=== CHAPTER 166: LIGHT AND SHADOWS ===
Chapter 166: Light and Shadows
Changing Star frowned. There was a hint of surprise visible in her cold, grey eyes."My… goal? Isn't it obvious?"She gestured to the slum that surrounded them and the magnificent castle towering above it."I'm trying to help these people. What else?"Sunny sighed.Then, turning his face away, he asked:"Hey, have I ever told you about my sister?"Nephis blinked."No. Why bring this up all of the sudden?"He smiled wistfully."I just was reminded of her recently, so I thought I'd share. You see… our parents died when we were little. She got adopted, but I ended up on the streets. Life wasn't really sweet for me. In fact, it was nothing but unsavory and bitter. So, young as I was, I simply imagined that it was the same for her. That's why I got obsessed with the idea of finding her. I had this fantasy in my head, you know, of saving and protecting her. Becoming a family again."Sunny grimaced."But how could a penniless undesirable like me find anyone? You know how the city databases are. Even if they're functional, unsealing anything requires you to be a citizen, and one of a considerable rank, too. However, I was ready to do anything to accomplish my goal. So, I saved up money. A street kid can't earn much, but even then, I saved up as much as I could."A dark expression appeared on his face."Even if I had almost nothing to eat, I would keep putting away the pathetic amount of credits I had earned through doing all kinds of horrid crap. And after four or five years of this, by the time I was nearly seventeen, I finally had enough to hire a private investigator."He smiled."You see, there was this detective who sometimes hired us nobodies to gather information for him. His services weren't cheap, but I trusted him. Or in him, at least. So I gave all my money to that guy and told him to find my sister. And you know what? He did. One day, about a month after we made the deal, he gave me a piece of paper with an address written on it. So I went there."Nephis hesitated for a few moments, then asked in a quiet voice:"So what happened? Did you meet your sister?"Sunny rubbed his face, glanced at the sky, and said:"Sort of. I actually met her near the tram terminal. Only at that time, I didn't recognize her. You see, despite my lofty ideas of being her savior, I couldn't even really remember what she looked like. There was this girl, around twelve years old, wearing a tidy school uniform. She was walking in the same direction as me. I only realized that it was her after she entered the house from the address."He was silent for a while, then continued, his voice strangely emotionless:"It was already dark. I think it was raining. The house was situated in a really nice district. They actually had the whole house to themselves. Just one family living in it, can you imagine? Well, I guess you can. Anyway… there was even a lawn. And a window… a big window that shined light outside. Watching them through that window was almost like watching a television show."Sunny remembered the splendor of it, his own embarrassing astonishment, and tried to smile. However, he failed."Standing in the shadows just outside the edge of that light, I observed her family for a while. She had parents who loved her and treated her well. She had real food, and enough of it to never go hungry. She had pretty clothes and expensive textbooks. She even had cute younger siblings. They were all smiling, laughing, and having a great time together."Neph looked at him and asked:"So what did you do?"Sunny didn't answer immediately. Instead, he remembered how he just stood there, watching those happy people. How he looked down at his own frail body, his dirty and ragged clothes, the bruises on his bloodied knuckles. And realized how utterly out of place he was in that picture.After years of dreaming of finding his sister and saving her, he was faced with the simple fact that she… she never really needed him. She probably didn't even remember that he existed. More than that, returning into her life would not bring anything good to her. He didn't have anything pleasant or beneficial to offer. He could only make things worse.[Do you want to read more chapters ? ] Out there on that dark and rainy night, while Sunny was standing in the shadows, something in his heart was extinguished forever. Something inside him died.No matter what kind of situation he would find himself in after this, nothing would really compare to the darkness he felt in that single moment.After remaining motionless for a long time, he slowly backed away, turned around, and walked into the darkness.…A few days after that, he began showing the first symptoms of being infected by the Nightmare Spell.And the rest was history.Shaking off the unpleasant memories, Sunny pretended to be carefree and shrugged."I did the only selfless thing that I have ever done. I turned around and went away. Do you know why?"Nephis slowly shook her head.Sunny grinned, the anger finally finding its way into his eyes."Because even a cretin like me was able to realize that the person he wanted to save didn't need his saving. So please tell me, Neph, why is it that you, with all your intelligence and clarity, can't seem to do the same?"She stared at him, a deep frown appearing on her face."Are you implying that I lied about my intention to help these people? If so, you are wrong."Sunny clenched his fists. Before he could stop himself, words flew out of his mouth.…No. To be completely honest with himself, he had to admit that he simply did not want to stop them. He was too exhausted, hurting, and shaken to keep playing this game with Neph. It was time to bring everything to light.Maybe then, he would be able to regain clarity.Glaring at Changing Star, Sunny spat:"...Fuck you, Neph."She blinked."What?"He smiled crookedly."I said go fuck yourself with that bullshit… Saint Nephis. You might have fooled everyone else, but I know you. I know you better than anyone else. So I don't buy your whole savior act even for a second."Sunny repeated her gesture, pointing at the surrounding hovels."Help these people? Please! What are you going to help them with? Help them turn into corpses? You and I both know how this ends. Cassie already told us. Fire and rivers of blood, right? Is this what you're planning?"Nephis stared at him, a dark expression written on her ivory face. Her cold grey eyes weren't calm anymore. Finally, there was a burning emotion in them. Was it… confusion? Pain? Disappointment?She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Then, Changing Star slowly shook her head.Finally, she seemed to find the right words. Looking Sunny right in the eyes, she slightly raised her chin and said:"...Fine. You got me."
