Nyte's Point of View
Plap! Plap! Plap!
"God, this is so dirty," she complained.
It'd been raining all Friday, and the puddles were unavoidable. Thank goddess her outfit's boots were waterproof. She really hoped the weather wouldn't ruin tomorrow's barbecue the way Kusa's flowers did. Sweet Rich, always the planner, even took her shopping with him to prepare. Those ribs he bought looked good raw. She could only imagine what they'd taste like after her boyfriend was through.
With a flourish, the Spider Queen closed her umbrella and walked into Stinger headquarters for yet another weekly meeting.
"Oho, if it isn't Little Miss Social. How does it feel to have a life? The old ball and chain still letting you go to these things?" Tick Queen Kleia ran over to her and immediately started teasing. She'd been like this when they were kids, too.
We both know I don't have a choice in being here, Nyte thought ruefully. "I like to keep my private life and work life separate, Kleia. Once you get a life, maybe you'll feel the same."
Kleia grimaced and clutched at her heart. "Oh, that stings, Nyte! No fair! Below the belt! You know boys aren't really into blue hair, stereotypes, and all that."
Nyte snorted. Yeah, stereotypes. "You know what they say about women with blue hair..."
Kleia gasped. "Don't you start! It's not my fault that my mom had a fetish for blue guys. I just lost the genetic dice roll. If only I'd been born a boy, girls would love me."
"If you'd been born a boy, you'd have driven me even more insane. I imagine our parents would've tried to push us together, and, no offense, but you are not my type."
The Tick Queen sighed dramatically. "So cruel! It's a wonder you have a boyfriend at all."
They walked side by side to the assembly point. The soldiers were already in formation, Nazi biker outfits and all. How did two Jews ever get mixed up in something like this? Well, she knew, but the real explanation just made things weirder. "If you can believe it, Kleia, we met because I used to bully his twin sister."
"How the heck did you pull a hottie like that then? Shouldn't he hate you?" Kleia asked incredulously.
Nyte paused, her mind grasping for an explanation. Truthfully, she hadn't thought much about it. Meeting Rich just sort of...bled the negativity out of her. It really helped that he was such a good influence on Rebecca that she no longer really deserved to be bullied. "Character growth" was the explanation she gave Kleia. Yeah, that made sense.
Her friend, and yes, they actually were friends despite everything, smirked at her. "You know, I grew a character myself."
"Fufufu," Jellyfish Hitler entered with her trademark laugh. "Tick Queen Kleia! Have you prepared a new mutant for me?"
Kleia inclined her head. "But of course, my lady. Meet Sow Mutant Porcina!" She waved her arm dramatically.
In walked an eight-foot-tall pig woman wearing a crown and battle dress. "The age of woman is over. The time of the Pork has come!"
***
"Have a burger, Julie! I can fix one for you right now. What do you want on it?" Rich was working the grill. The sun was shining, yesterday's inclement weather forgotten like a bad dream, and best of all, no demon flowers or Stinger monsters!
Tony the truck had proven his utility as they had both the Rice family charcoal grill and smoker set up by the picnic tables in Plano Park. A cooler of soft drinks and his father's Tecate beers (that he wasn't allowed to drink) sat off to the side. Curse you, Zordon! I'm underage again!
"I was waiting for the ribs," his girlfriend said, "didn't want to spoil my appetite." Her fingers absentmindedly played with the overly frilly apron he was wearing. Honestly, this was all they had in the house? Being touched in public like this was a little embarrassing, but Julie knew not to go too far.
"I just wrapped them in aluminum foil; it'll be a little bit until they're ready. That's why I brought hamburgers and hot dogs too, to tide everyone over until the main event. Speaking of everyone, you think your mom will show up?"
Julie, his Julie, tall, statuesque, and supremely confident, fidgeted like a little kid. "I'm not sure. I mean, she does work on Saturdays a lot, and yes, we joke about that. Being a lawyer just means long hours sometimes, especially when you're working out the details of a big deal."
