The song "I Once Thought About Ending It All" is an absolute gem. It once topped Japan's J-POP request charts on cable radio and even helped lower the national suicide rate for a time. But this song isn't just a hit because of its catchy melody or well-crafted lyrics—it's because Mika Nakashima poured her heart into singing it!
It's like Angela Zhang's "A Diao"—the most powerful and resonant entertainment comes from raw, intense emotions. If the singer's heart isn't fully in it, no matter how great the song is, it won't move anyone.
Not many people listen to a song like that.
"Guess it's true… I can't do this alone."
The more nervous Himawari Izumi got, the shakier her singing became. The shakier it got, the less emotion she could pour into it. And the less emotion she showed, the less the audience cared.
It was like singing at a karaoke bar—belt out your heart, but everyone else is too busy rolling dice or chatting to notice. A sense of being cut off from the world crept over her. As she glanced at the diners below, who were no longer listening, Himawari gripped the microphone tightly, her eyes betraying her growing panic.
She instinctively looked back, hoping to see familiar faces, but they weren't there.
Her gaze dimmed, and a wave of disappointment washed over her.
Her mind was a mess!
She started going off-key. The more off-key she went, the more she panicked, and the worse it got. But then, Tetsu Fuyukawa's words echoed in her mind: "All you can do is carry your past and move forward bravely. After all, there are still people quietly supporting you, right?"
Her eyes landed on Sayako, who was in the front row, arm-in-arm with Tetsu, watching her sing. A jolt ran through Himawari's heart.
Soon, under the shocked gazes of Yumemi and the others, the delighted eyes of Sayako, and Tetsu's playful "I knew you were a tsundere" smirk, Himawari's voice began to steady.
Not just steady—it soared!
Let's be real—Himawari Izumi had a natural gift for singing. Her vocal range was incredible. Her low notes weren't exactly bass-cannon deep, but they were steady and powerful, a stark contrast to her pure, almost delicate appearance. And her high notes? They were like her personality—ethereal, emotionally charged, and piercingly intense. When she hit her peak, even Tetsu could feel a shiver down his spine.
As her singing reached its climax and her voice poured through the restaurant's speakers, the diners' attention gradually turned to her.
Confidence is something you build! In Japanese culture, where group harmony and support are key, people often shine brightest in environments that boost their confidence.
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The lighthouse at Mint Candy Harbor,
The rusted arch bridge, the abandoned bicycle,
Standing by the heater at the wooden train station,
My heart can't find a place to start its journey.
---
Watching Himawari sing with growing ease, Tetsu's lips curved into a slight smile. Beside him, Yumi Konno—now married—flashed a cheeky middle finger at the stunned Yumemi and her group. But Yumemi wasn't even paying attention to Yumi anymore; her eyes were glued to the stage.
The song was amazing, and Himawari was killing it!
But Yumemi was miserable.
"When did she write this song?!"
Anyone could tell "I Once Thought About Ending It All" was a masterpiece. Even with Yumemi's high standards, she could hear its potential to go viral—far surpassing the song Risa had gotten from a senior songwriter. But none of that mattered to her now. It had nothing to do with her.
"I Once Thought About Ending It All" was indeed a phenomenal song. On the surface, the lyrics might seem melancholic, but at its core, it was bursting with vibrant life. To convey that kind of emotional backbone, the singer needed intense, almost overwhelming emotional investment. And Himawari Izumi…
"Himawari—her name says it all. Sayako's not the only one supporting you."
Watching her pour her heart into her performance, Tetsu crossed his arms, a faint smile on his face.
Honestly, he didn't have much interest in an 18-year-old kid like her. But maybe it was the shared pain from a past life that made him feel a unique connection to her. Otherwise, with his personality—and given how Himawari loved to tease him—he'd have probably dragged her off for a playful spanking, even if Sayako tried to stop him.
"With her situation stabilizing, Sayako's stress will ease up too. That's good. Now I can focus on finishing the game—"
His thoughts were cut short as his eyes widened.
No particular reason—Himawari had gone off-key again!
And it wasn't just that—the rhythm was off too!
Under Tetsu's gaze, Himawari clutched the microphone with one hand and pressed her in-ear monitor with the other, desperately trying to find the sound.
"No way, no way, no way, no way, NO WAY!"
The sound in her ears was fading, and it felt like a giant hand was squeezing her heart. Panic filled her eyes.
It wasn't the embarrassment of a "failed revenge" or the fear of never hearing again—it was "Why now, of all times?!"
Seeing Sayako's frantic expression in the crowd and thinking of that delicious cherry cake, Himawari clenched her fists, her heart racing with panic. But then, under her wide-eyed stare, Tetsu climbed onto the stage.
Without a word, he took her left hand and placed it on the vibrating speaker.
"Relax. We're all here."
She couldn't hear what Tetsu was saying, but looking into his calm, warm eyes and feeling his gentle grip guiding her hand, the tension in her eyes began to melt away. A sense of reassurance took root in her heart.
For once, she didn't snap back at him. Instead, she let him guide her delicate hand to the speaker. The rhythm of the vibrations flowed through her palm, and though she could barely hear anything now, she started to find the beat again. Maybe it was the complete isolation from outside noise, or maybe her heart had finally calmed. As she looked at Tetsu's handsome face, her eyes blinked softly, and something in her gaze began to shift. But quickly, she raised the microphone again.
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I cried, wanting to be loved, because I felt human warmth.
I once thought about ending it all.
Because of your radiant smile,
I kept thinking about death, probably because I was living too earnestly.
I once thought about ending it all, because I hadn't yet met you.
Because there are people like you in this world, I've come to look forward to it.
---
Let's be honest—Himawari, a beautiful girl with a stunning voice, was a force to be reckoned with. And Tetsu was getting his first real taste of Japan's passionate support culture. As Himawari hit the song's climax, the entire restaurant erupted. Diners spontaneously raised their phones, waving them like glowsticks in a concert.
The energy was unreal—even Tetsu was caught off guard. Yumemi and her group had already slipped away.
