do with this?"
"You've seen how their food is, right?"
"Of course! That's one thing I love about the movie,"
"Well, guess what? That's how the dining in St. Hubert is," Daniel said, matter-of-factly. Who the fuck are you kidding? But you know the funny thing?
I believed him! Daniel of all people! I fucking believed him and I regretted it on the day I came to St. Hubert!
This dude told the greatest lie of the millennia!
And I still believed it...
I'm truly pathetic, aren't I?
Anyway, I'm still yet to start schooling officially. They are still working on my admission, of course, through protocol. I'm sure by now, they would be having their orientation or something like that.
Hope I get some great friends there like me.
I have a secret, you know?
I'm insanely strong. Not the usual strength that comes with adolescence or anything like that, but kind of super strength. Maybe it's just my mind playing games with me. You never know. After all, we live in a world where superpowers are fiction, so I might be imagining things. But that's that.
...
This orientation sure is weird; my personal opinion. It has already been like three or two days, probably, I can't recall. Many things had happened.
First was my first dining in St. Hubert. Amazing! Bro, the food was superb! I wish I'd been poisoned by and sent home to eat Mother's food. What kind of dogshit was that?!
The Sunday roster for supper was supposed to be Jollof Rice with boiled egg! Where was the jollof rice, you motherfucking cooks (excuse my insults but I have to vent out somehow...).
That was no jollof rice! That was colored rice with egg, pink egg! Probably my imagination, but dude, that was poisonous. I couldn't eat the shit. The only edible thing on my plate was the egg. Also, for some insane reason, the upper years here were literally fighting over the food like it was ice cream.
"You won't eat that?" One of them asked me. He was dark skinned, of average height, and slim.
"I don't think so," I replied with a disgusted expression.
"Great! Then give it to me. I will help you with it, but don't worry. You will get used to it soon," He said with a happy smile as he took my plate and helped himself to the "jollof rice". I feel like puking.
Remember I said I might cry tonight?
Yeah, I did! I cried, but not too much, but tears are tears, so I cried. This was really hell!
Best part, I wasn't the only one who cried. I was even better off than most.
One guy even fell from his bed after experiencing a nightmare. I'm sure the nightmare was related to the school. I'm very sure of it!
Anyway, today was the first day of the orientation, and we are back inside that ancient building, the Recreational Hall, as they called it. That was where the admission took place. I had gotten some friends over the past few days. My old classmates were around too. My new friends were mostly from my dormitory. I could've made more, but my introverted ass couldn't even muster the courage to greet "Good Morning."
The orientation was pretty weird. This guy here, who is supposedly a teacher or so, is ranting on about the school's history and other stuff. Dude, I want to eat! This thing is of no importance to me!
Well, he couldn't hear me. Of course, I didn't speak out loud. I wouldn't risk my freedom and low-keyness for anything. SO, I just sat there and endured.
I'd already met other strange people apart from Father Paul, Mr. Marfo, and the Music Prefects. Well, they were all strange, to be honest. They all seemed to have a few loose screws.
Hopefully, they don't cause genocides, or I would be the first to leave the school.
Without knowing anything, I had cracked a code of the school. Genocides are real!
Anyway, back to the orientation...
This guy didn't look like he would be finishing soon, but thankfully, the siren came to the rescue. I love you, Siren-chan!
As always, the heroes make an appearance at the last moment, and the siren did just that. The teacher looked like he'd taken a kick to the balls as he permitted us to go and eat.
You can't be angry with Siren-chan, you wicked bastard!
So, we left him all by his angry self in the Recreational Hall and went to eat that shit.