Rich looked up from the grill in interest. "Oh yeah, she ever tell you about what she's working on that's so important?"
Her nose crinkled in what might've been disgust. "Some kind of merger in the meat processing industry. They want to lock farmers into long-term contracts where they can only sell to them. It's basically forming a cartel. We're rich, but sometimes you pay with your soul."
He grinned and shook his head. "Sometimes being evil is the only way to make money, cruel world." Rich moved the cooked burgers to the cool part of the grill and flipped the hot dogs. In the empty space just freed up, he started toasting the buns. Pre-cut lettuce and tomato were staged on a nearby table with the condiments. "Hey, everybody who wants a burger, they're ready!"
Becca and Dad were here, and a few girls on the football team Julie invited. It was actually the whole offensive line, and they were running Becca through their blocking schemes. From what he could tell, his sister was fitting in.
These were big, beefy women, tall and broad, but Becca was right there, looking like she belonged. Rich smiled as the crowd formed a little queue in front of the grill.
A huge redhead Rich remembered from lunch was chatting with his twin. "If you're telling the truth about your numbers, then you might just outperform Shelby, that's the girl you're replacing, who just graduated. A 275 power clean after only lifting for six months is crazy."
Rich was just as shocked as everybody else. His twin was a stud, no doubt about it. Er, studette? The large ladies all kind of checked him out as he served them, but oh well. Nobody was gonna try anything in front of Julie.
"Lucky bitch," he heard one mutter as she passed by Julie. His girlfriend just smirked arrogantly and put a possessive arm around him.
Dad, never much of a big eater, came last. "A hamburger is a bit much, son, but I could go for a hot dog." Dad's eyes scanned where Julie was touching him. He couldn't quite tell whether his father approved or not.
"Coming right up, Dad!" Hot dogs were quick and easy. He put one on a paper plate for his father and glanced at the chef's alarm. The ribs would be up to temp soon and would need to be pulled out of the smoker to rest before being eaten. About to do just that, Rich noticed a well-dressed woman who greatly resembled a middle-aged version of his own girlfriend, purple eyes and all. Clad in a blue pantsuit, Esther Cohen looked every inch the hotshot lawyer.
"Already pawing at the new distraction, I see," the woman criticized. Rich expected Julie to let go, but she held firm.
"Rich is not a distraction!" Julie retorted vociferously.
His girlfriend's mom fixed him with a critical eye. "That remains to be seen. If your performance suffers because of boy drama, I won't hesitate to terminate this little relationship of yours."
The two women held each other's gaze, an invisible power struggle taking place right before his eyes. Rich was so used to people instantly caving and giving Julie whatever she wanted, himself included, that seeing someone casually challenge her seemed absurd, almost comical.
What do these two talk about at dinner? he wondered. Oh, who was he kidding? They probably didn't talk much. Julie made any excuse she could to eat at their house, and from what he heard, her mom was a real workaholic.
"How's your little meat cartel thing going?" he asked idly.
Esther Cohen's eyes narrowed for a split second, then softened. "Swimmingly. We'll have an exclusive deal with every plant in North Texas. That's a lot of beef, pork, and chicken, let me tell you. Everything will go through my client. We're just stacking billable hours."
Well, whatever money Julie spent on him came from crooked deals like this, so Rich could hardly complain. "Could I offer a hamburger or hot dog to tide you over, Mrs. Cohen? The ribs will be ready in less than an hour."
The woman raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Pork ribs?"
"Don't you start!" Julie said in exasperation. "I've seen you eat a McRib before. You don't give a damn about keeping kosher and you know it!"
She took her daughter's criticism in stride. "There's a big difference between eating a little barbecue and dating a shaygetz, Julie."
Rich wasn't familiar with the term. "Shaygetz?"
