"God, I look like shit."
Rich Rice hardly recognized himself. Examining his reflection was like reading a map of pain. Every feature was swollen, puffy, distorted. His lips were split, there was dried blood around his nose, and his left eye had an angry, purple bruise forming around it.
Worst of all, there was a sickly, greenish-yellow mark rapidly spreading along his ribcage that stung when he took too deep a breath. Azure Abrams had kicked his ass.
"I can't walk around like this," he said to nobody in particular. A momentary flash of insight struck, and Rich considered raiding his father's makeup cabinet. The only problem was that Dad didn't wear that much makeup in the first place, and Rich had no idea how to apply it anyway.
My kingdom for a YouTube makeup tutorial! Alas, the first of those was probably half a decade away.
Perhaps he could lie? Rich could say sparring in karate had gotten too intense. Yeah, that could work.
On further reflection, no, probably not. Rich didn't have karate today, and Alice-sensei typically didn't let things get out of hand outside of a promotion test for the higher ranks. Rich was "mid-kyu" now, whatever that meant. Honestly, Alice-sensei might be a weeb, the way she peppered her sentences with untranslated Japanese phrases.
There was so much to do. Reka needed to be informed. Maybe they could take a little field trip with the Future Force and inspect that old warehouse for clues. Whoever Azure was, Rich didn't think she was actually in charge of Stinger. The blue-haired girl was in high school just like he was! Future Hero had won a battle, barely, but the war was nowhere close to over. That "Jellyfish Hitler" was still out there.
Rich laughed at the memory and instantly regretted it, wincing in pain at the movement in his chest. Well, it could be worse. His injuries looked bad, but he was pretty sure nothing was broken.
With no better ideas, Rich decided to turn on the computer and see if Google had anything at all by way of makeup guides. Even pictures without video would be worth something.
As an afterthought, he opened AOL Instant Messenger and noticed his friend Beni Reyes was online. Beni! If any boy knew makeup, it had to be him!
richthesitch: Hey Beni, was wondering if you were free
littlereyofsunshine: i'm always free for you, rich
richthesitch: Glad to hear it, Beni
littlereyofsunshine: so what's up? u want to hang out? There's still a lil bit of summer left u know~
littlereyofsunshine: us boys should enjoy it while we can
richthesitch: I've got a bit of a problem, need some help with my makeup
littlereyofsunshine: OMG do you have a date tonight? wanna look pretty for julie?
richthesitch: Not exactly, could you come over? Do you need a ride?
littlereyofsunshine: nah I've got a cute lil car, omw luv!
Beni's absurdly cute typing style had Richard feeling oddly at ease. Maybe being a boy in a reverse world wasn't so bad sometimes.
***
"Ohmaigoddess! Did Julie hit you?" Beni screeched within two seconds of Rich opening the door. His playful demeanor was gone as he forced his way inside the Rice house. Seeing Rich like this had Beni in supportive papa bear mode instantly.
Rich held up his hands. "No, no, nothing like that," he replied hastily. "Julie is absurdly gentle with me. She would never. I, uh, had a run-in with Stinger, actually." Technically true, but saying it like that felt like a lie.
"Oh, you poor dear." Beni cupped his face gently, running his fingers over every injury with feather-light touches. "Stinger is just awful, especially to boys. Don't tell me, did the one who did this have blue hair?"
Rich stiffened in shock. "How did you know?" Was Beni more than meets the eye? How could somebody possibly guess that?
The effeminate boy just smiled. "Lucky guess. You know, stereotypes exist for a reason."
"Stereotype?" Rich asked, not quite following. And why did Beni accept the Stinger excuse so easily? The way people treated a terrorist organization as just another fact of life never sat well with him.
Beni smiled kindly. "Blue-haired women are husband beaters, Rich. They're full of anger and like to take it out on the weak." He led Rich to the bathroom for a closer look. "You know, you're surprisingly naive sometimes. It's easy to forget. You have this untouchable aura at school, which, don't get me wrong, is iconic."
"I'm iconic?" Rich squeaked in disbelief. He was just a guy.
"Yes," Beni said simply, taking Rich's chin between his thumb and forefinger and making him turn his head to look at his own reflection. "You and Julie Cohen are an unbelievably photogenic and iconic power couple. She's tall. You're tall for a boy. You're both muscular and athletic, and so obviously in love. The way you match has me jealous. I'd never look as good next to her as you do."
The last sentence was soft, almost vulnerable. "Hey, don't sell yourself short, Beni. I could never look like you, either. On some level, I'm forced to be muscular. Rice family genes only let you be big. My choice was either big fat or big muscular. I chose muscles."
Beni raised a teasing eyebrow. "Like your sister?"
"Hell yeah. Changing her was easy as hell. Just a few healthy home-cooked meals and a few hours in the gym, and look at her now. I think I deserve a lot of credit for her glowup," Rich bragged. He loved talking about his twin sister. If anyone understood him, it was her. So strange to admit, but it was true. Rich would die for Becca. They hadn't met until six months ago, but the love was there, as real as if he'd known her his whole life.
"Yes indeed," Beni agreed easily. "She...glowup?"
Rich flinched at the odd, confused way Beni said "glowup" and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Yeah, uh, Louisiana slang. I used to live there for a few years. Glowup is like grow up, but with a glow. It's like an ugly duckling turning into a swan."
Beni started clapping and cheering like he lost his mind. "OHMAIGODDESS! I LOVE IT! Rich, you are so cute sometimes! I swear, you're built like a tank, but there is the heart of a real boy in there, I know it!"
"Gee, thanks, Beni. So, how about it? Think we can cover all this up?" He indicated his black eye and other Stinger souvenirs with a hand.