=== CHAPTER 167: UNFORGIVABLE ===
Chapter 167: Unforgivable
Sunny stared at Nephis, stunned by her answer. He didn't expect her to admit it so easily.Meanwhile, she just shrugged."What? Was I supposed to deny it? Why should I? You are the one who is obsessed with lies, Sunny, not me."The corner of Changing Star's mouth twitched."Actually, I have to thank you. If it wasn't for you, I would have never learned how to deceive people so easily. I had a very sheltered upbringing, for obvious reasons. Communicating with others had always been something I knew very little about."She smiled darkly."How fortunate it was to meet you, of all people, on this forsaken shore. Lucky me. Right?"Sunny blinked. What was she talking about? He remembered how, during their journey to the Dark City, Nephis had tried to mimic Cassie in how she spoke to people. Had she been studying him, too?Neph took a step forward and pierced him with an intense, burning gaze."No one survives in the Dream Realm alone. I knew that I won't be an exception to this rule, so I watched Cassie and you and tried my hardest to learn from you both. That's when I noticed that nothing you ever said — or did — was true. Wasn't it?"'Crap.'Sunny felt a cold shiver running down his spine.She scoffed."No matter what happened, you somehow always managed to keep your real thoughts, desires, and reasons hidden. I've never seen anyone so adept at deception. Congratulations, Sunny! The mind games you played with us were almost as devious as the mental hex of the Soul Devourer. It was nothing short of inspiring."Changing Star paused and shook her head."You can even easily turn truths into lies. How… brilliant. I never even knew that such a thing was possible. Silly me. I didn't know a lot of things before I met you."She smiled."So, you see… while you were learning how to use a sword from me, I was learning how to use people from you. So please, Sunny, accept my sincere gratitude. I could not have wished for a better teacher. Without you, none of this would have been possible!"Nephis raised her hand and stabbed a finger at him. Then, with anger in her voice, she spat:"So where do you get the audacity to blame me for doing the same thing you do to everyone you ever meet?"Sunny trembled. Was she telling the truth? Did Neph actually learn how to be this manipulative and vile… from him?'Oh, no…'Someone that inexperienced couldn't have found a worse role model even if they tried. What a cruel twist of fate, to be sent into the Dream Realm together with a damaged, vicious man like him...Sunny gritted his teeth."That's not the same…"Changing Star scowled."How is what I am doing different? I haven't told a single lie to these people. I gave them just enough truth to make them deceive themselves, just like you taught me. But what, now that it was turned around on you, it is suddenly not fair? Now you won't settle for anything less than the whole truth?"She smirked."Fine. I'll tell you. Yes, you are right. There's going to be fire and rivers of blood. That is my plan. So what? How is it worse than this pathetic, hopeless existence? It isn't. I am going to kill Gunlaug. After he is dead, the Bright Castle will become engulfed in a civil war, with each of the five lieutenants vying for the throne. I am going to kill them, too. And when I am the last one standing…"Her eyes glistened."...I will gather those of us who remain alive and make a road of bones for the lucky few to reach the Gateway. That is my promise. That is the salvation I offer to the people of Dark City — a chance to return to the real world or die like a human should, standing tall and with a sword in their hand, instead of living in fear like a rat! I thought that you, of all people, would understand."[Do you want to read more chapters ? ] Sunny stared at her in disbelief. How could… how could she be so nonchalant about the idea of causing the deaths of so many people? Had their lives no value in her eyes?But then he realized that he was looking at it all wrong. He was looking at it from his own perspective, the perspective of someone who was used to surviving at all costs, to putting survival above all else. However, that was how his old self had viewed the world.After coming to the Forgotten Shore, Sunny had learned that there were things more valuable than staying alive. And he learned it from Neph.To her, a life that was not worth living was that much worse than a worthy death. Maybe, in her mind, she really was trying to help these people.But who gave her the right to make that decision on their behalf?Shaking his head, he whispered:"Is it really so terrible to live here? Is Gunlaug really so bad that you would rather see all of us die than let us remain under his rule?"A dark expression appeared on Changing Star's face. With cold contempt ringing in her voice, she said:"Gunlaug has done many despicable things. But I won't judge him for those. Who knows if any of us would have done any better? Keeping a thousand hopeless people alive in this hell is the kind of task that can turn a saint into a demon. No… there is only one crime he committed that I can never forgive."Sunny raised an eyebrow."Which one?"She lowered her chin and gritted her teeth:"It's that he gave up."She looked at Sunny and said, her voice full of intensity:"It's that he never even tried to reach the Gateway. With so many years to prepare and hundreds of powerful fighters under his command… do you really think that there was nothing he could do to enter the Crimson Spire? No… no, he simply changed his mind. Why return if he can live like a king here, in the Dark City? He abandoned his duty as an Awakened and submitted to the Spell."…And because of how he reigned, destroying people before they grew powerful enough to threaten his rule, Gunalug also prevented anyone else from trying.However, Sunny glimpsed something else from what Nephis had said. A hint of her true motivation. The words she chose to condemn Gunlaug were just too peculiar.Despite the fact that the Bright Lord had committed all sorts of atrocious acts and caused the deaths, humiliation, and sorrow of countless people, the thing that enraged Changing Star the most was not his corruption and cruelty, but something entirely different.The fact that he had submitted to the Spell and failed to complete his trial. Considering which family she hailed from...Was this the key to her mysterious goal?Frowning, Sunny asked:"Don't you think that, maybe, he just wasn't willing to see hundreds of people die? All these young men and women living in the outer settlement and the Bright Castle… how many of them are you ready to sacrifice to achieve your goal?"He grew silent, afraid that her answer would confirm his suspicion.Neph straightened her back and glanced at him. Once again, her eyes were firm and calm. Without pausing to think, she said, not a shadow of a doubt in her voice:"All of them. Of course."