I reached up and placed my index finger firmly against the center of Kang Min-ah's forehead.
"Personal space, Min-ah," I said, gently but firmly pushing her backward until her arms released my waist. "I am a fragile foreigner. Don't break me."
Min-ah pouted, rubbing her forehead, but her attention had already snapped to the guy standing next to me. Her eyes widened, scanning him like a barcode reader.
"Omo," she breathed. "I know you. You're the 'L.A. Boy.' The infamous heartbreaker of the first year."
Leo blinked, still chewing his chicken skewer. "Heartbreaker? I haven't even talked to any girls yet."
"Exactly," Min-ah grinned. "The first-year girls go crazy for that. They say his face is jogak-minam (sculpture-handsome)."
She used the specific four-character idiom rapidly. Leo frowned, leaning closer to me.
"San," he whispered in English. "What did she say? Is she making fun of me?"
I looked at Min-ah, then at Leo. A devilish impulse took over.
"She said," I whispered back solemnly, "that you have a face like a geometrically confused potato."
Leo's jaw dropped. "What? Seriously?"
"No, you idiot," Min-ah interrupted in English, rolling her eyes. "I said you are handsome. Very." She turned to me. "San-ssi, introduce us properly. Are you two friends?"
Leo answered before I could. "San is my best friend."
I froze. Best friend?
I looked at Leo. He was completely serious.
I thought about Danylo back in Cherkasy. It had taken us ten years, a hundred arguments about Naruto vs. Dragon Ball, and countless hours on the rusty courtyard bars to earn the title of "best friend".
Here, apparently, all it took was one skipped math class and a tour of a club. Koreans were fast.
"Right," I said, recovering. "Leo, this is Kang Min-ah. My classmate and... my best friend."
Min-ah beamed. "Double best friends! Come on. I'm bored of the tents. Let's go to the main building. I have to do a shift at my club."
"Your club?" Leo asked. "Kirin's Secrets?"
"Hush!" She put a finger to her lips. "That's a hobby. My official club is 'Kirin's Voice.' The Broadcasting Club."
We followed her back into the cool, air-conditioned main building, heading toward the glass-paneled room in the music wing I'd seen on the tour.
The "Kirin's Voice" studio was impressive. It looked like a professional radio station. Inside, a few students were practicing dubbing for a school documentary, repeating phrases over and over while older members critiqued their diction.
"Project your voice, Il-gan!" a senior was saying. "You sound like you're ordering soup, not announcing a crisis!"
Min-ah walked in like she owned the place (which she basically did). She checked the digital clock on the wall.
"4:01 PM," she noted. "Time for the announcement." She turned to me, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "San-ssi. You have a deep voice. Want to try?"
"Me?" I hesitated. "On the school speakers?"
"Why not? Consider it practice for your 'Representative' duties. Just read this." She shoved a script into my hands and pushed me into the soundproof recording booth.
I put on the heavy headphones. The microphone was huge. I felt a sudden, familiar thrill. Back in Cherkasy, I had hosted every school concert and talent show since the 9th grade. I wasn't scared of a mic.
Min-ah gave me a thumbs-up through the glass. The "On Air" light turned red.
I leaned in, dropping my voice to my smooth, "radio DJ" register.
"Good afternoon, Kirin students and guests," I said, my Korean clear and formal. "This is your 4:00 PM reminder. The Club Fair tents will be closing in an hour, at 5:00 PM. Please wrap up your activities and assist with the cleanup. Thank you."
I finished and took off the headphones. I walked out, expecting applause.
Min-ah was nodding slowly, her expression critical.
"Not bad," she said, marking something on a clipboard. "For a rookie."
"Rookie?" I sputtered. "Excuse me? I was the main MC for the Cherkasy Autumn Ball three years in a row! I am a veteran!"
"Your diction was a little muddy on 'activities'," she said, ignoring my outrage. "And you need to smile when you talk. People can hear the smile, San-ssi. It makes the voice brighter. Try lifting your soft palate next time."
She has no idea how intelligent I sound in Ukrainian!
I stared at her. Gone was the gossip queen who lived for drama. In her place was a serious, passionate professional. She cared about this.
"Wow," I said, genuinely impressed. "You're... really good at this. Is this what you want to do? Broadcast?"
Min-ah looked startled, as if I'd asked her why the sky was blue. "Out of the sudden?"
"Just asking."
She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, looking a little shy for the first time.
"Yeah," she admitted. "I want to be an anchor. A TV presenter. Like Lee Eun-sook."
"Who?"
Min-ah looked at me like I was an alien. "Lee Eun-sook. The main anchor for KBS News 9? The 'Nation's Mouthpiece'?"
I shook my head.
"San... she's your host mother," Min-ah whispered.
My brain stopped.
Mrs. Lee? Eomeonim? The woman who screamed about the giraffe and got drunk on horilka?
"Wait," I choked out. "Mrs. Lee is... famous?"
"She's a legend!" Min-ah said. "She's been on TV for fifteen years!"
The memories crashed into me. Ha-neul, sitting in the living room every night at 9 PM.
"San-ssi, do you want to watch the news with me?"
And me, every time, saying, "No thanks, I have to study Korean," and going to my room.
I am the worst host son in history. I had been living with a national celebrity and I didn't even know it.
"Why am I always the last to know everything?" I groaned, burying my face in my hands.
Min-ah patted my back sympathetically. "You have your head in the clouds. Come on, shift's over."
We walked out of the studio, Leo trailing behind us, looking amused by my misery.
"So," I asked, trying to recover.
Min-ah stopped walking. That familiar, ominous smirk returned to her face.
"Oh, and let's go to another club," she purred. "My favorite club. It's not on the map. But since you two are my 'best friends' now..."
She gestured for us to follow her down a stairwell I hadn't noticed before, leading into the basement levels of the main building.
"Welcome to the administration of the forum," she whispered. "Welcome to Kirin's Secret."