The cute boy looked up at him, and Rich was suddenly conscious of how much taller he was as the silver streak in Beni's hair flapped playfully. "Let's get you in a chair."
***
"Ow, watch it!" Rich said when the brush touched a sensitive spot.
"Sorry, sorry. We just need a little more concealer. It's a good thing you have a sun tan right now, or my Latino shade wouldn't match you."
"Oh, I'm half Mexican," Rich said idly. Even though he was white to the world, he'd always tanned well, revealing his mom's, er, dad's blood.
Beni almost dropped the little makeup container. "You are? I'd have never guessed."
"Yeah, I-"
"Rich, I'm home," Dad called out from the doorway to the garage. Strange, Rich didn't even hear him come in. Doing makeup with Beni was too much fun.
"My dad is Mexican. Want to meet him?"
Beni leaned in and applied a few splotches of something before blending it with a brush. "Sure, Rich. Just let me add a few finishing touches."
They left the bathroom together and ran into a woman Rich didn't immediately recognize. She was a Latina wearing a cowboy hat and wrangler jeans. "Hola, Ricardo, where is Rebeca?" The woman emphasized the Spanish pronunciation of their names.
Oh no. It couldn't be. It was a genderbent version of Rich's cousin, on the Mexican side! He, uh, she, Rich guessed, always liked to flex how she could speak Spanish while Rich couldn't.
Dad was right behind her. "Oh my! Are you two boys having a makeup party!" He zeroed in on his son immediately. "Rich, you look beautiful! Do you have a date with Julie tonight?"
Rich laughed nervously. "No, uh, just thought I'd try something new. This is my friend Beni, by the way."
"Hi!" Beni waved cheerfully.
Before Dad could reply, his cousin interjected. "Trying to connect with your roots, Ricardo? I approve." She said something in rapid Spanish to Beni, who replied in kind.
"Rich is muy popular," Beni said indignantly. "He's the most popular boy in school. Mollygirls are in these days."
His cousin didn't look convinced. "Rebeca as well?"
Dad put a hand on her shoulder. "Rebecca has lost a lot of weight. She's on the football team now, Yesenia. Things have really started to turn around after the low point when we lost Karen."
Yesenia. So that was his cousin's name in this world! Phew! Not knowing was so awkward. "So what's up, Yesenia? You visiting for a while?" Rich asked.
Dad spoke for her. "Your auntie is on a business trip, so Yesenia will be staying with us for a while, maybe the whole fall semester. I know it's a lot to ask, but could you help me get a room ready for her?"
Oh, Yesenia was basically moving in. Rich would have to adjust everything, cooking for one more person. He was already calculating how much more groceries they'd need to buy in his head. Yesenia would want Mexican food. Their menu would have to change a bit. "No problem. All your stuff in the car, Cuh?"
"Cuh?" Yesenia spat the word in disgust. "You may address me as prima, Ricardo!"
Okay, Dora the Explorer...
Beni excused himself at that point, and the Rice crew got to unpacking Yesenia's things. They were the same age, so she'd be starting school with them at PLUH next week.
"You mean to tell me la gorda Rebeca is on the futbol team now?" Yesenia was showing off by carrying three suitcases at once while Rich followed her into the empty area they would soon convert into her bedroom.
"Yep! If you want, I can show you some pictures on the computer later. She has a lot more MySpace friends now!" Seethe, cousin! There will be no more bullying of my darling sister!
"I can look at her when she gets home later. Do they really have two practices a day?"
"Si," Rich said mockingly. "She won't be back until it's time for dinner. We'll have tacos tonight, in your honor."
"You've certainly developed a sharp tongue, Ricardo. Now you're wearing makeup and dating a girl? So much has changed!"
More than you know, Cuh. Concealing Future Hero activities just got a lot more complicated.
They had an air mattress for Yesenia to sleep on, and Dad went to his bedroom to lie down for a bit while Rich handled the rest. "So what's Auntie up to, anyway?" Rich asked while hanging up some clothes. Even in a reverse world, his cousin was the same. Nothing but cowboy and western wear. Just because the family business was beef processing, it doesn't make you a real vaquero!
"Major advances in slaughterhouse automation, primo, throughput will be up while labor costs will be down. Mom is arranging it all, taking advantage of low interest rates to purchase and install all this new equipment. Our family is going to get wealthier. If only Tio Oscar wanted to get in on it. He can program these machines, no? Your father was always good with computers, the smartest in the family. What about you, Ricardo? Interested in the family business?"
In his first life, no. But this time around, maybe? "I know C and ladder logic. Dad taught me. Maybe for a summer job? Right now, I plan to go to the same college as my girlfriend. That's set in stone, Yesenia."
His cousin froze. "Already so serious? About Julie Cohen?"
The way she said it, Rich could almost swear Yesenia knew her, but that couldn't be true. Until recently, she'd been living up in Lubbock. "Yes," he answered honestly. They were about as in love as high school students could be.
"Interesting," Yesenia muttered, but said no more. They finished unpacking, and then he invited Yesenia into his room to play Nintendo.
Rich was about to start on dinner when Dad finally came out of his room. He was wearing makeup now!
"No need to fix anything for me, son. I've got a date with Esther tonight."
So it finally happened. Rich had emotionally prepared himself. He hoped Becca didn't take it badly. They'd only lost Mom six months ago. "I understand," he said, no judgment in his voice. Dad deserved love. He couldn't mourn Mom forever.
So many things were happening. It was almost like they were beginning a new story arc, introducing new characters and plotlines that had only been hinted at so far. Rich braced himself for an awkward dinner. Who knew how Becca and Yesenia would get on?