Celeste's POV
——
'Why?
…This is the second time he is helping me. Why? Why wouldn't he let me die?'
—
I used to be best friends with my big brother. He was the only friend I was allowed to have, and he was the only one in the Martini Barony who truly understood me.
No one really liked me because I have a condition where I hear voices that are not there, or sometimes even see, feel or hear things that aren't real.
The family doctor said it was just a common mental illness, but everyone seemed to believe that I was cursed by the gods.
Only my big brother didn't think so, and he didn't treat me differently.
He defended me from the other children or servants who tried to bully or exclude me. He let me stay with him whenever I was scared, letting me hide in his room until the episode passed. Most times, he would even speak to me for almost a whole day just to drown out the voices in my head.
But… everything changed after his twelfth birthday.
He didn't manifest a bond like every other noble, and this instantly drove him to be distant.
He wouldn't speak to me, wouldn't see me, or even help me out when those episodes of unbearable illness struck.
I could understand at first. I reasoned that it was probably because of Father's harsh treatment that drove him to be that way. So, I never blamed him.
However, after getting my bond, Lilith, my condition grew worse.
Before, it was random words, random things, but after awakening and gaining my bond, the only thing I hear is a voice telling me to kill myself. A voice that tells me how worthless I am, and how better it would be for the world and everyone if I were to just… die.
The worst part, is that I can't use my magic until I meet a certain condition. But I do not like meeting that terrible condition, and because of this, everyone hated me even more, seeing me as equivalent to a Bondless.
I had no one to rely on. And the only person I used to have would yell at me to leave him, even when I really needed him the most.
That was why, when father and brother treated Cedric harshly, I joined too. Not just because I was angry with him for leaving me all alone, but because I envied him for being a Bondless.
I wished I never had my bond.
If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have to deal with this voice and constant feeling of wanting to kill myself.
If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have to resort to drugs to keep that feeling and the voice that keeps telling me to kill myself away.
If I didn't have it, maybe I would still have been friends with brother, as he would have seen me as Bondless, just like him.
The shame of how I treated him, how I mirrored the very cruelty he was supposed to protect me from, has always been heavier than any whisper the voices could conjure, because at the end, I ruined the one thing that kept me sane.
After everything I did to him, I was sure he hated me.
That's why, I do not understand: Why did he help me in the prison? He could have just left me bound to die and gone on his way.
Also, though I did ask him to let me come with him, I was sure he was going to tell me to go my own way. But instead, he let me come with him.
And now, even though I am a burden to him, he fights to defend me; and when he could have just let me die, he got himself injured just to save me.
Why?
Everyone calls me weak and cursed. Yet he just said, right now, that I am strong.
Why?
Oh, I know…
It is because brother cares. Big brother still cares for me even after everything I did to him.
I need to make it up to him. I need to apologize and plead for his forgiveness.
But right now, I need to help him and make sure that my brother does not die here!
And so…
I will meet the condition to use my magic…
I will pay the dreadful cost for my bonded ability…
I will… kill myself.
***
Cedric's POV
——
When I was done talking to Celeste, I groaned and angrily turned away, then quickly reached into my inventory and took out a health elixir and began chugging it down.
While I was doing so, a series of notifications I was waiting for appeared to my side.
[The exclusive attribute Gamer Privileges has detected a distraction from immersion in the Gamer.]
[Cause of distraction: Pain]
[Gamer Privileges has activated a Non-diegetic barrier.]
[Due to the effects of the Non-diegetic barrier, the Gamer has been granted Pain mitigation for the duration of combat.]
I quickly got up to my feet, braced myself, and began looking around.
It seemed Aika had done a good job of keeping the ghouls from coming to me during the brief time I was down, but she was already being overwhelmed and so I needed to quickly help her.
I raised my right arm and began preparations to use my exclusive skill, but just then, through the corner of my eye, I saw Celeste suddenly smile.
'Huh?'
Not just that, it also seemed like the fear in her eyes had suddenly vanished and was replaced by… resolve?
Strange.
This girl was indeed really strange.
Then… right at that moment, she did something even stranger.
I saw her raise the tiny knife, grip the hilt with both hands, and aim the tip directly at her heart.
…What?!
"Hey, hey, hey! Wh-what are you doing?!"
However, before I could stop her, she plunged the blade straight into her heart.
My eyes went wide with horror at the sight. I couldn't understand.
Why?
Just as I managed to reach her and grab her, she coughed up blood, then spoke in a gurgled voice. "Hold on for me, big brother…"
Then her body went limp, and a notification popped up to my side in red:
[The character Celeste Anele Martini is dead.]