I was hungry. I was thirsty. I was exhausted. But what I expected at the table was not food, nor water, nor rest. I was startled the moment I saw a trace of myself in the eyes of the woman standing before me. Were eyes hidden within eyelids truly the mirrors of the soul? Each of my thoughts left a mark on the folds of my soul. It was just like the weighing down of my eyelashes hanging from my eyelids. "Food and water..." I repeated; "To be hungry and to be thirsty." The faint words falling from my lips were as hard as dry mortar, reluctant and monotonous.
"Are you reviewing all the possibilities?" the woman asked, tilting her head slightly to the left. "Other possibilities that you actually never possessed... Think again. But without forgetting this: A die never has a seventh face." As I listened to her words, I clenched my fingers into my palms with all my might.
"Some dice hide possibilities from you," I spoke; my throat was burning like fire. "From all of us. With difficulty." The difference between us was too weak to carry the darkness between us.
"The duration you can survive without eating or drinking is certain," she murmured. "In the end, we are all just animals..." It was clear from her eyes that she took pleasure in presenting this for my appreciation.
"Is threat still the only thing you enjoy?" When Sis asked the woman this question, as if wanting to turn the coldness between us into ice rather than dispelling it, time froze. Taking his gaze completely off my face and the woman's, he rubbed his body against the wall and repeated in a provocative voice, "Is this your elegant game?" The woman looked away as if she were not affected by his words in the slightest.
Not expecting him to intervene like this, I muttered in a half-conscious state, "How?" Then, realizing late that by "your game" he meant the group leader and the assistant, I took a step back and left the field to them. As if carrying a sack of burden on her shoulders, the woman lowered her arms and said with a serious expression on her face, "You see it from whichever side you look." This pointed to a dangerous game rather than an optimistic view.
"Then you are looking at it from the elegant side!" Sis said impatiently. "We are just looking from above," the woman confessed.
"Well..." I blurted out. Both of their gazes locked. "The offer you made me," I said, catching the woman in that state. "Is it still valid?" Sis swallowed hard at the question I asked. He seemed to take the question more personally than its intended recipient.
"If I were in your place..." Sis took on a threatening air, raising his index finger in the air. "I would approach this offer very carefully." The blonde woman smiled and, without listening to him, said with the same fake kindness, "I want to know your thoughts." As Sis's index finger slowly lowered, I realized he was measuring my reactions.
"Accepted," I said in a low voice. Even I was very surprised by the decision I made. The strange thing was, Sis couldn't hide his surprise either.
"Let's go," the woman said with a pride unique to those who lead, ignoring any other conditions. I lifted my gaze from my feet and turned it toward Sis. Why was I looking at him as if apologizing? Seconds later, I began to walk in the opposite direction behind the woman.
I thought that the ground beneath me would crack at any moment, that black hole would open, and I would have a fate similar to the fate of the others. It was annoying to think that going back the way we came meant everything was starting over. As my feet dragged on the ground, I asked, "Can we look at the holo-screen?" The woman stopped and waited. The holo-screen had opened. I read my new task: [Never cry]
I looked at the screen strangely. The woman seemed completely indifferent. Never cry? How can a person stop their crying? It was as if blood had rushed to my brain. Despite the feeling of numbness in my legs, I returned to walking.
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The blue holo-screen stood waiting like a guard before me. Cold was leaking in through the thick walls. With a feeling of chill in my chest, I tried to warm up by rubbing my frozen hands together. That's what made this moment difficult: The group leader's meditation. "What is he doing? I-I don't understand..." The fatigue alarm in my wrists imprisoned me. The group leader was sitting cross-legged on the ground, his hands joined under his chin. He looked quite comfortable in the position he sat.
"Food and water?" I asked hesitantly. "His meditation must end," the woman replied in a cold voice. Not a trace of her kindness remained. The group leader's eyes were closed. There was a strange atmosphere in the environment. When the man opened his eyelids, perhaps under the influence of the sound, his eyes squinted as if exposed to an intense light.
"Meet him," the blonde woman said and stepped back, leaving us alone. Without breaking his position where he sat, the group leader murmured, "Never cry. This is a truly ambitious task. Exactly the kind of event we love to control... Rules. Have you been able to get used to them?" "..." "I couldn't hear you?" "A-actually... I came here to learn the location of food and water." "I had taught you how to fish," he said as his eyelids opened.
Frowning, I continued to restrain myself in that damn environment. "I don't remember..." I confessed; the more I thinned my voice, the more my personality was crushed. "Y-you..." His hands slipped from under his chin and fell to his knees. "Are you serious?" My heart was thumping. I settled for shaking my head slightly. Just then, I felt a wetness on my nose. When I lifted my head and looked up, I saw a piece of gray sky. R-rain! It was raining. When a few more drops fell from there onto my face, I closed my eyes. The screams of my body, withered by the effect of hunger and thirst, seemed trapped in the raindrops.
"If you continue to learn what you need to know about this place so late," he said in a low voice. A dark reflection appeared in my eyes whose light had faded. I continued to hear him, but I couldn't move from my spot. "The probability of your survival will weaken..." I thought of one person missing from the group. What had happened to them? One person was already missing in the group game. So, how had it been possible for someone else to leave the group afterwards? Even though the group game wasn't being played!
The man got up from the ground, clapped his hands together, and took a deep breath, assuming a peaceful expression. We walked toward the trigger he had shown me in the past. As soon as that severed arm came to life in my mind, the urge to vomit had also returned. I tried to endure. I tried not to get caught in the whirlpool of thoughts. But it was in vain! Quite cold-bloodedly, he held that arm and lifted the trigger. As the door opened noisily, the rusted chain clattered. My heart was beating so fast that I must have bitten my lips. The taste of metallic blood roamed my palate. The taste mingled with the taste of the rain.
This time, I looked inside. It was empty. A steep ladder leading downward was visible. At that moment, I realized I had to face my fears. "This ladder..." he said with an ice-cold voice. Again, he had dared to leave his emotions behind. His voice left me alone with myself. "Would you like to... experience it and end your hunger and thirst? Burn whatever remains, let it go!"