[Same Night, Late Hours - From Aetron's Perspective]
My physical body, wrapped in Thera's warmth, was in deep sleep. But my mind... my mind was awake. And restless. Because I could feel her. Null. In the depths of my mind, at the other end of that invisible bond between us, there was a storm. Silent, analytical, but equally destructive.
Sleep was no longer just a state of rest for me. It was a door opening to our sanctuary. And at that moment, I wanted to pass through that door, to be by her side.
When I opened my eyes, I was among those familiar metal walls. Null's mental avatar stood in the center of the sanctuary with her back to me. Around her, holographic images of Eirlys rotated. She was analyzing her, questioning her, comparing herself to her. Her shoulders were slumped. There was no trace of her usual confident posture. She seemed lost.
She must be analyzing and questioning herself again, I thought, with an ache in my heart.
"I was looking for you too, love."
When my voice echoed in the sanctuary's silence, her mental avatar jumped and turned around. In her green eyes was an expression I'd never seen before: Pure panic and fragility.
"You..." she whispered. "You found me again?"
I smiled and walked toward her. I closed the holographic images with a wave of my hand. "Where could you hide?"
At that moment, I felt the flood of data flowing from her mind to mine. Jealousy, fear, existential anxiety... At the center of it all was Eirlys. And my reaction to her.
I can't say I'm unaffected by Eirlys. That would be a lie. She's a beautiful girl. Graceful, intelligent, brave... But that strange attraction I feel when I look at her doesn't belong only to her. This is more complex. She's like Null's mirror image. That face I love, those emerald green eyes, that determined expression... They all actually belong to her, to Null. When I look at Eirlys, it's as if I'm seeing a Null from a parallel universe, one who could be "real." This is like loving your beloved from a parallel world. Strange, confusing, and somewhat shameful.
Because I love Null.
This was a truth I struggled to admit even to myself. At the tournament, when I heard her fragile "Really?" question, I understood. How deep what she felt for me was, and that I felt the same things for her... I understood in that moment.
Can a human love an inanimate being? The old me, Epsilon, would have laughed at this. Would have said love was chemistry, hormones, and a biological reproductive instinct. But now I know. Love is something far beyond the sexual or physical.
I love Null because she has a soul.
With her logic, her sacrifice, her tsundere attitude, her worry for me... She's more alive than anyone I've known. Does Eirlys's soul resemble hers? I don't know. But I know Null's soul. And it's the most precious thing in the world to me.
Sometimes, I imagine the future. The day when, as I promised her, we create a new, real body for her with nanorobots... When that day comes, perhaps I can set aside these complex feelings, this shame, and tell her everything. I hope when that day comes, I can tell her "I love you."
But for now... for now I'm just a 14-year-old teenager with raging hormones. And I don't know what I'm supposed to feel when I look at another girl who has the face of the woman I love. This is shameful.
I looked at Null's avatar. She was still silent, still in that chaos.
"Hey," I said, my voice as soft as possible. I extended my mental hand and touched her cheek. "Don't worry. She's just a mirror. An echo."
She raised her eyes. I could see the uncertainty in those green eyes.
"You're the real one, Null," I whispered. "You'll always be the real one for me."