Julie looked positively mortified. "A male non-Jew. It's not quite a slur, but it's definitely pejorative. A lawyer should be careful about her language! You might've hurt Rich's feelings..."
Esther held up her hands. "My mistake. Remember what I said, Julie. This is the big year you've been training for. Your future, all those private lessons I paid for, will be for nothing if you let cock distract you. I expect impeccable performance in your senior year. Anything less, and the boy toy is gone!" She walked away before pausing and turning her head back slightly. "I do believe I'll stick around for some of those ribs. They smell delicious."
Once she was out of earshot, Julie started giggling madly. "Little does she know, we're not even fucking. My Rich is pure. Hehe..." Her hand drifted down his lower back, but stopped short of his ass. "Until we're both eighteen, then no promises."
***
"Oh my goddess, it smells so good..."
"Looks good too!"
Everyone was praising him once the ribs came out of the foil, fall-off-the-bone tender, perfectly seasoned, rack after rack ready to be devoured.
The big redheaded football player was breathing heavily. "Lady Jesus...Julie...are we gonna be eating like this regularly now? Is your boyfriend gonna cook for the football team now that his sister is on it? Please say yes!" Everyone looked hopefully at her.
Julie stroked Rich's arm as he set out platters of ribs for their party. "That's up to him. What do you say, honey?"
Rich was about to answer when he detected a certain stench. Shit and sweat and rotten wood assaulted his nostrils. What the hell could smell like that?
"Onward, my horde! Let none of these pig murderers sully this sacred ground! The woods are ours!" A shrill voice cut through the air like a scythe. The picnic table they were gathered around started shaking. They all glanced around, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
"Oink!" A side table with bags of chips sitting on it went flying as a feral hog ran past, upsetting it. Then another. Then another.
A wave of feral hogs was rampaging through the park, stampeding past picnic tables, tearing up food, and knocking people down.
"They're coming right for us!" one of the football players called out.
"Protect the ribs!" Julie ordered. Her offensive line, Becca included, got in formation. A line of powerful human mass drew itself up in defense of their barbecue. "Baby, you need to get these ribs folded back up in the foil, and I'll help you get them safe to your truck. You worked too hard for them to go to waste."
While the big girls were pushing and grunting to ward off the hogs, Julie and the adults worked furiously to gather up their food.
Rich went along with it until he detected corrupt energy. There, in the distance, urging on the hogs, was another of Stinger's monsters! "Julie, I need to go!" he said, but she was having none of it.
"It's not safe, baby. We can still eat at my house. There's a nice big patio with tables and plenty of shade. Right now, we need to make sure the feral hogs don't get close enough to hurt you."
This was surreal. Rich had seen stories about feral hog rampages before, but in suburban Plano? Where the hell did they even come from? And what about that monster? Still, there was no way to break contact and transform. Julie kept a firm grip on him and hustled him into her BMW.
***
A fairly sedate lunch followed at the palatial Cohen residence. Rich knew his girlfriend was rich, but had no idea how rich. Her house was big enough to get lost in.
"Julie, maybe I've misjudged you," Esther said grudgingly. "This boy of yours definitely has domestic talent." Julie had definitely inherited her appetite from her mother. There was a pile of clean bones on Esther's plate, all that remained of the full rack Rich served her.
"He takes care of everything while I work," Dad bragged. "The house is spotless and I get three home-cooked meals a day. It's a dream, honestly, takes a lot of stress off my shoulders, what with being a single dad and all."
Esther raised an eyebrow. "Single?"
Dad looked uncomfortable. "Yes, actually. I'm a widower. It's recent," he said quietly.
The face of Julie's mom changed. Gone was the arrogant self-assurance. She was now just as placating and sympathetic as could be. "I'm terribly sorry to hear that." She extended her hand. "I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced. Esther Cohen, attorney-at-law."
"Oscar Ramirez-Rice, I'm an embedded systems programmer at Texas Instruments."
