The sun wasn't even fully up when Aria Lane stepped onto the set—
—with a tote bag so full of snacks it looked like she'd robbed a convenience store on the way here.
Daniel stared at her bag the way a war veteran stares at incoming artillery.
"…Aria," he whispered, "why is your bag… growing?"
Aria adjusted the strap casually.
"I brought extras."
"EXTRAS FOR WHAT? A NATURAL DISASTER?!"
Aria blinked.
"…In case someone gets hungry."
Daniel stared at her.
She stared back.
A bag of chips crinkled ominously inside the tote.
Daniel sighed into the void.
"We're all going to die."
The Crew Notices Immediately
The moment Aria stepped onto the soundstage, the stunt team perked up like puppies spotting their favorite human.
Theo practically sprinted over.
"Miss Aria! Did you bring breakfast?"
Aria nodded serenely.
"Yes."
Daniel: "DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS!"
Marcus, the stunt coordinator, examined her tote bag like an artifact.
"What's inside?"
Aria opened it calmly and revealed:
three bags of chips
two chocolate bars
four granola bars
a pack of gummy worms
and something suspiciously shaped like a roasted bun
Marcus stared in awe.
"You came prepared."
Aria nodded.
"Always."
The stunt team cheered.
Daniel nearly screamed.
Director Mason Arrives… And Immediately Panics
Director Mason marched onto set carrying a binder, a coffee, and exactly zero hope left for humanity.
"Good morning everyone, today we start—"
He froze.
Then pointed at Aria's tote bag.
"What is THAT?"
Aria looked down.
"Snacks."
Mason slowly closed his eyes.
"No.
Please no.
Not again."
Aria pulled out a chocolate bar and offered it politely.
"For you."
Mason's soul left his body.
"I DON'T WANT—
NO—
STOP TRYING TO FEED ME!"
Aria tucked the bar back into her tote.
"Okay."
Mason rubbed his temples.
"I haven't even said 'Action' and I already feel bald."
Julian, watching from nearby, smothered a laugh.
"You'll survive, director."
"No, Julian, I won't," Mason muttered.
"Not with her here."
Aria took out a bag of chips.
Mason flinched like she'd drawn a weapon.
The Crew's Fear Level: Maximum
A camera operator whispered,
"Why is the snack bag scarier than any stunt?"
A lighting tech replied,
"She moves faster when food is involved."
Theo nodded earnestly.
"I saw her jump a barricade yesterday because someone opened chips."
Daniel corrected,
"She teleported."
The crew collectively shuddered.
Mason Tries to Establish Authority (Fails)
"Miss Lane," Mason said slowly,
"we are doing serious work today. Serious scenes. Emotional scenes."
Aria: "Okay."
"No snacks on set."
Aria: "Okay."
"No eating during takes."
Aria: "Okay."
"No CRUNCHING anywhere near the microphones."
Aria: "Okay."
Mason eyed her tote bag.
"…And no feeding the stunt team."
Aria paused.
"They eat a lot."
Theo: "We do."
Daniel grabbed Theo by the collar.
"SHUT UP."
Julian's Entrance
Julian walked up with his script in hand, giving Aria a small smile.
"Morning."
"Morning," Aria replied.
Her tote bag rustled loudly.
Julian looked down.
"More snacks?"
Aria nodded.
"For emergencies."
Julian's lips twitched.
"Of course."
Daniel pointed at both of them urgently.
"Stop bonding."
Julian shrugged.
"We're talking."
"No more talking!"
Aria blinked.
"But it's morning."
Julian laughed softly.
Daniel's soul died again.
The First Problem of the Day
The scene required Aria to walk through a narrow hallway.
Simple.
Straight line.
No obstacles.
Which was the problem.
Because halfway through rehearsal, Aria suddenly paused mid-walk, staring at a wall panel.
Mason shouted from behind the monitor,
"WHAT NOW?!"
Aria touched the wall gently.
"This panel is hollow."
Crew members gasped.
Mason shrieked.
"NO TOUCHING WALLS!"
The panel immediately loosened and tilted sideways.
Everyone screamed.
Daniel grabbed his hair.
"WHY DOES SHE BREAK ARCHITECTURE BY ACCIDENT?"
Marcus murmured,
"She's… gifted."
Mason stomped his foot.
"STOP CALLING HER GIFTED—
SHE'S A LIABILITY WITH GOOD CHEEK BONES!"
Julian coughed to hide laughter.
Aria just adjusted the panel back into place.
"There. Fixed."
A stunned silence.
Then:
Theo whispered in awe:
"…She's our queen."
The stunt team bowed their heads.
Daniel dropped to his knees.
Mason lost three more hairs.
---
By 9:00 AM…
They had:
lost structural integrity in one hallway
discovered Aria's snack stash
traumatized the director
bonded with Julian
converted half the crew into Aria worshippers
and completed zero scenes
Mason stared at the chaos around him.
He whispered, voice cracking:
"…Welcome to the set, Chaos Queen."
Aria blinked.
"That is not my name."
The stunt team shouted:
"YES IT IS!"
Daniel screamed:
"STOP CALLING HER THAT!"
Julian grinned.
"It suits you."
Aria thought for a moment.
Then nodded.
"…Okay."
Mason wept.