Rich and Julie exchanged glances. Were their parents flirting?
***
"I want my baby back baby back~" Rich sang to himself while bringing food to one of his tables. He was working at Chili's tonight. Tony the truck still needed gas and insurance, after all. He hadn't had to spend money on anything else. Dating a rich girl had its benefits.
"Here's your food!" he said brightly to the elderly couple. Old people were either the best or worst customers. These were shaping up to be some of the best.
"Thank you, dear," said an old man.
"You're welcome. I'll be back to check on you in a little bit."
Settling into waiter mode was easy as hell. Rich almost didn't need to think about it. He could do this job on autopilot. Noticing somebody needed a refill for their drink, he was about to swoop in when he saw the water in a glass rippling.
Small tremors turned into general rattling, and people started to panic. "Earthquake!" somebody cried. Rich knew it wasn't an earthquake. Glancing out the window, he saw the same feral hogs from earlier tearing through the parking lot. Cursing his luck, Rich slipped away to transform:
"From a future dark
To a post not set,
Stinger hasn't won just yet,
With Pureheart Power, a noble mission,
Come forth! Future Hero! Henshin!"
Clad in the Endram Armor once again, Future Hero rushed out to confront the porcine menace. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Piggy?" he taunted the monster.
"That's Sow Mutant Porcina to you, Future Hero! My warriors will taste manflesh this night!"
"You'll be bacon before then!" He got into his fighting stance, coiled like a spring, and, "Future Chop!" he nailed one of the pigs right in the back of the head once it passed by him. The hog's pink bulk crumpled; its momentum sent it crashing into a nearby car.
"Urrah! Murderers! Farmers! Butchers! Despoilers! Curse you all!" Porcina flew into a towering rage, but did not immediately attack.
A hog headbutted Future Hero from behind, but he kept his feet. Seeing his danger as the mass surrounded him, Future Hero leaped onto the hood of an SUV to gain the high ground. Once he had a good sense of how many pigs there were and where, Rich jumped to the ground, bringing down his feet on the spines of two at once. CRACK!
Porcina cried every time he hit a pig. Was she a coward or something? Why didn't she fight?
With a few more kicks and punches and chops, the hams on legs were all down, and the Chili's parking lot was safe once more.
"Big and bad, but not enough to fight your own battles, huh? Whatcha gonna do once your friends are gone?" Future Hero advanced on the pig woman threateningly.
"I, uh, find I have a most urgent appointment elsewhere!" Porcina turned and fled. Future Hero gave chase, and they found themselves in a quarry.
"End of the line, Porcina. Don't you know? I'm Future Hero, and Stinger can't win while I'm around!"
With her back quite literally up against a wall, the sow mutant was forced to defend herself, but she was slow. Future Hero's movements were smooth, precise, and devastating. With Alice-sensei's training fresh in his mind, the lardy lady couldn't even touch him. The mutant was sucking air, impotently trying to ward him off while he danced around her, peppering the pig with shots meant to sting rather than do real damage.
"Enough playing with my food!" Rich declared. Gathering Pureheart Power in his right hand, he shifted his weight perfectly, an unbroken chain from his foot to his fist, putting all his body's energy into a single crushing blow. "Future Punch!"
There was an explosion of purple sparks when his knuckles made contact with Porcina's battle dress. The force of it slammed her into the quarry's rock wall. Dust and pebbles rained down on them both.
"Please...don't...eat...me..." The monster lost internal cohesion and seemed to melt away, her bulk rendering and giving off a corrupt, rotting smell that made him gag.
Future Hero stepped away from the pig goo and struck a victory pose, flexing and stretching his muscles. "I'm afraid you're not to my taste, lady."
Noticing the sun setting, he panicked. "Crap, I've got to get back to work!" He forgot about trying to look cool, summoned Future Roller, and drove back to Plano city limits, hoping his tables didn't notice his absence.